Lessons, sports for kids and being frugal

[elphie]

Because we homeschool outside activities are really important for our kids; it is their only opportunity to socialize with other kids. Even so, there are limits to what we do. Our local homeschool group has lots of free activities and we (thankfully) live in a school district that allows our kids to participate in extra curricular activites.

We don't actively encourage or discourage any of their activities; it is completly up to them to decide their priorities. When our kids ask to join an activity we discuss why they are interested, the scheduling, what experience may be like, and the monetary costs. My kids are 8 and 9 and old enough to understand that if they really want dance/karate/guitar lessons then they may have to give something else up to finance it.

We never really talk in terms of "We can't afford it." Instead we are helping them understand that life is full of choices and they will have to learn what their priorities are when it comes to both their time and their money. My kids know the difference between being poor and being financially responsible. When another child told my son we must be poor when he said karate costs too much he responded that no, he justs likes guitar better. What he said next still warms my heart. "We aren't poor, we are rich because we have everything we need and even some things we don't which is more than a lot of people have."

[kimmy4433]

lMAO!!!! I needed that this morning!

[warramra]

Since we homeschool, extracurricular activities are not exactly 'extras' to us. I use an inexpensive curriculum and the library a lot so that we can use more money for other classes, and the grandparents all pick one class they pay for each child during the year. Luckily, a lot of places offer discounts on homeschool (daytime classes) since they use the facility when it would normally be non-revenue producing. And, I search out other free opportunities during the year through a local listserve.

We start with recreational gymnastics around 4 and then rec soccer at 5. Music and art at age 7. This year we will have two in gymnastics, the older one has decided she wants to try fencing so we will give that a go. Dd6 will be playing recreational soccer again, and Dd8 was selected for the next level of soccer so more practices for her. Dd8 will be doing art classes this fall and then return to her piano/guitar lessons after Christmas. I'm looking for an appropriate drama class for Dd6 to participate in. It seems like a lot, but it always seems to work out for us.

[joyofsix]

I have sporty kids. They play community(park)soccer and baseball~$20/season and you can sell candy to defray your costs and they have done school sports which only leaves me to buy shoes. We have let them join band instead of music lessons. This hasn't been too expensive either. I also know there are some scholarships and family reductions available.

[Neeley]

We really love organized sports, lessons and extra curricular activities of all kinds.

Our kids' activity history goes like this:

DD
age 3 - tap, ballet, jazz, MMO, church choir
age 4 - tap ballet, jazz, gymnastics, MMO, church choir
age 5 - swimming, softball
age 6 - swimming, cheerleading
age 7 - voice lessons,
age 8 - voice lessons, church choir
age 9 - cheerleading, church choir
age 10 - basketball
age 12 - karate
age 13 - basketball
age 14 - basketball, volleyball (fall and summer leagues), volunteers at the museum, cooking and sewing lessons, extra curricular class on short stories/literature, extra curricular class on Government
age 15 - basketball, volleyball (fall and summer leagues), volunteers at the museum (255 volunteer hours a year)
Possibly will also be playing fall softball in a month or so.

DS
age 4 - soccer
age 5 - t-ball
age 6 - travel football, baseball, baksetball
age 7 - travel football, baseball
age 8 - travel football, baseball, basketball
age 9 - travel football, baseball
age 10 - travel football, baseball, all-star baseball
age 11 - travel football, baseball, travel baseball, basketball
age 12 - travel football, baseball, travel baseball, all-star baseball, basketball
He just turned 13 and has just started another season of travel football and travel baseball. Baseball, all-star baseball and basketball won't start until later in the year.

We do all of their activities as a family. Many times DH is their coach and I am their team mom. 99% of the time both DH and I are at all practices. If one of us cannot be there, the other is for sure. We never just leave them. Neither of us has never missed a single game. We normally have a practice, game or lesson almost everyday. It keeps us busy, and is really fun.

[ironmaiden]

Cub Scouts is $75 to join and then you sell candy, pay for the trips. I knew of a family that wanted to do it, but didn't have the money. I got them a "scholarship".

We're lucky to have the money to let our kids do what they want. We just work on not overscheduling them.

Also, our town doesn't do anything as a "hobby". Everything is taken too seriously. One woman signed up 2 of her 4 kids for spring baseball and then said that ended up into 7 more places that she had to be each week between practices and games.
Even dance class for elementary kids is 2 or 3 times a week.

I'm steering my son away from hockey as that is way too many practices, games, odd hours, travel (up to an hour away for elementary kids) as well as expensive.

p.s. As I'm typing, the kids are doing legos in the dining room. My son is building a house that has ... a stockpile.

So 8 year old does baseball, Cub Scouts, robotics at the school this fall, Sunday School.
DD-6 will do Brownies, Sunday School and an art class. She's not into sports. The school will offer a list of 6 week afterschool class that they may or may not pick. Last year they did Magic in the fall.

[ironmaiden]

One neighbor whose kids' schedules are completely booked said that she felt it was her duty to expose her kids to as much as possible so that they could find their passion in life.

I don't agree. I'm not trying to raise a professional athlete (don't tell my 8 yo son with major league aspirations this). So I don't believe he needs to be "trained" as such and needs to start at a certain age and be exposed to the "right" people.

Also, alot of kids get burned out before they even hit high school and quit. And alot quit because they aren't the greatest thing since sliced bread afterall. That doing these activities as a "hobby" or accepting that you enjoy doing it even though your simply average is okay, isn't accepted.

My son is adopted Korean. I told him that someday he'll want to do Tae Kwon Do. It may be now, or when he's in middle school, high school or college. But it will be when he WANTS to.

I did karate for 10 years. If anyone stuck me in a karate class in elementary school, I would have been miserable and never tried again. Sometimes it has to do with being at the right time in your life.

My daughter is terribly unathletic. So she'd be miserable in a sports class, so we don't push her in that direction. However, she may grow into her body, or decide that she just wants to try anyway. But it needs to come from her.

Also, I don't want my kids to have a "been there done that attitude" by the time they finish high school.

So we're aiming for a happy medium of letting them enjoy what they want to do (hence lots of baseball this summer), not be overscheduled (my kids get overtired easily and need their free time) and exposing them to things. My daughter did a clay class because her brother does things and I wanted her to have something that was "hers".

And I do believe everybody needs an interest, a hobby, a passion.

[mommyoffive]

I think there's value in sports for kids, but I am a firm believer that the kid needs to really be enthusiastic about it to make it worth your time and money, considering there's usually sports equipment that needs to be purchased as well. There's nothing worse than dropping a bunch of money into something, then having to badger your kid to go to practices and games.

[DJ1972]

DD started taking piano lessons at age 7 and loves it, she also plays the flute in the school band. She has played softball since age 8, and will be starting fall softball for high school in a week. She played basketball until this year and has decided she doesn't want to do that in high school.

DS just finished his last season of baseball, he decided it's no fun anymore because some of the other parents/kids take it soo seriously. His main love is football and he also plays on the little league basketball team.

We waited until our kids were old enough to decide what they wanted to try. Our rule is, if you start the season with the team you will finish the season, you don't have to play next year, but can't just quit on the team during mid season. I also don't push my kids to play anything, I enjoy going to the games but I could live without it.

[rachelj]

Ok, so let me ask this.

Do any of you work extra (whether you or dh) overtime, take extra jobs so that your child(ren) can participate in lessons/sports?

I HATE the pressure that is out there on parents that if you don't sign your kids up for different activities that you aren't giving your kids all that you should. AND this starts in preschool!

For me, family, church and school are more important that all the others. My dh works at a church so our schedule is even more determined by church activities. I can't imagine having to race around with my 2 kids right now to all of the practices etc. My dh would never see the kids if that was the case. Yes, we would go to practice/games/recitals but that is not time with a child. IMHO.

I know that by Middle and High School there are so many activities that my kids will probably want to be involved in and I want that for them. Those activities were some of the best times in high school. But why should I start all of that now??

[Starlight9803]

My DD and DS don't participate in any sports/lessons either right now. DD used to play tball and little league baseball, but when she got to an age where all the teams were competition league she decided to get out of it. She enjoys sports for fun, but not the competition sides of it. (thank goodness because I couldn't afford to run her all over the state for games!!!) DS has never been interested in sports at all. Everything they have been involved in were all county league/recreation league and most were under $20 total. It does get harder to find affordable alternatives once they get older though.

[Neeley]

Do any of you work extra (whether you or dh) overtime, take extra jobs so that your child(ren) can participate in lessons/sports?

I am a SAHM. DH is our wage earner. As a CPA he is able to provide for us very nicely. Their activities do not put a strain on us financially. We budget out $5k per year for all costs involved.

For me, family, church and school are more important that all the others. My dh works at a church so our schedule is even more determined by church activities. I can't imagine having to race around with my 2 kids right now to all of the practices etc. My dh would never see the kids if that was the case.

We homeschool our kids and we are afforded a great amount of flexibility with that alone. Every Wednesday night the children are in church. We live in a community where practices do not take place on Wednesdays except for all-star baseball practice from June to late July. Sunday mornings are church time, but church lets out at 11:00. Our church does not meet on Sunday nights. Sunday afternoon practices do not take aways from church at all. Both sets of grandparents come to basically every one of the kids' games. It is great. Acouple of days a week DH and I get to spend time with our parents while enjoying our kids' games.

Yes, we would go to practice/games/recitals but that is not time with a child. IMHO.

If DH and I were just sitting on the sidelines watching, then I would agree. However, he is normally either their head coach or assistant coach and I am the team mom. We are very hands on with the kids' and their activities. We are out there playing with them, teaching them and spending time together. Basketball is done through our church and a part of each practice DH spends teaching a Bible lesson. As for watching their games, the kids love it. They are so proud to show their grandparents, aunts, uncles and us how well they play whatever sport it is. They know we are watching them perform and love it. They are proud of their accomplishments and showing them off.

The kids' activities do not end on the field. At least one night a week our baseball team has dinner brought in and we all eat as group; parents, kids, siblings and coaches. The kids have water balloon fights, shaving cream battles or play a game of pick-up. At least once each season DH and I take the team (whether it is baseball, volleyball, basketball or baseball) out to dinner on us.

The only activity we are not with our kids is DD's volunteer work at the museum. She goes 2-4 days a week on average and obviously we are not their cheering her on as she lead tours of school age children (she might die of embarrassment if we did). But we do go to the volunteer recognition receptions each year. DH also goes to museum events (receptions, documentary releases, teas)with her as well. These are special "Daddy & Daughter" date nights for them.

But why should I start all of that now??

You should do what you feel is best for you and your family. I am a firm believer in the fact that every family is different and each should live their lives in a way that makes them happy. One person's way of doing things does not make them any better than the next person. JMHO

[my4littlebuffaloes]

Well, when I had 1 or 2 kids I felt like they needed to be in things. At 3 they both started gymnastics. At 4 my ds started sports, but he doesn't do them year round. He is 10 now. He rotates sports and it isn't constant. If you look hard enough you can find sports that only meet once a week, instead of twice. That worked well for us. My younger 2 have been slower to start into things. However I am seeing a need now for them both to be in things and my almost 6 year old will be playing sports this year. He has some special needs and physically as well as socially he needs to be involved in group activities like this. My dd, who is almost 4 will probably start doing gymnastics soon. I think she needs it. She is fairly behind in her gross motor skills and needs something like that to help her catch up.

Use your best judgement and decide what works best for your family. Every child and every family is different.