Depression

**Guest57** · 07-08-2009, 11:49 PM

Okay, my fellow frugaliers, I could use some 'lifting up' tonight....do any of you get weary of always having to stick to the strict budget, pre-plan all the meals, watch for/clip/use all the coupons you possibly can, read the sales flyers every week?! I am very sad and I think that I am on burn out...PLEASE HELP ME!!

**frugalfranny** · 07-09-2009, 12:00 AM

Hang in there JM.......part of it could be the weather. You aren't far from me and we need some SUNSHINE........it will be here in a couple days.

The other thing is the economy now just plain SUCKS.....change your pattern of what you have been doing. That is one thing that will help me when I feel like I am burnt out. Even if it is going for a walk with my kids.....it can help.

**mauimagic** · 07-09-2009, 12:05 AM

Oh JBM - your angst comes through your words. I too think that you are in a valley of despair....the good news is that it will not last. You are so wise to ask for help and support.

What can I do that will help you? Please know that you are not alone - we've all been there and may be there again. You will get through this. One thing that I've learned is that the only thing that I can control is my reaction and attitude towards what happens in my life.

Can you take any kind of break? Is there anyone who can take up the slack for you for any amount of time? Even planning for a break can help our mental attitude. Who is there who can support you in any way?

Please let us know how you are doing. Communicate any and all of your feelings. Vent. This is a safe place and we do understand.

Please take care. Sending prayers and hugs your way.

**Luv2BeFrugal** · 07-09-2009, 01:14 AM

Sending you hugs...don't worry...these rough times will pass!!

**Siebrie** · 07-09-2009, 04:58 AM

Do you have time (and energy) to try out something new? Variety is the spice of life! So, after you've taken the walk suggested by other posters, try to make or bake something with the things you have on hand.

What I like to do is: take an ingredient and search the internet for recipes. The ingredient I pick is not something exotic like 'avocado', but more like 'cream of tartar' or something as basic as that.

**ladykemma2** · 07-09-2009, 07:04 AM

Originally Posted by JinglebellesMom

Okay, my fellow frugaliers, I could use some 'lifting up' tonight....do any of you get weary of always having to stick to the strict budget, pre-plan all the meals, watch for/clip/use all the coupons you possibly can, read the sales flyers every week?! I am very sad and I think that I am on burn out...PLEASE HELP ME!!

sun and exercise. vitamins a,d,e,c, b-complex, and iron. can you work a tiny reward into the next budget? i do rewards every 90 days or else i burn out.

whe i first started a bottle of fabuloso was the "treat", then as the work progressed, the rewards became more pricey. my last reward was at the bs3 completion mark, a coach purse.

**Ceashels** · 07-09-2009, 08:40 AM

I too feel like I get in the frugal doldrums on occasion and it can be a chore to stick to a routine long term. I find that working on a creative hobby helps me, so I taught myself to knit (via books), finally learned to tat (found a teacher), taught myself how to bake basic bread (rofl, what an experience early on), etc.

<Insert Creativity here!>

Things that have helped me have been to limit my "research" and organization of sales/coupons for the week to one day (when I get the flyers or online) maybe 2 times if that's how the schedule works out. I usually do the task with my morning cup of coffee to sweeten the time. This way once I'm done, I'm done.

I try to plan a month of dinner menus but keep it flexible and do the shopping by the week for what I need. Perhaps making a tag for every meal you can prep and pull it out of a hat so that dinner has some element of "Oh, that would be nice" or let someone else pick the dinner at random.

I like the idea of researching an ingredient online but I'm a little geeky and love to cook.

What strengths and interests do you have that lend themselves to being frugal, being creative and still enjoy doing? You can use those ideas to springboard into something that will help you out of the doldrums. Do you have the time to volunteer somewhere? One of my clients is in her late 80's and chatting with her is wonderful because she grew up using everything, wasting nothing and learning from her reinforces the frugal things I do/want to do.

I wish you well in finding the path out of the funk.

**fixer** · 07-09-2009, 08:57 AM

You need to have a goal in order for all of the sacrifices to be worth it. It is hard to do without. Sometimes I think I get "frugal fatigue". Whether it is making many calls to get price quotes or simply shopping and looking at every items to make sure it is the best buy. It helps to know you are working toward something that will be worth the trouble in the end.

**Ceashels** · 07-09-2009, 09:08 AM

Originally Posted by fixer

Sometimes I think I get "frugal fatigue".

Good Word. And you are totally right about the goals. Greebo and I have been "virtual spending" our savings when his car gets paid off. LOL

**Grainlady** · 07-09-2009, 09:12 AM

I guess I've been frugal so long it's just become a way of life and it's no longer a drudgery. I've gotten over the hill, so to speak.

The one time I was totally depressed with being "poor and frugal" was when my single sister-in-law and her high-style friend (with money to "burn") came to the town where we were living (well below the poverty line while hubby was going to college) and insisted I go shopping with them. I'd never been in those stores and quickly realized how being satisified with what you have and can afford is much easier on your mind than wanting what you can't afford. Years later when hubby was out of college and making a great income, I went back to those stores and bought myself a nice outfit.

I also study home economics (aka being frugal) all the time, so I am always trying to make improvements. I've been frugal all my married life because the goal was to be debt free and able to retire with dignity and not have to depend on Social (IN)Security. Now in our mid-50's, I'd say being frugal was WELL worth the effort. Even though our income has gone up substantially since those "below poverty" days, I'm still frugal.

Our grown daughter said she never realized how frugal I was all those years while she was growing up until she was married (16 years now). She thought everyone had a mother who made meals from scratch, make homemade baked goods, sewed clothes, curtains/drapes, and knitted, crocheted, and quilted things for the house and family. She said some of the most fun she ever had was CRAFTING Christmas gifts.

So hang in there - years from now you'll reap the fruits of your frugality too.

1. Do you budget yourself any "blow" money? I treat myself to a shopping trip to the thrift stores, Dollar Tree, Big Lots, or the Dollar Store with "blow" money once a month, or so. I usually end up buying household items, but it's a mood booster none the less.

I also give myself a "day off" each week - usually Thursday, but it can change depending on what's available to attend around town. As a homemaker I often think I'm on duty 24/7 so my day off is used for all kinds of things from taking or teaching classes, attending the Noon Coolers (with a sack lunch) at the local Historical Library during the summer, Art-In-The-Park (with a sack lunch) during the spring and fall, going to the library or the used book store, lunch out with a friend (I often pack a nice picinic lunch and meet a friend or my husband at the park on my day off).

2. For inspiration, I'll read Amy Dacyczyn's Tightwad Gazette books again. She had always wanted a large family and a rural pre-1900 New England farmhouse (with attached barn), and how they managed to save the money to get their dream will make us see how sacrifice has LOTS of rewards in the end.

3. I like to challenge myself to new things, so I'll try to incorporate a new recipe in the menus each week. That means thumbing through my cookbooks while watching TV at night, a trip to the library to check out a stack of cookbooks or cooking/baking DVDs/tapes, or an Internet search.

I don't write out strict menus because I don't like to be tied down that much. I like a little more flexibility, so I follow this general plan where any one night can be exchanged for any other and I find most of the things I use for the meal already in the freezer - add fresh veggies and fruit and I've got a meal ready.

I may only have to make freezer mashed potatoes a few times a year when I find potatoes buy one bag get one bag free - so there is generally frozen mashed potatoes ready-to-use. I make spaghetti sauce a few times a year and freeze it in 2-serving sizes and vacuum-seal the frozen cubes, popped out of the plastic containers, in FoodSaver bags. Chili is also a good staple found in my freezer frozen in 1-serving amounts - it works as a soup, topping for a baked potato or hot dog, as well as the base for a Taco Salad (similar to what you get at Wendy's). I freeze single-servings of all kinds of soup and vacuum seal them in FoodSaver bags as well.

Monday: Big Meal (large cut of meat and all the fixings).
This will be used for leftovers, sandwiches, added to dinner salads or stir-fry, and possibly the base for soup. If it's a large enough cut, like a rump roast, I'll freeze portions and use it on another Monday.

Tuesday: Leftovers from Monday.
May or may NOT take on the same look as Monday's meal.

Wednesday: Stir-fry
Endless options and a good way to use up fresh and frozen veggies and small portions of meat.

Thursday: International
For us, that usually means something made with spaghetti sauce from the freezer, or taco meat from the freezer. The options are almost endless depending on what type of pasta you have. Or tortillas or taco shells available. Mexican foods are also a good way to add beans to the diet to help use less meat.

Friday: Vegetarian
Wonderful egg dishes, homemade bean burgers (I keep a stack of these in the freezer), even pancakes or crepes.

Saturday: Soup and/or Sandwiches

Sunday: Homemade pizza or in hot weather mini versions of pizza made on a tortilla or an English Muffin. We also will have a large dinner salad during hot weather and when there's all kinds of things coming out of the garden.

4. We go out to eat maybe twice a month to Mr. Goodcents. This is usually scheduled when I have a really BUSY day, or have been out of town. This meal comes out of hubby's "blow" money. We purchase a $5 sub and have them cut it into 3 pieces. We eat 1/3 each for supper and then hubby takes the remaining 1/3 to lunch with him the next day to break up the monotony of his brown bag lunches a bit without the expense of going out to eat. That's cheap eating out...

Hope there's something there that you can make good use of, and as so many others said - get some sunshine!!!

**frugalwarrior** · 07-09-2009, 09:49 AM

We all get their occasionally. Last week when I was hit w/ a huge car repair,2 wisdom teeth out for kids,new car needed, a filling for me,4 dental cleaning,dog shots,poison ivy,residual bills from an eye surgery and prob. no vacation I was depressed. My partner is not a partner but a child about things sometimes,that doesn't help. First I get depressed,then I get mad.

I start thinking "Oh No you don't. I start working on it like a giant puzzle. This piece fits here. Eliminate that one,hold that one until after that one. It makes me feel more in control than sabotaged.
Also, accomplish little tasks,mini goals w/ in the larger ones. I don't have time to clean the front room but I can put all the books away. Break things into parts.

Train yourself to anticipate small things. My DH used to save pop bottles. We worked together to collect them and get a small choc. baby cone each maybe every other week. We walked down to the store and talked. We used to play a game about what we would fix or change about each house. I garage sale and am thrilled to get a deal on things. I have an item in my budget under household replacement.

You have to allow yourself to be pleased in what you have and allow a small amt. of breathing room. You cannot look at others lives and envy because you don't know how they live w/, what they suffer.
And sometimes you just have to kick youself in your own behind and say enough. I can feel this way for x amt. of time and then thats enough. If you can't get past this no how,no way, please seek counceling you may have chemical depression and you can't think your way out of it.

Remember your not alone. Why don't you blog it here to drop it. Note your goals that week and what you accomplished. people are very supportive. And once in awhile be a little bad. Just a little. No one is a saint. Keep your goal in mind so once you open up those flood gates you don't go crazy.

Sometimes I go to the Salvation Army and put things in my cart and take them for a little ride. They have a little contest in there to see which one I like best and thats the one I take home. I clean the item, appeciate it and move on. I always put my other things back on the shelf. I keep a wants/needs list in my purse for my computer list. You have to find what works for you and register your feelings, don't deny them. I always tell myself nothing lasts forever: Good or Bad. This applies to all situations. When at the end of your rope. Pray.

**Sassyclass** · 07-09-2009, 10:17 AM

There was a thread posted about making a game of being frugal. With that in mind I try to do anything I can to keep anyone from swindling more of my money from me. If a store raises prices I only buy what they have on sale with a coupon and only if they double coupons and I can't get it cheaper somewhere else. They want my money but I want it more and I'm determined they will not get it without a fight. It kinda makes it fun for someone as stubborn as I am. Try it. Pick one area you are tired of shelling out money for nothing and change it. soon you will be doing it for something else. I know it's a pain trying to save money at times but sometimes just one small victory is all we need to feel better about what we are doing.

Cat

**jlaporte** · 07-09-2009, 10:36 AM

hang in there. see u r not alone in this. we all seem to have our ups and downs. sometimes we get stuck and need a hand up out of our rut.u came to the right place.i come here when im in a rut and read other posts so i realize im not alone and it will get better. so my suggestion is taking all the posts in step back and reexzamine and b patient. this will pass and u will find ur middle ground. hugs cuz im right besides u

**CristiK** · 07-09-2009, 10:49 AM

One thing that helps me is reading really charming websites that are about frugality but after reading them you feel like you are part of the charming people

There are just some people that have the gift of putting things in a possitive light. A couple I really like are...
http://down---to---earth.blogspot.com/
http://pennyannpoundwise.xanga.com/
http://heavenlyhomemakers.com/blog/?MMN_position=4:4
Also, I have found that NOT watching channels like HGTV or any show that typically portrays folks with high end "stuff" helps alot. I have found when I watch those shows I start looking around and feeling shabby (and not in the good way, lol.) I think that TV can make us believe that EVERYONE ELSE is living these glamorous easy lives and we are the only ones who are struggling. It just isn't true though.

**strezzed** · 07-09-2009, 10:55 AM

Just wanted to say you're not alone. I think it's time to do something just for yourself. Do something that you enjoy, whether alone or with friends. A lot of people have talked about going to walks. That's a great idea! What about making it a picnic. Sometimes it's a matter of doing something new, like others have suggested. Lots of