Why should I feel guilty?

**mommy4ever** · 05-01-2008, 04:38 PM

Today we got our tax return. Not bad considerring deadline to file was yesterday..lol. We filed a week ago.

Anyway, so today I took out max cash withdrawl and paid to toward the RV. This is the plan for it. All but $97. I had rounded it out. So fine. I went to Wal-Mart. I bought socks for myself. Needed. I wear my socks until there's holes. Rough feet. And I bought underwear. I feel TOTALLY guilty for buying a pack of 3 that were a little lacey. They were over double the cost of the others in the 6 pack. But I figured it out. It costs .02 per wear. (based on 2 years use, 1 time a week, some I have are closer to 4 years old... so .005 a use). So why on earth do I feel guilty?? It's not like they were $20 per pair, they were $3. ROFL... I'm such a ditz. ((but I still feel guilty..lol).

From that $97 bought 10 pairs of socks, 9 pairs of undies, and holding tank stuff for the rv, some clearance colors for the kids(crayola twistables for 70% off). And there's still money left over. This will buy a few groceries for our weekend camping. Not budgeted for. I have no idea what I have in the old trailer in terms of staples if anything.

Anyone else feel guilty when they get themselves something?

**Believer+** · 05-01-2008, 04:47 PM

I use to always feel guilty spending money on myself.........Thank Goodness I got over that!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL

Seriously, now that it is just DH and myself at home, I don't find I have a problem with that anymore. DH is on disability and I work full time, so if I want something, I buy it and so does he.

Hope you get over that feeling soon!

**mombottoo** · 05-01-2008, 04:50 PM

You shouldn't feel guilty and the answer to your question is "yes", sometimes I feel guilty for spending money on myself.

**mommy4ever** · 05-01-2008, 04:52 PM

I have done this before. To the point where I return my purchase to the store! I get home and feel SICK about it..lol.

I think today is because of the RV purchase. I just got the bank draft and feel very anxious about making such a LARGE purchase. Besides the house, our biggest purchase was $2500. So this ia HUGE. I just want to pay it off,like yesterday! Oh wait, that's when I took the money..lol

**Believer+** · 05-01-2008, 05:02 PM

I shouldn't have said I just buy anything I want...........just the purchases that don't cost a lot. For anything big, we discuss it, put it into the budget and then get it. However, for things like undies, clothes, shoes, etc. I do buy what I want, IF I have the cash................I don't do credit cards. If I don't have the cash, I don't buy.

Thought I should clarify that.

**mommy4ever** · 05-01-2008, 05:07 PM

I totally understood what you meant. I believe at some point I'll be ok with it. But while there are 4 children to care for I think that feeling will always be there. My eldest is still only 13. The youngest is 4, so I think I"ll struggle with this feeling for quite awhile yet. I need a haircut, but I keep putting it off, as I don't want to spend it on myself..lol

**mmy2grls** · 05-01-2008, 05:09 PM

I feel guilty buying myself anything when I think how I could buy my kids something they want instead.

I put their wants in front of my needs

**Believer+** · 05-01-2008, 05:18 PM

That makes you a GOOD MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Believe me, when they are out of the house and on their own, things will change. (After the "empty nest" thing is handled.)

It's a whole new ballgame....at least it is for me. My kids use to want money or this or that all the time (before they learned to budget) and I would always give it to them. Now, they don't need my help and while we don't have alot, we are doing ok. We don't need a lot of things..........so we are good.

See what you get to look forward to?

**chevy_chick95** · 05-01-2008, 05:18 PM

it odd, i can buy anything for anybody but the minute i buy for myself, i completely regret it. i usually end up taking it back because i fell SO GUILTY. don't do it though.
you bought good things that you and your family need.

**MomK** · 05-01-2008, 06:11 PM

I get that "buyer's remorse" all the time when I buy something that I "want" rather than what I "need."

**Dancing Lotus** · 05-01-2008, 07:35 PM

I don't want to belittle what you are saying because its not a little thing. But look at it this way.

You bought socks and underwear not diamonds and pearls! LOL

When I was a kid my mom put our wants before her needs. She wore the same ugly cheap shirt for yrs because I wanted new clothes. Honestly I had no idea what she was doing, I just thought she had bad taste. NOW as an adult and a mother myself I know the truth and the truth bothers me. I don't like that she didn't feel she deserved to get new things too.

By always putting your kids before you , you are teaching them that they are more deserving then you. You are devaluing yourself. Now don't take this to extream. Yes I think the kids do come first but there is a line. Just the point of view from a woman who's mom didn't value her needs as much as others.

**FrugalMomof3** · 05-01-2008, 07:38 PM

I do feel guilty at times but most often I get an item I know I really needed, so the guilt wears off.

**shoiji** · 05-01-2008, 07:52 PM

I have been spending a little more than I usually do on clothes. Was feeling a little guilty about it until someone pointed out that I stated most of my clothes were 5 to 10 years old. Also as I was weeding through stuff I realized how stained or worn they were. So now I am starting to feel a little better about spending money on myself. One thing I don't feel guilty about is sneakers. Mine get very worn out. Grant it I don't spend more than $30.

**Starlight9803** · 05-01-2008, 08:20 PM

I battle regret whenever I buy myself something too. I actually ask for needs for birthday /christmas instead of wants. My DH jumps on me all the time and tells me to at least spend a little on what I want, but I just can't bring myself to do it most times. If I do buy something, I regret it enough that I never truly enjoy it.