Frugal Village Forums banner

help...DH showers forever!

3K views 33 replies 22 participants last post by  sinopa27 
#1 ·
My hubby and step son like to shower for an hour. (not together)
ha! I am still a newlywed so I haven't really addressed it but I know I will have to. I have a well. My hubby and step son work in a mirror factory so they have a lot of dust and glass that they are exposed to.
I understand the long shower but an hour????
So....I need help. I need advice. What can I say or do? Is there a showerhead I can get that will use less water?

Thanks in advance
Sinopa
 
#2 ·
I have the same issue. DH will shower for 30-45 minutes a pop...2-3 times a day (ugh). We ended up moving on base so that's not an issue anymore.

I've heard of people having success with just turning off the hot water after X amount of time. Or maybe getting a kitchen timer so they hear a "ding" after x amount of minutes- in case they just lose track of time in the shower.

You can get low flow shower heads
 
#8 ·
Yes, this. Do it subtly, a few degrees at a time so they get used to less and less and don't realize you've just shut them off.
 
#4 ·
Gawd, I remember my brother used to do that growing up- I remember my mom standing at the door morning after morning pounding on the bathroom door yelling..... Unfortunately she never was able to break him.
 
#7 ·
#6 ·
DD does that and i can tell if I stand in the 1/2 bath below.
I have asked,had her set timers, and flushed the toilet several times in a row w/ the water going. I end up starting the dishwasher and running laundry. Cold does it.
I know "mean" but even though we have a well we still have to heat all that water and other people Might want to get in there.

I guess I would sit down w/ a start of I know we are just married but I need to discuss A,B,C but be prepared for a return list from him.
 
#9 ·
It sounds to me like they are people who work hard at jobs that might not be the most pleasant, and are choosing a very inexpensive and reasonable way to relax and unwind at the end of a long work day.

Would you prefer they stop after work at a bar to buy overpriced drinks to relax? Or get expensive massages instead of letting hot water relax tired muscles?

I can't even imagine telling my husband he couldn't shower how he wanted to after a day of hard physical work, if that was the type of job he had. He works hard, and he contributes the bulk of our income. If he wants to spend part of it on hot water, it's not up to me to tell him he shouldn't.
 
G
#10 ·
I take long hot showers, too. I find them relaxing. Cheaper than a pedicure or massage, allow me time with my own thoughts, and I get to pamper myself by using special bath products. Have you done the math to figure out how much these showers cost? I'm pretty sure that the cost is minimal compared to the value your family gets out of them.
 
#11 ·
Pfft. I have cut the number of days I shower as long as I am not going out (yes I still wash everyday)
And the amt. of landry I make and wash
SO
I don't see any reason others can't do the same.
EVERY penny counts.
I have a finite pot of money to pull from
the "kids" can't find jobs and we pay college
So I say cut the showers. Read a library books to relax,yoga, go for a walk w/ the dog/
Do what you guys want at your houses but we can't waste that way. And I can see why she wouldn't want to.
 
#14 ·
I'm not a man, but I loooooove long showers. It's an easy (and relatively inexpensive) way to unwind and relax. I also get regular massages and consider it money well spent. To each their own.

However, I grew up with well water and completely understand the concern. Having the well go dry is no fun at all! I'd definitely go with a low flow shower head if you don't already have one. We have and like this one...

Amazon.com: Delta Faucet 75152 Water Amplifying Adjustable Showerhead with H2OKINETIC Technology, Chrome: Lenny Dee: Home Improvement@@AMEPARAM@@http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41PwFhf4MzL.@@AMEPARAM@@41PwFhf4MzL

I'd also talk about the possibility of a timer. It's easy to lose track of time in the shower. Hearing a ding might help them wrap up a little more quickly.
 
#15 ·
I'm a woman & I love long hot showers. We also have a well. I get up at 3:45 a.m. and the showers help me wake up. One thing that has helped is I've bought one of those water proof shower clocks so I do tend to move quicker now so I'm not late. I admittedly think that in the past I've dozed off in the shower - LOL
 
#16 ·
With well water also besides the water usages issue,well going dry, and electric for the water heater, there's the electric usage with the well pump. A well pump running will rack the $'s big time.
 
#17 ·
my issue is the well running dry. This is the 1st time in my life that I have lived with a well. So I don't know much about them. Except,
that a well can run dry. My husband and step son are used to living in the city and never had water issues. I have cut the water heater down some.
I truly understand about the relaxation and also wanting to make sure they are clean since they work with mirror. I am not sure if a 1 hour shower from each of them in different bathrooms at the same time is necessary. First of all, if anyone needs to use the bathroom, they have them both occupied at the same time and then they are in there showering for an hour!
My electric bill has increased tremendously since we have been married. Its bad to say, but they give me $100 towards the electric bill and I have to pay the rest. That's good when the bill is $110....but $200 is crazy. I have to pay $100 or more at times and I am always trying to conserve water and energy.
I guess I need to get up some nerve and address this issue. I pray it doesn't cause any problems.
Thank you my FV family!
 
#20 ·
sounds strange.......he just hands me $100 and says...."for the light
bill". My sick sister and my 14 year old daughter lives with me too.
 
#19 ·
I'm impressed you have enough hot water for two simultaneous showers lasting an hour.

Another thing, if you are already concerned about bringing up such a minor topic in your marriage, you may be in for some trouble later on. Keep your lines of communication open, and don't be afraid of discussing things that bother you.
 
#21 ·
I believe they don't mind if the water gets cold. My husband and
step son are from Mexico and are used to bathing in a river. So.....cool water isn't a problem.
 
#24 · (Edited)
No one needs a one-hour shower. They are not showering. They are playing with themselves.

I'm a man and I can get good and sweaty working outside. A ten minute shower is plenty.

Install a low-flow showerhead. Turn down the thermostat on the water heater as low as it will go.

In our guest cabin, I installed a half-size water heater. That way, guests who don't believe our water restrictions will run out of hot water before the well runs dry.

Edit:
As far as the well it should go down to an aquifer but I can't say for yours. Our is deep at 400'.
Wells do run dry. Our well recharges at 2 gallons per hour in the summertime. Yes, you read that right, 2 gallons per hour, not per minute. If we draw water from it faster than 2 gallons per hour for long enough, it will go dry. I've done it, though not with a shower.
 
#28 ·
I am married to a paper pusher who used to shower for 45 minutes every day. We had a chat. We live in a 90 year old house with old lead water lines that are encrusted in minerals over the years. Water pressure is very low. You can't shower and use water any other place in the house at the same time. He basically showered until he ran out of hot water.

His reason was similar to mndtrp's...to think things over. I suggested he do his thinking other places. Some of us need the facilities and a glass of water every now and then (though I partly solved that by keeping a pitcher of water in the fridge). Forget trying to make supper while he was having a shower though. Or doing laundry... It isn't a case of diverting cold or hot water... It's a case of having any at all!

He seems to have negotiated the shift to a 15 minute shower quite nicely...especially when shown the water and natural gas bill differences between 45 minute and 15 minute showers. It does add up. You might want to take up massage to help him relax his muscles in the evenings. ;)
 
#31 ·
never able to break him....

this is what i do....i tell my son 10 minutes in and out...thats the way it goes and no really extreme hot showers....on minute 7 i go and knock on the door and tell him if he is not out in 3 minutes i am coming in....and i mean it...i changed his diaper when he was little so if i have to go in their and pull him by the ear to get him out of the shower i will....never have had to though...i think he knows i mean it...
 
#32 ·
Try this - You should have a main water shut off to the house- (if you don't know where it is, look for the water pipes that feed into the house and it's usually in that area)... tell him that he has 10 mins & then the water gets shut off...

Then if he hasn't finished doing whatever it is he is doing... go and shut the valve off - no more water.....:tay:
 
#34 ·
I believe that having the opportunity to vent here and get the opinions of so many has helped me to be able to bring up the topic. Immediately, my step son has shorten his shower. About 30 mins now. He said he was just doing what his father did. He is 28. Now i need to talk with my DH. He hasnt been feeling well lately so i will wait until a better time. I understand the need to relax. We work opposite shifts so we have an hour together and i go to work. So he cant say i am nagging him.
Thank you so much my FV family
 
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top