need help

[frugal is fun]

Ok, so I've been in FV for a while now. I have no debt, I have my utilities at an all time low, I have my grocery bill at an all time low. I do my best to find free entertainment or at least cheap entertainment but I'm still having trouble with spending on things that are wants and not needs.

perfect example. Last night I "wanted" chinese food. It was a later night than usual for me and I didn't get home until 7:30pm. I had a freezer full of food and a pantry full of food. I could have easily just thrown on a hotdog or hamburger and called it a night. But instead I ordered chinese food. Now I did split one "meal" with my boyfriend so we only spent $8 instead of $16 but I know this was me just being lazy.

How do you avoid things like this happening? I need to get over the needs and take that money and put it away.

I'd love to hear any tips you have to resist the evil "Wants" temptation.

[savvy_sniper]

Frugal is one thing. Denying yourself everything all the time is another. Do you budget for splurges? If not, then you need to!

[Greebo]

We budget a certain amount for dining out. We put cash in an envelope every month, and if the envelope is empty, we don't order out.

To my thinking, there's nothing inherently *wrong* with ordering out occasionally. Sometimes *not* working over the stove is worth the extra $$. This, of course, is provided you are actually able to afford dining out w/o impeding your ability to pay the things you NEED to pay.

I mean, if you can't make ends meet, if you're getting calls from collection agents, etc. then dining out is outright stupidity when you can eat more cheaply with a little elbow grease. But if your budget is in the black, your debts are paid or at least coming down nicely, it's *OK* to loosen up a little bit and have some semblance of a life.

[Contrary Housewife]

I allow for small things. It's unrealistic to go to a craft show with a friend and not want to spend money, so I take $20. I may or may not spend it but if I do I don't feel guilty for blowing the budget because it was allowed. I know I can't afford the more expensive shows with $45 classes and the overnight at a hotel, so in a way it is easier to resist them.


Dh likes to have cash in his pocket, so I get cash once in a while for that purpose. He doesn't spend it very quickly, so we don't go through that much, he just likes to have it on hand. So if the guys at work suddenly all want to go out for lunch, he's not on the spot and he has his 'allowance' which won't mess things up.

I also expect to eat out or get take-out once or twice a month. Some days just don't go as planned, or I am feeling really bad. So we get fried chicken or chinese or something and don't worry about it. But we don't turn it into a weekly thing. It's a relief, not a habit.

It's ok to have wants. Wants can add a lot of joy to life. The key is to not let them take over your life and put you in debt. A lot of people buy 'wants' that they don't really want. You know, stuff that they lose interest in within a few days or weeks. I try to determine if it's really something I think will be fun or entertaining or used more than once, vs. an "ooh shiny!" kind of want. It also helps to keep a list and come back to it a month later and see if they are things you still want.

[mommy4ever]

You are on the right path. No debt! Utilities at a minimum. That is all fantastic! Now look at the budget, do you have dining out/take out budget? What about entertainment? Clothing for YOU? Pampering? None of these have to be a huge amount. You don't NEED to use it up every month either, you can let it build. You clothing allowance might be only $25 a month, but in the course of the year, it's $400, that could nicely update your wardrobe without breaking your budget. Entertainment, might only be $5 a week for a movie rental, but if you don't always use it, that's $20 a month(moving out), or $240 a year! That could be a mini trip to a hotel for a little relax down time, or gas money to get out of town to your folks(assuming they don't live near by). The pampering, could be the $30 a month for a hair cut, don't need one every month? $60 could be a color, or a few months down the line a mini spa trip for a mani cure AND cut and color.

I don't know what your budget is, these things might not have room right now, it might only be a $5 entertainment per month, and a $20 eating out a month, but the fact that you do allow for a little give in the budget is very important in success of frugality. No room for a little fun increases the rate of failure to a frugal lifestyle. Frugal doesn't mean never having a nice trinket or nice home. Or a trip. Frugal is living within our means, to pay things off(which you apparently have), and allow us to save for the future, to save for things we'd like, for things we want to do. No point in saving money but never ever using it. You can't take it with you. That said, it isn't a carte blanche to spend spend spend either. But putting aside a portion of the budget, be it 1% or 20%, for things that you want, will make being frugal that much more rewarding.

A want isn't evil if you can save for it and have cash to get it. The evil is I WANT IT NOW and pulling out the cc.

[frugal is fun]

I have to say I am surprised by your answers.


Thanks for the advice!!

[shoiji]

As long as you can spend the $8 I really would not worry about it. Sure if you start doing it everyday it could get expensive. You could also try to make extra of whatever you make and put some in the freezer. That way all you need to do is defrost in the microwave.

Just keep in mind if you completely limit yourself you may find yourself feeling deprived. Having a little "mad" money set aside for the week or month may help. Try and ease up on yourself. $8 for dinner for two seems like a really good bargain!

[larabelle]

You have to be nice to you!!! especially when your finances are in the black.. enjoy an $8.00 meal.

[peanut]

If your finances are in the black, and you have money already being set aside for upcoming expenses, then it is okay to indulge in a bit of nurturing for yourself. Remember though, nurturing doesn't have to cost money.

I think when I had issues like this I really had to sit down and analyze why I wanted to dine out. I made a list that included things like:
~ I'm bored,
~ I want to entertain company,
~ I'm too tired to cook,
~ I feel like celebrating...etc.

Then I brainstormed all the possible solutions to those situations. For example...

1. I'm bored - cook ethnic, have a picnic, grilling night (DH cooks), etc.
2. I want to entertain - grilling night, crockpot night, if it's my girlfriend's...have them for tea and a hm cheesecake from the freezer (I make ahead and freeze for such occasions).
3. I'm tired - mega cooked meals come out of the freezer, DH cooks (or the girls when they were home), we go out to a buffet or sub place.
4. I'm celebrating - we go out for dessert to a restaurant, or lunch, or tea, or breakfast...all considerably cheaper than supper. If it's a real serious celebration then we go for a full supper meal. But other ways to celebrate in our house include cracking out the china, crystal and silverware (all garage sale finds and gifts) and "putting on the dog". No one complains about these suppers and I often get lots of help in the kitchen. It can be as simple as you want though...including a glass of wine and cheese, cracker and fruit plate in front of the fireplace.

I guess I see this as a case where a little creativity and planning ahead could save you a lot of money and plenty of guilt feelings.

{{{Hugs}}}

Jean

[Ebbie]

I don't like relying on "willpower" not to do something, so if there is a behaviour I want to change I change the "environment" instead.

For example, your chinese take-out example. If I made a commitment to not ordering chinese food and I wanted to stick to it here's what I'd do:

How did you know what phone number to call for the takeout? Rip the pages out of the phone book or get rid of that fridge magnet with the number on it.

Two, how did you pay for the food? Did you have $8 cash in your wallet? Then get rid of it. Only carry a small amount (to make an emergency phone call if you need to). But don't carry money around because if you have it you'll spend it.

So next time you want to order takeout...you can't....no phone number to call...no way to pay for it. So you don't rely on "willpower" not to do it...you don't do it because you've changed your environment and made it physically impossible to do it.

That's just the system I use.

[Siebrie]

It helped me to just not sit down after I came home tired from work. I was tired anyway, so I might just as well put on the extra 15 minutes effort to get myself a simple meal or meal from the freezer.

I knew that the moment I sat down after work, and especially when I switched on the telly, that I would not get up for another 2 hours. I would then start grazing and not have a nice full belly. This would continue until the weekend, when I had the energy and time to get my act together.

When I did make the extra 15 minutes effort, I could take a 30 minute rest after supper (no telly), and have a whole evening ahead of me, and even have the energy to do things.

[frugal is fun]

Thanks everyone.

I've been thinking more about this. I am in the black for my financial situation. However I am buying a house, closing June 30th, by myself. Exciting but a bit scary.

I think I'm freaking out a bit about the little stuff that will come with the house. I can afford the house so I'm not worried about that but I will want to paint, clean and make minor repairs before moving in and I don't want to touch my savings unless absolutely necessary.

So I think what I need to do for me, at least for now, is take that $8 I would have spent on the Chinese and put it away. Every time one of those moments when I want something that I don't need comes along, I resist the urge and put the money away. I bet in a couple of weeks I will have a nice little stash of cash that will be available for said paint and repairs.

I appreciate all the tips and thoughtfulness that went into your responses.

[Tai]

Well, if you're looking for ways to resist the urge to splurge every now and then, I have some suggestions! I will say, don't beat yourself up for occasionally caving to the cravings, though!

You know what your cravings are. For me, it is:

(Asian) noodles eaten out of a takeout carton, stirfry, and a couple of teriyaki chicken pieces. I make either spaghetti or ramen noodles (no seasoning packet!) and toss with bottled sweet and sour sauce. Stir fry is a bag of frozen Asian veggies, some precooked diced chicken, and a bit of hoisin sauce. The chicken pieces (usually wings) I make a tray of once in a while, then freeze 4-6 wings or two drumsticks per pack. Then, when I want a quicky Asian meal, I have it ready to go in the freezer- and it takes less time to make it than it does to order and pick up takeout!

For the pizza craving- I only make pizza crusts in quadruple batches. I blind-bake the crusts so that I can pull the crust out of the freezer, top, and heat through.

For the tex-mex craving- I make homemade burritos and freeze them. I also have beans and rice pre-cooked in the freezer, all I have to do is defrost and season.

I also have chicken breasts pounded out in the freezer- they defrost and cook very quickly, so they're perfect for oven-'fried' chicken. Use panko for breading and you get that crunch! Our favorite fried chicken sides are potato wedges (I use grill seasoning or cajun seasoning on both the potatos and the chicken, depending on what we want) creamed spinach and creamed corn.

[Sassyclass]

Your screen name says it all. Frugal is "fun". Make time to have some, wether it's eating out, going to a movie, or meeting friends at a club, we all need to have a little money for things other than bills. We can do these things because we are frugal. I agree as long as your bills are paid and you have the extra money do something for yourself.

Cat

[Jill B.]

As someone who just bought a house a week ago, I can tell you that you will have to dip into savings for lots of stuff. We had to buy things like a fridge, and we will need some air conditiners, etc. We bought over $400 worth of paint and just supplies for repairs. It is tough to not dig into savings. However, I am so happy for you and wish you the best of luck in your new home!!!