"sticker shock"

[cojo]

OK, not really sticker shock, but I'm not sure what else to call it.

I was sitting in church at one of the library tables the other day. Next to me was a 20 year old young woman and her mom. Mom was clipping coupons.

Daughter picks up the Best Buy section of the paper and starts saying the following (quite literally):

"Oh, mom, for Christmas I want an iPod. Also, I want this laptop computer. That's a really good price - it's only $700! Oh, I want this camera too. And I NEED extra memory cards for the cameras."
Mom: "Wow, that's a lot of stuff."
Daughter: (indignantly) "Well, you said you wanted ideas for Christmas presents, so I'm HELPING you!"

I know this family pretty well, and though they are fortunate, they're definitely not wealthy. It just gave me "sticker shock" because I agonize over things like that! I took 2 years of research and saving before I bought one of the cheapest digital cameras, and 6 months for me to buy a $40 MP3 player! LOL. I just can't believe some people so flippantly desire such expensive things for holidays, especially when they have perfectly good things at home.

It actually made me feel grateful that I don't constantly want to "one-up" myself.

[madhen]

My mother demanded a flat screen t.v. for Christmas. She always goes on about how she would never accept money from us, and she also accuses both of us of not saving our money wisely, and of spending it frivolously (which is funny, because she only ever comes to my house once a year and I never have new anything around - but that might be why she thinks I'm spending it all somewhere else?). But come Christmas, she demands a flat screen t.v. No other options, mind you. My sister actually looked for one, but after my $7,000 roofing emergency in Nov, I told my sister that I wouldn't be able to chip in the $1,000 or so it would take to get a flat screen for Mom, who already has two t.v's, both of which are larger than the largest t.v. *I* have!

[prftstrngr]

It always surprises me when kids ask for stuff like that. I only have one son and he is 16. He asked for an ipod this year...and added on the end(IF we can afford it). I thought it was cute that he thought of that. He has one of the first ones that came out that has been washed and repaired and just doesnt work. I have to admit he has always used it from the time he got it so I really dont have a problem buying him one. I think mostly.....because he doesnt expect it. Makes me realise how much he appreciates what we give him. Kids that ask for such exteavagant gifts.....well....do they even realise the cost? Or do they just assume its *owed* to them?? That bothers me....they need to learn the value of a dollar. Parents that just give it to them....also need to learn the same lesson! IMO....

[nvmommyx6]

This is the reason I am not often allowed in public ROFLMAO
I see young people saying what they want in an "expecting" manner, and I just cannot keep my mouth shut!!! I get myself in trouble that way, and have for years!!!
I see what you mean, you know, my son (15 today!!) says to us a few weeks back ( knowing there is no way in hell we could afford it) he wanted a laptop for his birthday!! (imagine a scene from Roseanne!!!) Hubby and I start laughing hysterically, and hubby asks son, " Are you on drugs? because we could have you tested!!!" Needless to say, we got him the laptop, hubby traded a set of nice rims and tires for it, and I will be formatting and setting it up to give to him at his party Saturday!!

[TexasPeanut]

I won't lie, I am utterly shocked when I see people buy children ipods....and I mean ipods and children, as in younger than a teenager. There is no need to spend that kind of money on an ipod for someone young when you just end up paying for the name and recognition of having one. My 11yr old has a 8gb mp3 player that can show pics and videos just like an ipod but cost me less than half the price. But it's other people's money really so if they want to pay for the name of something and not really the quality than so be it. I have no problem with people buying what they want and can afford as I do the same, I just think it's wrong to always get such young children the "designer and high end" brand of things.

I'm not saying all children (again I'm speaking about kids younger than 13) are irresponsible or will not appreciate expensive things but some just don't and the parents aren't helping buy purchasing such expensive things without teaching the value of anything. Several of my son's friends at school have actual ipods and just leave them everywhere and let other people borrow them, one of his friends just got the new ipod touch. I mean they are young kids, they don't understand the value of those things or care really nor do they respect them enough to care for them. A little 10 yr old girl he knows from the neighborhood as an iphone. Seriously a 10 yr old kid with an iphone.

People wonder why some kids end up being greedy as heck and never wanting anything less than the most expensive or most recognized items and definitely never want anything less than what they desire and think they are owed. There's your answer.

[mommy4ever]

We "caved" and got ds a ipod shuffle for his birthday last year. It was cheap. Fit the allotted amount. I spend several hours the week before his birthday loading it with his CD's and his dad's. He loves it. But it's just the shuffle.

He is one of those kids though that always wants to upgrade. I'm not sure where he gets it from. He wanted the gameboy sp for his birthday one year. I told him no, his advance works fine. He begged, I told him that if he got that he will not be asking for the DS. He told me he didn't need the ds, the sp would be fine. He assured me that. Well, wouldn't you know it 8 weeks after his birthday he's mentioning he'd like a ds for Christmas! I FLIPPED OUT on him. I told him it was wasteful. He bought it with his own money.

So of course, now he wants an ipod nano or something like it. I'm not buying it. He also asked for a laptop. I can repeat the above comment about laughing hysterically. He's not getting one. I DID tell him though that if he earns more than the one scholarship, we'd get him one for college. He's hyped, so maybe he'll keep hi 90%+ average and get into a good school with a free ride.

We didn't teach this behavior to our ds. It's something ingrained in some people. We have had one new tv in our whole marriage. Our electronics were all aquired used. Our cars, nothing cost over $800 at the moment(dh is a mechanic). I don't dress designer, neither do the kids. I don't get it. DH brother is like that though, I had a brother like that too. Always 'needs' the best, latest and greatest. We're hoping to get that attitude out of ds before it causes him financial woes in the future.

[treeluva]

My mother got my 10 year old an iPod shuffle for her tenth birthday. She got it on sale for like $25 bucks at Target.

My daughter has used it everyday since she received it and actually puts it away so it won't get lost. I am amazed.

My daughters ask me for things I think are crazy for their age, but like another poster said, they are started to add on "When we can afford it" or "if we can afford it".

For instance, my 10 year old really seems to think she needs a cell phone. Ha. I told her when she gets a job and earns a paycheck, we can *think* about a cell phone. We have a landline - that is sufficent for her to call her friends.

It is funny how some children come up with what they want for Christmas. My mom just asked me the other day what I wanted. I simply told her the only thing I really needed was a trip to the dentist. She said she wasn't getting me a dentist trip for Christmas - if I needed money for the dentist, she would just pay for it, but as far as a Christmas present goes, no way. So I told her, then I really can't help you with ideas because I don't need anything more than what you already do for me.

But I can remember a time when I had Christmas lists pages long. I also remember my mother laughing at me when I handed it to her. I got some things from my list, never the most expensive things, and a lot of things I never asked for. Wonder what I always loved the most? The things I never asked for. Funny how that works.

[ironmaiden]

I picked up the 6 year old from Brownies and told her that we were all going to Edaville Railroad (a dozen amusement park rides, train ride to see the Smas lights). She looks at me and says "Why are you spending all your money?"

I had DS8 look with me at what games for the Nintendo DS (he got last Xmas, hasn't lost a single game) and the Xmas Wii (from Santa to everyone) he'd like.
He picked two games. I asked what else and he said "that's enough".

By the way, the kids said that they wanted the Wii from Santa cause that way WE do not have to pay for it, Santa does and we can save money that way

So in some ways they get it. In other ways, it is simply Monopoly money.
Actually, I want my kids to earn money, then blow it on stupid stuff, then see something that they really want and realize that they could have gotten it if they didnt' blow their money on stupid stuff.

[zakity]

My guys have asked for outragiously expensive Lego sets. I told them that I wasn't even putting them on their list (they have a running list of "wants" that I keep on my phone). They know that they are welcome to save up and buy it themselves though. Several of the sets they have bought themselves (one set was $100+). They look for coupons and deals and stuff.

Actually, instead of presents this year, we are giving them cash. It has been the best thing ever. They have spent the last year figuring and refiguring what they want and what they can actually afford with that $100. They have also been pricing things they want on the net and in the stores. They have even been figuring in shipping for the things on the internet stores.

[TexasPeanut]

Let me clarify because I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea, I am not speaking of ipod shuffles. Those are cheap as heck I agree to that, no I'm talking about all of these 10-13 yr old kids I see running around with $200-$300 ipods and ipod touches, and $200+ cell phones. A 10yr old kid does not need an iphone. That just floors me. My son has a cell phone that was bought for emergencies when he's on a field trip from school and stuff that but he now uses it on a rare occasion to call someone and it cost like $20 bucks and we spend $20 every 3 months to add minutes to it. He uses part of his allowance for that though. He pays half, we pay half.

Like you mommy4ever my DH is a mechanic and he works hard for his money, none of our vehicles are new (we usually spend an average of $600 buying a used one and putting in a little money to it and fixing it up and driving it into the ground, it a perk of the job) Our son doesn't get behavior like that from us either, but believe me he sees the stuff on tv, he sees other kids with it and he asks for outlandish things at times...like and iphone and a laptop and a flat screen tv for his room. But none of that is happening. No way and he knows that. It's not that we can't afford it, we could, I just don't think it's appropriate for his age to have something like that. I'm just shocked though at how many parents do give into that and give their younger kids very expensive things like that. I just can't justify someone that's not even a teenager owning something like and iphone or a laptop especially when I wouldn't spend that kind of money on something like that for myself lol.

[sue s]

I blame the old TV for a lot of this. For every 40 min. of program you get 20 min. of well designed brain washing commercials whose whole intent is to convince kids (and everyone else) that they aren't cool, can't live without, will never be able to impress their friends etc. etc. without said item. These guys get paid huge sums of money to come up with this junk. And it works! Just look at all the stuff that I've bought and now wonder why in the world I thought I needed that?

[peanut]

You know, we bypassed being stumped for Christmas gifts by having the kids write up Christmas wish lists every year. They're now 21 and 24. But I remember the first year sending them back to add more affordable options to the list, explaining to them that their sister couldn't afford anything on their list. The list had to be universal...for everyone. And it had to have a fair smattering of gifts under $5 for stocking stuffers.

Well the wish lists for this year came in this morning. I notice the pattern has held...a broad cross-section of stuff required in a broad price range. I am happy I set up that expectation early on.

Jean

[WV_mom_of2]

You know, we bypassed being stumped for Christmas gifts by having the kids write up Christmas wish lists every year. They're now 21 and 24. But I remember the first year sending them back to add more affordable options to the list, explaining to them that their sister couldn't afford anything on their list. The list had to be universal...for everyone. And it had to have a fair smattering of gifts under $5 for stocking stuffers.

Well the wish lists for this year came in this morning. I notice the pattern has held...a broad cross-section of stuff required in a broad price range. I am happy I set up that expectation early on.

Jean

This is how we've always done it too! We used to buy one larger gift for each child from Santa. My parents spend 150-200.00 on each child, inlaws spend 25-50.00 on each. My brother and his first wife used to spend around 10.00 on each and dh's sisters would spend 20.00-40.00 each. My kids had to have things on the list that anyone could afford.

Since they are too old for Santa now we usually let my parents buy the big thing they want. This year dd wanted an Ipod nano(her mp3 player was washed in the washing machine, bad mommy!). She replaced the old mp3 player with a cheapo model using her own money. She has a 45 minute bus ride to school, one way so she uses it ALOT and takes good care of it. She also purchased her first cell phone this month with her own money. She had to pay for the phone and she has to pay for the phone cards to keep it active. My parents are buying her the Ipod, an alarm clock docking thingy for it. Ds wanted expensive boots. My parents got those and Guitar Hero for him. My parents insist on spending a certain amount on each grandchild so it's just easier to let them get the big stuff because my mom hates to Christmas shop. Then dh and I fill in with the other stuff they want.

[phoeny_moonstar]

DD wanted an mp3 player for christmas. She didn't specify ipod or anything like that. she is getting a video mp3 player for her birthday (generic) which is only 2months away. i think she got enough for christmas.

back on topic... it always amazes me that children/teenagers run around having better cell phones/mp3 players than most adults. it absolutely floors me! and if i asked for something like that (ipod touch or whatever) when i was a kid my family would of laughed at me.

[frugalnana]

I think the only thing I gave into at christmas was when the PS stations first came out. It was $400 if everyone remembers. I about croaked. But that was the last thing I gave in to. When son#1 got older he took it to the video store up graded to xbox and then later bought the ps2 on his own.
We also put a cap on the grandkids, we have 7 total and 4 kids. When our one granddaughter was 5 she wanted a cd player that she could play her kids music and I was thinking a small one so in case she broke it. But her dad told us it was a big one and that was the last year we did that also.
The youngest of our kids who is 21 now used my cell phone when he started driving and then later he got his own and we paid half the bill and he paid the rest.
I do think that kids today ask for to many things that are way exspensive and that parents need to help the kids like the above posters make it where everyone can afford an item to buy.
There is a big difference in each of our adult children and what they want, my frugal son and DIL ask for things they can use, our frugal daughter same way, then we have the middle one who asks for things he doesn't need but wants and the oldest who has exspensive tastes and his kids are the same way.
Then my neighbors granddaughter who is 15 gets her nails done, tans and has a cell phone and not only demands it but expects it.
Dh feels guilty sometimes about he spends on his kids, but like he said you can't let it get out of control. He suspects that his son bought him the new mp3 player that is $400 and he's right, but I'm not telling him. I just told him christmas is not how much you spend its the thought you put into the gift.