A little sad

[treeluva]

I know that this should *not* make me feel sad, but it does.

This Christmas, *all* my children are getting from me is 4 *new* outfits each, a new set of pajamas and a robe, a box of crayons, 2 coloring books, and a High School Musical pen.

I had saved up some money for Christmas and when it came time to spend it, I looked at what they needed first. I bought on sale - the receipt told me that I saved over $400 on what I purchased clothes wise (and I didn't spend $400, either)

With the money left over, I was able to buy the other items.

I guess what makes me feel bad is that I remember all the past Christmases. I know it isn't about the presents - I don't necessarily feel bad that they aren't getting a ton of stuff they don't need - I feel bad that I do not have the resources to buy it if I wanted to. Because of my own poor choices over the past 6 years.

So, I guess what really is making me sad isn't the amount of gifts at all. Its more about how could let myself incur so much freaking debt that it affects my ability to purchase things for my children.

The little one asked for a barbie house and the oldest one asked for a DS. Neither are getting what they asked for because I just can't afford it.

The one thing I am proud of is that I drew the line in the sand and I refuse to use a credit card to finance their wants. I am proud that I had stashed money away for Christmas - that day that comes around the same time EVERY year.

I guess I am just getting the winter blues. Someone knock it out of me!

[Dancing Lotus]

I am experiencing the same thing. We don't normally have much to spend on Christmas as it is but my husband was out of work for two months and he won't be getting his first paycheck until after Christmas. My kids are mostly getting needs as well. But you know , that's not so bad. It could be worse , you could have nothing at all to give.

You are doing the right thing by not charging stuff. You are giving your kids a far more valuable gift by teaching them money management. In the end they will benefit from that far more then a doll house could ever do for them.

I grew up as someone who always got what I wanted as a kid. Let me tell you that made adjusting to Christmas as a adult a lot harder.

[xtena]

I understand the desire to give our kids what they want. I can afford to buy more toys and things for my daughter than I actually have, and it's a struggle to not give in to the commercialism this year.

Your kids may be disappointed this year, but it won't scar them for life. Have you explained to them in advance that you can't afford big ticket items? Hopefully they are beyond the Santa Claus stage and old enough to understand that much of the country, and not just you personally, are going through 'lean times'.

I can't remember 99% of the stuff I got for Christmas as a kid, and neither will they when they get older. If you talk to them 'from your heart' about why you can't afford the 'wants' vis the 'needs this year, hopefully they will understand. In the meantime, I hope you have the time to do some extra special fun stuff with them, like making cheap/free Christmas crafts that you can download instructions for over the internet . My daughter and I cut out of bunch of paper snowflakes yesterday and had a blast decorating a window with them. You can string popcorn and cranberries, make construction paper chains, make and decorate sugar cookies and gingerbread folk, and how about making a gingerbread house? We made one of those from a kit last year (but it would be cheaper and tastier to bake one at home with plans downloaded from the 'net, and decorate with dollar store goodies). We had a messy blast with that one.

[Athena31]

Aahh keep your chin up. I didn't get alot as a kid either (compared to my friends)but to tell ya the truth I really don't remember and it seemed like I got a lot and I was happy and that is what really matters.

[guest002]

(((((((((((hugs))))))))))))

Being a grown up sucks sometimes.

[Debbie-cat]

Aww, it will be okay. Since you didn't use your credit cards this year (WAY TO GO GIRL!), you won't be owing that debt all next year and you will get ahead of the game for next Christmas. Spend the time with them, maybe watch movies, like How the Grinch Stole Christmas and Charlie Brown Christmas, pop a bowl of popcorn, cuddle up and tell them you love them. I am sure they will be more happy with that.

[MommyBliss]

Hugs to you! It sounds like you did great to me! I love Debbie-cat's suggestion. Do a Christmas movie-a-thon wiht your children, bake cookies with them, and just enjoy being together.

[homesteadmamma]

Awe sweetie, your kids will be okay. I received one gift at Christmas when I was younger, that's all my parents could afford. They did the best with what they had. It didn't hurt me a bit. Don't beat yourself up because of debt. The reason most of us are here is because we've gone through or are going through the exact same thing. {{{{hugs}}}}}

You made a very good decision in not using cc for Christmas. Kuddos to you for doing that.

[forHISglory]

You are making wise decisions, and that is a most wonderful gift to pass on to your children.

[McD]

I know it sucks now, but do you know what your girls will remember in 20 years? They won't remember if they got a barbie house or not. They won't remember if they had 4 presents or 34 presents. They'll remember sitting around the tree with you laughing. They'll remember snuggling up on the couch watching Christmas cartoons with you. They'll remember YOU.

You may not be able to afford the material stuff, but can you do some special holiday fun with them? Like building a gingerbread house, decorating cookies, or dipping pretzels in chocolate and sprinkles?

[fixer]

They will have a better life in the future because of your actions now. Even Though they may not get it now, they will eventually and appreciate it. Now, I know the sacrifices that my parents made to give me things when I was young. I never understood why I had to work on the farm when my friends did not. The greatest gift they gave me was a strong work ethic and the knowledge that doing without will not kill you. The shame is that it is hard to get a child to understand it.

[angelbumpkin]

Christmas is not about all the things we buy. Your kids will love you all the same. You don't have to spend a fortune on it for there to be great memories.

[QM]

I remember not getting a certain doll for Christmas that I wanted. It didn't scar me at all. I got other goodies that I enjoyed instead.

Letting your children know that you love them and spending time with them doing fun things (i.e., playing games, stringing popcorn and such) is what they'll really remember.

[FrugalMomof3]

Let me just tell you that I too am just like you this year. My DD is getting a $40 visa gift card, my son is getting boxer briefs and wife beaters and that's it. My step-daughters are getting regifted bath & body items I received and my DH and I aren't even exchanging gifts this year because money is tight.

Remember it's the thought that counts and that you get to share Christmas with your family.

[zakity]

But, they have presents... That is the important thing. It doesn't hurt them to get needs instead of wants.

Look for Little House on the Prairie at a thrift store (or borrow it) and read it to them. Then, compare the girls in the book's xmas to the ones that are now. Talk about if they seemed sad that they didn't get very much. Talk to your kids about the amount of money the mom and dad in the book probably had. Also, point out how they had a simple xmas, but they were still happy about it. It gives kids a different perspective on things.