Fundraisers and charity......

**frugalfranny** · 10-20-2009, 03:48 AM

Originally Posted by monkeywrangler71

Others that come to my door, call me on the phone, or accost me in public get three words: "No, thank you".

Me too........except if/when they call me on the phone they also get "put me on your do not call list"........which works with some.

From now until Xmas it is HORRIBLE.......went into Albertsons over the weekend........Scouts were there selling something. Next week a NEWS TEAM will be at a grocery store doing a 'turkey drive'........where you buy a $15 bag of groceries!!(supposedly to feed a family of 4 a turkey dinner at TG!) Not $5....not $10........but you have to give $15! WHAT????

**WV_mom_of2** · 10-20-2009, 07:15 AM

I have no problem with the teacher giving extra credit because I know it really helps some kids out. I volunteered in the school system for 10 years and I know that there are kids who really really try and yet struggle. If an extra credit project gives them that boost they need then I'm all for it. My dd does not do these projects for grades or points however. She has a 100% average in both of these classes without any extra credit points. She takes the points given but she participates because that is what we do. We never pass by someone asking for canned goods, etc. Since they were tiny we have always participated. Because as hard as times are for us, they are much harder for other people. My problem with this is the teacher expecting them to bring in SO much. 8 cans is too much if a family is struggling. Make it "if you bring in at least two cans you will get 50 points" and leave it at that. No more than 25 or 50 points and a very low number required.

This teacher offers many many opportunities for extra credit without spending money so everyone has the chance to earn the points even if they can't spend money.

**Lora88** · 10-20-2009, 07:37 AM

Not to hijack this thread but I have to say something about about kids standing outside stores asking for donations or selling things I have actually not gone in a store because of it. Now I have four kids myself so its not that Im anti children but I do not want to help your child go to thefinals in florida or build a new baseball field If you want your child to do these things then you pay for it I am tired of the whole its a village mentality

**Nishu** · 10-21-2009, 02:20 AM

I'm glad you guys brought this up. It's something that I've thought on but obviously not enough. I bought some cookie dough from the first kid that came and asked but I don't think I"ll be buying any more.

My children are missing out on a lot of things they've done in the past, things like art lessons, music lessons, fun trips... They're missing out because we decided to put our debt repayment and savings first. It really doesn't make sense for me to put those things aside for my kids and then basically pay for them for a bunch of strangers.

**Nishu** · 10-21-2009, 02:24 AM

And this is kind of O/T, but I ended up taking my daughter out of girls scouts for similar problems. They were constantly doing food drives and such that basically amounted to parents donating things. One project was a shopping trip for an "Angel" the troop had adopted. That's it. A shopping trip. No work involved, no money raised, they just expected you to send your kid in with money to experience the joy of shopping for the needy. I guess their hearts were in the right place though.

**pollypurebred39** · 10-21-2009, 03:08 AM

I agree 8 cans is a bit much. I would find it hard to do that every month for the food pantry. We just started giving to the food pantry regularly, it's not a lot. It really sounds like she truly can not grasp the concept that it might really be a hardship. I once had someone (a relative) say to me years ago, "I just donated canned goods for my son's school because they were having a food drive and my son's teacher made him feel ashamed not bringing anything in. Tomorrow I'm going to be standing in the food pantry line getting them back"

The family we adopted, we did this in much fatter times but can not drop them, it would just break our hearts. Of course this years Christmas is slimmer for sure, but we know that under their tree would be bare Christmas morning. The children's Grandmother said to me years ago (before we adopted them) Life's hard they mine as well learn that now, not everyone has a Merry Christmas. That was the year we secret angel adopted them.

Nishu, you know that's so true. My youngest had to give up archery lessons this year, providing activities or trips for other peoples chidren seems absurd in light of this.

**Luv2BeFrugal** · 10-22-2009, 04:45 AM

We just say, "no, thank you" if we're asked... I really hate going into/out of stores when there are kids "begging" there. I feel bad for them being put in that position. And yes...it does seem to be that time of year...the last 3 stores we went into had kids selling things at the entrance. Ugh...

**annymoll** · 10-27-2009, 10:47 AM

We do business donations, separate from personal.On a personal basis we donate, but only within our own circle of family and friends.I want to take care of my own first. That means ONLY activities for our children, g- kids,activities within our own church, etc. I do not donate outside of that circle.

**madhen** · 10-27-2009, 12:32 PM

I have a strict "NO" policy when it comes to fundraisers. If you don't contribute to ANY of them, no one can get their feelings hurt that you supported so-and-so's kid and not theirs.

I explain that if I believe in a charity or cause, that I will donate my own money or time to it. It has worked for me, and I haven't lost any friends because I wouldn't buy their daughter's girl scout cookies.

In re: the teacher, I would give her a phone call and explain to her the pressure she is putting on your child re: bringing in stuff all the time. I suspect the teacher is trying to do something socially beneficial (and perhaps trying to teach the kids to do the same), but doesn't realize the pressure that her constant demand for stuff is putting on the parents (and also the kids). Sometimes people go overboard and have to be manually stopped and made to look at their own actions to realize what a pain in the a$$ they are being!

**rmy9** · 10-28-2009, 10:00 AM

I like the idea of having a set charity budget and when its gone, its gone. I did buy some pecans from a co-worker for her son's band fundraiser, but I looove chocolate covered pecans and I feel strongly about arts programs in schools.

**NikoSan999** · 11-02-2009, 04:42 PM

Don't believe in it.

**Thevail** · 11-02-2009, 06:15 PM

I just say no.. period. I donate directly to the local food bank rather than thru drives for this and that. I also donate directly to the local pet food bank.

I think I have an issue with the trade stuff for grades idea, because it just isn't fair to everyone. I mean, what good do the "extra credit points" do for the kid who already has an A?

Or what about the kid who's really close, say D+ without points, vs. C- with them, but can't AFFORD to "donate"? Do they deserve a lower grade because they and their family have less money?

It's bad enough that money influences what level of education you can achieve in this country. (a few smart kids go to Harvard.. but a lot of RICH kids go there)

But it's supposed to be a level playing field in the public school system. A kid whose family is eating mac n' cheese five days a week is at enough of a disadvantage already, without dangling a better grade than they've actually earned via "extra points" that they can't "afford" in front of them.

**Ocean_Beach_Dweller** · 11-08-2009, 02:58 AM

I loved selling cookies as a girl scout, but i know the boxes cost people $3.50 and the troops get something ridiculously small like 40 cents a box. We probably made more money from our monthly dues than cookie sales. My cousins went to private school and always had to sell things, the school made it mandatory. Every year each child had to sell a large box of assorted candy bars. My poor aunt had 4 kids in school and ended up having to buy all 4 boxes herself, it would have made more sense for her to give the school that money directly.

Especially in this economy its stressful on kids to make them sell and it stresses out people who may want to help but can't afford to.