spinoff on depression

**Dancing Lotus** · 07-14-2009, 11:02 AM

I didn't want to take over anyone Else's post so here goes my depression story.

For about two weeks now I have been feeling a dark cloud over head.

After years of squeezing every last penny from the budget I finally got to the pay off. All our debt is paid off and we are in the clear. I have been a different person since then. But then the dark cloud moved in when my husband told me that we had no money for something and that we had to tighten down the belt again. We went school shopping and it really upset me when I we couldn't' afford to buy everything I wanted to get my daughter. She has what she needs but I was really looking to forward to get what she wanted. last year school shopping wasn't fun at all because money was so tight. I thought this time would be different. I had planned it all out to have a fun girls day and pretty much spoil her for a change. Bubble was burst.

Then some major dental expenses have come up. And we have to save every dime for the next three months to put the money back now.
Now I am right back to scrimping every penny. It's feels so frustrating. I know some of you won't get it. You'll think I am being silly but it's how I feel and frankly it's a big deal.

I am really becoming frustrated over fiances and can't seam to get a handle on the YO YO. It's really upsetting to me how I can go from being so relaxed and comfortable about your financial situation to feeling "poor " again.

**ladykemma2** · 07-14-2009, 12:33 PM

ummm, you are describing what i referred to as the baby step 3 blues. I found it doesn't friggin get easier in BS3. in fact it gets harder.

keep working in rewards/incentives into your budget, both for you and your daughter. every 90 days i get a small break from saving and get to get something nice. otherwise my inner kid goes berserk and acts out, say, buying something expensive and racking up a $3000 credit card bill like she did last year. yesterday I bought little ladykemma a nice diamonluxe cz ring at kohls for 10 bucks. shuts her right up.

Begin a sinking fund/freedom account for your daughter's school startup with a budget for something nice.

i didn't get to paint the inside of my house this summer because the cat got sick and i had to spend 1400 at the vet.

**pecunierrant** · 07-14-2009, 01:20 PM

I hear ya. We just finished baby step 2 and now DH's job is hiking our health insurance, property taxes are going up, water, car registration you name it, it's been hiked in cost. Gas is $3.15 a gallon here.

Good thing we paid off the debt to help cover all these hikes in fees/costs but it's a bummer to have to pay it. Not exactly what I had hoped to be doing with any extra money.

**FrugalMomof3** · 07-14-2009, 01:56 PM

I totally and completely hear you. We were debt free (except for mortgage) but things came up and the house needed this or that and here we are back up to having $2000 on the CC's and to some that might not seem like much BUT we worked sooooo hard to get our $15,000 CC debt paid off in about a year and I DONT want to end up there again. I know I wont so I will do my darn-est to pay that off and get that EF saved.

I do agree however, that maybe you need to set aside maybe $25 a month (when you can) for next year's school shopping. I haven't even begun to go school shopping and I am dreading it because I will be pinching every penny.

Just think though, it will get better, just stay strong and keep your head held high. THIS TOO SHALL PASS.

**Mummy2** · 07-14-2009, 01:58 PM

Im feeling the money blues with you. My DH job is sporatic and the pay is even farther behind the work that is completed.
I looked at our funds and told DH we are entering August at a large deficit, more than what I am comfortable with.
He is home for 2 weeks with no work in sight, I told him he was not having a 2 week vacation at home, this is on top of him being off for 4 weeks a few weeks ago. If I had known this was going to happen I would have had him be Daddy day care and saved the travel expenses for sending DS & DD to My parents for 2 weeks,

Lets all go UGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

I actually feel like lying on the floor and having a good kicking and screaming fit!

I send you a good old fashioned temper tantrum!!

**cab54** · 07-14-2009, 04:13 PM

I certainly hope there is not anyone on THIS particular board that won't 'get' you.

I think many of us can relate to the 'one step forward, three steps back' feeling.

to you, AnnK. I pray that things will get better for you and the fam.

**Gibs** · 07-14-2009, 06:24 PM

I am right there along with you.....pinching pennies and dreading the back to school shopping this year....

**Contrary Housewife** · 07-14-2009, 06:46 PM

I get you. Becoming debt free doesn't mean your money worries are over, only that you've broken even. You keep on saving, watching sales, budgeting, and spending wisely. But now you do it in control, not at the mercy of debts which want to suck you dry.

I paid off my last loan in December. Now I'm able to save that money and we can take care of things that got put off too long. Our car is failing. The house needs painted and repairs made to the siding. We had to buy a new AC unit in May, and I broke a tooth the same week and had dental expenses, too. Life happens. But I'm glad that we had a little money set aside to cover those expenses, and that I didn't have any other payments to make, and we're back to putting money in the emergency fund.

**ladytoysdream** · 07-14-2009, 08:59 PM

Know the feeling well here.

It seems like get something paid....hoping to see the light at end of tunnel, and something else pops up. It never fails.
Or get a few dollars ahead and think oh boy....maybe spend the few dollars on a small splurge....and it seems like there is another hole that needs plugging.
I have a few extra dollars this week, and was thinking about some meat for the freezer and came to conclusion I better spend it on a phone card for my cell phone/ tracfone. Not running out of minutes...just need it for the next 3 months to extend it again.

Budget is tight, but things are getting paid on time. I just have to keep going on schedule. It should all work out, or so I hope

**Dancing Lotus** · 07-14-2009, 10:19 PM

Originally Posted by Contrary Housewife

I get you. Becoming debt free doesn't mean your money worries are over, only that you've broken even. .

You sure got that right.
I think I was living in a dream world where I thought all our problems were over. Last night dh informed that he thinks we will have all the money replaced by late Ocotober early November if we stay on track. Hum,, you mean after we pay for the 1,000 root canal I need and the one he needs too? UGH, will it ever end? I am terrified to take the kids to there checkups for fear of what might happen.

**Dancing Lotus** · 07-14-2009, 10:22 PM

Originally Posted by AnnK

You sure got that right.
I think I was living in a dream world where I thought all our problems were over. Last night dh informed that he thinks we will have all the money replaced by late Ocotober early November if we stay on track. Hum,, you mean after we pay for the 1,000 root canal I need and the one he needs too? UGH, will it ever end? I am terrified to take the kids to there checkups for fear of what might happen.

oops almost forgot that tuition is due in 4 weeks. And what about those ridiculous over priced 200 dollar text books? "Did you forget to budget for that dear"?

**mauimagic** · 07-14-2009, 10:49 PM

You did so well to get things cleared up and then life reared it's reality again - glad you posted. Agree that's it;s important to have a fund to play with.

given our current economy - think it's going to continue to be challenging for a while, but then it gives us the opportunity to show that we can do it. Not fun necessarily, but then the finances are not our whole lives, just at times, they seem to be.

Think this is going to be an important thread to keep in touch and support each other - we all need and deserve it as our lives go up and down.

**frugalfranny** · 07-15-2009, 01:47 AM

Originally Posted by mauimagic

given our current economy - think it's going to continue to be challenging for a while, but then it gives us the opportunity to show that we can do it. Not fun necessarily, but then the finances are not our whole lives, just at times, they seem to be.

I think everybody everywhere is feeling this. And whether we have bills or not; life still pops up and kicks us in the butt once in awhile. The bad economy has been going on long enough now that it is starting to wear thin.

Sometimes just having a fit is what you need, then you can get back up and face life again.

Hang in there......we are all there with you!

**Susanscraps** · 07-15-2009, 05:02 PM

Check out half.com for textbooks! I have 2 kids in college, and we save many,many dollars by buying used textbooks. Then, of course, we resell them!

**Marie78** · 07-15-2009, 07:48 PM

You aren't alone! The money worries never go away, no matter how much you have saved or planned there is never enough money. I guess if you are well off and live way below your means you might find yourself able to splurge on things. I only know of one person in my life who fits this picture. My sister lives alone in an apt. and makes a 6 figure salary. She hardly ever splurges though, she's saving to buy property or invest in a big way...so I guess I don't know anyone who has money and splurges