Argh and i thought we were tight.

**qtkitty** · 04-20-2008, 04:42 AM

Well Joe's mom went back home the April 18th... she decided she would like to move in with her friend ... which is a good thing because we were trying to figure out how to tell her she just couldn't move in with us.

A few days before i had the baby i started maternity leave.. and my mom came down ect. Then i got to see more of what was going on when i wasn't home. OMG!! She would just sit at the kitchen table all day long playing her little electronic poker game ignoring everyone and thing except to make comments. Constant sometimes rude comments. When i had the baby the first 4 days were really rough Ellen was constantly up crying fussing. And i was hearing comments.. no offers of help.. just constant comments from stop pinching that baby to having fun.

At the baby's first Dr appointment when she weighed in a pound less then her birth weight and the dr said to suppliment with formula and her saying she was calling Dss to come visit out home to show me how to breast feed and check on the baby( which turns out she had miss comunicated but still i felt like i was being watched).... i sort of lost it for a few days she still didn't help.

Joe and her had come up with an agreement one would cook one night and the other the next. The first night she was to cook Joe cut up the veggies for her and she didn't even cook the meat before saying it was to much for her. So they changed it to he would cook and she would wash the dishes. After the first meal Joe started cooking all the dishes he used to make the meal and then we were using paper plates and dishes were sitting in the sink for days unwashed.

When she had come down she had said that she was going to pay for her way back.. and when she got her money she even said she was putting X amount back to go home.. well she went to walmart with Joe and comes back and makes a comment about that she spent the money she had set back and asked if we had money set back to take her back. I was just taken aback and peeved. Her knowing that we were on a fixed income because of me being on maternity leave and pulling that. I said no we don't because you said you were payng for your way back. She goes oh well if i would have known i wouldn't have spent it all. Of course Joe goes ohh we have X amount set aside ( which we didn't it was money my mom had given for bills .. so i was LIVID)

One morning i had went with the baby to the baby's room and fell to sleep with her...joe had had a sezure and fell out of bed... joes mom was in the kitchen and he had called out for help but she didnt hear him ..later the alarm clock went off in our room.. his mom went turned it off .. said Joe 2x.. then went mumbling up the hall about he could get himself up.. went got her self a cup of coffee and went outside to smoke. I had woken up when she had went down the hall and hadn't known Joe had been calling for help til he told me.

It goes on and on .. but basically it really seemed like she didn't want to be here. What totally made me not want her back was when she wanted me to drive her back home the 16th.. asked to go earlier like monday. I was like well driving you and everything depends on Ellens Dr visit. She goes well tell the dr you have to take me back to virgina and you will be back next week. First i had had a C section... Second with dr visits 2 X a week and home visits and getting blood drawn several times because levels weren't right and she wanted us to just tell off the dr and pack up and travel 6 hours. By the last week and a half she was sleeping a lot and hardly talked to us. Last 2 days she slept all day and night.

It Turned out the Dr wanted more blood work done on the next appointment and wasn't sure if she would need us to come in early, so we sent her home on the bus.

She seemed okay with it at first then she wasn't okay with it.. then she had a bad trip home and has complained about it in detail to both of us and informed us that she is never traveling by bus again. * sighs *

**qtkitty** · 04-20-2008, 04:53 AM

Oh yeah... and another thing that gets me....she is making more a month then me and Joe put together.... why can't she get her fiances under control?

She has a new car $400 a month with FULL coverage no deducable which is almost $100. Then she is tithing to her church in the range of almost $400 a month.. WAY WAY more then the 10% tith standard plus volunteering. Well then with her rent and meds and things she has nothing left.

Then with the manor she spent the extra money she had at our house, because we weren't asking her to pay for anything. She just up and spent on random things candy, soda, Dvd's instead of saving it.

**Michelle68** · 04-20-2008, 12:30 PM

Wow, I can't believe what she put y'all through after you were sweet enough to have her come stay with you. I'm sorry it worked out that way, but I still feel you did the right thing , trying to take care of her as you did. It's too bad she doesn't recognize that. At least it gave you and Joe an opportunity for getting a closer look at how she handles her finances and why she is probably in the situation in which you found her. It's a shame she doesn't have a better handle on her money, but there's only so much you and Joe can do. You've already gone above and beyond in helping her out and now it's time to take care of yourself, Joe and little Ellen (who, BTW, is absolutely beautiful!).

--Michelle

**LuvMyHubby** · 04-20-2008, 02:09 PM

I'm sorry it didn't work so well with Joe's mom but you are both wonderful people for trying.

Big congrats on the baby, she is absolutely beautiful.

**larabelle** · 04-20-2008, 04:51 PM

I am so sorry that Joe's Mom put you all through so much!!
You really went out of your way to accomodate her.
Well, now she is gone so enjoy your new baby!!

Ellen is beautiful...thanks for sharing her with us!!

**favesis37** · 04-21-2008, 08:30 AM

God Bless you and good luck

**lwlynch** · 04-21-2008, 08:51 AM

Check out and see if there is a meals on wheels program for her. I did this for my husbands mother and atleast she got one good balanced meal.

**Ceashels** · 04-21-2008, 09:10 AM

I'm so sorry you had to go thru something like that, especially when YOU, JOE, and Ellen could have used the extra hands and love and assistance. You are both good people for trying to help her and now she needs to help herself.

Blessings and congratulations to you.

**cab54** · 04-21-2008, 09:54 AM

You and Joe are good people.

**dianne9106** · 04-21-2008, 11:23 AM

I am sorry things didn't work out - but I am glad that you caught on to how things were before everyone became to involved. Sometimes in-laws can be funny.