need or want how do you decide

[imagine]

I was thinking about wants and needs. There doesn't seem to be a specific answer/definition and lots of gray area between wants and needs.

That stared me thinking. How do others decide if something is a need or want? How do others define a need and want?

My In laws tend to ask at Christmas if we need X or Y. Well we don't need X or Y but could use them. DH answers no because we don't need them. So they don't give us that as a present. It seems to me what they are asking is do you want X or Y.

When I'm debating with myself if I should buy for example a new shirt my mom says "sure you need it". (well I don't really need it since I have four shirts)

Another example: A friend of mine tells me that the certain name brand tights I buy daughter are not needs but wants. I disagree with her they are needs since my daughter needs tights in winter (for warmth) and that brand is the only brand I have found that doesn't make her itch/rash. Tights only work for warmth if the child will wear them.

So how do you decide need or want? Do you have any examples of when your definition and another's definition don't seem to match?

[The Muse]

Need = I will die/suffer harm without it.

Want = Everything else.

Most things that people think are "needs" are actually wants.

Since only one brand of tights will not cause your daughter discomfort, I'd consider that a need. Of course one could argue that you might be able to keep her warm in something less expensive, but she does need clothes and to be kept warm.

In the example of a new shirt, you don't need it, but your mom wants you to have it.

In general, we don't truthfully need much in order to survive.

[itsahumanzoo]

I think everyone's needs/wants are their own. Something that I may need, could be just a want for someone else, and vice versa. So, no one should be able to tell you what you need/want, because they honestly don't know. I've learned that most things aside from food/shelter/basic clothing are all wants, and I can go without them if need be.

[Greebo]

Needs are simply things you must have to keep or achieve something else. Wants are not.

You need food, clothing, shelter. In our society, to get those things, you need the means to acquire them. Classically speaking, a job. You need to be able to get to your job.

Can you survive on a subsistence diet, live in a 1BR efficiency, drive a moped, and wear used clothes? Well, sure...it would meet your needs.

But that's just no fun.

[Momto2Boyz]

I agree with the Muse. Food, water, shelter, air...are about the only needs there really are in life. Every thing else is want. It's just a matter of how important the want is.

In our family though, we give in to some of the more important wants. Like owning a car, it really isn't a need. We could live without one. Everything we need is within a 5 mile radius and we could ride our bikes or walk, but we feel that owning one car for our family is not an excessive want. So I guess we kind of look at it that way. If it is something that will truely make our lives easier/better (what many others would consider a necessity) then we will purchase it, otherwise we do without.

[shoiji]

For me needs are food, shelter, clothes, medical care. Everything else is wants and if I want something extra I need to save up for it by planning ahead. Usually I ask myself if I really need something and try to wait awhile before buying it. I can get fixated on wanting to buy something, but if I wait long enough it passes and I don't feel like I need it anymore. Took a long time to figure this out. LOL

[Telephus44]

I like to think of there being a third category - needs, personal needs, and wants. The first "needs" is the basic shelter, water, food, heat, etc. The "personal needs" are things that I feel I need to carry on my life according to my values - this is where I feel that I need a car, someone who homeschools might put homeschooling supplies, and a concert pianist might put a piano - and this list is different for everyone. If need be, we can cut back on these things and still be alive and breathing, but certainly not anywhere near satisfied. I came across this idea (not explicitly phrased as such) when reading Not Buying It: My Year Without Shopping - the author has many "needs" that aren't simple food/shelter needs, but they are needs for her.

[treeluva]

This is an interesting question. What is a need for me may be just a want for someone else.

Sure, the only needs are clothing, shelter, and food. But within the realms are the wants. I need shelter. I want a 3 bedroom house. I need food. I want fresh produce. I need clothing. I want first hand clothes.

As of right now, I think that I have everything that I need, save for the recurring need of food which needs to be replenished, so I am keeping myself out of stores.

[hugxlaughxsmilexlove]

I need my kids, my husband, shelter, food, water, transportation and chocolate ice-cream.

I want a bigger house, more money and a vacation...

I buy a lot of things I don't really need and end up not wanting it within a year.. Probably should learn how to train myself.

Like it, love it, gotta have it, can't live without out
I'm just not simple.. yet

[elphie]

Before making a purchase, actually any decision, of which I'm unsure I generally stick to the 10-10-10 rule. I simply ask myself how will this purchase/decison impact my life in 10 minutes, 10 months, and 10 years. In response to the OP, this answers to these define my needs and wants in the following way...

If it will have a long lasting (10 years), positive impact, I consider it a need . If it will have a short term (10 minutes) positive impact I consider it a want. The intermediat (10 months) positive impact is a bit trickier and generally must be dealt with on a case by case basis.

Needless to say long lasting negative impacts override any positive impacts in the short or intermediate terms. However long lasting positve impacts may have short or intermediate negative impact.

Its not a perfect rule but it helps me get perspective on difficult situations.

[cissylu]

I think everyone's needs/wants are their own. Something that I may need, could be just a want for someone else, and vice versa. So, no one should be able to tell you what you need/want, because they honestly don't know. I've learned that most things aside from food/shelter/basic clothing are all wants, and I can go without them if need be.

I agree with this. everyones is different in some way.

[Clutterbug Jen]

My opinion that need are pretty much: Food, Clothing, Shelter, Heat, Medication, Personal products

Those you need to survive.

As for wants, I'd agree that they're different for everyone.

No, to me ... if I had no yarn or plastic canvas or a book to read [now, this is in the scenerio where I have none of those things at all], then they would be a "need" for me because I "have" to have something to work on at all times.

Oh yeah ... also a pen and notebook are needs [to make all my daily lists that I "have" to write.]

Not sure this is what you're looking for but ...

[forHISglory]

For me, a need is what is required for survival, to stay alive. And it is what is required at the most basic level.

Everything else is a want.

I need shelter. I want it to be comfortable. I need food. I want it to be tasty. I need clothing. I want it to be clean.

Since I live in a society where most people do not worry about needs, I find myself caught up in the levels of "want".

I'm so glad that you posed this question, as it behooves me to ponder it every so often.

[elphie]

According to Maslow we have needs beyond the basic physiological needs of survival. He acknowledges that these basic needs are the most important and that they must be met before anything else truly matters. However, once basic needs are met human beings NEED more; not a want but a biologically driven need to pursue more. Logic and reason separate us from other animals and therefore our needs are more complex. For the most part I agree with Maslow's theory, although I think once one achieves self-actualization the need for esteem is greatly diminsished.

Click here to see the pyramid and read more about Maslow's theory.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow'...archy_of_needs

[madhen]

I think you have to balance emotional needs with physical needs. Sure, all a child physically needs is food and shelter to survive, but without love and nurturing, she won't thrive. That is why they make special arrangements for parents to touch and love on their pre-mee babies while still in an incubator. I think emotional needs transcend simple wants. I may want a pizza, whereas I may NEED beauty in my life, in the form of art, plants, pets, whatever.

In my life, I have found that my pets fall into that emotional need category. I would have a large empty place in my life without them. That being said, I consider pet food and supplies and medical care to be among things that are needed. Maybe someone else would find music to be essential to their emotional health, and the cost of a violin, strings, lessons, etc. would be a need, rather than a want.

I think part of the problem is that people treat "want" as being selfish and greedy. If you want something, and if you don't have to go into debt or remain in debt to have it, there is nothing wrong with getting it. Most of us don't work too many hours every day just to pay for clothing, food, and shelter. If that were the case, most of us wouldn't be sitting here on computers, and we'd all be just above the starving level and have one outfit that we wore in our yurts. Comfort is not evil.

In re: other people asking if you need something, vs. want something, especially for birthdays or holidays, the truthful answer might be, "Well, we won't die if we don't have it, but it would certainly make life a little nicer to have it."