Anyone In Your Family Embarrassed About Your Frugality?

[staceyy]

My dh used to be embarrassed by my frugality. He viewed it as being poor, not as a means to perhaps becoming rich ( Lol!), or at least as a means of becoming comfortable one day. He even. hated the thought of me vegetable gardening. He did not grow up as financially secure as my family was. My parents were homeowners in a nice middle class area. They had to be very frugal in order to afford this. His parents were renters of a very tiny row house, but the kids were bombarded with lots of toys and new clothing. Dh was impressed with my parents financial abilities, but he couldn't quite grasp how frugality paved the way for them to afford what they had. He couldn't understand why we couldn't live large, use lots of credit, buy a house and save lots of money at the same time. I think he finally got it when the stock market crashed and the housing bust happened. Thankfully we were saved due to frugality. I'm wondering if any of your family members dislike or despise your frugality?

[Mojjo]

DH loves it but at the same time doesn't always "get" it. He figures it's going to be "over" at some point and he'll be allowed to spend like he wants.

My dad likes it so far as he likes that I'm not wasting money, but he doesn't understand that it means I don't spend on even what he would approve of.

My SM gets it.

My sister...not so much and if I lived closer it might be an embarassment, but we're far enough away she doesn't care.

[Starlight9803]

my DH isn't embarrassed about my frugality, but he doesn't really "get it" either. He's good about being frugal with the big things, but not all the little things. Thinks they don't add up to anything (how wrong he is lol), but my mom is the most embarrassed by my frugality. I wasn't raised by her (met her when I was 18) but she is the type that only buys name brands (full price from the department store at the mall), buys a brand new car every couple years, has tons of credit card debt. She has almost lost her house twice and has had cars repo'd, but she is till embarrassed to go just about anywhere with me (because of my non-name brand clothes, I drive an older car, use coupons on the rare occasion that I eat out, etc. Oh well, I figure it's her loss lol

[Spirit Deer]

My kids were always embarrassed. I never did figure out why. They wanted us to take them shopping for $100 jeans and brand new name-brand items. With five kids and a mortgage, that was out of the question, so they got the same clothes from Goodwill and Salvation Army, and I do mean the exact same styles and brands, sometimes with the tags still on them. The only way anyone would know they were secondhand clothes was if the kids told them. Now our kids are all grown and have rejected all the things we tried to teach them about handling money. Guess what kind of a mess their financial situations are. They've pretty much stopped talking to us because we won't bail them out of the financial messes they make. They know better, they just don't want to make the right choices. Sad for them. Sad for all of us, really, including the grandkids we never see.

I've had people at garage sales say they're surprised to see us buying used items because we live at the lake. Well, helllloooooo, how do they think we can afford to live at the lake?

[Incognito]

This is a really important topic, imo.
It gets down to the real feelings and motives:
about a person's frugality
and in the reaction of others
Very revealing about one's inner self, and whether or not a person is motivated by vanity & self-delusion or by honesty & wisdom.

And we can only hope that if those we know see in us a better way, that they will someday choose it.

[shoiji]

My mother always seemed embarrased when I stated I purchased something at the thriftstore. Which I thought was ironic since 90% of the clothing I got growing up was handme downs.

[madhen]

My mother is the exact opposite. She has a very limited income, and I have been with her more than once when I've managed to manipulate the system (legally!) to get her a bigger discount than she expected. She brags to everyone about it.

[Winkie]

It has taken my DH awhile to "get it" (14 years)! When we were dating, I was with him & asked him to pull over for a garage sale, I thought he was going to keel over right there! He was so out of his element. I was raising three kids on my own & paying a mortgage. I was used to pinching pennies. I needed a mower & wanted to look at a garage sale. Well... all these years later he does not wish to go along garage sailing, but he is fine with me doing what I want. He has accompanied me on two occasions to buy used lawn equipment from a newspaper ad. He lived through it.
He gets a great kick out of my shopping trips both for food & clothing. I have to tell him the story of each item & how much I saved. Again, he does not enjoy going along with me, which is just as well, he would slow me down.
All my clothes come from thrift shops these days. My job requires professional office attire & I doubt anyone I work with has a clue where I shop. Occasionally someone will remark on a new outfit I have & if asked directly where I got something, I have been known to say I got it from my sister. (I told my sister I am going to start a thrift shop someday & call it My Sister's Closet.)
I do not buy DH anything from thrift stores unless it has tags still on it. Then I don't actually discuss it. He doesn't require many clothes & doesn't gain weight so I can keep him outfitted by hitting a season end 75% off sale every year or two.

He always willingly tills my garden in the Spring, but that is his one & only appearance in the garden for the year. In his defense, he doesn't eat vegetables, so he's not much interested. He helped me with my chickens as far as feeding them , but was not disappointed when they did not work out.I would like to try that again someday, but he is not encouraging me.
All in all, he is the only one whose opinion matters to me & he is accepting & often proud of me.

[MamaTreadler]

Nope, much the opposite in fact. My husband is completely on board with me on anything that could save us money ~ no matter how hairbrained my frugal idea might be. As a matter of fact in the circles I run in, all my friends are as frugal as me. Around here, people get looked at funny if they waste money on silly things.

Now, if my mom were still alive...she probably wouldn't fully appreciate my frugal ways and may even be embarrassed by them. But as it stands...I've surrounded myself with like-minded people and it has paid off in very positive ways!

[Libby]

I'm sure DH has had his embarrassed moments (me clearing off the clearance racks yelling at him to grab cart etc ) but when he sees how much I've saved and/or the bargains I've scored he's totally OK with it. He's naturally thrifty but also isn't afraid to pay for quality. And hes quite content to let me go about my way doing my 'thing' to save us money.

[Michelle68]

My husband (thankfully) is all on board with my frugality. Even proud of it sometimes. Our son, typical teenager, is a bit frustrated by it at times, but I think he understands the eventual benefits and I'm hoping that he's learning about the value of money and saving it.

My mom, on the other hand, tends to vascillate between disdain and disbelief. She will call me "cheap" and sometimes make fun of my frugality, yet I think she may also be somewhat envious at times. She and her husband are not in a good place financially due to bad financial decisions, overspending, etc. and I believe she is truly frightened about what the future holds for them. Sometimes she makes jokes about coming to live with us when they can no longer afford their house.
Hearing her little jibes is irritating at times, but my mom and I are very different people and my frugality is just part of who I am. I basically try to let it roll off my back. It can definitely be frustrating, though.

[steelergal]

No one on my side of the family seems to mind it, we were raised on going to 'Flea markets' and finding bargains, being "cheap", and when money was tight we would do our back to school shopping at the local thrift stores.

The in-law side kind of looks down on me for it, but one in particular is starting to talk to me about how I save money. I am hoping to get her in the Christmas grab bag and gifting her some of the books that helped me become more frugal! My one sister inlaw is totally disgusted on the way we live yet they have several money issues (several car repo's, lived with inlaws for 5 years after mobile home was repo'd, now are living in a new mobile home that IL's had to co-sign for). THere's nothing I can do about it but pray for them!

[nuisance26]

~Well, no one has told me they are embarrassed by my frugal ways. I usually get asked for advice.
But I come from rather lean beginnings so to all the people I know, I'm doing very well.~

[frugal is fun]

my family isn't really embarassed but my brother is totally jealous of what I have and just so doesn't get it.

he has barely worked more than a couple of months consistently his entire life. I have worked full time every single day since I graduated high school. He buy's $12lb coffee, I buy the big tin of coffee from Aldi's, he buys organic fruits and vegetables for himself AND his TWO dogs, I buy my produce at Aldi's or a local farm stand; He buys $3-$4 coffee from Starbucks everyday, I make my Aldi's coffee at home.

I have a friend who got mad at me this weekend because I chose not to go to a local fair where it would have been $15 for me to get in and $22 for a ride bracelet for my son. So before even putting one bite of food in our mouths it would have cost me $37. She tried to justify it and said "thats why they don't charge admission for kids". Well thats great but I'm still not going. Big picture, I had the money to go to they fair, I chose not to.

Instead I choose to spend my money on gas to go to the free state parks and eat a nice lunch that I packed myself. I choose to go camping at $12 a night instead of spending $120 a night at some basic hotel. I choose to buy my clothes at Savers/Goodwill so I can spend the extra money on what I want, not what I have to.

[krbshappy71]

I am pretty sure my SIL and brother are embarrassed by it. I bow out of a lot of events because of my frugality. So then they feel like they have to pay for me and they don't, I'm perfectly fine not going. If I bow out they ask why so I tell them, that doesn't mean I am asking for them to pay! Grr to that.

I think MOST of the time my BF is fine with it EXCEPT when I am trying to talk him out of a needless item for his kids. I'm sorry but to stay on a budget you have to STAY on a budget. If its not food, shelter, clothing and its not their birthdays or Christmas then I feel there should be a limit on the spending. Yes, they want such & such book, I'm sure they do. I do too, there's lots of books I want, its called THE LIBRARY. Does that mean don't ever buy them a book? No, but you don't have to buy every book they oogle or mention, either.
Hi, I'm ranting. I also embarrass myself sometimes. That's when I know its time to reel it in. One time I got dangerously low on TP because I couldn't find it for less than 20 cents a roll and I was determined not to pay more than 20 cents a roll. Guess what happened, I ended up RUNNING OUT and paying MUCH more, how stupid is that? All because I was being stubborn that day at the store, then time slipped away from me the rest of the week.

Bah to it all, ha!