I'll try to make this as short as possible. I was married for many years to a man who has some personality disorders and just couldn't keep a job. He is a craftsman, so he started working on his own, but do to severe ADD issues, had a really hard time budgeting his time and finishing jobs. I worked because there was no choice.
I reached a point last year where I couldn't take it anymore and left him. We owned nothing, except a literal pot of gold. At the time of the separation, the gold/silver was counted up and was to be split 50/50. At the time, he told me it was valued at $80,000. A mutual friend sat with him while he split it up and he gave me half. I was still living in the rented home, while he was continuing to work in the lower part of the home where he worked. He was making life very uncomfortable for me and I decided to go and housesit a friend's home, where I could stay with my girls for 3 months. I left and realized the next day that I forgot the gold. I went to pick it up and he said that I couldn't have it.
Shortly after that, I discovered that he had set up a credit card with me as the card holder and he was an authorized user (pretty convenient for him). It had a balance of $10,000 on it. Yes, I signed for it. We got to the point where I knew I would never win an argument with him, so I just gave in and did whatever he wanted because I was too exhausted to fight. I believe he had another card with a balance of around 6 or 7 thousand on it. I got my name off of that one and he is making the payments.
We are just beginning our divorce proceedings and I can't afford an attorney. I did consult with 2 different lawyers and they both told me to give up on the gold/silver because there was no proof. They also told me that because I was the bread winner, I just have to accept that I will pay child support. He is seeking child support from the point of separation, 15 months ago. He just told me that he filed his taxes and he made no money last year, as in zero income. When I did the math, assuming that he made $15,000 last year, I figured that I would owe him $700 a month. It very well be more if he really made no income (must be depreciation, write-offs because there was some $ coming in). If they make me pay for the last 15 months at $700 a month, that is $10,500 that I will have to pay him. I don't know if they will allow me to make payments or if I will have to figure out how to pay it all in a lump sum. Plus I will have to make the regular support payments each month on top of that.
Since he has no money I have to pay for most of
my daughter's expenses, plus maintain a household in one of the most expensive places in the country to live. I feel like I need to get another job, but don't want to add to my income until the child support is set by the court. I have a pretty good job, but there is never enough money. Since the separation, I have had around $3500 in car repair bills. My car is 10 years old and there are continual problems.
I feel like it's so hopeless. Not sure what I'm looking for here, just wanted to get it off my chest I guess.
I reached a point last year where I couldn't take it anymore and left him. We owned nothing, except a literal pot of gold. At the time of the separation, the gold/silver was counted up and was to be split 50/50. At the time, he told me it was valued at $80,000. A mutual friend sat with him while he split it up and he gave me half. I was still living in the rented home, while he was continuing to work in the lower part of the home where he worked. He was making life very uncomfortable for me and I decided to go and housesit a friend's home, where I could stay with my girls for 3 months. I left and realized the next day that I forgot the gold. I went to pick it up and he said that I couldn't have it.
Shortly after that, I discovered that he had set up a credit card with me as the card holder and he was an authorized user (pretty convenient for him). It had a balance of $10,000 on it. Yes, I signed for it. We got to the point where I knew I would never win an argument with him, so I just gave in and did whatever he wanted because I was too exhausted to fight. I believe he had another card with a balance of around 6 or 7 thousand on it. I got my name off of that one and he is making the payments.
We are just beginning our divorce proceedings and I can't afford an attorney. I did consult with 2 different lawyers and they both told me to give up on the gold/silver because there was no proof. They also told me that because I was the bread winner, I just have to accept that I will pay child support. He is seeking child support from the point of separation, 15 months ago. He just told me that he filed his taxes and he made no money last year, as in zero income. When I did the math, assuming that he made $15,000 last year, I figured that I would owe him $700 a month. It very well be more if he really made no income (must be depreciation, write-offs because there was some $ coming in). If they make me pay for the last 15 months at $700 a month, that is $10,500 that I will have to pay him. I don't know if they will allow me to make payments or if I will have to figure out how to pay it all in a lump sum. Plus I will have to make the regular support payments each month on top of that.
Since he has no money I have to pay for most of
my daughter's expenses, plus maintain a household in one of the most expensive places in the country to live. I feel like I need to get another job, but don't want to add to my income until the child support is set by the court. I have a pretty good job, but there is never enough money. Since the separation, I have had around $3500 in car repair bills. My car is 10 years old and there are continual problems.
I feel like it's so hopeless. Not sure what I'm looking for here, just wanted to get it off my chest I guess.