New trend in party throwing?

**justpeachy92** · 02-27-2009, 07:34 AM

Does anyone else see this happening where they live? Over the past few months my daughter has been invited to several friends' birthday parties. To attend each party at the party venue the guests had to pay. My husband has been invited to a bachelor party this weekend. It is a catered event at one of the guy's house, and the cost to attend is $30 a person to cover the cost of the food and alcohol. So I am just curious if the idea of having guests cover party costs is becoming a new trend for economic reasons across the nation, or maybe it is just a new trend in my neck of the woods.

**jonesies** · 02-27-2009, 07:37 AM

Eeek...no, I have not heard of this at all. Wow. I'm all for potluck, BYOB, etc. but a cover charge? LOL Can't say I'd be first in line at that party.

**Lady_V** · 02-27-2009, 07:46 AM

DD hasn't been invited to a party where she has to pay...

BUT -- I have noticed another 'trend'. Last May we threw DD a party at JumpOnIn and had cake, ice cream and juice for the kids in the party room and a small goody bag as they left. I had the presents brought in and as she opened them, I took a picture of her and the gift giver. My DD has been the ONLY child to have done this in a year!

Another thing that has been happening recently is, not only aren't the presents being opened during the party, but no one is giving goody bags out. The last party she went to, no opening of gifts, no parting bags, and NO THANK YOU!

She received a picture in the mail of all the kids and the birthday girls name and date on the bottom. Would it have killed the parents to put 'Thanks for coming to my party'?

**Buc-O-Mama** · 02-27-2009, 07:59 AM

I've heard of the paying for parties thing in some areas, especially if there's going to be a lot of alcohol. Never heard of it with a kid's party though. Not sure how I'd react to it.

**Trishagirl** · 02-27-2009, 08:30 AM

I've never heard of this & I wouldn't be going to those kinds of parties anyway.

**Spirit Deer** · 02-27-2009, 08:36 AM

Totally tacky.

**BlessedMomof2** · 02-27-2009, 08:55 AM

I haven't heard of anyone in my area having a party like that.

**mombottoo** · 02-27-2009, 10:30 AM

I have never heard of anybody I know having to pay to attend a function they were invited to as a guest. I have heard of people having guests bring can goods, etc. in lieu of gifts so the guest of honor could donate the items to a charity of their choice...which I think is kind of neat.

I wouldn't attend a function where I was expected to pay for the honor of being invited...seems very tacky to me. Potlucks are a different story, we have potlucks all the time. I have attended wedding receptions and birthday parties that were potluck...but, only some of the guests were asked to bring a dish (those closest to the guest(s) of honor).

**Momto2Boyz** · 02-27-2009, 10:59 AM

That is a pretty regular trend here for bachelor and bachelorette parties. It's been happening here like that forver, and I think that it is fine, that way the "stress" of paying for it doesn't fall only on the best man or bridesmaid.

I haven't heard of children's parties doing this though, that seems to be a bit much! My theory is, if I can't afford to have a billion kids at a birthday party, then we have a small one. When DS turned 6, DH was laid off, and we allowed him to invite 3 of his friends over for a "party". He enjoyed getting together with his friends and it didn't cost me a fortune!

I've noticed an influx of "home" parties though. It seems that at least twice a week someone is inviting me to a sales party. Just this week, I got a pampered Chef invite, a Discovery toys invite and a book party invite (can't remember the company name). I guess the sales people are really pushing people into party mode, and the hostess' all want to get some free goodies! Although, the frugalista in me will keep me away from everyone of these parties! Just don't need the stuff, and if I go, I always feel pressured to buy, so I stay far, far away!

**forHISglory** · 02-27-2009, 11:11 AM

I find this trend tacky. My party theory is to throw what you can afford. Fortunately, I haven't seen this trend around here.

But I went to a wedding shower recently where the bride opened the gifts, but would not show them to anyone, and had them whisked off as soon as they were opened. We are used to showers where the gifts are shown to the guests, and often are passed around to the "oohs" and "ahhs".

**Contrary Housewife** · 02-27-2009, 11:13 AM

I have seen it done as long ago as the mid 80's. I thought it was tacky. A co-worker was having an engagement party, and spreading the word, and then a friend of hers came around telling everyone it was going to be so much to attend, and that we were expected to bring dollar bills to drop into various gift baskets. Tacky tacky tacky.

I have seen this kind of wedding/engagement party more recently, it seems to be an accepted activity in a number of places. I'm not surprised to see it happening for birthday or bachelor parties too. Miss Manners did an article on it a few years ago (which I cannot now find) essentially saying that the host should not be throwing a party that was beyond his ability to afford, and shoving the cost off on his guests.

I would decline any invitation where I was expected to pay to attend.

**guest002** · 02-27-2009, 11:14 AM

No way would I pay for my child to attend a child's b-day party. Uber tacky if you ask me.

**Grayce** · 02-27-2009, 11:25 AM

I have never heard of paying to attend a children's party. I think that is just wrong. Asking guests to pay is terrible.

I have heard of the trend of having a party for a bride and groom and charging for it. Here they are called a "buck and doe" party. Basically it is a big dance where they sell tickets to get in and then charge for drinks. The idea is to make a profit and the bride and groom get the money. I think they are tacky money grabs and totally refuse to attend them.

**jas** · 02-27-2009, 11:41 AM

I have not heard of either trend here. That does not mean it is not happening though. My son is way past the kids b-day party trend. and DD who will be sweet 16 in a few days is kinda past that too. She does not want a big party (not that we could or would do that) we would have done something a little more for the 16 but she is not interested. Suits me fine. We would have no way had guests pay to attend, it would not have been that kinda party anyway. Just a little fancier party. Played it up a bit more.

If you plan a party at a party place, but then expect guests to pay you can't afford to have the party there in the first place. That is what gets people in trouble in the first place wanting and doing more than they can afford. Birthday parties have gotten way overboard in the first place.

The thought of not opening the gifts in front of the gift givers is WRONG! Why are people acting that way????? And someone said they were opened but not shown to anyone, how is that done? The person goes under a blanket to open them??? How rude, however it is done.

I really don't know how I feel about the bachelor and bachelorette parties where guests pay. I guess any I have been to that have been at bars were just like a girls night out we bought our own drinks and stuff and treated the bride. That was way back though!!!

**tbs727** · 02-27-2009, 11:51 AM

Originally Posted by jonesies

Eeek...no, I have not heard of this at all. Wow. I'm all for potluck, BYOB, etc. but a cover charge? LOL Can't say I'd be first in line at that party.

I would never ask my guests for money, and would not expect to be asked. I wouldn't go to a party if it costs $30. HA!