Purchasing replacement items...then feeling guilty

**rachelMcK** · 03-31-2009, 06:47 AM

Does this ever happen to you? We got this weeks paycheck, and on top of debt reduction, we had a bit to spare. We decided to buy a new cookware set. Our old ones were on their last legs. They were random pieces made from hand-me downs and garage sale finds. They were in such bad condition, it got to the point where it looked like i put pepper in every meal, except it wasn't pepper, it was teflon coating (ick). I scraped all the teflon on one pot, but then the handle broke off and left a hole in the side. I couldn't fix that one. So we decided on a budget of $150 and we stuck to that, got a nice new set. But now I feel a tinge of guilt.

I'm finding that there is a fine line between frugality and self-deprivation. I'm a very extreme person, either I do it all the way, or not at all. I'm finding that guilt is a feeling I get often when it comes to spending. Has anyone else found this, how do you deal with it?

Thanks

**hotprincesscm** · 03-31-2009, 07:04 AM

Well first off, congratulations on your new cookware set! Secondly, feel good that you are providing your family with healthier meals...There has been studies that show that teflon can cause cancer and with it flaking off in your food while you were cooking you were ingesting that coating. So don't feel guilty feel good that you are no longer ingesting a possible cancer causing agent!

**thefrug** · 03-31-2009, 07:16 AM

Good tools cost money. Do not feel guilty because your crappy tools went bad. This is why I do not use non-stick anything! ewwww. yuk! I have stainless steel, cast iron and a couple of visions pots left.
I'm looking at a pressure canner, and I know that for it last it will cost well over $250. I don't plan on feeling guilty. I'll be using it for years to come and it will help me save money on our food budget, so it's worth the initial investment.

**joyofsix** · 03-31-2009, 07:20 AM

I share your feelings. I have a very hard time replacing anything if there is even a teeny bit of life left in it. I will note this drives my dh crazy. I reglued my only pair of sneakers AGAIN. I just can't seem to bring myself to buy a new pair. I totally understand your feelings. I think we're probably weird, but I understand

**WV_mom_of2** · 03-31-2009, 07:35 AM

My washing machine died yesterday and everyone is telling me to try and fix it, try to find someone to fix it, etc. My dh is VERY unhandy and anytime he tries to fix something it honestly scares me. I never know if it will shock the crap out of me when I plug it back in, etc. I live in small town nothingville and there are no small repair men here.

My washer is 16 years old and it's been used ALOT! I'm really thinking of just buying a new one and being done with it. It's been my experience in the past that when something has been used that much and is that old, once it starts to go, it goes fast! But I have to say that I feel some guilt for even thinking of buying a new one when everyone seems so against it LOL.

**NewLeaf** · 03-31-2009, 08:03 AM

I always feel guilty when I buy something. That is exactly why my pots and pans are all hand me downs and oldies. My dh was just saying that I should go out and get a new set and throw away the old ones. I could throw away the old teflon pans but never my gm's good heavy Club (aluminum??) set. The color (olive green) has even come back in style (lol).
But it would be nice to have a really good stockpot.....

**fixer** · 03-31-2009, 08:45 AM

I really hate to but anything. When I do, I try to buy something that will last. I would rather pay more upfront than have to replace something two or three times.

**Momto2Boyz** · 03-31-2009, 09:13 AM

I'm guilty of this too. My dishwasher broke over a year ago and I haven't replaced it yet, because why spend the money when I have a perfectly good sink to wash dishes in. Eventually, I'll get a new one when I find a good, new-used one on Craigslist that doesn't cost a fortune!

Originally Posted by WV_mom_of2

My washing machine died yesterday and everyone is telling me to try and fix it, try to find someone to fix it, etc. My dh is VERY unhandy and anytime he tries to fix something it honestly scares me. I never know if it will shock the crap out of me when I plug it back in, etc. I live in small town nothingville and there are no small repair men here.

My washer is 16 years old and it's been used ALOT! I'm really thinking of just buying a new one and being done with it. It's been my experience in the past that when something has been used that much and is that old, once it starts to go, it goes fast! But I have to say that I feel some guilt for even thinking of buying a new one when everyone seems so against it LOL.

I'm laughing at your quote above mom of 2! I have an unhandy DH too. A few years ago, our washer went out. DH decided he was going to fix it. So he researched on the internet to find out what was wrong with it. Figured it out, but couldn't get to the part. He took the entire metal shell apart trying to get to the part. 2 days of constant work later, he got the part in, and got the washer back together and it worked! (We figured out later, that to get to the part, you just had to flip the washer over and go through the open bottom and didn't need to take anything apart!

He was ticked). Anyhoo, I think I washed 3 loads and something else on it broke!

We went out and bought a new washer that weekend. DH wasn't about to take that project on AGAIN! Sometimes even the frugalist of intentions, still results in buying a new one!

**Cricketlegs** · 03-31-2009, 09:27 AM

I don't have a problem replacing things if...

A. I budget it in. If it isn't in the budget it has to wait.

B. It is GOOD QUALITY. If you buy quality and take care of it you will save from overbuying cheap again and again and end up spending more that way.

C. If it is something I need that makes this house run smoother saving me time and energy to devote to other areas to save me money then I am all over that.

Every decision I make has a $$$ factor and I plan ahead, think it through, and find the best route.

and sometimes I get TIRED, really tired...

**Spirit Deer** · 03-31-2009, 09:43 AM

I was raised to feel guilty about spending any money, but I got over it. There are certain things a person really NEEDS and feeling guilty about buying those things makes no sense.

Anything, including saving money, can be taken to the point of obsession.

I'm also married to one of those 'unhandy' guys. Luckily, I know which end of the wrench to use myself, and we quit assigning tasks based on gender decades ago.

**cab54** · 03-31-2009, 10:18 AM

Even frugal people have to buy something SOMETIME. And if it's new--maybe it's high time.

I got my first 'set' (I actually bought them in seperate pieces, because that is how the store had them on clearance, but they are all the parts of a 'set' I would want and use) of decent pots and pans when I'd been married 28 years. It was high time.

**MomToTwoBoys** · 03-31-2009, 10:55 AM

I don't think you should have to feel guilty about buying something that your family really needs.

Sure, you can get things like that through yard sales, thrift stores, etc...but when it comes to the health of your family, it's perfectly fine to buy things like that as brand new.

At least you guys stuck to a budget amount and you didn't splurge on a set that was more than that. I've seen some people spend way more than you guys did on things like that and it makes my jaw drop sometimes.

I used to use the non-stick stuff but then we had the same thing happen: it would flake off into our food, made us sick, etc so our next set of cookware (which was a wedding gift from MIL) was stainless steel. I simply use cooking spray to take care of any sticking.

**justpeachy92** · 03-31-2009, 11:01 AM

I don't have an issue spending the money to replace something that is broke or worn out. My replacement issue falls on things that were tossed because someone didn't think we would need it then, then we find out we need it and have to go buy it again. My middle daughter has a father/daughter dance thing coming up at her school. I had planned on taking in the dress that my oldest wore to her 8th grade dance. Oldest daughters boyfriend borrowed the dress, for a school fundraiser. School had a pageant where the guys dressed in drag. The dress got lost in the process, so now I have to buy another dress for middle dd to wear. Is a replacement that doesn't really make me feel guilty, but sure does frustrate me.

**Thevail** · 03-31-2009, 04:42 PM

Originally Posted by WV_mom_of2

My washing machine died yesterday and everyone is telling me to try and fix it, try to find someone to fix it, etc. My dh is VERY unhandy and anytime he tries to fix something it honestly scares me. I never know if it will shock the crap out of me when I plug it back in, etc. I live in small town nothingville and there are no small repair men here.

My washer is 16 years old and it's been used ALOT! I'm really thinking of just buying a new one and being done with it. It's been my experience in the past that when something has been used that much and is that old, once it starts to go, it goes fast! But I have to say that I feel some guilt for even thinking of buying a new one when everyone seems so against it LOL.

It's usually a good idea to see if something can be fixed, since a new belt is usually much less than a new machine..but..

If you're old washer is 16 years old
A) You already got your money's worth out of that thing, seriously.

B) you're probably right about something else going soon simply because any new part will put extra pressure on the "old" parts to keep up.

and
C) You'll actually save money with a new one because the new energy star efficiency ratings mean that the new washer won't use nearly as much water and power to perform the same tasks.

**sabrelvssammy** · 03-31-2009, 07:03 PM

Originally Posted by Spirit Deer

I was raised to feel guilty about spending any money, but I got over it. There are certain things a person really NEEDS and feeling guilty about buying those things makes no sense.

Anything, including saving money, can be taken to the point of obsession.

I'm also married to one of those 'unhandy' guys. Luckily, I know which end of the wrench to use myself, and we quit assigning tasks based on gender decades ago.

thanks spirit on the gender thing...just before dh left on his 'little golf trip' he announced to me that he 'broke' the bathroom faucet--could i look at it and fix it... (not because he wasn't going to have the 'time'...because i am the one that knows how to do it...)....

and unless you bought the cookware set and then go out to eat everynight then you have absolutely no reason to feel any guilt, remorse or any of those other 'nasty, negative' feelings.... if they are going to make your life easier and make cooking less a chore for you...then you NEED to have them....