Grown Children Kith

**wanderinggrandma** · 01-05-2008, 05:25 PM

We have 3 DD's, grown, married, and until recently 2 lived too far away, one very close to home. Well, the last DD moved to Houston for grad school. I had a full blown pity party, which isn't my style, but I couldn't help it.

So I sucked it up, pasted on the happy face, helped her pack, clean their house so they could rent it, helped drive her car and very large dog following the moving van to Houston.

It helps me to see their homes and communities and know some of the places they talk about.

It also helps that Philidelphia, Ft. Lauderdale and Houston (where DD's live) are hubs for SW Airlines.

DH told me to make a 3 state visit quarterly, but take my dog. Oh, yeah, I got a pup to take the edge off the quiet, empty house. It does get easier with time, but I miss the crazy days of all three of them home.

**EmilyD** · 01-05-2008, 05:47 PM

I gave birth to 4 children, 34, 32, 24, 22 ... the boy is 24 and in the army. I also have 7 1/2 blood grandchildren.

I am the opposite most of you. It was a blessing for each to strike out on their own .. I had children in the house for 30 years ... I was ready for some time to myself.

Their vacations here (son comes on leave at Christmas for several weeks and daughters usually make it here during that time) are a whirlwind of crying babies, cooking meals, cleaning up after them *sigh* and no privacy.

I much prefer the one at a time visits but most of the time they don't happen.

Six years ago, we lost the home the children grew up in (voluntarily surrendered it during bankrupsty) and rented senior places until we found our new home in Nov. It is also in a senior community, so cannot have a long term "children" under 55 here. It works out well. I find it makes them be responcible for themselves instead of relying on us to raise their children.

I am mostly disabled .. not in a wheelchair yet but have a lot of problems getting around and taking care of myself .. would never be able to care for grandkids.

I do miss them ... and wonder what it would be like if they lived closer and could have known my grandkids as they grew .. but ...

I do gets lots of hugs from ds24 when he is home and 2 Iraq tours seem to make him appreciate home more then the girls.

**C@rol** · 01-08-2008, 04:29 PM

I also belong to this kith. Wow!
I think this is 5 now. lol

My two sons are 33 and 27. Both have now
graduated college and moved to different states.

At first I was very sad and felt very lonely and I
still do sometimes. But just as the above poster
stated I have to remind myself of the reason
we raised them as we did and it is wonderful to
see all of your hard parenting work come to
fruition.

Yes it gets sad sometimes but me and dh are
like two kids again doing whatever we want
whenever we want.

It gets better.

**tereansan** · 05-31-2011, 10:10 PM

I have 2 grown kids, the oldest, my son is 32, he lives on his own and has his own window washing business, my youngest, my daughter, she is 26, we live in Oklahoma, and she went to college in North Hampton, Ma, and now she is living in Japan and teaching over there, last year she was in South Korea teaching !! This about drove me nuts, but I realized it was her life and I didn't want to interfere, me and hubby are enjoying our quiet home, and doing lots of stuff together !!

**newstudent** · 06-01-2011, 10:11 AM

Originally Posted by mikandmari

Anyone here with kids who are grown, or almost grown?

I'm feeling really blue lately. I have a terrific son, 19 years old, who has always been very mature and sensible, and an absolute delight to spend time with. Well... he's fallen in love, and slowly moved into his girlfriend's parents house. They have more space than we do here. He visits, but it's not the same with him gone at night. Me & him were late night people, while my husband is always asleep by 10:00. The house is so quiet at night now that I get teary-eyed without his company.

I have a daughter who is 17. She has always been a social butterfly, and has a friend right down the street with a big family. She loves the busy, chaotic atmosphere of this family and is always there (along with most of the other neighborhood kids... it's the 'local hangout').

I'm feeling so unneeded anymore.

How did you guys get through this?

Big hug from me. I know what you are going through. My son 19 spends less and less time at home and 3 to 4 times a week spends the night over at his girl friends parents house. So our situation is similar.
My daughter spends time with friends. My DH is like yours most of the time or not around all together since his job has him traveling a lot.
Now I don't want to be scary---but I hope you have friends in the area and a job or school or something. I did not have job,school or a lot of friends around since we are not from here----it was a mayor depression. Find people to be around,being alone alot is bad. It's never a substitute for your kids but it fills the void.

**Uniwolf** · 09-15-2011, 03:42 PM

I guess that I belong in this Kith

oldest DD is 27, only son is 24 and youngest DD is 23, and although she is kind of moved back in she is seldom here. She works 2 jobs, trying to get debts that she ran up on her own and with a roommate that moved out on her. I loved it when they were all out on their own.

I could set something somewhere and come back for it 2 or 3 days later and it was still there. Dishes stayed done, fridge stayed stocked, bathroom stayed clean .... it was awesome.
And best of all, oldest DD has the 2 joys of my life. My B boy who is the cake thief that is my avatar and not quite 2 and Ms. Evie who is not quite a month old.
Grandchildren are the MOST awesome thing

**krbshappy71** · 09-15-2011, 04:15 PM

My daughter turned 18 on Monday. Haven't seen her since. Granted its only been a couple of days, its just odd. The house is REALLY quiet.

**pollypurebred39** · 09-15-2011, 05:54 PM

Oh krbshappy, that would unnerve me. My oldest is 22, still lives at home with no expectation of leaving anytime soon. It's rare that I don't know where he's at every second of the day and night. But then he's either at work, with his girlfriend or over at relatives. He's rather a homebody and goes with the familiar in life, not very adventurous. Never was like most teens or young adults, always seemed like he was ready to settle down and get married from 18 on, maybe younger. Even told me not that long ago that emotionally he's ready to settle down and raise a family.

Seems like I brought him home just yesterday.

**krbshappy71** · 09-15-2011, 06:27 PM

Felt kinda blue after I posted that so I decided to go see her at work, it's a food place so picked up dinner. She said she was planning to be home Saturday to hang out with me, yay! How is it I couldn't wait to have everyone out of the nest and now want them back? Lol!

Well I don't reaaaalllly want them back, but I do miss them.

**mh3rdwheel** · 09-15-2011, 07:54 PM

Originally Posted by mikandmari

Anyone here with kids who are grown, or almost grown?

I'm feeling really blue lately. I have a terrific son, 19 years old, who has always been very mature and sensible, and an absolute delight to spend time with. Well... he's fallen in love, and slowly moved into his girlfriend's parents house. They have more space than we do here. He visits, but it's not the same with him gone at night. Me & him were late night people, while my husband is always asleep by 10:00. The house is so quiet at night now that I get teary-eyed without his company.

I have a daughter who is 17. She has always been a social butterfly, and has a friend right down the street with a big family. She loves the busy, chaotic atmosphere of this family and is always there (along with most of the other neighborhood kids... it's the 'local hangout').

I'm feeling so unneeded anymore.

How did you guys get through this?

I feel the same, my youngest is 19 ( two weeks ago) and a daughter 24 married with two sons: Kain and Evan., they seem to aonly need me when the need money, but otherwise it seems that her husbands' side of the family is more important (I get along with his side of the family, long time family relationship). I suck it up and help only because of my grandsons, (neither parents work and on welfare).

I try not to let it get to me, me and DH will go and do something if only to go for a 15 minute ride.

**cjmobxnc** · 09-16-2011, 08:41 PM

I just realized that I now belong in this kith. My DS is 25, has been living in Iowa for over a year and got married on 9-10-11. DD is 22 and living with her BF in Va Beach. I'm in NE NC. I was also gifted with 2 DGKs when DS go married. DGS is 13 and DGD is 10. He married a girl older than him. DD calls me daily and her and BF come down once a week to visit.

**fernykins** · 09-17-2011, 10:45 AM

I would love some alone time.....lol It's never gonna happen. I had 6 children. They all left home when they turned 16. Three of them joined the Army, 1 joined the Navy as an Officer and 2 did something different with their lives. when I started getting sick my #2 son and his boys moved back home. During that time my husband left me becausr I was sick. My #2 son lived with me for 5 years, he wanted to get married again and dson#3 needed a place to live with his family so he moved in and #2 moved out. He's in school full time. Becaused the last time I went to the hospital(last year) nobody thinks I can live by myself. If I'm to quite don son#3 is checking on me all the time, to make sure I'm ok. Which is nice but it sure does bug me. My oldest 2 grandsons 16 & 14 are calling me to make sure I'm ok. Its a nice feeling to be so loved but sometimes I would love to be alone. lol
Fern

**melodys** · 09-18-2011, 10:22 AM

Count me in

I dropped off my 21 year old daughter to her last year of college yesterday. It is wonderful to see her being independent and taking on adult responsibilities. I miss her, and I am proud of her too.

My 17 year old son is talking about moving out after he graduates from high school next year.

I alternate between being happy that my kids are growing up and are doing the things they are supposed to do at this age, and being a bit sad that this stage of my life is almost over, and wondering what the future holds next.

**cjmobxnc** · 09-19-2011, 03:39 PM

Welcome to the family, melodys. Glad to see some new faces.

**Emtnest** · 09-19-2011, 08:06 PM

With hard economic times and all we got our daughter back with a hubby and 3 kids...went from an empty nest to to a really full nest again...it's hard to make ends meet with 7 in the house now, even though they help out and are working. I loved the quiet times, now they are few and far between....and no nakey anymore....