I am a horrible person...not sure I care...

**kita** · 06-17-2008, 12:03 AM

I yelled at a child in the grocery store today. Loudly. Very loudly. Mother was there too.
The mother had (frugally) brought old plastic bags to use. Her older child (6-8?) was amusing her little brother(2-3) by PUTTING THE BAG OVER HIS HEAD AND RUBBING HIS FACE IN IT. I yelled at the child. Mother was very cold to me about "why are speaking to my child like that?" I explained. She didn't seem as upset about the danger her child was in as she was about my audacity at speaking to her children. I'm still angry now several hours later. And I still don't care what the mother thinks about me. At least the girl has an idea about what I was upset about. She was trying to put the bag back on while mom was talking to me and I was giving her the nastiest glare I could so she took it off.
Yep, still don't care. Oh well.
Actually, what makes me horrible is I didn't call Children's Services.
Full disclosure: I'm not a mother so I don't know what it would be like from the other end. I think if it was my child she would have been spanked then and there. (okay for the second time, maybe she is that stupid). Call Children's Services on me.

oh, and yes, I suppose it is off-topic...

**Tater** · 06-17-2008, 12:30 AM

You're not a horrible person. If the mom is too ignorant or uncaring to stop her oldest child from putting her youngest child in REAL danger, someone should step in. Maybe the next time the oldest child thinks about doing that, she will think twice. At least now she knows its a bad thing to do.

Now, personally, if a stranger were to yell at my child in a store, I would be pi$$ed. Of course, MY child knows better than to put plastic bags over her little sister's head!! AND I watch my children more closely, obviously, than that mother, so they probably wouldn't be in a position to NEED to be yelled at by a stranger.

You probably saved the kid from being suffocated.

**itsahumanzoo** · 06-17-2008, 12:31 AM

As a mother, I think I would probably be embarrassed if someone yelled at my child. On the other hand, as a mother, there is no way I would be letting my child do something as dangerous as putting a plastic bag over a young ones' head!

You did the right thing by stopping it.

**AmyMCGS** · 06-17-2008, 12:35 AM

As a mother I would be mad if someone yelled at my child, but, if my child was in a position like that (which I can't imagine, but then again, it would only take a second if my eyes were on the scanner) I would appreciate the thought behind the yelling.

**Jskell911** · 06-17-2008, 06:12 AM

Originally Posted by Tater

You're not a horrible person. If the mom is too ignorant or uncaring to stop her oldest child from putting her youngest child in REAL danger, someone should step in. Maybe the next time the oldest child thinks about doing that, she will think twice. At least now she knows its a bad thing to do.

Now, personally, if a stranger were to yell at my child in a store, I would be pi$$ed. Of course, MY child knows better than to put plastic bags over her little sister's head!! AND I watch my children more closely, obviously, than that mother, so they probably wouldn't be in a position to NEED to be yelled at by a stranger.

You probably saved the kid from being suffocated.

Don't think I could've said it better! No, OP is a wonderful person for caring about another's child! Great job. AND Yes, I would be so very upset if another reprimanded my child. But, again, I keep a better eye on my child, and he is aware of these kind of safety issues.

**joyofsix** · 06-17-2008, 06:41 AM

You're not terrible. You're a concerned person. The world needs more of them. The mother was an idiot and for the record, feel free to yell at any of mine that are being that DUMB! Of course, I would have NOTICED them acting like idiots I hope. The world worked better when adults felt free to correct other's kids, JMHO.

**Michelle** · 06-17-2008, 06:59 AM

I would have appreciated a parent stopping my children from doing something dangerous.

However, calling CPS is going a bit overboard. There are times when it's not possible to have your eyes on a child *every* second (using a PP's example: watching the scanner to make sure prices ring up properly).

**Lady_V** · 06-17-2008, 07:54 AM

Oh you horrid, awful, cruel brute of a woman... what were you thinking??? You saved a child's life... How Dare You!

Yes, full sarcasm there!!!

As a Momma... I would turn 5 shades of red if someone had to speak to DD... not because someone spoke to her, but because someone HAD to. I am constantly being "Mom" to the kids in my complex, and I don't even second guess myself if it keeps the kiddo from getting run over by a car.

**momof42003** · 06-17-2008, 08:02 AM

I would not have been mad at you, I would have been mad at my child. I would have thanked you... I have had people in the past 14 years say something about one of my kids, and you know what I NEEDED them to say something... I usually say "don't worry, they probably needed to hear that." Don't beat yourself up about it.. YOU DID GOOD!

**staciah** · 06-17-2008, 08:05 AM

Originally Posted by Michelle

I would have appreciated a parent stopping my children from doing something dangerous.

However, calling CPS is going a bit overboard. There are times when it's not possible to have your eyes on a child *every* second (using a PP's example: watching the scanner to make sure prices ring up properly).

I agree. Well said.

**Jeanna** · 06-17-2008, 09:16 AM

I do believe you were right in stepping in, however you could have done it in a little gentler. It is always best to stop and look the child in the eye and tell them not to do something and then explain why. It takes a little longer but it does stick with them that way. My children know I am mad and they are in trouble when I start speaking very quietly. It really makes them stop and listen.

**Moor** · 06-17-2008, 09:26 AM

great job!
in my neighborhood, there are few kids. but most of them know me and when i say something to them, i also go and tell the parent, so that there is no situation rising from it. but all of the parents know that i won't say something unless the child is doing something that will get them or someone else hurt.
so don't beat yourself up. and just keep looking out. you might save another kid someday!

**Jayne** · 06-17-2008, 09:26 AM

you did the right thing

wtg.........hopefully the mother will be more careful

**Momto2Boyz** · 06-17-2008, 09:32 AM

If I had been that mother, I would have thanked you for yelling at my child. Becuase the only way that would have happened on my watch, is if I had been preoccupied and not paying attention to them. So I would have been happy that you called my attention to it.

Sometimes I am surprised by some parents like that. That is one of the basic rules of child-rearing.... Do not let them play with bags. It's like telling them to play in traffic...you just don't do it.

Here is a story along these lines. We had our garage sale last weekend and a family stopped to buy my son's power wheels. The little boy was about 3 or so. DH and I were helping them put the thing in the car, and they had explained they had been camping all weekend. Well, the little boy comes out of the car with a sparkler (firework). Two seconds later, he runs back to the car and gets a lighter. Dh and I are exchanging glances this whole time thinking the worst about these parents. The little boy is standing there trying to light this thing and finally, when I couldn't take it anymore I said (very nicely)..."maybe you should have your Dad help you with that!" Dad turns around, and OMG, that little boy was in T-R-O-U-B-L-E. I felt bad for getting him in trouble (he got a spankin' right there on the side of the road). But I didn't want him to hurt yourself.

Don't fell bad about what you did at all. You gave that child a clear message that it was dangerous, and maybe she won't do it again.

**rachelMcK** · 06-17-2008, 09:35 AM

I had something similar to this happen to me. I work in a sports store and as I was putting away stock I noticed a little girl, maybe not even two by herself trying to get on a bike. I looked around and saw noone in my sight, not one person. As I was looking the girl tipped the bike on herself and started crying so I went up to her and helped her, I stood there for a while and even with the girl screaming, no one came. So I picked her up and took her to the front entrance (my boss watched the whole thing) and paged for the parents. Nothing. Now, i was left in a convenience store when I was 4 (on purpose), so this kind of thing really upsets me. I was livid that someone would do this. The front entrance opens to the rest of the mall and coming out of zellers was a guy yelling at me to put his daughter down. He walks over and starts flipping because she was crying. He told me he left her at the bikes because he didn't want her to see her birthday present he needed to pick up at another store. He LEFT his child in a huge department store, to go to another one, ON PURPOSE!!! I can't remember exactly what I said to him, but I flipped. He told my boss I should be fired, but my boss, luckily sided with me. Sorry this has more to do with the parents than yelling at a child, but it just shows how stupid some parents can be to let a child put a plastic bag over anothers head. Some people are idiots, truly.
You did the right thing. You shouldn't care that she was upset.