I Want To Stay Home!!!!

[jolenegreen2]

I have been soooo miserable latley! I really want to stay home with our children! The prices in NY are going up soooo high I dont ever see myself doing this. Its horrible! I always pictured myself being home and being able to raise my kids while hubby worked. Well it didnt end up that way...here I am working 40 hours a week OUT of the home, overnights and hating it! I REALLY would love to stay home with the kids....I am starting to homeschool in Sept and I really feel that the kids need me here....we have another baby comming in Augest as well.
We are pretty lucky as far as paying for a babysitter. We dont have to pay one, MIL takes them overnight while we work and only asks we buy pullups for our youngest.
Can anybody give me some tips on how to cut down bills or what to slash out? What bills I need to keep and think about keeping to add to our budget? Any ideas at all?


Here is our Budget: Monthly

Van Payment: $306
Motorcycle Payment: $215
Vehicle Gas: $200 a month sometimes more...there is no cut in this as we both work together so we save on Gas
Vehicle Insurance: $195
Electric: $40
Water: $55
Gas: $200, $300 in winter
telephone/cable/Internet- 3 in one package deal which is $140 a month. I could cut movie channel costs...but keep cable or I could cut cable all together. I def want to keep internet and phone though.
Mortgage: $540 this includes escoroll
Groceries: We dont have a currant grocery bill, we waste alot of money here. We either eat take out or plan the last minute. Tonite we had chicken salads and it cost me $40 becuase I went to the store the last min, SUCKED!@

Thanks to anyone who can help me out. I mentioned to hubby I was making a budget and he said "DONT FORGET: I need to start saving for a $5000 emergancy budget and once a yr I have to pay for tires and regisration etc...BLAH BLAH BLAH!

[Gabe]

Get rid of the bike.
(My 2 cents)

[macemesmum]

Ok so you said you are going to be homeschooling in sept does that mean you will be staying home then? If so I would advise to try and live off one income until that date to see how hard or doable it is. Firstly you must do a grocery budget and stick to it, you could save thousands by sept by doing this, it really depends how much you want it, I stay home and my earning capacity is double what my husbands is ( I was a lawyer) we now earn a small amount but get by just fine. We look at every cent as potential savings, ie ask yourself these questions, can i borrow this book from the library rather than buy it? Does my child really NEED that item of clothes or can they make do with what they have? Can I make some of the items in my pantry from scratch and save loads of money? Do I need to drive to that spot today or can I combine with an errand another day? Only visit grocery store once a month, how many times do you look in cupboard and say there is nothing to eat when in reality it is half full? Turn off all lights and appliances when not in use. Take your children to the park and library activites anything that is free, trust me they will value the time you spend with them more than your money on toys. Sell some baby clothes that dont fit ie garage sale or ebay. Do you need the van and the motorcycle, what is the public transport like where you are, can one of you take the bus as opposed to driving? Can you do without going to gyms, hairdressers, nail salons, movies, and other extracurricular activities. Ok we are off on a holiday at the end of the year and at first I didnt think we could save for it now I am saving so much because my husband said to if we needed to come up with money to buy our child life saving medicine in our case he said $1000 a month could you? I said obviously yes and he said how and i said i would cut anything and everything and I did, it can be done good luck

[jolenegreen2]

Ok so you said you are going to be homeschooling in sept does that mean you will be staying home then? If so I would advise to try and live off one income until that date to see how hard or doable it is. Firstly you must do a grocery budget and stick to it, you could save thousands by sept by doing this, it really depends how much you want it, I stay home and my earning capacity is double what my husbands is ( I was a lawyer) we now earn a small amount but get by just fine. We look at every cent as potential savings, ie ask yourself these questions, can i borrow this book from the library rather than buy it? Does my child really NEED that item of clothes or can they make do with what they have? Can I make some of the items in my pantry from scratch and save loads of money? Do I need to drive to that spot today or can I combine with an errand another day? Only visit grocery store once a month, how many times do you look in cupboard and say there is nothing to eat when in reality it is half full? Turn off all lights and appliances when not in use. Take your children to the park and library activites anything that is free, trust me they will value the time you spend with them more than your money on toys. Sell some baby clothes that dont fit ie garage sale or ebay. Do you need the van and the motorcycle, what is the public transport like where you are, can one of you take the bus as opposed to driving? Can you do without going to gyms, hairdressers, nail salons, movies, and other extracurricular activities. Ok we are off on a holiday at the end of the year and at first I didnt think we could save for it now I am saving so much because my husband said to if we needed to come up with money to buy our child life saving medicine in our case he said $1000 a month could you? I said obviously yes and he said how and i said i would cut anything and everything and I did, it can be done good luck

Thanks for the tips! Unfortunetly I wont be staying home. I will STILL (ugh) be working overnights 40 hours a week. The only reason I am able to homeschool is becuase I put together a really great plan for my days.

Also- we cant get rid of the van..we really need it and hubby thought he needed the motorcycle (WHATEVER!). They are both new and we are still making the payments. There is no public transportation where I live. We live in a small town in hicksville NY...LOL. really. But all your other suggestions were great. The only problem is there arent really any extras...only food and I DEFINATLEY agree with you on how much I could save! But as far as things like manicure, movies, or any extra activites. NONE> Boring life I lead I know. LOL

[jolenegreen2]

Ya know....forget it. I just added everything up. UGH! Everything except telephone, cable and internet equals up to $1796. Almost $1800 a MONTH! YIKES! Hubby only brings in $1200 a month. And that is cutting the cable, phone and internet. I dont think we would EVER beable to cut anythign else down. That is also without any grocery money either. NY SUCKS!

[Greebo]

Sell the and the bike, buy a beater van you can pay cash for, and never ever buy a new car or bike again till you have a million dollars. Driving 30% of the value off the lot isn't worth it for the monthly stress.

You haven't said what your income is, so its hard to judge for sure, but if you want to stay home, then your income is zero.

In which case your husbands entire income less $100 is going to go for house and cars. You can't afford that. If you are barely making ends meet now, then your income is around what, $650? $700?

Do the math: You are paying almost as much for your vehicles as you are for your house!!! You can not afford to keep those vehicles, and with hubby bringing home $1200 a month, you're in poverty.

You need to keep working until your income crisis gets fixed.

What work do you do, and what work does hubby do?

[Pemberleyan]

I think Greebo has given you some great advice. It might be challenging, even painful, but worth it in the long run.

I think this website will be encouraging:

http://www.miserlymoms.com/

[Jessesbride]

I Want To Stay Home!!!!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have been soooo miserable latley! I really want to stay home with our children! The prices in NY are going up soooo high I dont ever see myself doing this. Its horrible! I always pictured myself being home and being able to raise my kids while hubby worked. Well it didnt end up that way...here I am working 40 hours a week OUT of the home, overnights and hating it! I REALLY would love to stay home with the kids....I am starting to homeschool in Sept and I really feel that the kids need me here....we have another baby comming in Augest as well.
We are pretty lucky as far as paying for a babysitter. We dont have to pay one, MIL takes them overnight while we work and only asks we buy pullups for our youngest.
Can anybody give me some tips on how to cut down bills or what to slash out? What bills I need to keep and think about keeping to add to our budget? Any ideas at all?


Here is our Budget: Monthly

Van Payment: $306
Motorcycle Payment: $215
Vehicle Gas: $200 a month sometimes more...there is no cut in this as we both work together so we save on Gas
Vehicle Insurance: $195
Electric: $40
Water: $55
Gas: $200, $300 in winter
telephone/cable/Internet- 3 in one package deal which is $140 a month. I could cut movie channel costs...but keep cable or I could cut cable all together. I def want to keep internet and phone though.
Mortgage: $540 this includes escoroll
Groceries: We dont have a currant grocery bill, we waste alot of money here. We either eat take out or plan the last minute. Tonite we had chicken salads and it cost me $40 becuase I went to the store the last min, SUCKED!@

Thanks to anyone who can help me out. I mentioned to hubby I was making a budget and he said "DONT FORGET: I need to start saving for a $5000 emergancy budget and once a yr I have to pay for tires and regisration etc...BLAH BLAH BLAH!
__________________
JOLENE


Ok... first off! Take a DEEP BREATHE! There are certainly things that you can do!

Start off, with a weekly or bi-weekly meal plan! have your family help you! You can MAKE things WAY WAY cheaper than buying them! Spaghetti (I use 1/2white noodles & 1/2 wheat noodles to add to fiber content) or Jam chicken is another really good, nutritous & cheap meal esp put with veggies & rice. go thru your cookbooks & see what you might want to try or make for a meal once a week or so. If you find you don't have a couple of the ingredients, buy those when you have the $$ or "build up to it" w/in a few weeks. The sky really is the limit when it comes to recipes etc. Before you know it, you will be a pro at it & you won't be running out to get take out or to run to the store at the last minute! Make dessert special... like once a week or twice a month or something like that. or use fruit as your dessert... maybe in some yogurt. Sometimes we will make waffles (or get the store bought low fat/low calorie ones) & instead of putting syrup on it, I put organic apple butter or jam on it. cheaper on the budget & the waistline!

What about cutting the cable movie channels? or cable all together & yes, just use rabbit ears or whatever? Have you thought about netflix? 3 movies at a time, costs less than $20/month & you don't have late fees ~EVER & can keep the movies as long as you want or send it back & keep 2 etc. This is great! you can also get FREE movies by checking them out at your local library, tho ours you have to wait awhile to get the newer stuff (& netflix, as soon as it comes out on dvd you can get it)!

Take 10-15 min. showers, hang up clothes to dry, keep heat down & bundle up more in the winter ~ but not so cold that you see your breathe! THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX!

How long before the van or the motorcycle is paid off... also put any savings that you have from changing your lifestyle (from above, etc) into SAVINGS! Build up your eme funds & pay off all debts... start using cash instead of debit cards or credit cards. put your change in a change jar & once it is full, take it to savings or do something fun with the family!

IT WILL HAPPEN as long as you change your HABITS! Hang in there Girl! & keep coming back to frugal village & take up with the advise THAT YOU CAN LIVE WITH! Also, scour the internet for frugal living, like frugalnomics, cheap living, frugal families, etc advise, tips & such. Have you checked out the book... um can't think of it but they are called the family... I think the economides? family of 5 or 6 that stayed out of debt & have an awesome legacy! you should really check it out! Also, a book that you might also check out is ANYTHING from Dave Ramsey! Financial Peace is taught at MOST churches & I want to say that it costs about $80-$100? but so well worth it! BUT you can also READ the books from the library & it's pretty much the same info! That's about all I can think of at the moment!

OH & one more thing... do you garden? do you have room for one or have a friend who has room for one? you could have a garden (or one at a friends house & split the work & the produce!) & get the whole family involved! KIDS LOVE TO WORK IN THE GARDEN! my 11 1/2 yr old LOVES LOVES LOVES helping to build & take care of the garden & babying it & eating from it! He even brags to his friends about "our garden!" lol! ok...now I'm really done! Take care & let us know what changes etc you've made & how it has affected your family!

Kim

[PrairieRose]

My best suggestion would be to take a few minutes (or really at least an hour) in a quiet place....a pen, a piece of paper and write down exactly what you want your life to be like in the present tense as if it already were. For example; "I am so happy and thankful that I am able to stay at home with my children to take care of them, to homeschool them, to spend valuable time with them.....I am happy to be at home, taking care of the house, our money, our family", etc....write it down in minute detail. "My days are happily spent tending to the children, the house, cooking, planning menu's, finding ways to save money....I find contentment in taking care of my family." Also write down that your bills are easily paid, your taxes, your insurance, your home repairs, etc....are all easily paid. If you will spend some time writing out your 'dream life', you will begin to work towards making it happen. Most of us simply don't know what we want, but we're upset we're not getting it . Seriously this works wonders. Try it. Oh and read the book "Your Best Life Now" by Joel Osteen and any books you can find like "Think and Grow Rich". If you'd like to talk more about this PM me.... in the meantime, concentrate on what you want out of life, not what you don't want.......

[Clutterbug Jen]

Great advice from everyone here ... not sure what I could add.

To me, one of the best pieces of advice I saw was about seeing if you could maybe somehow trade-in [or sell] the motorcycle and the van and then get something reliable to drive that you wouldn't have high payments on, if any payments at all.

I'd think those two alone could help to cut out alot of your debt.

Then too ... if you were home, you'd be able to plan meals and wouldn't be going out to eat [that adds up way to way too much and does it fast!]

My daughter is a nurse but when all was said and done, it come down to the amount earned verses stress level for everyone, etc.

She did quit working and did all of these things mentioned so it is possible. [There is hope, honey!]

Love,

Jen

[blitzen]

Sell the and the bike, buy a beater van you can pay cash for, and never ever buy a new car or bike again till you have a million dollars. Driving 30% of the value off the lot isn't worth it for the monthly stress.

You haven't said what your income is, so its hard to judge for sure, but if you want to stay home, then your income is zero.

In which case your husbands entire income less $100 is going to go for house and cars. You can't afford that. If you are barely making ends meet now, then your income is around what, $650? $700?

Do the math: You are paying almost as much for your vehicles as you are for your house!!! You can not afford to keep those vehicles, and with hubby bringing home $1200 a month, you're in poverty.

You need to keep working until your income crisis gets fixed.

What work do you do, and what work does hubby do?

I second all that!

[jolenegreen2]

Sell the and the bike, buy a beater van you can pay cash for, and never ever buy a new car or bike again till you have a million dollars. Driving 30% of the value off the lot isn't worth it for the monthly stress.

You haven't said what your income is, so its hard to judge for sure, but if you want to stay home, then your income is zero.

In which case your husbands entire income less $100 is going to go for house and cars. You can't afford that. If you are barely making ends meet now, then your income is around what, $650? $700?

Do the math: You are paying almost as much for your vehicles as you are for your house!!! You can not afford to keep those vehicles, and with hubby bringing home $1200 a month, you're in poverty.

You need to keep working until your income crisis gets fixed.

What work do you do, and what work does hubby do?

My income is about $1000 a month. So together we bring in $2200 a month. I have to keep my vehicles...there is no way in getting a junker. Hubby said he rather pay payment on a newer vehicle than having to waste money fixing up an old junker all the time. Cant argue with him about the motorcycle either....Trust me I tried and he got it anyways!!!!!

[larabelle]

Oh Jolene, I understand your wish to stay home with your children...but it sounds like your spouse is not in agreement with you all making the sacrifices to do so. He does not want to sell the van and motorcycle and buy a used vehicle with cash....well then he is really not going to like my suggestions. However here they are:
1.) Sell the van and motorcycle and buy a used vehicle with cash
2.) Sell the house and move into a cheap apartment
3.) Drop the cable/internet and get the cheapest telephone plan possible. Use the internet at the library.

[ironmaiden]

Ummm... adding it up I get $2000 a month.
That doesn't include: groceries, house maintenance, clothing, shoes, haircuts, gifts for birthdays, friends, family, kiddie parties, Xmas, health and beauty products (including those pull-ups), toys, kid classes, house insurance, medical expenses, hobbies, takeout, restaurants, entertainment, oil changes, life insurance, disability insurance, car inspections, charitible giving, water & sewage. Plus there is no monthly savings mentioned.

Are you sure you are making it each month as it is now?

Some people don't realize that their income exceeds their outgo when they charge a little more each month or their bank account slowly goes down a bit each month.

[rudypoo98]

I would get the grocery bill down and everything else I could and build up an emergency fund.After that pay extra every month on the van and cycle, get them paid off as soon as you can.Then you can probably stay home it will just take you longer to do it.By buying the van new and keeping it a long time you will know it's history and can probably make it last longer by taking good care of it.Your DH can save gas in summer by riding the bike to work when you get things so you can stay home.I was 34 by the time I got things where I could stay home.Also I got the house paid off alot alot sooner by paying more each month on it and saved over 8,000 in interest.I did this from the 1st payment on it and still made double payments after I started staying home.I would keep the motorcycle because men need their toys and someday he'll probably get tired of it and want to sell it.I had a motorcycle for years and got tired of riding it and sold it.Besides if both the van and cycle are new you probably won't get enough out of them to have money left after paying them off.