Friends Criticizing My Frugality

**mndtrp** · 12-05-2010, 05:32 PM

Well, if you are unhappy with your life, your friends will likely continue to criticize your decisions. Even if you had a lot of money, but were still unhappy, I imagine your friends would criticize your choices.

**frugal is fun** · 12-06-2010, 01:25 PM

you have to make peace with your situation or you will never be happy.

**tinu** · 12-15-2010, 09:27 PM

Oh yes, I've made peace with my situation and I'm not showing to the outside world that I'm sad, or look at me how I've to live... nothing like that. I just dont' want "friends" to get into my matters and start criticizing me.

**kitkat0649** · 12-16-2010, 12:17 AM

I laugh at how loosely people use the word investment. A luxury car is not an investment, a watch or purse is not an investment. Things that depreciate in value are not investments. Ask your friends what the rate of return is on said "investment".

**missmanny** · 12-19-2010, 11:42 PM

I think that as long as you are enjoying life then the amount that you are saving is not an issue, if you are happy to live only spending 20% of your income and your life is happy then so be it.

As you get older I think that it gets easier to disregard what everyone else is doing or what their opinionis of what you are doing, We save about 55% of our income - it would be up there at 80% however we dont live with our parents anymore and that costs a fair amount of money.

I'm sure that some of our friends think we are 'tight; and wouldn't ever care to live like we do, but we are happy and to us that is all that matters.

**lyra** · 01-23-2011, 09:58 AM

This is why i am selective with friends nowadays. I used to have spend thrift friends and I didn't learn anything realistic from them. I have two close friends and they are both frugal

**mauimagic** · 01-23-2011, 01:46 PM

Agree with the statement that as you get older it is easier to ignore the opinion of others. There ae some benefits to maturing you know!!

**Ramona** · 01-23-2011, 04:46 PM

Your friends are full of baloney. Watches or other items don't give you pleasure, that's where they are very, very wrong. Love, health, financial security all give pleasure.

I think you're very disciplined and should continue on your plan to the best of your ability. If they pursue talking of spending, just tell them it makes you uncomfortable to be criticized and change the subject.

Best of luck to you.

**LuLuBleen** · 01-26-2011, 12:33 PM

I just dont' want "friends" to get into my matters and start criticizing me.

As others have said, these people are not your friends. Friends support, they don't condemn. Even when it's appropriate to offer constructive criticism, a true friend will do so gently.

But these friends have asked me a question that I'm asking here as well "...So, when will you live life? If all of your youth is wasted in saving money, when will you experience the joys of life, when you are old?"

If spending money is the only way these "friends" can enjoy life, then their lives are truly empty. All the shiny things they buy (on credit, probably) will never love them back.

All those things they own will end up owning them.

I strongly urge you to stop discussing your finances with these folks. Nothing good has, or ever will, come of it.

Here endeth the lecture.

**katwillny** · 05-10-2012, 10:29 PM

if you "friends" are calling you hypocrite they don't respect the first sentence of your post. When you are in financial trouble do they come and help you with your bills? Nuff said.

**Jessesbride** · 05-16-2012, 12:46 AM

First if these are friends that you want to keep, remind them that your $$ situation is none of their business & change the subject. If they persist, let them know that you have different goals for your life than what they have set for themselves. If you need to get forceful about it, Let them know that what you do or don't do with YOUR OWN MONEY, is NO ONE'S BUSINESS but your own! You could even let them know that peer pressure is for high school & if you need to find new friends who appreciate you for who you are now, not for what they want you to be, then so be it! AND don't talk about $$ with them from now on. If they invite you to go to go on a trip with them & if you want to go ... great... if not.. (even if it is for the $$ situation) do not tell them I don't have the $$ etc, let them know that while it sounds nice, you have other priorities right now, but thanks anyways for the invite.

You do not need to tell your friends EVERYTHING!!! Something I've had to learn the hard way! But your life will be so much better for learning it! & I would branch out & see what you can do for free, or nearly free... might even find a new friend or 2 that have the same (or close to it) mindset. Just a thought!

& I agree with the other posters... they don't pay your bills, they won't pay for that new to you car, they won't pay your way thru retirement, etc, etc!!!

Kim

**oheoh's momma** · 05-16-2012, 08:21 AM

This is an old thread from 2010 ? but it is a serious issue many people do not live frugally and then become unhappy with u over u having more or less depending on their point of view....Money is a not a base for friendship and if it is I don't want it...

**BlissMommy** · 05-19-2012, 01:13 AM

I feel the same way, oheoh's momma. That is why I don't share a whole lot with friends anymore. Our finances are our business.

**gmarie** · 05-19-2012, 08:54 AM

This is an old thread! But still a good topic!

I have a very good friend moving to where I now live, and while I'm excited to have a close friend in a place where it's been hard for me to meet people, I'm worried about the money/frugal thing. When we lived in the city together, my life was VERY different. We talk; and I'm honest with her about where I am at right now, but I'm not sure that she really gets it that I spend NO money on entertainment, shopping or clothes. Well ok, we do have a $10/ mo for DH and I but obviously that doesn't go very far. So we'll see. She is very materialistic and loves to go shopping, nails done, out to dinner, etc. She is fairly good her money compared to others I know (she at least has a budget and pays her bills on time!) but she still thinks it's okay to spend every extra penny she has. Thankfully we are in the country without a nightlife; and her life is changing drastically (she is opening a business) so hopefully I am worried for nothing! And in the end, this is my life; and I don't need to make excuses or change who I am just to have a good friend around.

**Droppedonmyhead** · Yesterday, 09:48 AM

Your friends sound VERY immature and childish. I'd bet my last dollar that they are extremely jealous of you too!! I bet it burned them up to find out that you're saving 80% of your income. You never know about people. They may have a bet going on with each other to see if they can make you buy the watch. I have to ask . . .who in their right mind would buy a $2,000 watch? People don't wear watches that much any more because they use their cell phones for the time.

You just keep on your frugal mission. Sounds like you're the only one in your group that has their priorities straight. That $2,000 watch isn't going to bring much satisfaction and enjoyment if you're out of money and have no shelter or food to eat.

Stick to your guns. . . .you'll be the winner!!!!