Need Reassurance and advice

**wife2lt** · 01-21-2009, 12:45 PM

I started working as a housekeeper in Oct 08. I work 2nd shift (1pm-9:30pm) My husband also works this shift. We have a 9 y/o. I don't make a whole lot of money. I work 5 days a week. We were making it before I started working. I also sell Avon, but that's been in a slump because of the hours I work. I love to sell Avon, it makes me happy. We were getting by, but by me having a job, it makes life more cushy. But I buy convience food because it's less time consuming. Although I love to cook. But what I paid for pre cooked chicken patties, I could have baked a whole chicken and had stuffing and mashed potatoes and gravy. And I know, I could do the oamc thing, but when you work 5 days a week and so does your husband, you almost need to cram 5 days of house work into 2 days. My husband tells me to quit, the house is suffering (it's a pit) and I've always took great pride in everything I have, but now I think to myself, oh who cares if it's broke, throw it out I can get new I have a job. I know this is a whine. But I would like some advice, having a job in this day and age is a good thing, but if my family and my sanity are suffering it's not...right? I found out in the last 3 months that money doesn't not buy happiness. Please I need so re assurance and support so I will know that everything is going to be okay. TIA

**Maine Girl** · 01-21-2009, 12:57 PM

Ok of course everything is going to be okay. Listen to your heart. If you want to stay home and can make it then do it. I also sell Avon and i know that if i put more time into it i could have my own little business. You can do the same. If you decide to stay home then you can cook meals at home and of course this website has so much info to help you get through. If you want to continue working then do so with a plan to make life less stressful for you. I hope this helped.

**tbs727** · 01-21-2009, 12:59 PM

It seems to me like your answer is pretty obvious. It's time to leave the job. One thing to consider first, is your husbands job secure? If not, don't give up the added security. After considering the money you will save, the time with your child, and the health of your family (cleanliness and cooking healthier food) it sounds like you will have a higher quality of life, even with less income.

I have a feeling that someone else has a more scientific way of figuring this out, but this is just my opinion. Good luck!

**Homekeepn** · 01-21-2009, 01:15 PM

I agree with the others. Good luck with whatever you choose.

**MommyBliss** · 01-21-2009, 01:42 PM

I agree with everyone else. Good luck with your choice, hon.

**ladykemma2** · 01-21-2009, 01:45 PM

i would keep the job. I have found that doing one room a day really helps with the dirt and clutter. the house is never clean all at one time but it is tolerable.

I work 10-12 hour days. when I get home, i do not sit down til the chore of the day is done. then i eat, exercise, take care of me , get my clothes ready for the next day, bathe and go to bed. this leave saturdays relatively free.

you can assign daily chores to everyone in the house. thier hands ain't broke.

**Momto2Boyz** · 01-21-2009, 01:54 PM

It sounds like you've got some really good advice above. I was in a similiar situation years ago, and chose to leave it, to be home and take care of my kids while they are young. But it was a long and painful journey to make the decision! And DH lost his job about a year after I quit working, so that made things tough too. In the long run, he got a better job and things have worked out wonderfully for us, but it was still a hard decision!

Good luck with whatever you choose. Could you go to part-time? Maybe that would ease your stress and you'd still have money coming in, and you'd be able to cook more to save money? Most importantly, you won't lose your sanity! Good luck! Whatever you decide to do will be the right thing~!

**vigilant20** · 01-21-2009, 01:58 PM

It doesn't sound like you'd be any worse off leaving your job. In fact, it sounds like you and your family would benefit from it. I know making such big decisions are hard though, especially if you rely on your routines the way I do.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do

**3tomboys** · 01-21-2009, 02:09 PM

I struggle with the job or stay at home problem all the time. It seems to be worse when I get unorganized or I am feeling overwhelmed and not balancing family, home and work in the priority I like them which is family first. I have been a SAHM when my dd's were young and I have been back in the full time work world for 9 years with a 7 month SAHM time period in those 9 years. You really have to look at what is the most important priorities and how can you make it all work for this time in your life. Sometimes that means giving up the job and cooking from scratch or going part time. This is not very helpful but what ever you decide will be right for you and your family.

**lotsadebt** · 01-21-2009, 03:17 PM

Look at the numbers of what it is costing you to work. They will not lie. Think clothing costs, child care, transportation, meal cost at work.
I agree that family members can pitch in and do alot of chores at home. They do live there too.

**UUMomof3** · 01-21-2009, 03:40 PM

Everyone has given you very good advice. One thing I read once, about making a tough decision and both choices are equally valid:

Flip a coin on it. Heads you quit, tails you keep the job. Look at the coin. Now ask yourself what you were really wishing the coin would be as you were looking. That's what you WANT.

This only works on choices that are equally acceptable though. If you are really miserable working or if you really need the income flipping a coin to figure out what you are wishing won't really help anyone.

**frugalbabe** · 01-21-2009, 03:42 PM

Is there a possibility of you changing your shift? How is 1-9:30 even doable with one still in school? I know I wouldn't be able to there is so much evening craziness with dinner, homework, extracurricular etc etc. My vote is always for one parent to be home full time or at least try to get a job that you are gone while child is at school and can be home with them when school is out. Your home will be cleaner, meals healthier and your child is just on the cusp of those tween and teen years where he/she will need you there or trouble tends to happen. Sounds to me like you and dh have your priorities straight remember just about ANYONE can do your job but not even ONE can take your place as wife and mom. You are the keeper of the hearth and it sounds like dh misses that as well!

**kita** · 01-21-2009, 04:26 PM

I agree with trying to change your shift. Even if you do something crazy like 11pm to 7am, you can sleep when the kids are in school.

**annymoll** · 01-21-2009, 09:08 PM

I personally would keep the job. In these times, I could never advise anyone to quit working. It sounds as though you just need to organize a little. Buy a crockpot . You can make a full meal in one(meat and veggies) very cheaply. The variety is endless. I agree with ladykemma2 that if you clean daily, with everyone pitching in, it makes the weekend easier. Work together as a team.I am not sure how your family is suffering because you are a working woman, but I think teamwork would help you feel less stressed.While money does not buy happiness, it does buy groceries, electricity, housing and other needs.You alone know your budget . Good luck whatever you decide.

**Cricket1** · 01-21-2009, 09:34 PM

That shift that you're working is tough. Can you work for yourself--clean a few houses and that way you can plan your work and only work a few days a week still bringing in some money?

Good luck with whatever you choose.