I felt terrible about myself last night

**New-mom-to-be** · 05-03-2008, 08:48 AM

I am trying to buy better groceries. I am getting there, but still no where near where we need to be yet.

Last night at the grocery store, I was watching this cart in front of me loaded with processed crap. Now I buy a lot of things like that, but never things like twinkies and chips and lunchables and marinated meats and kabobs and things like that.

Well, the total of this cart came to 300 and the woman paid with her Lone Star card. I'm thinking there is no way this food is going to last her three kids nor is all that nutritionally healthy. It's all junk food and microwaveable stuff.

Then I started thinking they need cooking classes for this card. And I realized how condescending that was because I'm not a very good cook. I just happen to be fortunate enough to have a degree and a good job and don't need government assistance.

I really felt guilty about this. I prayed for forgiveness

**nuisance26** · 05-03-2008, 09:00 AM

~You were partially on the right track thinking these people were ignorant in their choices and completely right to repent for being judgemental. One of things that keeps my opinions about others in check is my history(and present!) with my poor/ignorant relatives. You can't help but be compassionate when strangers remind you of someone you love. Volunteering at a shelter or soup kitchen may help you guard your thoughts. God bless!~

**Dancing Lotus** · 05-03-2008, 09:23 AM

While I too have judged and felt bad about it later. You are right to think that people who are not using there resources wisely need help.

**mombottoo** · 05-03-2008, 10:11 AM

No need to beat yourself up for heaven's sake. You surely aren't the first person to have these thoughts when you see someone using a food stamp card to buy junk food.

I had similar thoughts recently when a young couple paid for their groceries with a food stamp card and then he turned around and paid for a half gallon of whiskey & other booze with cash

...way I figure it, is if you can afford a half gallon + of booze you should darned well be able to feed yourself.

**ukbb** · 05-03-2008, 11:46 AM

Originally Posted by mombottoo

I had similar thoughts recently when a young couple paid for their groceries with a food stamp card and then he turned around and paid for a half gallon of whiskey & other booze with cash

...way I figure it, is if you can afford a half gallon + of booze you should darned well be able to feed yourself.

Maybe the half gallon of booze was a gift for someone that did $250 worth of repairs on their car for free.

UKBB

**peanut** · 05-03-2008, 11:53 AM

Welcome to the club. One reason to pray for forgiveness every day of our lives. I hate shopping just after the welfare checks come out. I see people at the grocery store with all kinds of crap in their carts. I get so angry that my taxes are supporting their bad habits. But then I realize they simply do not have the education to know any better. It is really very sad. Not only do they not have the education, a lot don't want to learn...at least here they don't seem to. That attitude really ticks me off. But then I remember what I was like when I started out as a young person on my own and a young mom. I certainly wasn't the most teachable person either!!! I end up eating humble pie before I get home...

Jean

**Marie78** · 05-03-2008, 12:05 PM

I work in a non-profit agency and I see a lot of individuals who need help making wiser choices in their lives: rlelated to all aspects of their lives, including: food, housing and hygiene.

**mmy2grls** · 05-03-2008, 12:49 PM

I imagine some don't know better or don't know how to make healthy meals. I have heard of people brag about buying fancy steaks and lobster using food benefits on a constant basis, shame on them.

In my area they offered a food class years ago that I signed up for. I learned nothing from it, one of their main ideas was to make foods in different colors to make meals more appetizing. They did talk about eating fresh fruit was better for kids than drinking juice but the fruit prices was outrageous in the stores and that would cost a lot more. The class I took was worthless.

I just recently learned that buying frozen vegetables was more economic than buying canned and it tasted so much better. You look at the price of canned vegetables compared to the price of a bag of frozen vegetables, and to me the canned seemed to be a better buy to me for years.

**mmy2grls** · 05-03-2008, 01:00 PM

That reminds of one time I was going to the store to buy food with the benefit card, my brother gave me $60 and asked me to pick up a carton of cigarettes for him. I didn't think anything of it but I got nasty stares, I was made to feel like crap and I was doing nothing wrong but the people who gave me dirty looks probably thought I was mooching of the government while spending my money on cigs.

**Athena31** · 05-03-2008, 01:32 PM

Well to each their own you can't possibly know what that person circumstances were. People makes choices that they have to live with so just be glad you were not them.

**joyofsix** · 05-03-2008, 02:09 PM

Well, I've been on both sides of this and worked for WIC too. Some people haven't been made aware of good shopping choices, some don't want to be aware and some are trying. I can also say that if you work 10hours/day outside the home you just want something you can put down in front of the kids quickly. It may not be right but it's an honest feeling. You certainly aren't the first person to judge but it says good things about you that you were sorry.

**powerfm1** · 05-03-2008, 03:11 PM

First of all, never assume that someone buy food on food stamps isn't working. There are so many people barely able to pay rent that work full-time and they qualify for food stamps.

Here's something to really think about, all the people who work full-time and their wages are so low that they qualify for food stamps. It means that the company they work for puts out less money and you, the people, are paying for that families food.

Something to think about.

**Megareader** · 05-03-2008, 03:21 PM

Back in the 1960's when dh was married to his first wife and he had just gotten out of the military, he had a job and they still qualified for food stamps. They had to feed the kids somehow. I have no idea what food items they bought though.

**mombottoo** · 05-03-2008, 04:46 PM

Originally Posted by ukbb

Maybe the half gallon of booze was a gift for someone that did $250 worth of repairs on their car for free.

UKBB

and pigs fly

...the guy had the look of a grease monkey so I don't think this is even a remote possibility. I'd buy the gift idea if they wouldn't have paid for the pop mixers with their foodstamp card. I guess you would have had to be there, the booze was definitely for them.

**ShawnaRae** · 05-03-2008, 04:49 PM

I was on food stamps for a few months, well over 10 years ago. I remember how hard it was to feel the judgement from others. I remember that experience whenever I catch myself judging someone. And chances are, if someone is on food stamps, they are likely to be dealing with more hardship than myself. I try not to add to their difficulties by judging them. But I wouldn't feel guilty! It's very easy to do. I was in a similar situation a few days ago, and caught myself being judgemental.

Here are a few thoughts I had; Maybe this woman feels guilty not being able to give her children more, and the one thing she can do is buy food her children will get excited about, even if it is very unhealthy. Also, many people on food stamps do work long hours. She may not have any time to prepare food. In any case, I guess we can't know without really knowing the person. Yesterday I brought $50 worth of groceries to a needy family, I wish they could qualify for food stamps during their short term financial hardship.

Thank you very much for posting! It is a good topic to think on!