In the Middle of Your Muddles

**forHISglory** · 07-11-2008, 12:17 PM

More than likely, we've all blown the budget, made our stupid money mistakes, and regretted some financial decisions. Hopefully, we learn and go on.

But what excuses go thru your mind while in the middle of your muddles?

For example, years ago I bought a red dress. We were living very tightly and had some debt. I did not need a new dress, but I bought it anyway. My excuse was that I deserved it. That I had been working hard and needed something to lift my spirits. And that's all it was: just an excuse for my lack of discernment. What's worse, I ended up not really liking the dress and didn't wear it much. Every time I think of that red dress, I kick myself. But I guess the memory helps to deter me from other stupid moves.

My friend always wanted big fountain drinks, the quart size. When she wanted something to drink, she didn't drink what was at home; she drove to the gas station and got the quart fountain drink. At the same time, she was struggling financially. Her excuse was that nothing else tasted good. But that habit was costing her almost $10 a day! Finally, she began thinking about her vision for her future. She saw that $50 a week for something to drink was ridiculous. And that she was just using an excuse of something tasting good. She got serious about her budget and found other ways to save money. Today she owns her own home, has very little debt, and is saving aggresively for her retirement. She just had to realize what her excuses were.

I know a young man who is up to his eyeballs in debt and foreclosure. His phone and electric and other basics are always being turned off. He lives paycheck to paycheck and is constantly finding people from whom to borrow (and never pays them back). Bottom line: total financial irresponsibility. So he goes out and gets a tattoo and buys a lot of fireworks for the 4th of July. What a waste! Anyway, his excuse is that just because he is poor doesn't mean that he should have to do without celebrating the 4th. And that it is unfair that others can get a tattoo, but that he should not just because he's poor. As long as he is nurturing his excuses, he probably will never do better.

I saw an article on the news about welfare recipients who use the food stamps/vouchers for luxury items and then run out of food before the end of the month. One of them said that just because she was poor didn't mean that she didn't have the right to eat steak and lobster like everyone else. In my mind, food stamps exist for a very good purpose, and it bugs me to see it misused and then see people who misuse it whine about it not being enough. (I don't want to see this thread turn into a rant about food stamps. This was just an example of excuses.)

Do you have excuses that you use to justify bad financial decisions? What are you learning? Do you see others in the same boat? How did you overcome your excuses?

By the way, I kept the red dress hanging in my closet for years to remind me of my futile excuse.

**Russ** · 07-11-2008, 12:19 PM

My favorite excuses:
I deserve it, I work hard.
I can't take it with me.
You only live once.

My stupidist excuse....... screw it. never give it another thought.

**treeluva** · 07-11-2008, 12:46 PM

My excuses......

or my rationalizations....

"It'll only take me xx amount of pay periods to pay that off"

then when the bills comes...

"its only xx amount a month. I need my money in my checking account. Who knows what will happen next week?"

Mainly, my spending comes (came) from feeling guilty. I feel guilty if my children don't have things that other children have. (I am not talking about TV's and iPods. They do not have those. Its mainly clothes, toys, trips to the waterpark, Chuck E Cheeses, etc.) That guilt is something I really need to reign in.

**redhead68** · 07-11-2008, 01:22 PM

My usual excuse for poor financial decisions: I didn't have time to plan, followed shortly by the question, "Where are we going to eat dinner this evening?"

**peanut** · 07-11-2008, 01:57 PM

My excuses in my muddle...sigh...well I don't really think...It's usually somewhat along the lines of "Oh it's so beautiful...I want it!...and I deserve something nice for once." Now I've got a home full of nice stuff, and no nice furniture to put it on/in. Because we could never afford nice furniture!

Jean

**itsahumanzoo** · 07-11-2008, 02:06 PM

I try not to make excuses for my actions, but my most used one is that I thought we had the money.

Yeah, without a budget written out I tend to think I have a lot more money than I do. I'm working on it.

**DonnainME** · 07-11-2008, 02:25 PM

I do make excuses for things. But it's kinda hard to do ANYTHING when you don't have money at all. I almost wasted $15 the other day because we were away from home and I wanted to get something to eat. We were going home next. It was 12:30 and I could wait until we got home. I was not happy but now that I think back I'm glad we didn't eat out.

**forHISglory** · 07-11-2008, 02:43 PM

Another excuse (one of many):

"I might need this. Better buy it now. Better still, buy two now." I have a lot of those twins sitting around the house. Sigh......

And when I am out and about and get tired, I rationalize that I need a pick-me-up. So I'll stop for coffee or get something to eat. Ya know, I could go home and do the same for free. Or I could plan ahead and take something with me to munch.

Oh my. I live in the middle of excuses, but I do think I'm getting better.

**prftstrngr** · 07-11-2008, 03:28 PM

I have spent money because I felt guilty my son didnt have things. Having done that for him....he is now having a very difficult time adjusting to my husband being unemployed and me NOT having the money to buy him what he wanted. At 16 he understands the situation...but he is still essentially a kid and wants things his friends have and even though he has a job wants mom to buy them! Which....makes me feel guilty again. So yeah....guilt is definately an excuse for me. I have also used....I deserve it....and I work hard.

**meanestmom** · 07-11-2008, 05:03 PM

I used to use the excuse I deserve it, but since dh and I have been getting an allowance for the last few years, I really don't overspend anymore. I mostly save my money, right now I have around $450 in my own savings, so I don't feel deprived when I make the choice not to buy something. I think knowing I can have it if I want it is just as good or better than actually having it.

The few purchases I have saved for, are a laptop, and my dog. Now that I have both of those, there's not much else I ever want. Just the occasional candle or bubble bath, scented lotion, etc.

**amanjud** · 07-11-2008, 11:43 PM

My muddles usually come around tax time and I think, "well look at all this money in the checking acct. A few bucks won't hurt." Then before you know it, it's all gone. I'm gonna try not to do that this year!

**treeluva** · 07-12-2008, 04:13 AM

Originally Posted by amanjud

My muddles usually come around tax time and I think, "well look at all this money in the checking acct. A few bucks won't hurt." Then before you know it, it's all gone. I'm gonna try not to do that this year!

I have done that as well... it was like I spent it before I even had it! This year I actually used every cent of my tax return towards debt, but then I went and charged twice as much as I paid. Dumb!

**Jskell911** · 07-12-2008, 11:12 PM

I never seem to blow it on anything expensive. It's those little things that eat up my savings. I too suffer from the "Oh, it's only a couple bucks and we have some extra right now" syndrome. But I am getting so much better!