I don't understand (long post)

**nancycg56** · 02-14-2010, 10:41 AM

One thing I don't spend any time on is thinking about how other's choose to spend their money. We're all different and that's just the way things are. As long as they aren't asking me to pay their bills, I don't care what people do

As long as you know you are in a better place financially, that's all that matters

**acox68** · 02-14-2010, 12:09 PM

Thank you all for your input......WOW.......you all gave me food for thought and I think I understand better where they are coming from now. As long as each person is satisfied with the way they live their lives (including how they spend their $), I shouldn't complain, judge, or second guess.

That's why I love coming here.....we have such a community of wonderful people!

Thanks again, Frugal Village!!!

Andrea

**dutchtulip** · 02-15-2010, 08:43 AM

Your situation sort of reminds me of my sister and us last Easter.

Her and her husband make well over 100K a year,in fact it is pretty close to 120K a year. Hubby and I make close to 60K a year.

We have debt and so do they. Our debt is a house with 8 years to go,a couple cc's and doctor bills again, (hubby heart problems last month and now me with atypical lobular hyperplasia of the right breast) so there goes the medical bills again.

They have a house payment that they keep refinancing every couple years, a boat,seasonal membership at a lake,2 brand new cars with payments, and she drips in jewelry, and clothing, personal loans and every cc that you can think of, plus they take many trips.The kids which there are 3, are not taken care of in the manner my sister takes care of herself. That's another rant....

Well last Easter we were sitting there and they were telling us how they had gone out to eat with a couple, and they paid for it to a tune of over 300 bucks, for dinner and drinks. I just sat there so appalled, I could not believe it,my hubby says damn we don't even spend that much on a months worth of groceries and eating out. She just laughed and rolled her eyes. About a hour later her cell phones rings, ON EASTER SUNDAY, it is a bill collector........ they laugh, I say to my sister, that's pretty sad when you can go out and spend over 300 for a meal, but you can't make your bill payments, and the bank is calling you on EASTER SUNDAY!!! She says I know and laughs?? HELLO???????????? anybody in there?

Priorties of which she has none................ do I feel sorry for people like that, NO, do I feel sorry for people who have to keep up with everybody else, NO............... Am I happy with myself and my life, YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry I got of on a rant there, your post just reminded me of my sisters situation.

**miss_thrifty** · 02-15-2010, 09:00 AM

Originally Posted by Debbie-cat

Although you and your friends have different views on money, I am glad you are still able to enjoy each others company.

couldnt agree more.
huggss to ya dear

**MommyBliss** · 02-21-2010, 06:13 PM

I can totally understand why you feel the way you do. I have a friend who lived like that and with the economy the way it is her family has lost a lot because of it. I a trying to really curb my spending habits and embrace a different way of living.

**AmyBoz** · 02-21-2010, 07:39 PM

Nothing really to say except that it's good to hear that you are being true to yourself. It never works out, in the end, when we try to emulate others through wealth or possessions. Just be you and be happy for it.

**Englishlady** · 02-28-2010, 04:47 PM

I can why you felt uncomfortable, I would have felt uncomfortable too.

I often think that in a natural disaster, the those who survive and cope better are those who realise that the only thing that matters is having survived and having the love and support of those we care about.

I imagine the terror of such an ordeal would only be compounded if one's self worth was so heavily invested in material things.

It's great you can have fun and great laughs with people you evidently don't share core values with. Don't know that I could do that on a regular basis, but that is more a reflection of me ( I sense when I am not on the same page as others and it makes me uncomfortable).

**mauimagic** · 02-28-2010, 05:12 PM

It seems to me, in general, that people at FV are getting stronger and more and more comfortable with themselves - what a wonderful thing. If and when we are true to our hearts, then we can go anywhere and be with anyone and still enjoy it all. How empowering!!

**madhen** · 03-01-2010, 12:20 AM

I suspect that, as you were wondering if they had judged you harshly based on your values, they were wondering the same thing about how you judge them. If you can share time together and enjoy each other's company, then ce la vie. They will probably regret their choices down the road, but you trying to make them change who they are will just ruin the friendship.

I had a co-worker who retired after 20+ years. He is married, with 2 kids. He retired after earning a six-digit salary for at least half his career, and when he left, he had no house and no savings. He works as a clerk in a hardware store now. The way I look at it, we have a certain, quantifiable, reward for our hard work. How we choose to ration it out is another matter. Some people want it all for as long as it lasts. Others are willing to wait for it and use it in moderation. Who gets more enjoyment out of their method is anybody's guess.