my husband's identity has been stolen

**Hannahs mom** · 01-23-2008, 03:42 PM

My husband just called me and said that he had our banker check his credit report. Turns out that someone with the same name (that we also casually know) has stolen his identity! There is a mortgage that is WAAAAAAY delinquint along with a couple of personal loans. We've got a list of all these places and plan to start calling tonight. Has anyone here had to deal with this?

To make matters worse, my husband also found out about some credit cards that I have and owe on. I feel horrible- he knew about them when we opened them up( joint accounts), but has since forgotten about them. He didn't seem real mad about it, and said that he would pay them off here in the next month or two. But, I feel like dirt. To make matters worse, I have other CC's that are in my name that he doesn't know about. I don't think I'm going to tell him about the other ones - does this make me even worse of a wife? His finances are in No way hurt by me having these cards. He makes much more money than I do and is able to pretty much buy what he wants. I see my CC's as my problem that I need to fix.

**Holly** · 01-23-2008, 03:46 PM

My OP. Don't hide anything from each other in a marriage...
Hope you all work it out OK.

**jamie79** · 01-23-2008, 04:00 PM

To hide the c.c from him I think does not bode well for the state of your marriage

**mom2matty** · 01-23-2008, 04:03 PM

First

on the identity theft......I hope you are able to get it all worked out!!

I have to agree with the other posters.....don't hide the cc's....not a good idea at all. Get everything out in the open!!

Good Luck!!

**wulong32** · 01-23-2008, 04:05 PM

I wouldnt hide the cc debt from my hubby, and yes I have had my identity stolen. It sucks, but financial companies are really good about helping you out these days, its so common.

**CristiK** · 01-23-2008, 04:10 PM

I believe in marriage "two become one" ....hubby should know about the credit cards. Have you put a freeze on the credit reporting companies so that they issue no more credit until this is resolved? It is free if your identity has been stolen. You have to do a temporary unfreeze if you personally need to buy anything but it will stop anybody else.

**monkeymia** · 01-23-2008, 06:06 PM

Im very sorry that your DH's identity was stolen, i hope your banking and financial consultants are working to get this worked out for you and DH.

I too think you need to tell DH about the CCs. I would hate to have something hidden from me by my DH.

**annymoll** · 01-23-2008, 06:20 PM

I think it is dishonest to hide things in a marriage. I think it was dishonest for you to obtain credit cards that your DH does not know you have. I am sorry about the ID theft- this crime is becoming very scary.

**leezza** · 01-23-2008, 06:41 PM

Don't forget to make a police report: this is a fraud case also.

I agree with the others here don't hide the CCs from your hubby......

JMHO,
leezza

**IntlMom** · 01-23-2008, 06:51 PM

come back and tell us how it goes after you tell hubby about your cc debts......don;t hide it from him.
I think I speak for all of us when I say we will be eager to hear how it turns out.

**Holly** · 01-23-2008, 07:31 PM

We're here for you....Prayers headed your way..

**sdrjeolsen** · 01-23-2008, 07:34 PM

Sorry his identity was stolen, that stinks! Hope you get it worked out soon. I wouldn't hide the CCs either. Good luck, let us know how it goes.

**became4347** · 01-23-2008, 07:35 PM

I do want to add that you should hold off judgement of this other person with the same name. This actually happens a lot! Some glitch, and presto-someone has gotten someone's chocolate in another's peanut butter so to speak! I know of someone that this happened to and it was NOT theft-just a mistake.

Seriously, do not accuse this other guy yet (even if it's only in your mind). He also may have no idea that his information is on your DH's report. But you may be right. I'm just saying don't jump to conclusions.

First, you should always call your local police to file a report. That should be step one. Then you should call all 3 credit bureaus. Calling all the individual accounts should be done last. Surprised that your banker did not advise you on what to do.

As for hiding CCs, uh...come on, you need to tell him. By the way, was there a reason why he was asking the banker to check his credit? If it is something for a mortgage or 2nd mortgage or something big like that, then your credit very well could affect whatever he is trying to do. Be honest. If he loves you, he will understand. Good luck! And please do let us know how it turns out!

**frugalwanttobe** · 01-23-2008, 07:59 PM

I am so sorry you are going through all of this.

**atjalsma** · 01-23-2008, 08:37 PM

You should also check your homeowners policy to see if it states anything about identity theft. Some policies cover helping you recover it, I know met life and lots of travelers policies have it, and nationwide has it as an add on you may have taken? They also cover lost wages if you miss work while taking care of this....

Good luck!