Too frugal?

**peanut** · 03-04-2010, 09:54 PM

So we had the parents of our house guest phone us up and invite us out to supper the other night. The mother handled the call. I gathered from what she said that they were paying. Guess what...they weren't...at least not for all of it.

She asked for one bill from the waitress and suggested to her husband that he pay it. He commented all he had was a $50 (the bill was $43). We let it sit for awhile, but DH took sympathy on him and coughed up a $20 to pay for our share.

I was a bit miffed. These people saw fit to send their son $20 while he was staying with us, but couldn't provide a $20 meal as a thank-you for us?! I feel more taken advantage of by the parents than the kid.

They are nice people...and we could afford the meal more than they could. Still..I'll be watching my pennies around them. Those type of people can get you into financial deep water quick if you don't keep an eye on things. Just means when it comes to money I can't trust them to uphold their end of the bargain...

QM · 03-04-2010, 11:13 PM

Peanut, you've done so much for them that they should have treated you out. I guess the moral of the story is to never presume that people will have the same courtesy and integrity as yourself. ((HUGS)) to you because you are such a nice person.

**Palooka** · 03-04-2010, 11:33 PM

That must have been an akward moment. Ugh.

What QM said.

**Luv2BeFrugal** · 03-04-2010, 11:39 PM

Wow...that was way out of line of them to do that. Sorry that happened!

**Contrary Housewife** · 03-04-2010, 11:40 PM

Sounds to me like SHE meant to treat you to dinner and HE balked at the cost. I bet they did not discuss it before inviting you out, or on the drive over. Bad planning and communication on their part.

**frugalfranny** · 03-05-2010, 12:27 AM

Originally Posted by Contrary Housewife

Sounds to me like SHE meant to treat you to dinner and HE balked at the cost. I bet they did not discuss it before inviting you out, or on the drive over. Bad planning and communication on their part.

I would agree with you CH!

But, on your part peanut ---WHAT THEY DID STINKS!!!

But you handled it like a REAL champ.....and I agree with what you said.........be very careful around them and next time they need help remember to say NO!

**Libby** · 03-05-2010, 12:39 AM

So what was the point in asking you out to dinner? To catch up or to say thanks? I agree with both QM & CH. When situations like this arise, I always have cash on hand just in case the bill is 'split' last minute or in some of my cases - too many extra ppl join the dinner and it gets out of hand...this way I can pay for just my share.

You and DH handled it very well - kudos to you both

**stinkbug** · 03-05-2010, 08:24 AM

Soo.....you were out to dinner with my sister in law? This is her favorite trick to pull. Even with coffee!!!
Now I just avoid her.....

**peanut** · 03-05-2010, 10:32 AM

Yeah, Contrary Wife. DH and I concluded the same thing. She wanted to treat us...he didn't. I think she keeps him on a tight line with money. As I understand the family he is quite the spontaneous spender. I suspect she gave him the money to pay and he just figured he wanted as much of it for himself as he could get!

I'm trying to not get involved in their money issues. That's one reason I was actually relieved when DH coughed up to pay...if a bit annoyed at the other guy. I do have an inside loop on it all though, because my daughter is good friends with their son. It's a case of knowing too much about someone you don't really know very well, if you know what I mean?

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest everyone.

**sinopa27** · 03-06-2010, 03:01 AM

It would've been cheaper to have a nice lunch at home. They invited.....they should pay. I bet the "dead silence" before your husband got out $20 seemed like forever. HUGS to you!!

**Dutchie** · 03-06-2010, 06:32 AM

Not a nice situation at all.

What I don't get is that I have always learned that if you are '
invited out for dinner then you don't have to pay.

Where were their manners? Even if the man didn't want to pay then the wife should have said, honey I invited them, so please pay.

**peanut** · 03-06-2010, 09:51 AM

Good point Dutchie. I know I would have done that with DH. I'd have hauled him on the carpet in front of whoever we took out...and he knows it. Generally I talk to him ahead of time and psych him up for the 'big event'. LOL But he's a pretty easy sell because it's usually the kids we're taking out. Last fall in the Maritimes was a wipe out in the dining out category -- but we all had a blast! So it was worth it...

**RhaegarTarg** · 03-07-2010, 08:26 AM

Talk about awkward.. I can picture everyone staring at the check in silence.

That is pretty rude though. Invite you out as a thank you and then make you pay? Def a judgment lapse.

**MomToTwoBoys** · 03-07-2010, 12:52 PM

I think it was in poor taste for them to invite you out, then expect you to pay for dinner. Normal people invite others out for dinner, then handle the check.

I think your friends were completely rude in their actions as far as the cheque was concerned.

**mauimagic** · 03-08-2010, 12:52 AM

Strange situations are popping up all over the place aren't they. How sad that the couple was never taught manners and appropriate behavior and possibly didn't teach their children either. Mahalo for being the gracious people that you and your DH are. Certainly not worth the energy to get upset over because it is done. Well done Peanut!!