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19K views 328 replies 11 participants last post by  britbunny 
#1 ·
Hi everyone and anyone,

How are things in your world at the minute?

Things are generally good with me, there is still some uncertainty about DH's job - but his boss has been discussing some long term projects with him so it points to his job being safe but you never know. I'm also looking for a job, but at the minute I'm looking for something I want to do rather than just any old job, but obviously there's not all that much about just now.

But other than work everything is brilliant. We all love the new house and the new area, getting out and about lots. Plus we have the bonus of quince and blackberry bushes in the garden *yum yum*
 
#89 ·
Dutchie-Have a lovely time in Zurich. Hope you get a chance to site see a bit and visit w/ old friends from the conference. Everyone is always asking why I don't go w/ DH. I think when the kids are out of the house I may occasionally but it's altogether too much trouble right now. And of course there always the money issue.
 
#90 ·
When the kids were younger it was a LOT more difficult for me to get away but when it was important for me to go with him, then my parents in law came and babysat the kids.
Now I can go whenever it is necessary - it does mean some organization before I leave and a massive tidy up and laundry catch up when I get back but it is altogether a lot easier.
Not of all of the time, but sometimes my ticket and hotel is paid for by the company. This is one of those times which is nice.
There is a partner program which I will be participating in on one of the 3 days (also paid for). I never go on all of them because I also like to explore new cities by myself.
What is also nice is that an old friend of mine just moved to Zurich and I hope to see her when I'm there.
 
#91 ·
Dutchie-Hope your friend takes you to some local secrets. Thats always my favorite. That out of the way restaurant or scenic spot. I always talk to locals for info. Not that my travel is any where as extensive as your seems to be.
Trying to get myself moving today. I'd like to go to the farm market before DD goes to her jewelry open house for work. And of course cleaning of some sort. Fall is coming fast here. Have to inventory this like leaf bags and furnace filters. SEE an exciting life all in all.lol.
I'm just groggy after all the heavy food last night. We went to a local place called "The farmhouse" -Canadian cheese soup and a stacked slow cooked beef sandwich. So delicious and highly uncalled for on a diet. Cheating over. so veg/ and fruit mkt.
Well I am gabby and drifty for sure today. Everyone have a pleasant and peaceful weekend,take care.
 
#92 ·
we're back from Zurich

I have so much to tell.
Firstly we didn't have internet except on the computers already present in the conference center (didn't want to pay € 35 per day for it in the hotel).
The keyboard in Switzerland is slightly different to ours. It took me ages even to find the @. So after typing an email to Fiori and finding out that I had been typing gibberish I corrected it - took me ages to find everything.

However, I had a great and a not so great time. The city is nice but (sorry if I offend anyone) I also found it a little dull. The people are extremely friendly and can't do enough for you (except the guy that brought us our coffee/tea at the airport on the way home - OMG what a miserable person).
The lunch with my friend was WONDERFUL!
We met up at 11.30 am and when she dropped me at the hotel 4 hours later I realised that we had talked non-stop. It was so great to see her again.

That evening we were out to dinner with colleagues of Ton and later I discovered that I had food poisoning (I'll spare you the details). I don't where it came from but I have a vague idea (dinner not the lunch).
Anyhow, after the worst was over I stayed in the hotel till we left 1 1/2 days later. I did eat some light food from room service but the only thing that I wanted was to get home. Thankfully I am feeling a lot better now and gklad to be home.

I mentioned on here that I would LOVE to have Fiori here for a weekend but that I was afraid to do it because of her homesickness. However we have a had a good talk with her and we said to her that we would love for her to come home for a weekend but that we were afraid to do it. She replied that the difference now is that she has settled and knows her way around and the job that she is doing so it's not strange for her and that had been the problem in the beginning - a kind of fear of the unknown.

So for my birthday - instead of a party and loads of presents I am getting our daughter home for the weekend next weekend. I have warned her that she had better not get all upset about going back to London because that will spoil it for her (and for us too). She has said that she will be fine.
So
I CAN HARDLY WAIT - FIORI IS COMING HOME NEXT WEEKEND!!!!!!
(Can you tell I'm excited?)

She got the day off on Friday and will fly into Rotterdam at around 11 am on Fri and will fly back on Sun at around 5 pm.
Best birthday present that I ever had.
Ton did tell me that because I was willing to not give a party he had wanted to buy me a new computer/laptop (which is really badly needed - not a want but a definite need) but now that Fiori is coming we can't do the computer.
However as I said to him, there's always our anniversary next week - he laughed - and Christmas - once again he laughed (we never do big things at Christmas).
So next year I may get a new computer for my birthday if this one doesn't explode on me before then.

One good thing about being sick in Zurich, I wasn't tempted to go to the shops. The stores there are VERY VERY expensive - well actually everything in Switzerland in very expensive. The only thing that I would have liked to buy was chocolate but we got a HUGE bag of Swiss chocolates in the welcome pack of the conference. My friend paid for lunch as a treat since I had brought her some Dutch goodies. So I spent absolutely nothing while there.

One thing that I have to tell about our trip was about the opening evening.
It was an over the top evening with everyone in beautiful gala clothes, all the champagne you could possibily ever want, amazing food, good company (got to meet a lot of the folks that I had met before at the previous conferences - from all over the world) plus something that I had eaten before but didn't like because they had used inferior chocolate and that was fresh fruit to dip in a chocolate fountain. They had used the best chocolate in Switzerland and it was to die for. I have NEVER ever tasted anything like it. I had 2 small skewers of fresh fruit with some of the chocolate but believe me I could have eaten the whole serving plate. It was AMAZING!!!

So we're back (glad to be too) and looking forward to next weekend.

How is everyone?
 
#93 ·
Blimey, that was an eventful trip! And how exciting for you that you're have such a special birthday weekend :)

I'm fine. We spent the weekend window shopping for house things and now have a very long list of wants! I's very cold and autumnal here and for the first time ever I'm considering a tumble dryer. I don't really want one but it looks like it would be a good idea. I have started a blog, and erm, I think that's all.
 
#94 ·
Moring All,
Extremely nippy here late at night and early morning. We've pulled all of DD's tomatoes out as we are getting frosts. I bought pumpkins and decorated for Halloween already.We went to go apple picking but the line was enormous. I will get back on a weekday. I actually prefer to pick w/ the ladies in the week than the weekend families anyway. Not a fan of chaos.

Not nearly as exciting here but things are settling in. DS achieved his drivers license. DH is going to New Jersey today as part of his new job section. NO more Bermuda-Hooray!!
And DD is doing well learning nail arts. She must achieve 100 hrs. by state law before she can work on actual people. However,salon clients are already bugging her to hurry up because they like her work. (she been there less than month so it's very complimentary). So we cross our fingers she has found her niche.

Dutchie-what a great adventure indeed. And my frugal hat goes off to you for spending NO money-amazing. So sorry to it was partly because of food poisoning though. Glad you DD is settling in and can come home w/ out getting so upset. Sounds like she's maturing already. Good to see all is settling for you too.

BB-can't imagine not having a dryer. I can't get into line drying in our climate (and w/ my naughty dogs). Glad you had fun window shopping for furnishings. I can get myself in serious trouble that way. I got lucky and bought all my furniture at an auction from a furniture store that was closing. We had used hand-me-downs for at least 10 years before that like college students!lol.
 
#95 ·
Well Fiori came across and we had THE most wonderful weekend.

However, I am feeling SO VERY guilty about having her come over for the weekend. She was in such a state when she went back (me too) that I felt like a total jerk for bringing her here.
I thought that she could handle it.
She said that I mustn't feel guilty because even though she was upset, it had been worth it.

She had a flight delay of 2 hours even before she arrived.
We picked her up, came home, went for lunch at her favorite restaurant, went to the opticians (she had to get her eyes tested for new glasses and lenses), went grocery shopping (she loves doing this), had dinner, then she went out with her friends and a couple of her brothers, then she came home at 10.30 pm, collapsed in bed and she started sobbing. In between sobs she said she had missed her life here and how lonely it is in London for her.
Saturday Ton went golfing which gave her time to have a long lie, then we had breakfast, went back to the opticians, then to my parents in law, then she went out with her girlfriends (Ton and I went to a cruise exhibition in the Hague), we came home, had dinner, then she went to a birthday party near our house.

Sunday she couldn't sleep in so we just sat and chatted, we had breakfast, went to her 2nd oldest brother's new appartment, went to her team's hockey game so she could have a look for 20 minutes, then we went home, had lunch, packed her suitcase and brought her to the airport.
Whew!!
We both had a sobbing match (she started me off) at the airport. We cheered her up and said that she is now working from the one visitor to the other till she comes home for the weekend again (I know, I know but we are bringing her back for her birthday at the end of Nov.) Then she will be going back to London till Dec. 24th. Then she will be home over Christmas till Jan 2nd.
She will then come home for good mid-Jan.

Ton is going to be in London from Oct. 14 till Oct. 17th (partly for work so the flight is paid for by the company plus one night of the hotel).
Two really good friends of hers will be there around Halloween and Ton will be there (with me as well maybe) around Nov. 19th (this is also business so both our tickets will be paid plus the hotel).

So as you can see we had THE MOST HECTIC weekend but it was more than wonderful.

I don't even want to look too deeply at our finances since too much is happening at the moment including London of course. One good thing, for her trip home at the end of Nov. we found flights from the same airports for half price - saving us € 150.

Thankfully I have started teaching again part time.

For now, things are reasonably quiet (or is that asking for trouble by actually saying it) and should be for a couple of weeks till 3rd son will move back in.

So how have you all been and what you all been doing?
(((HUGS))))
 
#96 ·
One great thing is happening in London.

Have a look at my thread in general chat - 'sighted Johnny Depp'.
Some of the scenes of Pirates of Caribbean 4 are being shot at the university across the road from Fiori. She has seen him twice now.
 
#98 ·
Awww, that sounds like an emotional weekend, glad it was worth it though. And even though it's hard you can see that there are regular little breaks to see each other so it might help to make things more bearable.

The politics here might be starting to hot up, Labour have finally voted in a new leader so we'll see how that goes. and it is only 3 weeks before the government spending review and people will start to lose their jobs in earnest. There is talk of strikes, but I think lots of it is from one of the big union leaders - a real left winger. He wants a general strike, which isn't going to happen but maybe co-ordinated strikes will. Maybe that won't be until next year though when the cuts really start to hit everyone, not just those who are going to lose their jobs. We shall see. I don't know what it would take for people to be mobilised to take to the streets in this country now. The last time was for the Iraq war and no-one cared about that so who can say.

It's a worrying time. DH was meant to be finding out about his office restructure next week, but it has been delayed. Because the council have already made so many people redundant and there's so much rejuggling going on HR can't cope with all the work and so they've been out off for a while. In a way it's good as it means everyone will be in work for a few extra months, but on the downside, I'd rather know where we stand. Horrible, horrible times.

Having said that, everything is wonderful! Since we moved here we've been having a few struggles and things haven't been as good as usual between DH and I. But over the last week DH has had some weird kind of realisation and announced his priorities have been all wrong and now things will be different. I've heard it all before and was concerned it was just words, but he is like a different person which is amazing. We have had a fabulous week and I hope it stays like this - just like it used to be.

I am still a bit concerned about money of course so have decided to do more and spend less. I'm starting with decor for the house. I saw a beautiful print online and was shocked when I saw the price (£1500) and I thought to myself "I could do better than that" so I am! I am making a huge wall hanging for our lounge. I love embroidery but haven't made anything for ages. Someone has pointed me in the direction of a local shop where I can buy the basic batting and fabric and threads for less than £15 and then it's just my hard work to bring it together. I'm super excited about it and can't wait to get started. At the minute I just have a template taped to my kitchen table! So that should keep me quiet this winter (and beyond).

So, as you can see, a bit of a mixed bag for me!
 
#99 ·
Dutchie-wow what a whirlwind. Glad you were able to have a great time w/ your DD. Johnny Depp? DD would just die to see him !!

Britbunny-Glad to hear of a change of heart. Hope it lasts. (said the cynical women who has been married 25 years). Your art sound amazing. DD has all the creativity here I am afraid.

Here-DS got his license and is a pretty good driver.Thinks he know it all now of course.lol

-DH started his new govt. section.(all I can say for now). This week he is in New Jersey. Commonly called "The Armpit of America". Ironically,his relatives were from there and the office is across the street from his departed grandma's old apartment. He is very near "The Meadowlands" ,a giant sports complex. His family owned this land and during the Depression sold it. (it was swampland then). So this has been a fun sort of teasing for me. Saying me can never escape.lol He should be back on Sun.

As for me I have had a rather nasty flu. And have spent far too many hours watching videos and clipping coupons w/ my head spinning.Yuck. Looks to be about over-fingers crossed.

DD-is loving nail tech school and proving very talented. She will be able to do customers sometime in the next couple weeks as she already will have 100 hrs. in. Clients are already wanting her so thats very nice for her. I am still a bit sad about no college degree but supporting her choices as it is her life. She tried college for me so I have nothing to say about it as long as she can make a living happily w/ enough to support herself.
She is starting to look around again for a boyfriend. I must endure hours of how "hot" this or that guy is.lol Just glad she is moving on from the last loser. He looked so promising at first but don't they all!
Everyone have a great day!
 
#100 ·
Oooh flu, not nice, hope you're over that now.

:yippee::yippee::yippee: oooh those deep conversations about hot guys, I bet you can't wait! I understand how disappointed you must feel but at least she tried college and you never know, she might go back in a few years, these things happen. At least she has found something she enjoys doing and obviously has flair for.

I really do think the change of heart is here to stay. I think with DH's current job and the threat of redundancy he just got into a very serious professional mode and didn't switch it off when he got home. He also started to get his head turned by trinkets and thought he wanted to have lots of new things and overt status symbols. We've been spending time with people who have loads of cash and are very spendy so it's only natural. I'm not sure what happened but he just realised he was just having a keeping up with the Jones' moment and that none of that was real. I have a strong suspicion that it came from a conversation we had between one particular couple who "have it all" but are so far apart in their aspirations and world view they're pretty unhappy. So long and frustrating story short he remembered how fantastic his frugal, left-field, tiny musclewoman wife is, and how "doing" is better than "buying" and that's that.

He even apologised and said he was wrong for making me cry in the petshop when we were buying food for our bunnies and he said he didn't want any more when this pair have died. I think this came after the couple I just mentioned said they wanted a micropig... or a dog... or a baby... or a new house. *eyes roll out of head and across the floor*

So yeah, cynical as I am, I think the reality check really was real :jabber:
 
#101 ·
Britbunny-just ignore my jaded opinions on marriage. I am simply frustrated w/ my DH's maturity on money issues. He still doesn't always understand that "if you spend it on 1 thing you don't have it for another". We just went round about personal spend allowances for him (doubt he was thinking of me) after he agreed to pay tuition for DD,take on 2 sponcor kids,wants to tithe,says we need a new dishwasher,furnace, and 3rd car. I am just tired of being the only 1 that can do basic math.
So if your guy is getting it-praise the heck out of him. Mine gets it for awhile then it seems to escape him. sigh. Part of it is because he has NO idea what things like car ins. and groceries cost. I have shielded him all these years.lol. He always walks away when the bill totals at a store like he can't bear to watch. It is very funny on some levels and not so much on others. I will say he is not a greedy guy though just uninformed about how money works. Hate to trash him completely. He never tries to deny me anything. He just doesn't understand budgets. It's just that commonly when you have 2 people you have 2 diff. opinions on how things go. Admittedly,all these years I have had complete control as he had no interest because his job kept him fully occupied. And so I need to explains the "whys" of it all for the first time. Change is good?? I just feel a bit like the guard at the castle bridge. "Hey,who goes there, state your business!" regarding our finances. A lot of changes for me as of late. But i need to learn more patience. Something to work on I suppose. Hopefully not TMI.
 
#102 ·
Yeah, that must be such a huge frustration for you.

I think DH was just going through a bit of a mad phase and kind of decompressing. This sounds a bit pathetic but it all started last year when our bunny died. She was a free range house bunny and very much wanted to be part of everything. She would sit up on the sofa with us every night and just followed DH round all the time and was just like a little velvet person and everything revolved around her. So when she died it hit us sooooo hard. And I don't think we really got over it.

From 2004 to 2007 we spent the entire time paying of debt, so we were together all the time, at home, with Posh (the bunny) and so we were focused on the same thing. After that it was all about saving up to buy a car, so the same thing, at home, very focused and all that. So we bought the car in Sept 2008 and had loads of cash, everything was wonderful then Posh died and it just knocked us for six.

But then, we didn't have the constraint of always having to be at home for the bun or having to save every penny. So we went on holiday, bought loads of stuff and went out lots. And we just started to drift. Then DH got a new job an hours drive away so we spent less and less time together. So we thought when we sold our house and moved over here - to the seaside, where I've always wanted to be, everything would be amazing.

But all the stress threw everything back up and we could see huge cracks that had never been there before. And for the first time I understood when people say their life passed them by and they never knew how things had got to how they are. It was just like that. I was sharing a house with someone I didn't know and it was just awful. Then something ridiculous happened last week - we had the old heating system removed and that's when this weird bolt from the blue hit him. Maybe it was inhaling all that dust or something, I have no idea but now it's all back to how it was before with a nice focused plan for the future, long term savings, making sure we have savings to pay for a new kitchen and bathroom when the time comes. I don't know what it is, it's just like he's been hit over the head with a big book about what's important in life...
 
#103 · (Edited)
Oh my goodness what a lot is happening.

I heard yesterday that child benefits in the UK are going to be tackled and that so many people are up in arms.
I thought that Oct. 20th was the date for releasing the reforms?
Maybe they are doing it the way that our government does it, namely 'leaking' out things in advance so that the shock isn't too big when it is all finally presented.

Our government is still not installed. One of the parties in the possible coalition (Christian Democrats) is mostly having trouble with working with Mr. Wilders. I believe that they will discuss it ONCE AGAIN today. The whole country is getting sick of it all. Enough already, just do what is necessary and get governing.

Something that I had apparently missed and what hasn't been given a lot of coverage here is the raised terror alert in the UK (plus some other countries including the US).
Finally I saw it on our news, it was a minor news story - the tube strike in London got more coverage.

What you are wondering is the problem since if memory serves me correctly this happens every so often. Well, a part of the placement contract that Fiori has with her university is to contact the school if this kind of thing happens.

When you consider that most of the students of her year are abroad in varying places, they have received a LOT of emails about the raised terror alert.

Today the university board will be meeting to discuss the options. There is a possibility that she will have to come home. I said to her that she has to get guarantees from the school that she doesn't have to go back next year because there is no way in hell (sorry) that we will be doing this again next year.
I am EXTREMELY curious what they will say.

Our oldest son is continuing to keep us occupied and not in a nice way.
We had lent him money mid-Aug. to help him move back into his appartment (very complicated - don't ask). We had arranged with him that he would pay back € 500 per month till Dec. 31st. In Aug. he paid back € 100. Ton decided not to say anything hoping that he was 'finding his feet'. When Oct. 1st had arrived and we had heard nothing in between and no money had been transferred, Ton sent a text to him asking if he had forgotten the money. We got the reply, 'will not be repaying'. Ton is really upset especially since we have discovered that he is on vacation this week, abroad.

Another thing that is keeping us more than occupied is my parents in law.
Don't know if I wrote about this before but we are encountering some problems (health and otherwise) with my parents in law and now it seems to be escalating. It is really getting both of us down - more Ton than me since he has never really had any problems with his parents at all, ever.

They are both 81 and my father in law especially has had a LOT of major health problems since he was 58 when he had his first quadruple bypass.

Since then he has had multiple heart attacks, numerous bypasses and stents put in, has had two strokes and to be quite honest most people are amazed that he is still alive.

In the last year or so he has become increasingly nasty to me, my mother in law and my sister in law. I am the only one of the three who will not tolerate being treated like that and say that to him.

My sister in law is starting to do the same.
My mother in law is like a doormat sometimes.

However now it seems that their (especially her) mental health is now also going downhill. We first really noticed it in the 3rd week of Aug.
I had called my mother in law for a chat and during the conversation I had asked if they had arranged for a taxi for themselves for their upcoming river boat trip. No she said, Ton had offered to pick us up. I found this strange since Ton and I had discussed the very thing that morning and he had asked me what they had arranged since he had heard nothing.
I called him at the office and told him what had been said. He knew nothing. To cut a LONG story short, he couldn't manage that day because of appointments and I picked them up with Fiori.

Oh they said in the car, I thought that you couldn't take us, because you were so busy. Believe me the topic had NEVER come up. The same with picking them up the week later. They said that I was to tell Ton to pick them up at 9 am at the same place.
(Once again he knew nothing.)

At 8 am we got a call on the day that they returned to ask where Ton was. They had firstly called the office at 7.30 am.

Well we picked them up (Ton had taken a day off and had planned to go golfing later). When we got to their house we sat and had some coffee with them and out of nothing my father in law started on at me about something - really agressively - absolutely not important - about why was I meddling in the conversation. The fact was that Ton had just asked me something and he hadn't heard it (he is going deaf). I said this to him that I was only answering a question that had been asked. He just scowled at me.

Normally we go to their house on Sat. to do grocery shopping with them - at least I try to go, but about half of the time Ton goes alone.
We asked about the Sat. (2 days away) when we had returned them after their river boat trip, but they said that they didn't need anything and that was good because we had a LOAD of things to do because Ton was going to London early the next morning.

So we said that we wouldn't be coming by on Sat. and was that a problem since it was their wedding anniversary but they said that it was ok since they weren't doing anything special anyway.
I sent a nice card and wrote a nice sentiment in it.

This all happened on Sept. 2nd. Between then and now we have been to their house a few times including the weekend that Fiori was home. Fiori insisted on going to see her grandparents since she loves them very much.

Fast forward to Sept. 29th, the day after our wedding anniversary.
My parents in law are usually very attent regarding a telephone call or card. This time nothing.

In the evening the telephone went. Ton picked up the phone. It was my mother in law. She wanted to ask something about keys and afterwards Ton said, didn't you forget something yesterday.
What she said.
Well our wedding anniversary, Ton said.
Oh she said, I remembered but we couldn't do anything and I'll let you see on Sat.

Ton is never really curious about anything but this time he was.
On Sat. he went to his parents. His father was sleeping. Ton went with his mother grocery shopping and during this he stopped at a store and asked about something.

My mother in law asked what he was asking about. (It was a possible gift for my mother for Christmas.) My mother in law was extremely aggitated about this and asked why we bought a Christmas gift for my mother. Well Ton said in all honesty we always get really nice gifts from my parents in law for Christmas and we always like to send a nice gift back.
Oh his mother said. You don't buy us anything,
Yes said Ton, we do, we usually buy you some bottles of wine or champagne since you always say that you have everything.
However, he said, you haven't been buying gifts for anyone for years.
That's different she said.
Ton was confused.

Later at the house, she said, the reason why we didn't do anything for your wedding anniversary is that neither you or Avril came by on the day and you only sent a lousy 'cold' card (her words) with hardly anything nice written in it.
He had seen the card before I sent it and it was a nice card, suitable for the occasion and with a really nice sentiment written in it (by me).

Ton got up and walked out - extremely angry (and believe me Ton is almost never angry).
He knew that his brother was going to be there later that day so he called him and warned him about what had happened.

Yesterday (Oct. 4th) she called him at the office and asked how his head was (???!!!!!).
He said that he had no idea what she was talking about.
She then asked if he was at the office (Mon - late morning), yes, he said and then she hung up without saying anything further.
Ton has no idea what is going on.

We have noticed lately that she can't handle anything anymore - not even going to the dentist for a check up for example. She then has to take to her bed to sleep for 2 days.
She cut her leg on a seemingly very sharp ring that she has (a small cut - about 1/4 inch) and she became extremely upset and had to go to bed to recover - again 3 days.

I mentioned all this to my mother and she said that it seems to be very similar to what they experienced with an aunt of mine in Scotland just before they discovered that she had Alzheimers.
Personally I have no idea what it could be.
Is it 'just' old age? Or is it indeed something else creeping up?
Any ideas?

Sorry to burden you all with this.
I am so grateful just to be able to vent this on here.
(((HUGS)))

Just re-read this and saw how long it is - sorry!!
 
#104 ·
Hi,

The thing about the child benefit changes was announced at the Conservative party conference this week. The spending review is on October 20th when I'm sure we'll hear that the cuts don't need to be as bad as we first thought due to the fabulous mental dexterity of our wonderful government.

The thing about the raised terror alert is just not a story here tbh. I don't think it would even have got a minor mention on the news had it not been for some statement coming out of the US. Something to do with a non-specified but general be careful in European cities kind of it thing. Basically nothing has been said, other than a minor mention one evening on the news - I don't think it made more than one bulletin. Not worried about it at all, less than worried. In fact I'm rather more concerned about Northern Ireland and the unrest there just now.

So sorry to hear about the family troubles, tbh I am inclined to agree with your mother. As I was reading it did sound a lot like the experience of dementia I've had. I hope that's not the case but it does sound like a similar pattern. Hugs to you.
 
#105 ·
Hi,

In fact I'm rather more concerned about Northern Ireland and the unrest there just now.
It bothers me too.
Wasn't it in the early 70's that the troubles flared up after a few of these incidents?
 
#106 ·
I think I would be pretty surprised if it ventured over to the mainland this time, but there have been some really unpleasant things going on this year. Very sad to see the return of anything like that. I was lucky enough to just miss being in the thick of two IRA bombings so hate to think of people going through this kind of thing again.
 
#107 ·
It has been 2 weeks since I last posted on here. A LOT has been happening (for a change) LOL.

Ton went to London for 4 days and spent a lot of time with Fiori.
We have come to the conclusion that she is not going to settle down, she just isn't the type to like living away from home. She is a homebody and not the adventurous type.
As I wrote already, a couple of her friends will be there the last weekend of Oct. and we will both be there from Nov. 17th till 20th.

She is coming home for a weekend the last weekend of Nov. She goes back to London on Nov. 29th. She will come home for good on Dec. 24th.

Originally she was to stay a lot longer but because she has been doing 5 days per week at her placement instead of 4, everything is moving up and with the days off that she has been given by the company, she can home on Dec. 24th. HOORAY!!!!!

In between this our third son moved back into the house. He has enough with him for 3 rooms (ok he moved back from his own apartment so it's logical but we still haven't found room for it all).

However the day before he was to move (helped by us and one of his brothers and two friends) he fell from a scaffolding about 15 ft above the ground and landed wrongly. So he was on crutches during the moving. Thankfully he is a lot better now but it did complicate things a lot both during the moving and afterwards.

I have been keeping my distance from my parents in law since I am usually one of the (lucky) few who takes the brunt of their frustration.
I have been calling once or twice per week. This is one of the most frustrating things that I can do.

For example. This morning I called. I knew that my fil was suposed to go today to the eye hospital for cataract surgery but he was called yesterday evening to say that it had to be postponed because there was no anethietist (sp?) available.

I tried to say to him that this sometimes happens and that maybe the man was sick and they couldn't find a replacement. But that, he says, is no excuse, he was counting on going to the hospital and they have to understand it.
Also he says he doesn't understand why he had to wait so long because when we were there in July, they had said that there were no waiting lists. They tried to explain to him then that there aren't for normal cataract surgery but because he is such a high risk, he has to be admitted to the IC unit and then there is a waiting list. He didn't get this because of his extremely bad hearing.
Not acceptable he says.

And, he continued, I almost died on Friday anyway, so if they don't hurry up they won't have to do it. It seems that he had extreme pain around his heart once again and they even called the dr. (which is actually a miracle in itself since they always say - what can he do for me?). The dr. wanted to admit him into hospital since he thought that my fil's last day had dawned but he refused saying that he wanted to die at home. There isn't a hair on his head that would think of calling anyone of the family about this. If we want to know something WE have to call.

Anyhow, enough to keep us busy.
How are things with you all?

I have been following the things that have been released already regarding the spending review. I wonder what they will be coming with tomorrow?
 
#108 ·
I had to smile reading your post about your children, my father would tell you you've made your house too comfy! lol If something happened I know my parents would take me in, but then they would have the local listings out to find me a place of my own whippet quick!

You have my sympathy about the parents in law, sounds like you do a lot for them without much thanks. But hey, that's what families are isn't it!

I am half glad that the spending review is tomorrow. It seems like we've been waiting for an eternity and I just want it to be over, for better or worse. A few things have been dripping out about what might be said and very little of it sounds fun. The defense review is today and spending is going to be cut hard, I know we're taking aircraft carriers out of service pretty quickly and other things are being shelved.

There is something in the news this morning about social housing. Budgets for building new social housing is to be cut by 50% and we're lead to believe that the right to a house for life is to be removed. People will be means tested every 5-10 years to see if they still need the help and there is rumour that rents will increase from 30% of market value to as high as 90%. I know lots of people will see that as a good thing though.

Ack, I can't talk about it any more, it's too depressing.

I'll be around tomorrow to unpick it though...
 
#109 ·
BB Although I haven't been on here much at all, I have been thinking of you since the spending review and how it will possibly affect you and your dh.

Things here still remain the same regarding the kids and my parents in law and continue to emotionally drain us most of the time.

The fact that the weather is miserable most the time doesn't help. (I must say that they have given us a good forecast for today though which may help things. Although waking up this morning with a throat that feels like I have swallowed razors may dampen my spirits.)

Two of Fiori's girlfriends will be going to visit her this weekend and they have kindly taken over some things for her. Fiori has been having a hard time of it again. Her (prepaid) telephone was stolen out of her pocket on the DLR which meant that she was unreachable since internet had been cut off in their apartment as was agreed upon in the beginning.
It won't be re-connected till Nov. 4th or thereabouts. (The old connection was the landlord's and the new one will be the tenant's.)

Because her (reserve) telephone with Dutch sim-card didn't have a signal for some stupid reason or another, she was allowed borrow one of her flatmate's phone to call us (sobbing) telling us that she was unreachable when she was out of the office.
She did finally manage to figure out how to get a signal with her Dutch phone however calling home with that one is extremely expensive.

I felt SO SORRY for her that I wanted to go over there and bring her home that evening.

Well at least her friends are there this weekend and we will be there from Nov. 17th onwards for 4 days (business trip with dh) and she will be home the weekend after that so that she can celebrate her birthday at home.

After that she only has 3 1/2 weeks to go before she comes home and doesn't have to go back and one of her brothers and his girlfriend will be there half way during those 3 1/2 weeks for a couple of days which will be nice for her.

She is trying to pressurize dh to come over on Dec 23rd to help her get packed to come home on the 24th. We can't imagine that it should be so difficult to throw her things in a couple of suitcases and just leave so we are trying to figure out what the real reason is.

Further nothing much to report.
 
#110 ·
Oh bless her, she really sounds like she's having a hard time. I really feel for her, being somewhere like London must be really tough when you're unhappy and feeling a bit isolated. I bet you'll be much happier when she's back for good.

The spending review was painful and really depressing to listen to, with a couple of sweeteners thrown in to keep some folk happy. We're meant to be getting an electrified (is that the word?) railway line from Blackpool so we'll be able to get straight to London - not that I go to, or want to go to, London but DH has to venture there for work occasionally and it would cut travel time.

Benefits are being cut and changed all over the place, as is to be expected, retirement age is increasing, again unexpected, 490,000 people will be losing their jobs, painful.

There is to be a 28% reduction in local councils so DH guesses that 200 people will be made redundant from the council he works for. The reshuffle talks are taking place over the next two weeks. They are really butting up against Christmas for redundancy notices... The cuts equal 7% per year over 4 years but DH's workplace are front loading this so most people will go this year and then only a few in the following years - this is probably to allow for "natural wastage" like retirement. We won't start to feel the pain for a couple of months, when the workforce is smaller and planned work is scrapped, so we shall see. I don't think many people in this country could be bothered to take to the streets so it'll just happen and then people will complain and not know why things are as bad as they're going to be. At the minute there seems to be a big "us and them" view, lots of private sector workers seem to have little sympathy for those who don't work in their sector so people seem to be pitted against each other rather than the "we're in this together" bs put about by our leaders. I know things have to change but I think that they don't need to be cut as much as it happening and I think the recession is just a really convenient excuse for the government to push through their ideology.

We are quite worried about this area as even though lots of people are retired, much of the workforce work in the public sector or for (what was) British Aerospace, there's a plant nearby that employs lots of locals and it looks like it's going to close completely. My next door neighbour works there so I don't know what will happen to him. He's a skilled manufacturer, and there's not much call for that, I hope things are not as bad as is feared.

So, I have to say there's not too much positivity about at the minute. Everyone I know (regardless of where they work) is dreading Christmas and all our friends have been talking about a really scaled back celebration. I have been shocked at what people have been saying. Everyone knows we're frugal so I think it's easy for people to open up to us but it's kind of sad that even our single, professional friends feel that they have to watch the pennies...
 
#111 ·
We finally have a government now as well and we are pleased that they finally got their fingers out even though they don't have much good news if any.

It is a central right minority government with political support from Wilders which gives it the majority. He has been getting his way in a lot of their decisions among others that the burka will probably be forbidden.

Our retirement age is also going up too but we were warned about this by the previous government so it hasn't come as much as a shock. I wonder if the French honestly thought that they could change anything if they went on strike. It seems to me that, considering the economy in all of Europe, it was a pointless action.

Our new government has said that the cutbacks will be felt by everyone.

However they haven't told us about all of them yet.

The biggest cutback that we know about will also hit our government departments and councils. That is known.
It has also been said but it isn't certain yet, that our college/universities will become more expensive and that the grants that kids get will be done away with (thank you very much for that, NOT).
Our yearly deduction for healthcare will be raised a lot (not sure how much yet but the word substantial was mentioned) plus free dental care for young adults from 18 to 22 has been done away with.
All benefits will be cut to varying degrees and some will be done away with.

I know all about factories being closed and how it can affect an area. Two of the big factories near where my parents live closed their doors and has left the town where they live almost a ghost town. It is really depressing. It wasn't a large town to begin with with few facilities but with the factories there was always something to keep some of the young people there, now there is nothing.

Not much is being said yet in the media about downsizing Christmas/St Nicolaas (5th Dec and main gift giving time for young children) but I'm sure that we will be hearing about it quite soon.

(((HUGS)))
 
#112 ·
How are things with everyone?

BB, any more news from your hubby's work?

Things are starting to heat up across here regarding the cuts that the government will be making.
Firstly they have said that - even on top of the cuts in staff - the public sector will be having a pay freeze. It wasn't welcomed as you can imagine.
Also our (entire Dutch) health insurance premium will be going up by 10% and the own deductible will once again be rising. It went up by 6.46% in 2010 and now will rise by a further 3.33%. Of course the basic package of treatments in the compulsary healthcare insurance has been cut back - for example no free dental treatment for children/students from 18 to 22 in the basic package (they will have to be insured additionally).
In all it will mean - just health insurance - about 100 euros per month extra for us to pay.

We haven't heard anything about the tuition raises and stopping student grants - yet. But I fear it is just a question of time.
They seem to be launching the cutbacks one by one.


Fiori has calmed down a lot in London and now has internet and a new phone which her friends brought over. She got a WONDERFUL evaluation about her work from her supervisor and about her interaction with her colleagues which was really nice for her. Also she got a really nice email from her co-ordinator from university when she sent her 3rd assignment. She is the only one in her entire class that has finished the assignments so far on time and has had them all approved. She only now has her ' self reflection ' assignment and her final assignment which will be summing up her work and a case study. She has to have those finished by Feb 7th 2011 but she is already 1/3 way through.

One thing that Fiori is really enjoying is the run up to Christmas in the UK. Christmas across here is a little understated but is always a lot more than it used to be when I first moved here 33 years ago.
She is absolutely LOVING it and is enthralled by the lights in Regent/Oxford street and by the (reasonably cheap) things she finds in the stores. Her room is already decorated and filled with Christmas things (it is unbelievable how much she is like me in this). Almost every day on Skype she shows us something she has bought for her room. We are just relieved that she has calmed down a bit and seems to be enjoying herself a bit more.
 
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#113 ·
Hi,

Sorry I've not been about for an update, sidetracked as ever!

Wow, I can't believe the 10% increase in premiums, that will cause lots of pain for people. Coupled with the cutbacks people are hit at both ends aren't they.

I'm glad Fiori is finding something to like about London, the shops do look great at this time of year and there are lots of little bits and bobs to pick up and enjoy.

Today I refuse to talk about the latest hairbrained ideas that have come from 10 Downing Street. I spent all day yesterday getting cross and I don't think it's good for my health. Suffice to say I think they are coming up with things that sound reasonable on the surface but upon further thought are madness.

On the job front we are still limping on waiting for the powers that be to get their act together. HR are so run off their feet processing all this stuff dates are just getting pushed back. And here's the killer punch - when these reshuffles are finished and HR have done all the work they too will be cut by 40%. What a kick in the teeth that is.

DH has to attend 3 meetings this week about how the restructure is going to work, but at the moment because no announcements can be made about who goes and who stays they're not hugely useful. There are noises that most people will be made redundant in February (it was meant to be this month so that's how far behind they are). I'm tired of even thinking about it.

So, job or no job we're preparing for Christmas. I'm not religious and I've never been a huge fan of the day itself but DH and I have our little traditions and I look forward to them. This year we've decided to not visit anyone on Christmas Day, we're going to head off to the beach for a wintery breakfast and then hunker down at home for the rest of the day.

DH has recently started making bread and he's getting really good at it. Yesterday he made date and rosemary rolls and a carrot and rice bread. They are both delicious. He is going to make stollen for the festive period so I am really looking forward to that. We're just using this time to focus on what's important to us rather than any keeping up with our richer friends and spending lots of cash.

Think that's about it for now. The weather has taken a turn for the colder so I am really glad we fixed the heating - well worth the money. It's so cute to see the bunnies stretched out and enjoying the warmth.

Hope you're well and not too depressed by the cuts! Speak soon.
 
#114 ·
Hi,

Today I refuse to talk about the latest hairbrained ideas that have come from 10 Downing Street. I spent all day yesterday getting cross and I don't think it's good for my health. Suffice to say I think they are coming up with things that sound reasonable on the surface but upon further thought are madness.
Must have missed this - what are they?

I would LOVE to have the recipes for your dh's bread.

Our weather has also turned colder and to be honest I am glad since we were having extremely mild weather regarding temp but it couldn't rain any harder or blow any harder if it tried. Now it has calmed down a bit but is colder - my kind of weather. Even frost has been forecast.

I can't even imagine the stress that you and dh are having regarding the job front. (((HUGS))))

Regarding us being depressed by the cuts - it's just a question of waiting to see what's coming next and dealing with it - not really much choice is there?

I have started to make a new budget for next year - not a pretty sight but it is a work in progress - filling in estimates and waiting for the real figures.

Regarding Christmas - my favorite time of the year.
However it is becoming more and more of a headache as the years go on and the kids get older because it is more difficult to get them all together at the same time. Especially now that 4 of them have better halves or long time girlfriends. It is actually quite funny how some of the kids deal with this - it is almost a condition of their relationship - Christmas Eve is gift giving in our family - plan YOUR (girlfriend's family) Christmas around it.

The way it looks now 2 of the kids will be away at Christmas.
The other kids have a lot of trouble with this since they love our tradition of getting together for Christmas Eve and exchanging small gifts (no more than 10 euros each). We have done this for as long as I can remember because our youngest son was born on Christmas Day and we celebrate his birthday that day.
It will all work out somehow - don't know yet how but it will - always does.

Would you send me your address in pm? I would like to send you a Christmas Card. I promise you I would never make mis-use of it. I will completely understand if you don't want to do it.
 
#115 ·
Awww, that's so lovely, I would love to swap addresses with you. I would love to send you a card too!

The latest scheme is "Workfare" I think they're calling it, where people who aren't actively seeking work have to do community work or lose benefits. As I said it may seem reasonable at first glance but are we really going to stop giving money to people with children and take food out of their mouths? Are we really going to make street sweepers, gardeners and other public secot workers redundant and then make people do their job for less than minimum wage? It will not work. Because people who want to work will want to do this to put it on their cv and show they kept busy even when they have no paid work through no fault of their own. and the 3rd generation unemployed who aren't bothered about that and don't have the work ethic will continue to do whatever it is they do to not have their benefits stopped anyway. Plus, it will cost a fortune to implement. They obviously think it's a good idea though as bad ideas are always announced by a Lib Dem, "good" ideas are announced by a Conservative, lol.

But at least our business guy, Vince Cable is over in China dealing with the big issues - making sure they won't produce any alcohol and call it "Scotch". Glory be, we are saved *roll eyes*

Your Christmas sounds great, I love that your children see Christmas Eve as such an important thing that other people have to accept it and that's that. It's nice that DS's birthday can stay special too. My birthday is in early January and I always received joint Christmas and birthday presents and no-one other than my parents made a big deal of my birthday because everyone was on a diet or had no money to celebrate it.

I'll pm you now :)
 
#116 ·
Bread recipes!

Wild Rice and Carrot Loaf

200g strong white bread flour
200g strong granary flour
50g wild rice, cooked and cooled (we used red camargue rice)
100g carrots, grated
2 tsp sea salt
1 x 7g sachet easybake yeast
100ml warmed carrot juice
100ml warm water (we just used water, no carrot juice)

Put the dry ingredients into a bowl and sprinkle over the yeast. Mix to a soft dough with the water and carrot juice, turn onto a floured board and knead for 10 minutes.

Shape the dough into an oblong, place onto a greased baking sheet, slit the top and leave to prove until doubled in size.
Bake at 190C/375f/Gas 5 for 30 minutes


Date and Rosemary Bread

200g strong white bread flour
200g strong granary flour
2 tsp sea salt
100g dates, stoned and quartered
2 sprigs rosemary, chopped
1 x sachet easy bake yeast
2 tsp honey
15ml walnut oil
225ml warm water

To Top

6-8 sprigs rosemary

Put the dry ingredients into a bowl with the dates and rosemary and sprinkle over the yeast. Mix to a soft dough with the honey, oil and water. Turn onto a floured board and knead for 10 minutes.

Shape the dough into 6 large rolls (and they are large, we made 8 smaller ones). Place onto a greased baking sheet and leave to prove until doubled in size. Brush with water and top with rosemary sprigs.

Bake at 190C/375f/Gas 5 for 30 minutes
 
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