Circles of Financial Influence/Security

**peanut** · 10-18-2011, 04:20 PM

Does anyone else think like this? Or am I weird?

I tend to think of myself as the centre of a circle of financial security, then DH and myself in the next concentric circle, then DH, myself and my girls/children in the next concentric circle, then the rest of the extended family after that.

I sat back earlier this month and saw the big picture circle wasn't that healthy financially. The girls are swamped with student loan debt (one with LOC debt and CC debt). DH and I are swamped with an old house that is going to cost $90,000 in renovations, and DH's work pension is in trouble. Sooo...

I decided that any extra money we had was going to dealing with circles 1 and 2, and with student loans in circle 3. To that end I talked with the girls and told them my plan was to put money on their student loans for birthdays and Christmas this year. They were both more than okay with that.

DH and I contributed from our joint and personal accounts to make a bit that at least we hope will be noticeable! But as one DD said "every little bit helps Mom!" I want to see all the circles of my financial security healthy.

Meanwhile, DH and I are contributing steadily but surely to our own circle, and I am saving from my allowance and dividends for my circle.

I find thinking like this helps me maintain focus on what is important, and keeps me from giving too much to charity and people outside the family.

Does anyone else think like this? What is your overall financial philosophy when it comes to financial security?

**frugal is fun** · 10-18-2011, 04:40 PM

interesting. although I never thought of the "circles", I definitely have me at the center, then me & my son and then my ex. Although I don't give him money, I do care about his financial health and try to advise the best I can without "butting in". Afterall, if his financial health isn't well then that affects our son.

**dancemommy** · 10-18-2011, 05:06 PM

I can see circles like that in my family. My kids aren't old enough to have their own yet (Although we are getting close), but can see it with my own parents and my grandparents. My grandparents helped my parents quite a bit when I was young. They were in grad school and didn't always have the money for the extras. I think they bought them a few beater cars and funded some of our clothing, lessons, etc. My parents are now very well off. They have done the same with us. They have been very generous- it has never been expected and we would never ask for anything, but they have given us money from time to time during crisis situations or when my husband was in grad school. They bought us a car or two along the way, etc. My husband's parents did the same thing for us. My parents also "take care" of their parents. I'm hoping we can do the same for our own kids when they are young and on their own. We are getting closer to being able to do so each year. I think it has helped each generation to grow some strong wings (along with some very hard work) to fly and then be able to soar and give to others (and hoping that the government doesn't decide to over tax so that we can all continue to give as WE desire.).

**nuisance26** · 10-18-2011, 07:53 PM

~I don't think I've thought of financial priorities as a circle. I think more of building something, like a wall, that represents my life.
God is in the foundation since we hope to carefully use what He gives us. Then my hubby and I. If we aren't a strong foundation, we can't help anyone else. The next layer would be my kids and our parents. Then our siblings. Then extended family. Then friends and co-workers. Then everyone else.
The stronger we are at the bottom, the higher we can build and the more people we'll be able to lift up.
It is such a good idea to have some kind of system in place so you aren't sacrificing so much of your resources on those far away from you that you neglect the ones close to you.
When I was younger I wondered if it was selfish keeping finances close to home. After a lot of thinking I came to believe that money invested in family and friends, used at the right time for the right reasons, will build relationships and financial knowledge. Being close to the source of the giver also creates a better sense of gratitude than a faceless donation can give. Faceless donations can encourage an attitude of entitlement.~

**peanut** · 10-19-2011, 11:43 AM

Nuisance: I like that view better! But when I put God in the bottom of my financial philosophy I get all muddled. I tend to over give to charities, church, people in need, etc., much to DH's annoyance. But in terms of relationship, yeah, I put God in the center, then DH, then the kids, then extended family and friends, then others.

**annymoll** · 10-19-2011, 08:34 PM

Our situation is more like an ark.It is equippted with life preservers for DH and myself, as well as our children and spouses,grandchildren, our godson and his mother. If we ever have to set sail,or when we set sail, that is all we have planned for. As long as times are good and we are on stable ground, we can chose others to help in the here and now.We have a map in life that we have chosen to follow.