Do people make judgments about you?

**fixer** · 11-30-2008, 12:21 AM

I have noticed lately that people have started making comments about our financial situation. They look at the cars we drive, the food we eat and other things about our lifestyle and make the assumption that we are having financial problems. I would like to think our lifestyle is the reason we are able to make ends meet. Has anyone else noticed this? Does it bother you? I does not bother me until people start telling us we should get second jobs and watch our money more careful. Then we could afford nice things.

**mama2James** · 11-30-2008, 12:24 AM

I would tell them to mind their own business! Seriously though, you will be the one who is happy in the end because you are living within your means. I would much rather drive an older car than have to take a second job and be away from my family in order to drive a brand new one that depreciated in value the second I drove it off the lot.

**djbout** · 11-30-2008, 12:29 AM

I have a GF that I told about how I was using coupons matched with sales and FPC's to get great deals and save money and out of the blue she just said "It's all a marketing ploy". Well I told her that I don't buy products I don't regularly use and if something is free and I'm gonna use, well, I'm gonna get it. I think she is the type of person that stands in lineups behind people using coupons and sighs heavily because she has to wait.

**Palooka** · 11-30-2008, 01:14 AM

Oh where do I start.

I have had people say comments about me shopping at Aldis.
I have been called a homebody too many times and how we should take four vacations a year and if we don't, we are not a 'normal' family. Like we should 'get a life.'

I should put my kids in daycare and work full time to afford extra's. My husbands ex-wife gets mad because my step daughter wears hand me down clothes from my daughter. And let me tell ya. My daughter is spoiled from her dad's family and most is name brands and they both have clothes coming out their ears. She is just mad because she thinks we should spend more money on her but yet she has all she needs.

Comments that I shop at thrift stores. Or even that I am happy to stay home and play on the computor and not go out at night and spend money at night clubs or pay for a babysitter. Once in awhile is okay but it is not a top priority for us to go out every weekend.

Paying off our debt is more important.

**HandyMom** · 11-30-2008, 03:16 AM

No I don't hear anything like that. I shop in second hand stores most of the time and so I am in good company.

**Palooka** · 11-30-2008, 03:41 AM

Originally Posted by HandyMom

No I don't hear anything like that. I shop in second hand stores most of the time and so I am in good company.

Wanna make a big day of shopping in thrift stores together? I need a thrifty friend.

**hippytreehugger4ever** · 11-30-2008, 03:56 AM

I get that all the time. The first thing people find offensive for some reason or another is that I'm a 23 year old homemaker without any kids. They all think that you HAVE to be out working full time, busting your butt just so you can by new cars and living beyond your means. Growing up all I ever really wanted to be is a homemaker and never really had any career ambitions. My husband and I chose this for ourselves. I used to work full time and nothing would get done around the house because we were both too tired most days to even bother. Now at least the house is cleaner and my husband is fed LOL Both of our families assume that we're broke all the time because we never really go anywhere out of town or go out every weekend, but we're not. We have a lot more in savings than my sister in law, who by the way never even got a job until she was 29 or 30. In fact, her husband had to cash in his 401k when he got laid off because they had NOTHING saved. Their also still paying on a car loan from at least 6 years ago. It's not a priority for us to have brand new everything. You just have to pick your battles with people.

**Patty A** · 11-30-2008, 06:37 AM

Let people talk, you know the truth so don't let it get to you. I was at a case lot sale a while ago, and believe me I wait from year to year for this sale. It always takes place at the same time every year so I save for it. Anyway, I had a shopping cart full of case lots, fruit, veggies, peanut butter and all. (enough stock that I get by for the year until the next sale comes) The lady behind me in line said, "wow you really buy a lot of stuff!" and I turned to her and said "yes with a family of 14 this should last a couple weeks at least!" Her mouth hit the floor, I giggled and paid for my things and left. She was still standing in the same spot with her mouth wide open when I went out the door. I drive an old car, it gets me where I need to go and once again I giggle when its tax time. I don't care what others think......it saves me a ton of money and I giggle all the way to the bank.
Yesterday I was at the thrift store. I was buying blankets and comforters to make window blankets with. Talk about looks, I really think some people thought my family much be totally without warmth. I did get some funny looks, but I find it fun to make people wonder what is going on. It really gives them something to think about, and there are far worse things than being poor and happy!

I also have to add, being a SAHM has always raised eyebrows from others at me. I have always wanted to be a SAHM, I never have wanted to work outside the home. It has always been my dream to be a wife and mom, and I love my "job" of making a house a home. I find it funny how many people think we choose to be poor by staying at home, and that couldn't be farther from the truth! Don't let people get to you Palooka! You are doing what makes you happy.......and it isn't "things" that makes people happy!

**Darlene** · 11-30-2008, 08:38 AM

Being happy is the best revenge. Smile, smile & smile some more and really make them wonder. :winking:

**winner** · 11-30-2008, 10:11 AM

I would say don't let it bother you. Every onemakes own choices. Some of you ladies are SAHM, and it is OK, you house is clean, family is well taken care of. To run this business is hard work and it takes careful planing and spending. Who cares what people think or say. I am full-time worker, my kids are grown-up and moved out, but I am very frugal. Why? I started late, I came to Canada at 35, now I 50, my time was runing out, I had to build my life from ashes.If I wasn't watching my pennies I would be never able to get my College degree, pay my student loan off, bring my two children up, buy my own condo, pay off my cars, have solid savings, helping my children here and there, travel and being debt free ecxept $100.000 mortgage. I do hear comments from people and co-workers about me being frugal or shopping at Thrift shops. But guess what, all these comments are from people who are "keeping their heads aboe the water themselves". A male co-worker who's wife never worked a day in her life and buys a Guchi bag for $500. They couldn't manage to buy a house during their 22 year marriage, live in affordable housing, and don't have a chance to travel, but like eating out very often. Another couple of people who are in over $10.000 debts, for the last seven years, because they can't manage to pay off so they pay interest, but shop until they drop. I like being frugal, I like being financialy secure, who know what might happen, so since I have an opportunity to save as much as I can, then I can retire at $60 and enjoy my life and play with my grandchildren and help my childeren. My goal now is to pay as much as I can towards my mortgage. When i borrowed it was for 25 years, Here and there I was paying extra, recently I renewed my mortgage after 5 years and if I continue to pay as I did, I will be done in 10 years. So being frugal helped me to slash 10 years of my mortgage, and believe me I do have a life, it is not like I am living on bread and water. I do have once ayer a good vacation, during the summer enjoy BC's scenary, picnics, winter time movies and indoor activities. I have a balance and good discipline, who cares what people think about me.
So my friends let keep being frugal, we all have a reazon being frugal, lest share our frugal tips and experiences, I learn day by day, just reading your stories.

**madhen** · 11-30-2008, 11:13 AM

The only person who I have ever had be openly judgmental of me is my mother. But she is the kind of person who is judgmental of everyone, and who is never happy with how you live your life, so I pretty much just ignore her. She is still mad at me for buying my house so far away from her (which she says I did deliberately) and for not getting a half-million dollar home in town with all the amenities and shopping (for when she visits).

**ladykemma2** · 11-30-2008, 12:09 PM

do people make judgements about me? yes. they think I'm rich. i am confusing to most, becuase I was living a lah dee dah life when i was married to moneybags.

divorced, and living on a schoolteachers salary, I am having to make choices.

now my friends are drifting away. i don't have the money to do my hobbies with them anymore. They give me blank looks when I say I have only 50 dollars between now and the 15th.

**rainbowgc** · 11-30-2008, 12:28 PM

In my neighborhood we have a group of huge gossips and their talk knows no limits. I am sure I have had my turn. Also in our neighborhood we have a great group of people we get together with. None of us can be bothered by what the "other" group has to say. Gossip and people go hand in hand - it's malicious and hurtful gossip that sux. People who talk about you in a hurtful way are not worth your thoughts. forget about them and live a wonderful life to spite them!

**itsahumanzoo** · 11-30-2008, 12:29 PM

Yes, but not based on money. I'm young, and I look even younger than I actually am. I have tattoos and I'm pregnant and have a small child. Plus I lost my wedding ring, so I don't wear anything. I sometimes catch people looking at me, then my kid, then my hand. I just smile.

**zakity** · 11-30-2008, 01:08 PM

Yep, people judge me. I am fine with that. They are usually wrong.

I have twins and I had them young, so I must had "help" to have them. For the record, they were naturally occuring. I dropped two eggs and DH had the gall to fertilize both of them.

I have three kids and I don't wear a wedding ring. Apparently, you have to have ring to be married. I can't possibly be married if I don't wear a ring. That ceremony and that piece of paper (ie, the marriage certificate) means nothing! Actually, I hate things on my hands/wrists. I don't wear a watch or any rings at all. I don't even know where my wedding ring is right now and I don't think it would even fit.

People think we are poor. We aren't near rich, but we have enough. We drive old cars. We eat simply. We dress neatly and our clothes are clean, but we don't dress in the latest fashions. We pick and choose what we want to spend our money on. New cars and the latest fashions aren't what we are interested in spending our money on.