Why it may be too expensive to have more than one child

[New-mom-to-be]

for many

The cost of raising a child from birth to age 18 for a middle-income, two-parent family averaged $226,920 last year (not including college), according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture. That's up nearly 40% -- or more than $60,000 -- from 10 years ago. Just one year of spending on a child can cost up to $13,830 in 2010, compared to $9,860 a decade ago.

The cost of raising a child climbed 40% over the past decade - Sep. 21, 2011

[thefrug]

Yea well, I think alot of people bring on that sort of debt themselves by falling for all the b.s other people tell them that they just HAVE to do or have.
My kids only got new clothes if they were a present. period. They grew up in second hand clothes from the thrift stores and yardsales. They ate store brand cereals and foods from the begining. They didn't have a toy store in their rooms and even those came from yardsales and flea markets.
I used cloth diapers at home and WASHED THEM, and only used disposable when away and then they were the cheaper store brand. They were breast fed and only had sterile water instead of formula.
You can have as many kids as you want and not be in such debt that you would consider not having kids.

[bonnotsm9]

We have seven kids and they are worth every penny. They don't cost as much as articles like this suggest, though.

[lottaLove]

I think that people's expectations and habits have increased costs more than costs have actually increased. There is so much equipment and gadgets for babies alone that are nothing more than a marketing scam. They even sell disposable bibs for people who don't want to wash their cloth ones. Everyone thinks they 'need' everything or their children are at some disadvantage. You don't need name brand diapers, you don't need formula (except in rare cases), you don't need jarred baby food. Huge savings in the first year alone.
Where are these parents driving their children that they would be spending $30,000 more than a childless couple over the course of 18 years? I tried to think of some place we took DS and DD by car that we would not have gone otherwise, and I couldn't. A trip to the zoo surely would have been replaced by some other adult recreation expense. Even camping trips I'm sure would still be taken if we had no children. So unless this 30,000 transportation cost is the cost of buying a bigger vehicle I don't see it.

[New-mom-to-be]

I am sure you guys are correct. I look at me and my friends and some of the stuff we got when the kid was first born was unreal.

I am guilty of tons of that overbuying. I don't think my son at 3 wears the same shirt more than twice a month. And most of it was bought at Gymboree (on sale as much as possible) or vacations.

I couldn't breast feed, so we had to use formula and generic wouldn't work for him.

We have taken him, I think, on 6 out of state trips....trying to create the memories of road tripping with mom and dad all the time.

I did buy a new car, because mine was not safe for a 2 hour commute with him in it.

I will say he doesn't have a lot of toys because I don't want the clutter of too many. He has a lego table and train table, with all that stuff, and a few other cars and trucks. But mostly, he has books. tons and tons of books.


I don't regret the stuff we bought, other than the first potty training seat. But I can certainly see how it seems to cost a lot if you get all the unnecessary stuff we did.

[peanut]

I take articles like this with a large grain of salt. I think DH and I figured it out for our 2 girls birth to age 18 and came to about $120,000CAD for both of them...that's $60,000 each. It's all about choices. You can make expensive ones or inexpensive ones. And they don't necessarily have anything to do with quality. As frugalites we aimed for the biggest WOW for the least amount of bucks in general. Obviously we didn't overlook things like safety. There are a lot of things and experiences that can be had other ways than paying top dollar for them.

[MissSeetonFan]

I don't take these with a grain of salt. I think it requires a whole barrel.

These studies are also very good at giving you the average for everybody when places like NYC and SF will bump the average costs up well over places like central Nebraska.

I think it also always assumes buying new, buying all that is on the recommended list, and buying new clothes every school year not just when they grow out of it. And that every child will be involved from an early age in extracurricular activities.

I think it assumes that people will also automatically seek out a larger home and a larger car for every child they add to their family.

I am making these statements based on a follow-up essay written a few years ago about how to control these costs or reduce them. Based on what they said to reduce/control costs, I am assuming the study counted things the opposite way.

Because the essay afterwards said things like: use hand-me-downs, thrift stores, wait until they grow out of things. Evaluate your space and see if you can't fit one more in. Evaluate your car to see if you can't squeeze one more car seat in. Reduce the number of activities or get used equipment or price shop for cheaper coaches, leagues and teachers. Don't buy so many snacks. Cook from scratch. And it goes on and on ....

[dancemommy]

I have 4 kids and would have more if I could. They are worth every penny :-)

However, kids ARE expensive. But if we didn't have kids we'd probably spend more money on other things. We CHOOSE to spend it on our children. I am sure I will spend more than is suggested on this article on my kids. They are very involved in activities and sports. That is our most expensive monthly cost aside from health insurance and mortgage. I figure between our girls alone (2) who are dancers we spend over $10,000 a year. Our sons are soccer players and we probably spend about half that. So, yeah, about 12-15000 on kids activities. Ouch. But we can afford it and we choose to do it. We cut back elsewhere instead. My son tells me all the time that he's never having kids because they are too expensive and he'd rather drive a nice car and have "things" when he wants them. I can see his point of view and totally respect that. We LOVE being parents. I wouldn't have it any other way.

[brennasmom]

Kids are expensive but kids certainly don't "need" all the things they have:

* cell phones (my dd is 12 and doesn't have a cell phone *gasp*)
* multiple sports - my kids do one sport per season if the want to
* entertainment ~ movies (we use redbox)
* clothing ~ we utilize thrift and fill in with sale items where necessary

[Trishagirl]

I have 3 sons and they were expensive but worth it! They were all in sports from young age baseball, soccer, basketball, tennis. We had our rough times but got thru it. Cherish your children the time goes by fast! Dh says he misses the times when they were little!

[greekislandgirl]

The expense is one of the major reasons - but not the only reason - that my husband (33) and I (30) have decided to remain childfree. It's not the amount it would cost over 20 years, so much as the amount it would cost in the first 3 or 4 years, especially if there were special circumstances. Even one is just not in the cards.

[oheoh's momma]

We are blended and have 4 children who are adults now. Yes I bought new clothes and yes they were brand name, Nike shoes, all had Ipods, cell phones.What I learned from this is some children are responsible and some are not. My girls still have almost every expensive thing I have ever bought them, boys have jack. Would I had some things different in regarades to money. Probably wish I had made my step children have a job like my own daughter. My daughter helped pay bills while hubby was out of work step son played with his money.
Children cost what you put in to them the most important is love

[Nishu]

I love kids and I would find them to be worth every penny, but those numbers have to be inflated.

I really wish we could have more but going through the adoption process really isnt in the cards right now.

[Neeley]

Do my kids cost of a small fortune? You bet.
Is it worth it to us? Every single penny.
Would we do it all over again? Without a doubt.

Both kids have been involved in activities non-stop since they were three. DH and I believe an active child is less likely to get into mischief and the friendships formed from their activities are priceless. When they were little it was a few hundred dollars a year. As they have gotten older the activity fees, travel, equipment, etc...is much more. DS now plays on his high school football team, wrestling team, baseball team, track and field team and weight lifting. There are costs involved for travel, admittance to games/competitions, "spirit packs", pre-game dinners, etc.

We also spend a pretty penny for DS's private school tuition. DD is now away at college on full scholarship. No tuition expenses for her. Education is first and foremost. The money spent on their education is the best money we spend.

I do buy them the clothes they want and like, by choice. It is hard enough to be a teen without any added issues. I am not going to make it any more difficult on them by dressing them in clothes they are uncomfortable in.

*Cell phones? They have them and have had them since elementary school. Their grandmother gifts the four of us our cell phones every year and she pays all monthly fees involved.
*Cars? They have them, courtesy of their grandparents. They are the only grandchildren on both sides of the family and are blessed to have very generous grandparents.
*Vacations? Very important to us. We take one big trip every Christmas. It is the way we have chosen to do Christmas since 2001. Just the four of us with lots of special traditions. When they were little it cost between $2500-$3500. Now they are older it costs between $4K-$6K. It is a time when we reconnect and focus on only us.

While we do give our kids a lot, we also expect them to give back. Both do a couple of hundred hours of volunteer work a year. Most of it is at the history museum, but they also do a couple of hours here and there. Maybe for a benefit walk for cancer, Big Brothers/Big Sisters or MD, at the zoo for a special event, reading to kindergartners, manning a booth at a heath fair or wherever.

We are fortunate that we have no debt other than our mortgage and can afford to do things with our kids and for our kids. We easily spend $25K a year on our kids.

We could do it a lot cheaper if we needed to or wanted to. But, this is how we choose to spend.

[Momto5RN]

i have 5 ages 23 down to 10 and the most $$ thing was always choices type of things - private education - sports etc