I don't know where this goes - really unhappy right now..

**hugxlaughxsmilexlove** · 07-15-2008, 04:00 PM

Info: I'm a SAHM. My oldest is almost 4, my youngest is 18 months and I am due Oct 12 with another - all girls. My husband works his butt off everyday (including weekends) and we have one car.

A few weeks ago my truck needed a new fuel pump - ok, cool. Already have one of those because my husband is an auto body/mechanic/everything else guy.. so he just took one off another truck we have.. hasn't had the time to put it on yet - ok, cool.. I get the car when I need to work (I do an in-home adult party plan on the weekends)..

He hasn't gotten paid in four weeks. The shop he is working for just opening a few months ago and they weren't smart enough to have money available for payday for their employees.. payday is FINALLY coming on Monday (hopefully - it was supposed to be on July 4, right before we went camping at the beach (that didn't happen) and June 20th (didn't happen), somehow managed our $1100 mortgage payment on the last date - June 30th - because it's in my parents name and in mine, not hubbys) Because they haven't been able to pay him on AGREED days - we have NSF fee's from things that come out automatically.. health insurance ($160) and the car insurance ($160).. it's not OUR fault, the shop should have to pay my $60 fee's, right? (lucky for me and my side job - we could afford to pay for them to keep the fees from coming EVERYday) And my mortgage payment was late - another $45 fee, NOT MY FAULT!!

I'm ready to literally lose my mind. Being almost 8 months pregnant with two toddlers and living in the middle of nowhere - we have bugs SO bad right now.. everysingletime we go outside to play - they're just eaten alive. So we don't go outside too much, at all. Stupid swamp/country living. We have the same routine everyday. EVERYDAY!!! We've tried different things, switched toys, yadda yadda.. Read every kids book we own (which is WAY more than I ever thought possible), movies, games.. it's getting old. Not having a car right now to just GET OUT when I NEED to.. getting old. Not getting paid.. getting old.

I've been able to feed us, thank the gods, with doing my parties but they're slowly "stopping" as I am getting ready to have a baby. I can't take this.. my husband doesn't "get" that I just need to get out.. whether its to a store to look around (I dont care, I know when I need something and when I dont.. now, ignore my CCs), go to the park.. visit a friend or grandma.. whatever.

He called me a cry baby today because I called the shop and wanted to come get the car (my mom is going to pick us up, she bought my oldest a bike for grandmas house about a week ago and we just can't keep secrets for too long).. what do I need the car for? What the heck does he need the car for when he's apparently working 120 hours a week and it's just sitting there anyways.. wear and tear, whatever, I don't care, you work at a shop and get good deals and do it yourself, fix it if it breaks, I'm going INSANE over here.

My husband goes into work by 8:00 everyday. Comes home around 7:00 for an hour (if we're lucky) and goes back to work at bedtime (8:00). He usually doesn't come home until about 1:00.. sometimes 3:00 or 4:00. Then does it all again. I write down his hours and compare them to his checks, I'm sneaky. He's really working. Supposed to get paid every two weeks, 40 hours a week at $20 an hour. Agreed to a bi-weekly pay of $1600. Sweet. On the 25th of every month he gets an overtime check.. which is usually a lot of money but he buys tools/pays them, blah blah blah.. we're bad spenders but are working on it when I see any sort of income.

I can't do my real budget when the paydays are all screwed up and that is stressing me out along with everything else.

Oh, BTW.. I just needed to vent.. aside from my awesome mom.. I have NO adult communication during the week whatsoever. Nothing. I have an online journal, my customers and.. this board.

What can I possibly do to keep from losing my mind? I live in Michigan as well.. after I have this baby.. we're inside. Newborn, two toddlers and always snowing. My husband is never home and I am scared for myself.. I feel like I'm digging a hole into depression or something.

As for money.. if my husband EVER gets paid, I've put a foot down so we can pay off our debt instead of ignoring it.. I based everything on two bi-weekly payments of $1600, $3200 a month. Yeah, can seriously live on that, trying to be a lot more frugal so I can pay everything off faster.. whatever his overtime is, I dont even care.. I just want payments, uggg!

And a life.. anyone have some positive energy to throw my way? I know that was a lot of mumble gumbo.. have to vent somewhere and my journal wasn't cutting it anymore.

**Dobby** · 07-15-2008, 04:10 PM

I'm sorry to hear about all the stress you're going through.

I really have no advice...I hope you can talk some sense into your husband. They really have no concept about what it means to be stuck at home with no adults to talk to, and no variety to life.

**itsahumanzoo** · 07-15-2008, 04:13 PM

First of all. He needs to be getting paid. You can't run a business and not pay your employees. It's illegal!

Secondly, I'm sorry you're having to deal with all that. It's a lot of stress for one person to handle on their own.

**frugalandsimple** · 07-15-2008, 04:14 PM

(((hugs))) I sent you a PM

**chettasmom** · 07-15-2008, 04:14 PM

Sounds like you got a basket full of issues..but it sounds like you've got a pretty good grip on them for right now..try not to stress too much because you know that affects babies and children..aside from doing the obvious play time activities with your kids, why don't you have them make play caves out of blankets and chairs, sew dolly clothes (I used to do this with old clothes that I could use as material), let them help you cook, make cookies etc..just other things to keep them busy..I realize you're VERY pregnant, but you can shut your tv off and pretend you're camping!..I know it sounds cheesy but kids love that stuff...have them make things for their upcoming baby sister-draw pictures, make a book for her etc..the bills are something that everyone has....your husband sounds like he's working pretty hard and it's awesome that you get to stay home..I doubt you'll ever get his shop to pay your over due fees..so don't stress over it. Just make sure you stay {{{{cooolllll}}}}}..spend every minute with your kids because once the new one is born you'll be busy busy busy! Good luck!

**suki** · 07-15-2008, 04:15 PM

Lots of positive energy coming your way!

I remember days like that. It's hard.

Hubby is only working 40 hours a week??? It sounds like much more, or does he have 2 jobs?

Okay... ideas to break the monotony... can't go outside? hmmmm That's tough. I'd try to do something about the bugs. Burt's Bees has a great insect repellent that is all natural and works pretty well for us. Citronella candles.

Hmmmm... I'm still stuck here. I'm sure you'll get some great suggestions. But, in the meantime, venting is good.

**FrugalMomof3** · 07-15-2008, 04:21 PM

I am sorry you are stressing out right now but please take it easy for you, your children and the unborn baby.

2nd, DH needs to get paid, what does he expect you guys to live off of if he isn't bringing home any money? I think you need to talk to DH about you possibly getting out, I mean once the baby comes you wont have much time for yourself.

Sending you big hugs and prayers and let us know how things turn out with the paycheck.

**hugxlaughxsmilexlove** · 07-15-2008, 04:22 PM

Originally Posted by suki

Lots of positive energy coming your way!

I remember days like that. It's hard.

Hubby is only working 40 hours a week??? It sounds like much more, or does he have 2 jobs?

His bi-weekly pay is based on only 40 hours a week so we get the $1600 every other week.. his overtime is paid on the 25th with another check.. usually ends up with 120+ overtime hours for the month.. it's LIKE he's working two jobs. 12 hours days, Saturday/Sunday are usually half days but then he's working on side jobs.. sometimes at home since we have a shop here or at his dads, an hour away.. bleh

**AmyBoz** · 07-15-2008, 04:30 PM

No advice...just an acknowledgement that you are in a sucky situation and

and hopes that things get better!

**hugxlaughxsmilexlove** · 07-15-2008, 04:30 PM

Originally Posted by itsahumanzoo

First of all. He needs to be getting paid. You can't run a business and not pay your employees. It's illegal!

He definitely needs to get paid. He got laid off in October for 6 months and a really good friend of ours opened a shop with a friend of his, we call him the "money man" - got everything up and running but didn't put aside 6 months of extra pay, etc like a business person SHOULD do (I worked as a Secretary for two years at the shop he got laid off from, I know my stuff because I am the one who did all of the paperwork and organizing)

Anyways... so the owner of the shop has been a really good friend of hubbys for 15+ years and of mine for 4+ years.. he won't do anything to get them into any trouble because "money is coming".. pffft. They will give him $20 (if they even HAVE it) for diapers and milk when we need it or gas money and buy him lunch.. but it's not the same as getting a huge chunk of change when you should be. It's annoying, I can't stand it and MY income is supposed to be for new baby things.. I feel like we're getting NO where this month with my income and baby needs.. 12 weeks to go, stressing myself out..

And someone said I probably won't get them to pay my fee's.. I will, trust me. Otherwise I will be the one calling them in, I can't take it anymore and they KNOW me and I am NOT a nice person when someone screws my family over.. and this has been a huge strew over, otherwise I wouldn't be venting like crazy about it, lol..

Never make a pregnant woman mad! Growl!
Or deny her of her cravings.. I could really use a box of EL Double Stuffed Fudge Cookies today

**blitzen** · 07-15-2008, 04:52 PM

Never make a pregnant woman mad! Growl!

Amen to that! People really outta know better!

**geckoace** · 07-15-2008, 05:06 PM

sending big hugs your way

i definitely know what its like to be "stuck" in the house with little ones and no car. DH and I eventually worked it out so that 2 days a week i would drop him at work so we could be anywhere but home, or i was seriously going to lose my mind i think it saved my sanity.

**Momof3girls** · 07-15-2008, 05:10 PM

:wow Just having two toddlers is tough, add that to being pregnant in the hot and humid summer, plus everything else, no wonder you are stressed!

**suebeehoney** · 07-15-2008, 05:19 PM

hey kiddo - keep your chin up! I haven't read through the whole thread yet, but just reading the first page, I had to post.

I can't offer much advice, but please message me if you need to chat - you're on my yahoo list and I'll try to be on tonight if you need to vent some more.
HUGS!

**MoonMommy** · 07-15-2008, 05:46 PM

It sucks being stuck at home. Your mom sounds great.

I have been actively trying to do a "new" craft with my kids each day. Sometimes it is just trying to make something cool out of the recyclables. Today we did paper mache, which is really easy. The kids loved it. Maybe you could get them in the tub and let them blow bubbles? have a "girly" day where you let them do your hair, nails, make-up etc.

I know my kids have loved the crafts, even if they have looked not so great, they have had a blast doing them. Some have taken a lot of time, some not so much.

I made some bowling pins out of the old washed yogurt containers. I just taped one on top of the other with something heavy inside (rocks will work) in order to give them some weight. Then use any ball you have in the house and they can bowl.