Wow, the gifts look mighty dinky!

**acox68** · 11-27-2010, 09:38 AM

Thank you ALL for your ideas and sentiments....I really DO appreciate them! The ideas are awesome! I especially love the one for shortbread cookies.....SO easy to do and inexpensive!

We USED to rack up our credit cards each year to the tune of $2,000 and then have the burden of being in debt at the beginning of the year. It was craziness. Over generosity has been one of our biggest downfalls financially.

This year, we have only spent $720 and paid cash for it by spending about $120 per check. By the time we buy the fleece scarves, it will be a total of $750.

DH built his niece a computer (he's a computer geek) for and that is their Christmas DONE. We bought her children 1 toy each just so they have something to unwrap.

My nieces and nephews are now adults (the younges is 20) and some of them are having their own babies, so I'm going to say they get into the drawing for the gift exchange and we just give to the little ones.

DH and I are not giving each other gifts this year....our gift to each other is to pay down our debts so we can move out of state in a few years....

Again, thank you all for your ideas and understanding.....

Andrea

**shoiji** · 11-27-2010, 05:47 PM

It really does sounds as if you have more than enough for everyone. How about giving you brother in law and wife a coupon for a nights worth of watching the kids attached to the bottle of wine? Would be a quick and easy gift to put together.

Just because a wallet is small does not mean you need to go out and spend additional money to make the present seem larger. Give yourself a pat on the back for buying a great gift at a great price.

Your family may appreciate the idea that each year you do not need to spend a bunch of money. Sometimes it can get really out of hand.

Calm yourself down and try to enjoy the holiday!

**acox68** · 11-27-2010, 07:12 PM

Thank you, Shoiji......I guess I am really obsessed and freaking out about money right now and it shows. I'm going to make myself relax a little and try to enjoy myself instead. No sense in giving gifts and going through the holidays without enjoying yourself!

Andrea

**sunshine** · 11-27-2010, 07:30 PM

Andrea, we've all had lean years, and not so lean years. I recall one Christmas where we only managed to scrounge up enough $$ for one gift for each kid -- then I bought a package of balloons at the Dollar Store and we blew them up, and put them under the tree, so it didn't look so empty.

**Nishu** · 11-27-2010, 08:14 PM

I do this every year. I buy the kids nice toys that I think they'll enjoy, and when I get them all together the visual is always a little disappointing even when I was satisfied with what I got them. Then I go out and by a few more. I almost always regret it.

When I was a kid I always imagined Santa leaving a huge amount of presents and that's probably where I got this impossibly high standard. It's funny because we didn't get that much stuff. I think maybe it was just because there were 4 of us. When 4 kids are getting presents, there's going to be a lot more presents even if the per person loot wasn't htat much.

**nessarowdy** · 11-28-2010, 11:07 AM

I, too, suffer from this "image" that there needs to be a lot of gifts under the tree. I go overboard on my kids every year, and half of it is stuff they play with for 20 minutes and then are done. I am trying hard to get items i know they will like. We don't buy for extended family, just the grandparents and nieces and nephews. I told everybody I wasn't buying for the adults anymore. For one thing it was too tricky trying to buy something for the men when even their wives didn't know what to get them.

I'm impressed you're done with shopping! Way to go!
-Vanessa

**peanut** · 11-30-2010, 10:58 PM

I hear you. As the sister to a self-made millionaire and several well-to-do siblings I found the only way to do it ultimately was to draw names and have a dollar limit on gifts. Ultimately, we all stopped exchanging gifts as the kids grew older. Their kids just didn't need anything from any of us. And I was embarrassed by what they felt was necessary to send our kids.

**madjen** · 11-30-2010, 11:29 PM

You have forgotten the real meaning of Christmas.

**Libby** · 12-01-2010, 12:18 AM

I would supplement with homemade treats - cookies, tea, coffee or hot chocolate mixes etc.

**dianne9106** · 12-07-2010, 08:58 AM

I have gotten to the point that I mainly just buy gifts for children (nephews, friends, foster children). I have my own children, but for some reason exchanging gifts with my SIL and BIL just feels goofy when goodness know what we are going to get each other and will it really be necessary? So, we agreed to just buy gifts for our children instead. Friends same thing. And then we always try to find a child to buy presents for (foster child, angel, etc...). Why not sponsor a family in someone's honor instead of buying stuff?

**Sara Noel** · 12-07-2010, 09:06 AM

Originally Posted by acox68

This year, we have only spent $720 and paid cash for it by spending about $120 per check. By the time we buy the fleece scarves, it will be a total of $750.

Think about this. Only $750? Say it a few times in your head.

Only?

**Dancing Lotus** · 12-07-2010, 09:11 AM

I have a friend who goes nuts every single year with the credit cards. She spends 2 to 3 thousand just on her two kids alone.
I can't tell you how many time she has told me that she does it because they don't buy them anything the rest of the year. Not true but whatever.
Anywho, I go shopping with her almost every year and I don't know why because it depresses me. She will have her cart stuffed and I will have three or four things in mine. It makes me feel bad for the moment but then I remember that I will have not debt to pay off . I hear her complain about her financial struggles all year long. Her kids may have every single toy ever made but they don't look any happier then mine.
My point is , it's not always easy to do whats right for you but at least it's a choice you can feel good about.

FYI. I happen to know that this woman owes three times what they paid for their house because she has refinanced it twice to pay off credit cards. IN other words she mortgaged her house to pay for Christmas.

**frugalfoster** · 12-07-2010, 02:37 PM

Here's the balance scale....Stressed before Christmas....or Stressed after Christmas because you now overspent.... I vote for be stressed before Christmas.... the after Christmas stress goes on and on and on..... I think you've done plenty....

And I finally after 37 years... told my sister we weren't going to exchange this year...her kids are 37 and 32 with families of their own and we were buying their kids things also...It's time....don't ya think??? Don't wait as long as I did....My stress level because of this is greatly reduced!!!! It's a happier year for sure!!!

**mimijolene** · 12-07-2010, 03:19 PM

I think your presents are right in line. We made changes a few years ago in our family with regards to gift giving because my family is huge and growing it was becoming quite expensive. My siblings (there's 9 of us!) and I stopped giving gifts to each other and decided to focus on the kids and our parents. There are 22 kids which we divide up so each child has their name drawn twice. So we typically have 4-5 kids to shop for and the rule is $40 per kid.
Drawing names has really help us all save money and/or embarrassment. However, we now have a baby of our own and our Christmas budget has inflated again!!

**Grayce** · 12-07-2010, 11:07 PM

Once my sisters and I, all started having children we stopped buying gifts for each other. Now we just buy for the kids until they are 16. We have a $30 limit.
It has been a relief to not have to worry about finding something to buy for adults who really don't need a thing anyways.