I've created a monster!! (A frugal one)!

**rachelMcK** · 06-10-2008, 09:13 AM

Its been a long time since I started my frugal journey. There are a lot of roadblocks (actually I think the road's caved in a few times too). A lot of that is from me because I was doing it by myself. DH didn't put any effort in at all. Its hard to stay frugal when your husband isn't at all.
Well the other day, I had to explain to him that we only had $24 for 2 weeks to live on. He was furious, he made me explain where every penny of his paycheck went (the portion I touched, went to bills). He thought I had spent all the money on random things...Thank God for online bank statements...lol. I showed him our joint account, my account and his. It was actually his doing. He thought spending $20 here, $20 there, didn't make a difference at all. Sometimes he was spending $100 a day! That humbled him alot I think.

Now, he's so money-concious, its almost driving me a little crazy! He's even rationing the food we have until we get paid. Last night even, I had a wicked migraine with no meds, so on the way home from work we stopped at the drug store. I ran in and out, got the extra-strength liquid gels (advil, name brand). He asked me to return them and get the store-brand instead because we could save $2.
Bless his heart for his newfound frugal ways, but I had a migraine, I didn't care at all!!

So that's my monster...anyone else have a similar experience? How do you deal when you go from the first to the second most frugal person in the house???

**Ceashels** · 06-10-2008, 09:17 AM

LOL, i just updated the DH has a new hero thread. And he isn't a monster yet, but he used the term radical debt elimination yesterday and left me speechless.

I am so glad you had the facts and figures there to show him the black and white of the situation. Sometimes men just seem to need to see it because they don't always listen to what we tell them.

Congratulations on him getting onboard.

**Tamerama** · 06-10-2008, 09:19 AM

LOL...well, glad he got his wake up call!! Other than that I have no advice since my husband tends to spend between $5-$10 for lunch every day!! Makes me crazy but he is annoyed GREATLY if I mention it so I just don't bother anymore..I just work it into the budget.

**FrugalMomof3** · 06-10-2008, 09:20 AM

OMG in a way that's great but your DH sounds like me! My DH is pretty good, I mean he doesnt really ask where the money went just that he hopes I bought store brand stuff and did I get anything on sale.

**Momto2Boyz** · 06-10-2008, 09:24 AM

MY dh was that way for the longest time! He's use his debit card, a little here, a little there...and it would add up and there would be no money left. Once I sat down with a months worth of charges and showed him how much he spent (and when he couldn't account for it all) he gave me his debit card!

He can be a bit of a fanatic at times... yelling about the lights being on, toilet running, etc. But, at least it's saving us money!

**staciah** · 06-10-2008, 09:34 AM

My DH used to roll his eyes

at me when I would tell him to turn the water off when he's was brushing his teeth

I blew up at him one night and told him all the work I did and if it wasn't for the budgeting we would be drowning in debt.

That was his wake up. He's not as bad as I am but he does watch his spending.

**Frugal Nurse** · 06-10-2008, 09:44 AM

Oh God that is funny!!
Sometimes that kind of wake-up call is just what you need.

You didn't patronize him, you didn't order him to do this or that, you didn't nag either. You took the facts (the checking accounts) and he saw for himself exactly what he was doing.

Excellent job! and thank you for sharing!

ps. I always hated my dh said I spent all the money. It was my responsiblity to pay the bills, do the grocery shopping, buy clothing for the children, get household items- for all of us. Grrrrrrrr that made me so mad.

I was quick to say... 'you think you're so good at... here's the accounts- now YOU do the shopping you little

"

I'm much nicer now.

**ironmaiden** · 06-10-2008, 10:43 AM

Borrow from the library or see if they can get it on Audio for you, Your Money or Your Life by Joe and Vicki Dominguez.

It will make you feel empowered to not fritter away money.

DH last night said that he wanted to see the last two mortgage statements. He wanted to see how much was going to principle and calculate how many years we had left on the mortgage.

**lgw** · 06-10-2008, 10:58 AM

I *wish* DH would have one of these epiphanies. He rarely goes wild with the ATM, but he just doesn't think about saving money like I do. He would never think to buy the generic food/drug, and he is forever leaving the bathroom lights on. And he never -- ever -- goes to our bank's ATM, always the others that incur fees up to $2 whack.

**pecunierrant** · 06-10-2008, 12:47 PM

My DH has come around too and sometimes surprises me with comments on how expensive this or that is. He even puts off buying things and does without nowadays, what a help that has been.

Keep encouraging your DH, it's a good thing

**Jill B.** · 06-10-2008, 03:33 PM

Congrats for getting him on board. I have never had that problem before but I have read many others' posts on how irresponsible their husband or wife is.

We really have to watch our money now since I am going from full time with benefits to part time no benefits. DH is being very careful and reminding me to be careful too.

**StaceyS** · 06-10-2008, 03:46 PM

When I met DBF, he didn't know what a budget was. He used to pay his electric bill when he got the pink notice that it was going to be shut off in 3 days!! I couldn't believe it! Now, it's been almost a year since we've been working toghether on it and a few weeks ago he made the comment that it was SO nice to pay his bills on time and that he never wanted to see one of those pink notices again!

Just last night I showed him his ex's electric bill (apparently she had her daughter go pay it before it got shut off LOL) and her monthly KWH was over 3,500!! His is steadily at around 700 and they have comperable houses! He was shocked (and quite proud of himself & his daughter for conserving)!

**itsahumanzoo** · 06-10-2008, 03:59 PM

My DH is getting better. He more adamant about paying off the debts than he is about saving a little bit of money here and there. It's hard for me, because when he sits down and pays the bills he writes these big checks and then I have to grocery shop and put gas in my car and there's no money left!

**Mom23boys** · 06-10-2008, 04:13 PM

I am glad your DH is on board with you....or a little overboard. At least he is saving money now instead of blowing it.

By the way, I don't blame you for getting the name brand meds when it comes to having a migraine.

**rachelMcK** · 06-11-2008, 07:41 AM

Yeah, I saw advil and went running for it...forget the rest...lol

He shocked me yesterday. We needed toothpaste, bad, as my stockpile had run out. I told him I was going to get it and he called me right back (from work) and said that shoppers drug mart had the best deal (.39) and I should go there ( I already knew that...lol). Later when i told him I spent 1.87, he wanted to know on what because the limit on the toothpaste was only 4 and it didnt add up...lol. I told him I got a can of tuna and he asked if it was on sale (of course!).

I love this, he's keeping me on my toes! This frugality thing might actually work this time!!!