Why it may be too expensive to have more than one child

[Rebookie]

My child costs us VERY little. That is preposterous.

[miss_cas]

Planning your family is one of the biggest factors in financial success.

Of the friends who had a child as a teen, most are still struggling to keep the kid in school while they worked on their own education. Many lived with a grandparent for a long period of time.

Of my friends who reproduced in their 20s, they are still in a heap of financial trouble as they never got enough education after high school and ended up working low paying, going nowhere jobs.

The people in their 30s who are working in a stable job, maintain an emergency fund and do not live a fake life full of expensive stuff purchased on credit, do much better if they limit their number of children to one or two.

Yes, larger families have a bigger labor pool for yard work, house work and babysitting but it's more people to feed, clothe, educate and entertain which requires a bigger house. If anyone loses a job or becomes ill, the situation is really grim.

The numbers throw around on the cost of raising a child are greatly exaggerated by marketing. For the non-consumers (aka frugals) instead of the super-consumers, the cost of raising a child is much lower.

[KennySoward]

It definitely depends on how many activities the kids are involved. My nephews play sports all season, and nieces are involved in cheer leading.

All 4 kids do it all year around, and I can tell you that it is a small fortune.

I think there is a balance, certainly.

[SwirlyThing]

I just did a little bit of math to figure out what it costs to raise my kid, and $200k may not be unreasonable.

Medical insurance alone for her is about $40K over 18 years. If I had more than 1 kid, I could split the cost between them, but I don't. Add other medical costs (doctors, medication and ER visists) for an asthmatic child, and over 18 years we're close to $60K already.

I use a prepaid college fund for her, which brings me up well over70K. But I bought in years ago, if you were buying in today, it would cost significantly more.

I spent probably $1000 per year on gifts and parties (yes, fairly extravagant, but that includes her birthday party and christmas gifts and all the parties she has to bring gifts to). But spent less when she was younger. So that's going to bring us up to over 83K.

We spend about $200 for school clothes and school supplies each year. (That doesn't include the $130 for the calculator for the IB program, or the over $300 per year the public school now charges to be in chorus... yes, chorus!) We're at about $86k.

She's on swim team which costs me $85/month... has been for 5 years now, and has another 4 years that she'll still be on it. That's $9200 (and doesn't include the swimsuits that costs $60 each). We're at almost $95K.

If we estimate food at $100/month, which is probably high for a small child, but low for a teenager, we're over $116K.

I have one more bedroom than I would have if I didn't have her, that's an extra $75/month or so. That brings us to over $132K.

We're at over $130K, and there are still a lot of expenses we haven't even considered. Like the increased useage of utilites... more laundry and showers, etc; the gas driving the kid around; the more expensive vehicles because I needed space for a kid; the animals and all their food and vet bills that I would never bother with if it weren't for the kid; auto insurance in the future (she's not 16 yet); the extra costs for vacations (especially when we fly since all our family is across the country), all the baby supplies and furniture, and they myriad of other incidental costs along the route. I can see reaching $150K or $175 without problem.

That's for a kid born 14 years ago. Calculate with inflation for a kid born now, and $225 would probably be about right.

I can imaging it going much higher than that even, if I'd put her in daycare when she was young. I know families that spend $1000/month on daycare (they do it because they need the medical insurance the work offers, by the way, knowing that the paycheck isn't worth it at that point).

[New-mom-to-be]

I know I spend way more than 700 a year on clothing and shoes for him. His pre-school is 6K a year, plus the donations and supplies. Music class is 300 a semester. Art is 150 a month. Gymnastics is 200 a month.

If he did less, we would spend less. But I love having him explore every possibility. Soccer and t-ball next year will run about 1500 each for the season, including shoes, clothes, and equipment.

We just switched his rooms to the bigger one. Furniture for it was more than ours. But it will last for ten plus years.


It's just nuts. Good thing he prefers eating beans to meat. I save money there.

[dancemommy]

I've been a SAHM for 16 years...if you put a price on what I COULD have been making had i not had kids I'm sure that I far exceed that amount- worth every cent though for me to be a SAHM and to be a mom at all! I don't think it is one of those things either where each child costs the same amount. Once you have one you are usually set up to have two or even three. Once you cross that threshold into four that means larger vehicles, etc.

[peanut]

SwirlyThing: that explains the American situation to me. We don't have to pay for medical costs here. So axe your $60K.

Plus I stayed home and homeschooled the girls. So no daycare/sitter before the youngest turned 4 and after she turned six. the year she was five the boss' wife babysat her and they just didn't pay me as much.

With homeschooling we did end up paying a bit more for schooling if you include the educational trips we went on. Though they would have happened anyways because they were to family weddings or other functions related to family. We just found educational things to do along the way that often cost little to no money...except the whalewatching in B.C. I had to keep track of those costs and they maxed out at $3000/year for the two of them. That includes gymnastics, swimming, dance, voice, piano, theatre at various times.

The girls actually came to me one day and asked me to not book them into so much stuff...they were tired all the time. So we settled on one activity with a group under someone else's instruction, and one solo activity with someone else other than me instructing.

We didn't have to buy a new wardrobe at the beginning of the year for them. My children lived in brand name hand-me-downs picked up at garage sales. We had some nice shopaholic neighbors who sold their children's clothing every few months to make room for the new stuff.

We only saved for the first year of college tuition for them, and that against DH's wishes. He feels everyone should work their way through university. Then they'd appreciate it more. My girls went to public university, which is what most are here in Canada.

Food was $50-75/mth. I cloth diapered and breast fed and made my own baby food.

We make gifts in this house, rather than buy. Your $1000 is what we spend on our entire Christmas. And we have a plentiful one. Usually with a fair bit of entertaining. The children would receive at least 4 gifts each from Mom, Dad, sibling, and Santa. Plus sometimes Mrs. Santa. And then there's the relatives...

[brennasmom]

My son plays soccer at the local soccer club and I think it runs about $100 for the season.

Both kids do basketball... DS will play thru the Y ($50?) and DD wants to play on the school team (not sure on the price for that).

We do the sports that the kids enjoy. I like it as a way to get in some exercise too

We also do swim lessons when schedule allows which is about $50 for 8 lessons.

[frugal is fun]

it is all in personal choices. I'm going through this with my sitter right now. She has a 5yr old boy, I have a 6 yr old boy; they are both in first grade.

Her house looks like a toy store and she buys her kids every toy they see and want. My son gets toys on holidays and birthdays or he buys them himself.

Her son is currently signed up for 3 activities. flag football, swimming and CCD classes. My son is signed up for CCD classes.

She buys all his clothes at the mall, 90% of my son's clothes are from Savers, Goodwill or hand me downs from neighbors.

She spends $100 at the local fair over a few hours, I spend $40 to take my son camping for a weekend.

So yes, children do cost money but as parents we are to decide how much we spend and what we feel is necessary.

In some instances I start to get the "mommy guilt" when my son comes home and says "Nathan has a new "fill in the blank", can I get it too", and my answer is almost always no. But then I think about how differently our children behave, treat us as parents and treat their belongings and the mommy guilt quickly goes away.

[peanut]

The children would receive at least 4 gifts each from Mom, Dad, sibling, and Santa. Plus sometimes Mrs. Santa. And then there's the relatives...

That should read "four gifts: one from Mom, one from Dad, one from sister, and one from Santa."