I should probably just put this here

**thespinnychick** · 12-13-2007, 08:32 AM

I posted this in the introductions but after reading some of the posts here I figured it probably fit here better.

I'm here because through a bad divorce, a big move, and 16 months of car trouble we are flat busted. We have no credit left, no savings left, no emergency fund left and I spent 4 hours on the side of the highway yesterday in sub-zero temperatures. Now we will have another 1000$ repair bill.

I was supposed to start school in January and now I don't know that I ever will. Thing seem pretty bleak and pretty disappointing right now. I'm 37 years old and I feel like I'm running out of time. One of my greatest fears has always been to be old and poor. It looks like that is where I'm headed and I don't know how to stop this.

I've applied for a couple jobs that pay a little more, have a few more hours than my current position, I've taken extra work (cleaning, pet care). We dont' live extravagently. We live almost like we're on welfare. All our money is going to bills and we both work hard. We don't even make bad wages...sub-middle class, but not too bad. It seems like we are working so hard and getting further and further behind.

I'm a frugal girl by nature. I make all our bread, I mend our clothes, I can and freeze and do oamc. I can't tell you the last time I've owned a new peice of clothing (except underwear - but I've made most of that too!!)

I'm at the end of my rope. I am absolutely hating the christmas season and finding no joy in it... just more obligations that I can't meet. I haven't paid my bills in 2 months now. They are going to start yelling soon.

We have two pets, one of them is a cockatoo. I cross my fingers all the time that nothing happens to him because I can't afford avian vet care right now.

I'm walking around feeling like I'm going throw up most of the time.

I'm here because I no longer know what to do.

I have to say reading your posts helps me feel not quite so alone in it.

**Cricket1** · 12-13-2007, 08:45 AM

First of all, welcome. All the people here are wonderful. I'm sorry that you're going through such tough times right now. Do you have children (and if so--can you get WIC)? Have you talked to the bill collectors and explained how things are?

I hope things start to look up for you soon. Take care.

**JustMegan79** · 12-13-2007, 08:46 AM

I am so sorry youre feeling this way. I completely understand. We are not even middle class , SO is in school full time and I wait tables and its the off season here so Im making zilch. On Tuesday I worked 12 hours (double) and left the building with 30 dollars. I almost cried. Im working 7 days a week to make 250 dollars if Im lucky.

We moved here for his school, and its hard. I find myself disliking the Holidays this year. We cant afford to go home and i couldnt get off anyway. Everyone is everywhere buying all sorts of things, the traffic is insane and like you, I find it creates more obligations I cannot meet.

So I feel alone, and tired, and poor and Im just ill with it all right now. But I try to stay positive, SO is doing wonderful in school and since he decided to go back at 30 , I am so proud of him. I suspended my schooling to come down here with him, and planned on transferring here. Well I cant afford the tuition and refuse to get another loan.

We want to get married.....and probably wont for a while. Unless something drastic happens. Like a miracle.

So I feel your pain, its a sickening feeling in the stomach isnt it?

I will have you in my thoughts today. Let us count our blessings this morning.

Megan

**McD** · 12-13-2007, 08:57 AM

I've always heard that if you are at the end of your rope---to tie a knot and hold on tight.

I'm sorry that you are going through all of this.

You came to the right place for motivation and support and encouragement.

Keep your head up, as best you can!

**yonksgirl** · 12-13-2007, 09:16 AM

Welcome! I am glad you found us! How much longer does SO have in school? Hopefully after that you two will be alot better off! I would also start to plan now how you are going to save money during the spring and summer months when you are making great tips, to carry you threw the winter. We are all here for you!

**monkeymia** · 12-13-2007, 09:24 AM

Welcome to the Village, sorry you are having a hard time.

Read up on all the tips here, ask questions and we will tryt o help you out as much as we can.

**mommy4ever** · 12-13-2007, 09:25 AM

I'm sorry you're feeling the pinch. I can understand being middle class and not making it. Everything in Canada is heavily taxed.

A few things to consider.

Can you take in an exchange student? This could help stretch the budget.

Look around to see if you have a WECAN this is a coop where you can do a group buy for produce and/or meat. It's inexpensive and can really help stretch the budget.

Utilities, can you pay a little on each? I find most companies in Canada are ok with that, simply tell them that you are trying, but things are tight. It's cold so no one will shut your power or gas until spring, so you have time.

You sew, can you make a saleable product? When we lived in the country, I supplemented dh income by sewing and selling online. I sold cloth diapers then, but there are a tonne of things out there that could be sold. Put on Ebay or Etsy, and you could start making a little.

Can you consider public transportation, and just let the vehicle sit for now? It's difficult initially, but I know alot of people with no vehicle. It means no insurance, no gas, no maintenance. The savings makes a bus pass look nominal, and in timing inconvenience tolerable.

Can you do evening childcare? Lots of people need care in the evenings, and no one wants to do it. I'm do childcare, no evenings or weekends, but many have jobs that require evenings and are stuck. You could make a decent amount doing that. Or weekends. Weekend care is a premium as well.

i know if anything happened where dh couldn't work, I'd provide care 24/7, but people requiring the nights and weekends would pay premium. Right now I"m making enough to pay ALL our bills, just no extras, and i"m home. Dh take home is just a little more than me, his gross is way more though..lol.

Look into a community kitchen. THey help stretch the food budget.

Go down to vinegar and baking soda for cleaning. Vinegar for fabric softener.

I don't know what social programs are available in BC, but there must be something to help out, even a one time.

Some people will post their bills, fixed and credit, and income and others might see where to trim the fat, where you didn't.

OH, it's ok to postpone Christmas for you and SO. if you don't have the money to gift, then DON'T. If you really feel that you HAVE to, make something. You can make some great pot holders from recycled jeans and other fabric scraps. Fun door stops using scraps and rice. Heating pads with rice. Nothing pricey, and good chance you already have some fabric in small pieces that would work.

**dianne9106** · 12-13-2007, 09:37 AM

You are not alone, most of us have been there and done that at one point in our lives. Big Hugs to you. Perhaps post your budget here and maybe we can help you find the money to help you get by until things clear up. You may even be able to go to a local church or organization that can help you along until you get on your feet. It is so worth asking about and looking into. I wouldn't worry much with the season - if you have children explain it to them and maybe buy them just a little something. Celebrating the holidays is not for everyone and sometimes you just have to dig down deep to get through it. Please don't give up and just take it one day at a time - don't look and see what bad can happen, just keep moving forward. Take care and you have all of us pulling for you!

Dianne

**thespinnychick** · 12-13-2007, 09:47 AM

Thanks for all the support!

I don't have children - of that I'm thankful at this time. I grew up poor and it's no picnic.

We probably won't ever see middle class... according to the cbc we would need to be making about 92k a year.

I've been making things... mostly trading them for food. I know someone who hunts so I made him some good wool/alpaca socks for a big bag of venison, teddybears for salmon etc... I'm working so much that I don't have time to make much to sell. Luckily I work graveyards and can get some crafting/knitting done once my work chores are done.

We don't qualify for social assistance or really, any assistance. We make too much money. What's killing us is the 3 lemons we bought this year and tried to keep on the road so that we could continue to get to work. Finally we bucked up, bought a new car -warranty and everything for very little a month so that we wouldn't have another 'worry car'...and then the old one started to go.

No public transit. We're too rural and I work an hour away from where I live. Moving is not an option. We rent a trailer (a nice one) for a very decent price, but cannot take in a roommate or student etc according to our rental agreement. Because we have a large bird we don't clean with anything other than dishsoap, vinegar, bkg soda and water anyway. the fumes would kill the poor thing.

I do appreciate all the suggestions though.

Thanks for the support. It is a sickening feeling.

-Megan (the other one)

**HappyMama** · 12-13-2007, 10:29 AM

Megan,

Welcome to the village. I am so sorry you are going through such a time now. Just remember it is always darkest before the dawn. Been there so I know how you feel. I will keep you in my prayers today. Once SO is done with school then hopefully he will have a great job, hang in there.

Angel

**mommy4ever** · 12-13-2007, 10:33 AM

Hmmm....
Here in Alberta, there's a program for the deer, elk and moose that are seized from poachers. The meat doesn't go to waste, for the cost of butchering(approx $75) you can have a mass amount of meat for the season/year. I'd look into it. It happens all the time everywhere, I'd imagine BC has a program as well. I'd decide what I need, and then look at trading the rest for other things.
Can you ride share?

The only other thing I can suggest is post your info and see if we can offer an outsider view to help you to tighten up the budget.

If it takes 92K to be considered middle income, then we're low income as well, with 4 kids..lol.

**jamie79** · 12-13-2007, 08:11 PM

Welcome. I think we have all felt like that at one time or another. Hang on things will get better even when they dont seem like they will

**Drgnfly423** · 12-13-2007, 09:15 PM

Hi and welcome. I just wanted to say please, ask questions, we are all here to help and support you! You will get some great advice here...it has helped me through some tough times, too.

**thespinnychick** · 12-14-2007, 06:36 AM

Thanks everyone. Yesterday I just couldn't get that sick feeling out of my stomach. I've got a bit better handle on things today.

BC doesn't have a program like Alberta does, at least not on the south coast. I found it much easier to be poor in the bush though. It's true.

I applied for two more jobs.

We'll see.

I know we can trim from the budget. I know it. But I'm not the only in the house. My partner says "I've worked all my life and deserve to spend money sometimes too". I'm trying really hard to talk her into a budget. otherwise it's just me. I think that she has the idea that a budget means never being able to do anything nice. I'll keep working.