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You Spend Too Much On These Things!

3K views 20 replies 20 participants last post by  Spirit Deer 
#1 ·
#2 ·
I watched the video and most of what he says is common sense. However, I have been telling my husband that I would rather some one make me a pine box for a casket. I think people spend way to much on them. After all, they don't know what they were buried in.
 
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#3 ·
I've asked to be buried in a cardboard box. Seriously - that's not supposed to be a joke.

There are places in the south (as in southern US) - that have what are called 'living cemeteries'. (Most places in the US they are illegal- but are becoming more common as time goes on).

In a living cemetery - you are buried in a cardboard box & then you are literally absorbed back into the earth.

That's my wishes ~ I hope they are honored.
 
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#4 ·
I'm being cremated. If you want to be buried, you can rent the casket for the viewing then get buried in a much cheaper model. Some places, like Costco, lets you buy your casket ahead of time and away from the pressure of the funeral home.

I couldn't get the video to stream correctly. What are some of the points being made?
 
#7 ·
DH & I want to be cremated without being embalmed (morbid!!!). No services. This has to be done, in our state, within 24 hours of death. Can't be done if there is an autopsy involved as I understand it. Hope our wishes are granted. Tooooooo much money. If this can't be done, a pine box or a cardboard box is fine with me.
 
#8 ·
I've seen cheap coffins made of particle board.

We're being cremated. As little impact on the environment as possible, no chemicals or any ickies of any kind to go into the ground water, and not that expensive, relatively speaking.

A lot of funeral spending isn't done for the dead, it's for the living. It's the last chance the family has to do something nice for the deceased, and doing things nicely at the funeral helps them feel they did right by their loved one. It helps ease their grief a little. A plain square box might be too stark and cold for the family in their grief. That's why flowers are nice, they make things seem a little 'softer', so IMO I think expenses for non-essentials like flowers are important . I'm not explaining it very well, but I do think the remaining family needs to be considered when planning a funeral. Not saying people should pull out all the stops and go deep into debt to pay for a huge blow-out, but there needs to be a balance, IMO.

My mom pre-paid her funeral expenses back in the eighties and sat down with the funeral director where she bought the policy to discuss what her wishes were. Excellent idea. That takes the burden off my brother and me and also kills any objections my brother might have against cremation.
 
#12 ·
I want to have my body donated for scientific research & have the rest cremated. My remains can be dumped any place they see fit but they can not be kept on a mantel - that's creepy!!. I don't want a viewing or any of that. My kids know I want it to be as low/no cost as possible. I want them to spend the rest of the money on a party - have a hog roast, bonfire and lots of spirits available to drink. Celebrate my life, tell funny stories and send my spirit off with a bang..no tears unless thy are from laughter.
 
#14 ·
Personal exprience.
Hubby worked as an assistant funeral director for a few years,he insisted he wanted "direct cremation",basically,from where he took his last breath to the crematory,no viewing,flowers,luncheon,at all.Told everyone these were his wishes,kids,friends,went and paid the funeral home.
He passed in 06,in the hospital,after a 3-week illness.I couldn't do it!!! I just felt we needed something to commemorate his life,our 2 sons and daughter felt what ever I wanted was fine,we had a short service at the funeral home and a few people back to the house after for lunch.I didn't have his ashes yet.
I do not regret my decision,I sometimes wish he had a headstone,so I could go and "chat" with him. I sprinkled the ashes over the property where we had lived when I moved.
It's a very difficult decision and hard to understand the mindset of the loved ones at the time of their family members passing.
 
#15 ·
I am a sentimental person about grave markers. I have spent tons and tons of time photographing and documenting hundreds of thousands of grave markers for genealogical purposes. Therefore, I have an attachment to having a stone. I got a marker for my stillborn DS last year too. (granted, the cemetery does baby funerals/markers at very low cost because of pity - I paid less than the material was worth for the copper marker - I think they do it so cheap because 99% of the time if you bury a baby you probably buy plots for yourself too and are more likely to re-use the cemetery). I also have family plots available at other locations I could have used for free but they were far from me. Several were offered by family members. It was important for us and we didn't get ripped off in the process. It would have been similar pricing to cremate.

My aunt is being cremated and told me that she refuses to have her estate pay for a marker but I told her she doesn't have a choice, I'm getting her a marker, either before or after the estate is closed (I'm the heir). My grandparents (living) have a plot in a cemetery where they bury a lot of people in the same plot so there are frequently a lot of markers on each plot - I plan on putting a memorial marker there even if she's cremated.
 
#18 ·
I've also asked to be cremated...and no funeral with a lunch afterwards...that was the worst thing after my grand parents died...sitting at a 'head table' with people coming to talk...like you were in the mood for conversation. My family knows I want my ashes to be spread out on the island at the lake we have property...that way Sophie knows I'm everywhere...not buried in a the ground.
 
#19 ·
I'm another "scientific research" donation. I told my mother that I heard, recently, that most heads go to plastic surgeons-to-be, so they can learn to do rhinoplasties. I told her I might be dead, but I'm going to look fabulous! ;)
 
#20 ·
My grandfather donated his body to science. He died of melanoma.

When dh's father died, we had him cremated. That took longer than expected and dh had to be back at work. We live in the Midwest; his father lived in California. We ended up having the remains mailed to us for burial near where we lived. Really freaked our mailman out when he delivered it.
 
#21 ·
We had FIL cremated. He'd have died all over again if he knew that! But we didn't do anything to him we don't plan to have done to ourselves, and besides, he told me once he didn't see any need for life insurance, because when he was dead, his bills would be someone else's problem. So be it. We're still paying off his nursing home bills eleven years later. My husband dug the hole at the cemetery and buried the urn, which we bought off eBay for $12.50, to save on having to have someone else do it. We had a small service at FIL's church with no reception afterward. I think a lot of people judged us harshly but he left us with a mountain of debt and my husband was an only child, so the whole thing fell on us.

A co-worker of my husband's just buried her mom on Monday. The funeral, which was not fancy, was over $11,000 with traditional embalming, casket, services, flowers, and all that, plus burial. I don't think that included the headstone though.
 
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