Fundraisers and charity......

**WV_mom_of2** · 10-19-2009, 11:54 AM

How do you deal with all the fundraisers and charities asking for donations this time of year? I have a friend whose son is selling popcorn for the Boy Scouts and her dd is selling nuts for the Girls Scouts. My ds was asked to sell Pizza Hut pizza cards to raise money for a new playground for the school. A playground that he will NEVER play on as he is in his last year at this school. And I should mention that this school is only 11 years old and has a playground! DD is now selling pizza kits for project graduation.

I said no to the nuts and popcorn and had a good way out as we live 3 hours from my friend and we would have a hard time getting the product unless she mails it to us. There is no way in heck that I am raising money for a school playground that isn't needed and that my kids will never use.

Project graduation is another story. It's a great thing and I want dd to be able to go. I know that if it happens it will be because of donated items/cash. But I am in charge of sending out the letters asking for donations to all the businesses and churches in my area. I plan to make a donation myself. How much is enough? They want each senior to try to sell 10 items. Do they not realize how hard this might be for some kids? I am looking at a winter layoff at the end of this month. My sister's dh lost his job when his plant was shut down. My brother is a single parent raising two kids. My parents have been thrust back into the parenting role when my oldest nephew had to move in with them. My inlaws live on a small retirement income and have alot of expenses related to health problems. My oldest SIL is paying for her son's house because they co-signed his loan and he now refuses to make the payments. My other SIL has a son in college and one in high school. I don't want to ask these people to buy pizza kits! My mom is going to send a donation instead of buying. She said that way all the money goes to the project not just a small percentage of it. I think I might ask family members to donate a small amount if they wish, even 5.00 helps the cause.

And there is dd's teacher. OMG this woman is a trip. DD has her for two classes a day. She is CONSTANTLY wanting the kids to donate to this charity and that charity and gives them "bonus" points for it. The first was a pet food drive. I went to the Dollar Tree and bought a bag of cat food and a bag of dog food for dd to donate. The teacher asked her if she was bringing in two more the next week???? This month it's a canned food drive. Great, I always donate to these. But here's the kicker.......in order to get the 200 bonus points the kids MUST donate 8 cans of food. EIGHT! So I put together 8 cans for dd and she takes it in. The teacher asks her if she is bringing in another 8 for the other class. DD tells her 8 cans gets her 200 points. To split them up and give her 100 in each class because she is NOT bringing in more food! Do people not realize how hard times are for people right now? When did giving lose the spirit of giving and become something mandatory?

How do you handle these things in your household?

**Greebo** · 10-19-2009, 11:57 AM

We have a budget category for "Charity". When we find a worthy cause, we contribute from the charity budget. When the charity budget is empty, 'Sorry, we can't help you this month'.

**ahmom** · 10-19-2009, 12:11 PM

When DD's were little I made it a point of not buying anything, donating anything, not letting them sell a thing. They brought home a sales slip, it went straight to the trash. I pay property taxes that go directly to the school. The PTO sent home papers telling all the "good" they do. Well I personally don't think teachers need $10 each month to eat out with, They don't need special gifts all of the time, Open house doesn't need to pass out an apple to everyone who attends. I volunteered there many hours and I didn't even get so much as a thank you.
I did let DD do the required things so she could go on the senior trip and go to prom. I couldn't believe how much they expected her to do. When there are families w/ kids in every other house in the neighborhood, it's hard to sell to anyone.
THEN there are kids who are in every activity possible. and people who sell stuff for extra $. They sell several things all during the year along with school things.
I thought that I was safe from kids selling much during the summer. Nope, they have a quota to sell during the summer now.

**monkeywrangler71** · 10-19-2009, 12:45 PM

What do you mean by bonus points? Are these added to their marks? If I had children in a class where the teacher was selling grades I think I would file a complaint.

As far as fundraisers for the PTO and other school functions - if it was a trip I just paid for it, if they were selling something I actually wanted I bought it, everything else got sent back.

Others that come to my door, call me on the phone, or accost me in public get three words: "No, thank you".

**WV_mom_of2** · 10-19-2009, 01:04 PM

Originally Posted by monkeywrangler71

What do you mean by bonus points? Are these added to their marks? If I had children in a class where the teacher was selling grades I think I would file a complaint.

As far as fundraisers for the PTO and other school functions - if it was a trip I just paid for it, if they were selling something I actually wanted I bought it, everything else got sent back.

Others that come to my door, call me on the phone, or accost me in public get three words: "No, thank you".

They are extra credit points. She gives many opportunities throughout the term to earn these points in many different ways.

**sommersa** · 10-19-2009, 01:08 PM

extra points for canned goods. Id complain

**2ndGenGranola** · 10-19-2009, 03:36 PM

Originally Posted by sommersa

extra points for canned goods. Id complain

I would complain too.

I do not like these community service projects that schools are forcing the kids to do. I will pick out my own organizations for my kids to donate time/goods to.

I agree too with the one who said they pay their taxes. I've worked in schools and know that money is wasted like crazy. Schools need to be better stewards of the funds they are giving.

I say no to every kids who rings my doorbell (especially since I have a "no solicitation" sign)

**IntlMom** · 10-19-2009, 03:52 PM

I trash all the sales slips my kids bring home......

My kids were in scouts last year and when it was time to sell popcorn, I said "no way".....same as always.
dh thought they should sell it, however, to support their troop.
fine by me, he took them all over creation to sell the stuff - but not me.

**JanieD** · 10-19-2009, 04:43 PM

I dislike school fundraisers. Kids are there to learn, not to raise money for this project or that one. The items are overpriced & usually not something I would normally buy anyway. I really try to avoid buying the "stuff" if I can. I prefer to give a donation to the charity of my choice. Besides, like others have mentioned, I pay taxes to support the schools (they get the largest % of properity tax in my area). Perhaps the schools need a lesson in budgeting the money they have.

**shoiji** · 10-19-2009, 04:54 PM

Growing up my parents did not encourage any of us kids to do any of the school fundraisers. The only thing I remember doing was trick or treat for unicef. Which was through the church. I basically ended up with pennies and some nickels and dimes. Which way back then was pretty good.

When I was working I basically avoided the fundraiser people. Unless I was really jonesing for a big chocolate bar. I think asking family to donate a small amount would be fine. If there are any neighbors that might take interest your son could ask them, even just for a donation.

As for the school teacher, I would suggest talking to her as politely as possible. Let her know your daughter is donating as much as you family can. Let the teacher know you do not appreciate her pressing your daughter to donate more. Explain the economy is tight and your family donates as much as you can. Also, I really don't think you are the only person thinking this. I personally would be very upset if someone was trying to pressure my child to bring more. I understand the concept of being giving but what the teacher is teaching goes beyond that. When I first read what you wrote all I could think of was call the principle!! Extra credit should not be based on how much you can give monetarily!!! Which is what it comes down to.

**TigerGirl1226** · 10-19-2009, 05:02 PM

I will do a fundraiser for my cousin who is in first grade, my niece, nephew and of course my DD. I won't do one for my husband's co-worker's cousin's kid...and believe me we've been asked! Most of the kids in our family go to private schools because it provides a better education (in our area). At least now we are able to get some useful stuff, from cousin I got some address labels instead of the usual cookie dough that is so popular around here.

**Contrary Housewife** · 10-19-2009, 05:08 PM

I think it is horrible what schools are making kids do these days. Here they not only go door to door, but they stand them out on the street corners at busy intersections to beg as well.

I usually don't buy what they are trying to sell because it is stuff I don't want. The last coupon book I looked at had nothing for any restaurant we go to. The one the year before that I did buy was never delivered to me!

**ahmom** · 10-19-2009, 06:48 PM

You know what else ticks me off about the school fundraisers? They stick all the kids in one room and tell them that they can win all of these prizes if they sell X amount of things. The top 5 sellers get a trip in a limo to Pizza Hut along with their parents during lunch. Trouble is the kids who's parents who owns businesses are the biggest sellers and the ones who get the trip to PH year after year. Their employees are the ones who are buying the stuff.
The kids are pumped up because they can win trips, boom boxes (when my kids were there), basket balls ect. Yeah right.

**ncarr** · 10-19-2009, 07:13 PM

I'm a teacher and I would never give out extra credit for things kids have to buy (to be honest I don't really believe in extra credit-- do the work I assign and you won't need it!). It's too much like buying your grade. I would talk to her and let her know how it's coming across. My school has service days each quarter where we got to food banks and work etc. Maybe she could organize an afternoon service project where the kids donate their time instead of monetary products.

in interest of fool disclosure I do have my Model UN class participate for Trick or Treat for UNICEF. it's not required and they are not given extra credit. I keep a box in my classroom and we put change we find on the ground in it to see how many vaccinations we can buy by the end of october for children. the kids can take a box home if they want but I dont pressure them. and I DO NOT recommend that they go door to door... it's sad but it's just not safe.

**pollypurebred39** · 10-19-2009, 08:11 PM

We've had a hard time with this as well, so I know just where your coming from. We tithe our 10% and serve in our church. Anything beyond that is literally taking food off our table and clothing off our backs.

We do however understand there is great need out there so as a family we've committed to giving food to the poor each month and we've secret angel adopted a family with three boys to whom we give Christmas to every year, birthday presents, and an Easter basket. It's all we can do, so rolls of wrapping paper, cookie dough, coupon books, car washes, popcorn ect, ect is not happening.

As far as the teacher giving extra credit for purchasing things well, that's just wrong. Flat out wrong.

As a side note; I'm thankful for teachers who extend extra credit to my son. He turns in his work on time, but because he is a struggling student, he absolutely must complete extra credit assignments to keep his grades up. The one class where he did not have that option last year he ended the school year with a D average in that subject. It did nothing but make him feel poorly about himself and his ability in SS. He started this year dreading SS, swearing that he just wasn't smart enough. Turns out this years SS teacher is great, and gives extra credit but does not except excuses, extra credit is for bringing grades up not for missing assignments. in addition, he gives up his free time to help struggling students in his class. My son is getting straight A's in this years class and they're earned. Extra credit is not always a bad thing.