Should I Eat Out at Work?

[Wooly Milk]

I was a university student last year and now I work in public finance. To be frugal, my mom makes me lunch, which I bring to work and eat there. To compensate my parents, I pay them approximately $300 per month, although lately they have requested I pay $700 per month instead.

Last Friday, three other co-workers invited me out to lunch with them. We went to a restaurant and ate. To convince the restaurant that I was not a parasite using up their space without paying, I purchased a Coke Zero to drink with my sandwich. While I ate the sandwich, everyone else ate lasagne, chips, and lettuce purchased from the restaurant.

Even though I saved money by not buying food from the restaurant, I felt as if I was not fitting in to the organization's culture and that this might have adverse long-term effects. Everyone else had plates, cutlery, and fine food while I was eating a simple sandwich prepared from home.

Should I continue to be frugal at work or should I abandon frugality at work for the sake of fitting in, which may increase my wage in the long run?

This issue applies not only to the food I eat at work. I am frugal in many other ways. For example, I wear a $30 wristwatch and I have a $500 suit that's slightly too big for me but I am reluctant to change it because of the costs.

Over the weekend, in order to save money, I usually just sit at home and read things on the Internet. I also exercise. On Monday, when I return to work, co-workers usually ask me, "What did you do over the weekend?" I usually tell them I did nothing and they usually have a look of disappointment on their face. Conversations are harder to sustain when you seem like a boring person. I have thought about inventing stuff up and lying to co-workers, telling them that I go rockclimbing, bushwalking, etc. However, being a Christian I remember that the Bible says, "Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord." I therefore have to be honest.

How do you balance the demands of frugality and conformity in your life? What would you do in my position?

[Debbie-cat]

I would bring my lunch. After time you might even convince others to do the same!

[mommy4ever]

$700 is steep for lunches, still cheaper than eating out every day. Is that $700 just for the food? Or is that rent too? Now that you're working, I can see them asking for rent, so I thought I'd clarify.

If the $700 is just for lunches, personally I wouldn't give up brown bagging it, but would purchase my own lunch groceries. HOwever I'd set aside 1 day a week to go out with co-workers, every day is excessive. We go out for supper once a month and I never eat out for lunch. But I am a SAHM, so no work culture here!

[_kit]

I'm not sure what type of restaurant you went out to but normally they don't let you bring in your own food to eat. That might be seen as a little odd.

I bring my lunch to work most days and it's never a big deal. Sometimes I go out to lunch and order food in a restaurant but I try to limit that to once or twice a month. That still gives me a chance to socialize with my coworkers but doesn't kill my budget.

Maybe on the weekends you can pick up a hobby that you like to do? Not all hobbies are expensive and they can still be interesting and give you something to talk about. Instead of saying you did nothing over the weekend you could talk about some interesting book you're reading or how you've taught yourself how to repair something or make something.

[onencgirl]

Eating out with coworkers once a week or a couple times a month would work I would think. I'm a bit confused about the $700. Is that room and board?

[thehughughes]

I 'm also confused on the 700.00.
I have strugled in the past with this. In the begining I was eating out to much just to keep social with the others. Then I learned if I brought a bag of bagles, cream cheese , and ham my new friends would sit at work with me for lunch. Then they started bring them. Now we are all just bring in our left overs from dinner. I feel that eating lunch out a couple times a month is fine if its in the budget.

[Thevail]

*caution* Potentially too personal..

It sounds as if you are asking us for permission...
Which means you already know what you want to do..

If your parents want you to pay $700/mo for rent etc, and that covers everything it's a darn good deal.

If it's just rent it's probably too much since you could easily do a studio cheaper unless you live in Manhattan.

If it's just for your lunches...they are trying to get you to move out. I send a really nice lunch with my hubby for work EVERY day..and it's about $40 a week.
{ I know that's a lot, but he works 10 to 12 hour days so it's actually 2 meals worth of food and drinks.}

A lot of whether it's a better idea for you to eat with people from work or to eat at work with your frugal lunch depends on the circumstances.

Are there others at your work place who also brown-bag it? You could always eat lunch with them.

Do all the people from your department eat out together every day? If so, it's probably important (especially if you're new) to cement those social bonds with your co-workers. Besides maybe that's when they make plans for the weekends! They might like to invite you along, but not really know what to do about it.

But, as peer-pressurey as it sounds. Lawyers wear lawyer suits for a reason... Doctors golf together, it's expected ( I happen to know even a few that HATE golf that do it)... I'd reccomend not getting to be the new "wierd" guy.

I'm with quite a few other people on the board, why not just figure on going out with them one or two days a week. You could make some good friends at work.

Bwahaahaa...then CONVERT them to frugality!

[ladykemma2]

I was a university student last year and now I work in public finance. To be frugal, my mom makes me lunch, which I bring to work and eat there. To compensate my parents, I pay them approximately $300 per month, although lately they have requested I pay $700 per month instead.from previous posts i have it in my head that you live in san francisco? seattle? i remember that you have a lot of cash saved to buy a house. i would continue to live with the parents for a reasonable amount of time until you can purchase a home or townhouse. BUT remember that girls won't go out with you if you still live with mommy. Asian culture not sure.

Last Friday, three other co-workers invited me out to lunch with them. We went to a restaurant and ate. To convince the restaurant that I was not a parasite using up their space without paying, I purchased a Coke Zero to drink with my sandwich. While I ate the sandwich, everyone else ate lasagne, chips, and lettuce purchased from the restaurant.Be honest with your co-workers about saving for a house, or a wedding, or student loans or something. tell them you would like to be included, say, every friday???? it's nice that they invite you because work can be cliquey. also the cliques cna be the only way to stay in the loop. it's not fun to find out that something is due today at 3 and no one told you.

Even though I saved money by not buying food from the restaurant, I felt as if I was not fitting in to the organization's culture and that this might have adverse long-term effects. Everyone else had plates, cutlery, and fine food while I was eating a simple sandwich prepared from home.

Should I continue to be frugal at work or should I abandon frugality at work for the sake of fitting in, which may increase my wage in the long run?

This issue applies not only to the food I eat at work. I am frugal in many other ways. For example, I wear a $30 wristwatch and I have a $500 suit that's slightly too big for me but I am reluctant to change it because of the costs.spend for a suit that fits you. an expensive tailored one. I am surprised that people still wear suits. mostly over in houston men wear khaki trousers and a nice button up shirt or something. Expensive mens shoes too, like, cole haan. YOU MUST FIT IN AT WORK. don't be the weird guy.

Over the weekend, in order to save money, I usually just sit at home and read things on the Internet. I also exercise. On Monday, when I return to work, co-workers usually ask me, "What did you do over the weekend?" I usually tell them I did nothing and they usually have a look of disappointment on their face. Conversations are harder to sustain when you seem like a boring person. I have thought about inventing stuff up and lying to co-workers, telling them that I go rockclimbing, bushwalking, etc. However, being a Christian I remember that the Bible says, "Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord." I therefore have to be honest. "not a whole lot, did laundry got some good rest...read a good book can it tell you about it?"

How do you balance the demands of frugality and conformity in your life? What would you do in my position?

I wanted to add: with the recession and all, make frugality at work the "in thing". i have a co-worker whatever i bring for lunch, next day he brings. he is trying on frugality. but my frugal efforts irritate a couple of others.

[Grainlady]

#1. If you are earning enough money to pay your parents $700/month, then you should also budget enough to give yourself a CASH "allowance" each week, what hubby and I call our "walking-around money", and Dave Ramsey calls "blow money". We've always had this line item in our budget. That should give you the money you need for your general spending money, which would include an occasional lunch out with your co-workers, buying stamps, going to the movie or other outing, etc.....

#2. When our youngest (our son) lived with us while he attended college locally, and also worked a couple part time jobs, we charged him a reasonable amount for room and board. HOWEVER, we put that money away in a savings account for our son (he didn't know this at the time); and when he transferred to another college 2-hours away, we gave him ALL that money back. He was able to pay his first and last months rent on a new place, had money for utilities, etc.....on top of what he'd saved for the move himself. We didn't see our son as a get-rich-quick program but as an opportunity to get him accustomed to making his monthly financial obligations. He learned to pay us by the 1st of the month and always paid us earlier than that. A good thing to do in the real world, as well.....

I'd suggest you talk to your parents about going back to that $300 number and you banking the $400 for a period of time until you have enough money saved so you can get a place of your own. You'll be happier controling your own life, making your own lunches, and the million and one other decisions we all make sooner or later as adults.

[2ndGenGranola]

I too must question the jump from $300 to $700. Is someone telling you it is time to leave the nest?

I think I would eat with the coworkers. I would use that as my big meal of the day then eat a light evening meal. They say it is healthier to eat your big meal earlier rather than later anyway. I don't think that is abandoning frugality, you still need to make wise choices.

I see no problem with a $30 watch. I have one that is quite nice looking. The suit is another thing. It doesn't matter if it is $2 or $500, it needs to fit well. Maybe consider having a drycleaner/seamstress tailor it for you. It will look more professional. Also look around at some high end thrift stores or consignment shops.

[tervsforme]

I would go out to lunch with your co-workers one day a week. You don't need to order the most expensive thing on the menu, but that way you can still socialize and form bonds and build friendships. This is exactly what I do. I get to socialize, but I still stick to my budget.

[rainbowgc]

Sorry but I would need more info before offering a suggestion.

[perSue]

i dont know where you live, but if my parents increased what I "offered" to pay them to something more than twice as much, I'd hit the road. But that's me.

here's the thing w/corporate america.
You either fit in or you don't.
If you don't, you're less likely to get a promotion, higher increase in pay, move up the ladder, etc.

IF you are invited out, do NOT eat food you brought from home. That can be seen as rude, tacky & just plain inconsiderate (to the restaurant).

If you dont want to lie about what you do on weekends... then DO something. Go to a local park or nature preserve. many offer classes (inexpensive or free) on weekends to learn about flowers, gardening, bugs/butterflies, etc.

Find something to do for free... OR get invited by a coworker & join them. That way you're more of a "team player" on & off the "field".

If you want to save money, bring your lunch in on most days. Make an agreement, you only want to eat out on Fridays or some other day of the week (maybe a day that your boss is going out to eat & all others join).
People will understand - ESPECIALLY since you're new to the whole deal.

It all depends on what YOU want to do.
But projecting an image - the right image - is super important to your career. So be mindful.
Rather than eating your homemade lunch at your desk, go outside & eat - more opportunities for networking!
Walk/Drive to a local park & eat there. See if someone else wants to go with you, you can make it an exercise lunch... eat then walk or vice versa.

Depending on where you live, you should have _at least_ these things, if not more. there are tons of things you can do.

Just please dont eat your homemade food in a restaurant - at least not with your coworkers!

[frugal.lass]

Over the weekend, in order to save money, I usually just sit at home and read things on the Internet. I also exercise. On Monday, when I return to work, co-workers usually ask me, "What did you do over the weekend?" I usually tell them I did nothing and they usually have a look of disappointment on their face. Conversations are harder to sustain when you seem like a boring person. I have thought about inventing stuff up and lying to co-workers, telling them that I go rockclimbing, bushwalking, etc. However, being a Christian I remember that the Bible says, "Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord." I therefore have to be honest.

Frugality does NOT equal "boring"!!! What about all the things you can do that are fun/interesting that aren't costly??? Hiking isn't expensive, you just need a pair of shoes/boots with good support and traction. My friends in Vancouver (who live all over the city) converge on Stanley Park each weekend to join each other for a run along the sea wall. If you ever go for runs, find a nice trail and tell other runners/health-minded people in the office about "your" trail and what is so nice about it. Volunteering is a great way to occupy your time and not spend tons of money (I've volunteered at places that even gave volunteers transit tokens to cover the expense of commuting but that is probably not common). Sure you might get stuck moving boxes at a food bank but you can chat with the other people moving boxes while you're there!! Places like museums and galleries might give you passes for admission in exchange for your volunteer time. See if any of your friends are interested in doing a book club. My friends and I did one for awhile that focused on the classics...our libraries always had those books available (no long wait times like newer bestsellers). Take up yoga...pretty much every yoga studio I know of in various Canadian cities offers an "energy exchange" where you get free yoga classes in exchange for working a few hours doing either reception, cleaning, administrative tasks, etc.

It's okay to be a homebody. I go through phases of being very social and then really just enjoying time alone. But don't sit at home doing nothing because you "have" to in order to be frugal!!

And just as a warning...most restaurants WON'T allow you to just buy a drink and eat your own food. At the restaurants I've worked, you would have been asked to order a food item off the menu or leave. I'm just mentioning this because it could have turned into a very awkward situation for you and your coworkers (something to avoid if you're worried they think of you as an outsider)...if you choose to join them at a restaurant, make sure you leave room in your budget to order something...even if it's only a small appetizer with water to drink. The weather is getting nicer though, why not suggest they order takeout somewhere and join you (with your homemade lunch) for alfresco dining in a nearby parkette or public square??

[peanut]

I have a number of comments...

1) I have just had a 21 yo leave the nest. We never charged more than $200CAD room and board. It all went into an education fund for her for post-secondary education. She's used it. I would question why your parents are wanting to charge you so much and just where it's all going.

2) I would do the lunch thing occasionally, but not every day. Plus I would take healthy snacks on those days...and eat a salad or something light and cheap for lunch.

3) If you need an excuse to skip lunching every day, just tell them you are working out over noon hour and go for a walk or something after your bag lunch. The YMCA is often a cheap gym to go to. Invite them to join you. You may all get in shape then!

4) I suspect you do more than you think on the weekends. Even if you're just at home on the Internet or watching TV, you do have specific interests. Your co-workers may not be interested in frugality, but there are probably other areas of interest for you. And, as others have said, it doesn't hurt to get out and take classes somewhere. The public library often offers free lectures and films. Or you could go volunteer someplace like the humane society.

It is good for everyone to have a balanced life...to give as well as get in life. Helping others gives a person an incredible feeling of positive self-worth...it just plain feels good to help someone or thing!

I, also, would not take a bag lunch into a restaurant. That would be rude from my perspective.