Crisis of Frugal Faith

[Kaos Kitty]

For the past week I have been tormented. I received some "new to me" couches for free, replacing my sagging, hamster cut couches (we had to open the back to get the hamster out...and then the springs permanently pushed 6 inches out of the hole). Guests would start to sit down...and then change their mind.

So I am very happy to have 80's styled but good looking couches. The problem is...it makes my living room look good. Which in contrast makes everything else look very bad.

I have 4 dinner plates. Only 2 match. We have an old tv where the color is so bad, everyone looks sunburned. I've taken a truck load of stuff to the dump and posted things on freecycle but my very small space still looks cluttered, and we can't afford anything bigger. I am so frustrated!

We have no debt, but Dh will lose his job in January. Which is why I am trying to save as much as possible in our EF fund. But with people coming over for the holidays I just feel ashamed and tired of the disorganized mess and clutter. I know it's childish of me - I should make do and try to pare down even more. Instead I go to IKEA and stare at the Billy bookcase system that would provide beautiful matching storage for all our books and collectibles, with doors to hide our board and video games, a place to store CD's and DVDS. It all seems a perfect way to clean and organize our small space. But perfect and matching costs about $1000.

Or I look at the china cabinet, regular $500, on the damaged sale for $240. All my Royal Doulton china (from garage sales!) is sitting in the middle of the floor. Because I took the little bookcases it was in to put my herbs and plants on, because it was the only way they could still get light behind the new couches (they are bigger than my old couches). See what trouble new couches are? It's created this terrible chain reaction of wants.

At Ikea I walked past the dinner plates on sale for 75cents each, we really only need 4 plates. We ate 50 cent IKEA hot dogs for supper and went home.

Sitting here looking at my mismatched wood laminate furniture and new to me couches, I realize that I am luckier than many people in the world. I have food to eat, I'm warm, I'm typing on a computer. And really, I only invite people I like over for the holidays anyway. If they judge me too harshly by my decor, then they are not worth liking. At the moment it's myself I am judging. It's my job as a woman to make my home clean, organized and attractive. So I am going to try and let go of the idea of perfect and matching, and just work harder to find frugal solutions. And be grateful for my new couches.

[Mavourneen]

First of all, *hug* You aren't alone - you sound a lot like me except for the pending unemployment.

My suggestion is to start haunting craigslist. Browse the "free" listings several times a day.

You will be staggered at the amount of free out there.

I got a full set of matching everyday plates and bowls. A full set of 12, no chips - and when I showed up at the house to collect, it turns out the woman who owned the house died and her kids were cleaning out the house via craigslist.

I also got a nearly brand new 22'" tv, and a whole box of assorted office supplies and this woman's ENTIRE collection of coupons! She had a whole binder and the kids didn't want it! I was thrilled. Some had expired - but there was a lot of great in there.

Moral is - satisfy your need to upgrade through free resources. Craigslist, freecycle. You can find a lot of brand new stuff just yours for the claiming.

Good luck to you and your family. I hope DH is employed asap.

[thriftstorequeen]

Nice post! I can see that you are very wise and thankful! I've had new stuff and mis-matched stuff all my life. But I, like you realized awhile back that it is just stuff. What really matters is spending time with those we love and like. Lots of times when I step from my shower on to my rug (that I got at the thriftstore for 75 cents) I think of how blessed I am to have warm, running water. Folks all around the world don't have this luxury. I'll keep this mobile home with it's mis-mactched stuff and enjoy the times here spent with people I love!

[madhen]

I'm the same way. All my furniture is either handed down or over ten years old. I do have a matching set of dinnerware, but I keep it stored, and I eat off a plastic microwaveable plate.

If the .75/plate IKEA dinner plates are what you love, I'd say get them. But if they are just nice matching plates, and you don't find yourself dreaming over them, then they are just more stuff.

I have one full place setting and two coffee mugs in a Christian Dior pattern that, twenty years ago, I fell in love with. The problem was, one place setting was over two hundred dollars, even back then. I managed just the little bit I got, and then didn't get any more. I still have and LOVE that place setting. I almost never use it, but once in a while, I still pull it out, when I want to feel indulgent. It is not stuff to me, it is a reminder of a time when it was all I could do to save up to buy one place setting, but it was (and still is) my perfect place setting.

I have tried to keep that approach in any big ticket items that I buy. My couch is ten years old, but it took me four months to find it, and it is my perfect couch. I don't see myself wanting to replace it until it is just so old and saggy that it hurts to sit on it.

I guess what I'm saying is, don't let the perfect "whatever" slip by because you think you shouldn't get more stuff. But don't buy something you don't love, just because it is on sale. My perfect place setting never went on sale, and it cost me close to $400 to get the setting, an extra cup and saucer, and two coffee mugs. But ONE of those coffee mugs is now selling for over $200. So true value never goes away.

[zakity]

When I go over to people's houses, I am there to visit them. I am not there to judge their house. I am not there to white glove their house. I am there because I want to spend time with that person.

[PrairieRose]

I also echo watching Freecycle and Craigs' list. Also, it helps (no joke) to write down exactly what you want. You'll never cease to be amazed at how often you get exactly what you write. Seriously.

[winner]

Here you are, you got all the tips from our ladies.
Check Craig's list, but matching plate if it really bothers you, they are not that expensive. Keep loking for freebies, drive through rich houses, they throw staff away, I found a real wood coffe table, re-finished, it looks like brand new, I saved $200-$300 by doing that. I am like everyone, have mismatched dishes furniture, but having a clean house and friends to spend time with, is the most important thing to me. If my friends will judge me, because of my mismatched decor, then I wouldn't call them friends.

[katholc]

If you need a china cabinet or book shelf to keep your china in, I would say buy it. It is an investment and your china will be protected and out of the middle of the floor. And there are cheaper places to shop that Ikea. I love some of the stuff at Ikea also and I know if I go to the store I will be salivating the whole time, but if I need something like a bookshelf I'll go someplace else.

[AmyBoz]

Sounds like you've already gotten the advice I would have offered you. Best of luck and keep your chin up. You're doing fine.

[leezza]

KK,

Hang in there lady! Enjoy what you have and have some dreams for the future : )

You are doing the right thing with the EF and saving for what's going on with your DH.

Best Regards,
leezza

[Marie78]

My home is the same way. We have all hand-me-down or found furniture (except for our bed). My dad and his g/f came over a few weeks ago and I was ashamed of how mismatched and small our space is. I cleaned and freshened and picked up the place, but I was still worried about the appearance of our furniture.

Then I reminded myself that we like our space and we are proud of ourselves for not spending money on "things" when we can put it in the bank for emergencies.

I also think you should treat yourself to 4 matching plates, at 75 cents each that's a great deal. If you don't mind hand washing your dishes you could even consider using your china for everyday. I once read somewhere that life is too short to not enjoy your favorite things every day of the year

[shoiji]

Take a good look at the mismatched furniture. It is amazing what paint can do to make them look like they match. If they are in pretty good condition and style you may want to try that. Ok, so I watch a lot of decorating shows. You can try and be patient and scan the craigs list or freecycle.

Definately know how you feel though. Just moved into a new apartment and all I can think about is painting the bathroom and kitchen, getting a slipcover and new drapes for the living room, redoing chairs, buying new bedding, etc. But then reality sets in and I realize it all doesn't need to be done right away so it will be piece meal to get it done. It also does not help that Oscar Huber is having really great sales now that they are going out of business.

[kittykatstrong]

I say call it eclectic.

I know what you mean though. Sometimes I get the I wants and I have to remind myself that I have so much.

[monkeywrangler71]

Just stay out of IKEA!

Seriously, I had to go there for something last weekend and I came out wanting everything. That store is designed to make you feel bad about your house.

[Patty A]

I have to add that I have been saving for years now to get a couch, sure wish they had a craigs list close to where I live! I also have to add that even with my new set nothing matches in my home at all. I don't care as long as it functions, and I surprise people every once in while with the "crazy" things I do. Example, I have my grandmothers old trunk. Its old and ugly green, scratched, dented, and well used and means the world to me. I took some old levi's and patched them together like you do for a quilt. Put some batting on the top of a board cut the size of the trunk and made it in to a padded coffee table. Every one that see's it wonders what it is.....a seat or a table! LOL. My home is a patch work of many things, some connected to memories that makes its value meaningless to most, but priceless to me. My friends and family that visit better not be here to look at the mismatched pieces, the dirt, or the furniture. I could never pass the "white glove test nor would I want to. Needless to say, I am clean enough to be healthy and dirty enough to be happy! Mixmatched pieces are eclectic, shabby chic, or many call it country. Slap a name to it and let it be your style! Everyone will want the look........