Wish I could stop "beating" myself over money mistakes

**imagine** · 08-12-2008, 03:21 PM

Thanks everyone.

You have made me feel like I'm not the only one who does this and you have given me so ideas to think about and tools to help bring change.

Thank you

**peanut** · 08-12-2008, 06:45 PM

I'm struggling with this. We have five years till retirement for DH. We've made a lot of financial mistakes that have cost us big bucks. We'll be living off a very poor pension as a result. Not pretty. We'll be selling the house for funds to live on. Thankfully it's worth a bit of money.

Such is life. We screwed up by taking this job and not paying attention to the details. And we screwed up when we bought such a big old house...lots of renos and expenses to run it. BUT, we've learned.

Making amends isn't going to be easy, but there is a plan. And that's what counts right now.

I agree with Greebo, don't beat yourself up over it. Do something about it so it doesn't repeat itself...

Jean

**dancar3** · 08-12-2008, 08:40 PM

I'm sure a bunch of us have made poor money mistakes in the past or some of us might not be one this forum. Also, some of us do forgetful things and waste money by accident.

I am definitey in this group! About 2 weeks ago I was cleaning out my pocketbook (others call it a purse) and saw an old credit card in my wallet....at least I thought it was old. We don't use them anymore so since I had 1 in there, I took a pair of scissors and proceeded to shred it up to smithereens. I then scattered the pieces in different garbage containers throughout the house JUST in case someone could possibly put it back together, yeah right. Anyway, about a few days later, a really really good meat sale starts at one of my local stores and I'm planning on stocking up since I have about $38 left on a Visa gift card my mom gave me a couple of months ago. I'm sure you see where this is going. Yes, that was the one I completely destroyed and I was soooo upset w/ myself thinking how could I do something so dumb. Anyway, after a little while(ok about an hour) I stopped because I realized we're all just human and make mistakes from time to time and it's ok. So I hope you realize you are not the first one to make mistakes and you surely won't be the last..........just try to do the best you can and next time something happens just give yourself a moment to pout and then move on.....it's going to be ok!

**hawkgirl** · 08-13-2008, 01:35 PM

At the risk of oversharing, I have been in a 12-step program for several years, and there I learned to "let go" of my mistakes. Very similar to Greebo's post above. ..

I learned that life is a process, not a destination. In this dimension, there is not going to be some big award ceremony where I am given a prize for doing everything perfectly. My creator will call me a "good and faithful servant" in the next dimension, but He will not call me perfect.

I learned that there are many people who still love me and need me in my imperfection. I learned that I rarely make the same mistake twice. I learned that I can (only when asked) share my experience to help someone else.

As my sponsor says to me, "Get off the cross - that work has been finished."

**G'MaDebbie** · 08-13-2008, 02:39 PM

OMG...I beat myself up every day for not being frugal and using coupons when my kids were younger, life could have been so much easier on me. I was alwyas so stressed about how I was going to afford things for them...if I had only known then what I know now!
I am making it a point to show my daughters how to coupon and make every dollar stretch as far as it can and I think it is working,my oldest daughter called me this morning and wanted to know if I had a coupon for Swiffer that she needs to buy!!

**missmanny** · 08-13-2008, 06:12 PM

I just think about it this way.

sure I could kick my self in the but about decisions I have made for the rest of my life....

But I prepfer to think of them as learning experiences DR calls them Stupid Tax ( I think of them more like a fine)

I don't know how many of you have seen the movie sliding doors, the decisions you make turn you into the person your are today and surely will help you to make better decisions in the future.

**angelbumpkin** · 08-13-2008, 07:28 PM

Everyone has those days. Everyone makes mistakes. We just need to try and not repeat the same mistakes.

**nessarowdy** · 08-14-2008, 11:54 AM

Gosh, that sounds like me EVERY DAY! I can't tell you the drama I went through when I let $14.99 in CVS extra care bucks expire! My husband could have cared less, but that was literally throwing that money down the drain!

It's easier said than done about obsessing over the little things!

I'm glad I'm not alone!
-Vanessa

**allenwrench** · 08-14-2008, 06:01 PM

Originally Posted by imagine

Do you "beating" yourself up over money mistakes.

I still get upset for myself for accidentally throwing out the check reward from our credit card. That was 13 years ago.

I fret over a bad use of a coupon. Example today I used a $10 off $10 or more purchase. I bought the socks Hubby said he needed (spent $2 oop). He thought his dress socks for work had faded a lot over the last year. Nope the new ones (same brand/style) look almost the same color to me. Maybe I should have used that $10 off $10 to buy some soft socks for Christmas present for my SILs. So now I'm beating myself up.

Those are just a few of the examples I fret about sometimes keeping me up at night.

DH tells me not to fret about these mistakes "It is just money" While I know that is true and that it won't break the bank. I can't seem to stop.

How does one stop "beating" oneself up over money mistakes ?

Forget perfection - look for direction.

Either we are getting better, frozen or getting worse.

Perfection is the nature of gods...imperfection is the nature of humans.