Since we have no scientific measuring tool as to the boundaries of frugality, it remains a matter of perspective. I think we are frugal. But there are those who would disagree. And there are those who think we are extreme, while I do not see it as so.
At first we were frugal by circumstance. We were beginning teachers on the lowest rung of the salary ladder. Back then, it was unheard of for an employer to furnish insurance, and because we could not afford it, we had no health insurance. We also had no telephone for a while. That's just an example of things we could not afford, and we also refused to take on debt to have things.
But financially, life got better. We advanced each year on the salary ladder; hubby worked a night job in addition to teaching, and later we both taught night school (after offspring was older). However, the old habits of frugality die hard.
We are retired now, and comfortable. I would guess we are upper middle class with our combo of pension, social security and income stream from investments. But we choose to monitor our utility usage, to stay out of debt, to live in a smaller older home, to do things ourselves (such as lawn care, cleaning, car care, home maintenance, etc) rather than hire a service to do this. I still wash out my baggies, and save Christmas wrappings! Our vehicles are each about 10 years old, and still going well, thanks to Hubby's maintenance. We love Goodwill and yard sales, and wear second hand clothes. Sounds frugal to me!!!
But our priorities are uniquely ours, as it is with most families. We choose to be frugal in certain areas so that we can be generous in other areas. We're not steak and lobster people (although I would love to be!!!), but we eat well and sensibly. We garden to give us cheaper and better food. I don't throw food away; everything is used up. I think that eating well saves money on medicines and doctor and hospital bills. Ditto for my gym membership. I'm investing in health!!
We like to travel. The only way we can indulge that habit is to save in other areas. We give about 30% of income away to church and charities and in helping individuals. That money comes from somewhere; it's only by being frugal in some areas that we can do this.
We have little luxuries and some big luxuries that I would never have thought possible in the past. For example, we have a hot tub in the back yard. That was a wonderful investment for my older joints, and peace of mind. It's a luxury, but we waited until we could pay cash. Hubby has a little barn made into a woodshop; again it's a luxury, but we paid cash for it.
Overall, if a family is responsible in meeting the needs of the family, in keeping up with taxes, insurance, utilities, and payments, and is saving for the future, then I think they can spend their money on other things and not be out of line, frugally. It's also important to learn to wait, and that's hard when you see others of your age living well, or appearing to live well.