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Getting past this... sur

27K views 197 replies 15 participants last post by  mommy4ever 
#1 ·
We are going to get through this!! This is the first week dh hasn't pulled in a paycheck. We've done all the forms for disability, and now it's waiting for processing.

I have saved most of my November income post bill payment, eliminated the snow ball until dh has money coming in again. Tweaked some stuff, so we will have enough for a bit. I collected on an invoice I had increasing for the year, gave me an extra $500. At the end of the month I have a $600 reimbursement coming in, which will build my EF a little more.

With any luck, my one PT will be full time for December. That will be another $200 above what I made this month.

I don't know what we're doing for Christmas, until dh starts getting disability and/or returns to work, it's going to be pretty lean this year.

Dh said when we get the payoff on the vehicle, we'll be ok, before we even need to consider dipping into credit. I *technically* make enough to cover all our basic expenses. utilities, mortgage, groceries, etc. Just really really lean. But I don't like it being that close to the wire... kinda scary.

It's eye opening though. I did a spread sheet just to be sure on my numbers. Once this crisis is over, we need to evaluate things, we should be able to put way more into savings than we have been. I think we need to redo the budget. We should be able to live on his income pretty easily and pretty much bank all of mine once we pay off the last credit debt.
 
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#2 ·
Keep talking and posting....it always helps.
 
#3 ·
Hope things work out well for you. We're in the US, so I'm sure things are different - my disability case took over 2 years to get approved here, and it was hard, especially since we also ended up having to finance a custody case in the middle of it. I applied for disability in July of 2011 and finally got my first check last month.

It isn't a lot, and I know that the earnings aren't as good in Canada, but can you or your husband do a little bit of Swagbucks or InstaGiftCard type sites to try to earn a few gift cards for Christmas presents? I do these with my laptop while taking my breathing treatments, which usually take several hours each day. I've been working at it all year, but right now I have over $500 dollars in my Amazon account to buy Christmas presents from these types of sites. If you want to know more about how they work, and some tips, you can send me a private message.
 
#4 ·
:bighug: mommy4ever

One income is hard when your use to two especially if it's the lower one. Been there, done that, and more than once. Your right it's scary when things are so lean. When we were there the last go round I found quite a bit of help/support for my sanity here. Keep your eye out for the extra income stuff, especially anything online like the swagbucks janal14 posted that your DH can do even if you guys share a user name.
 
#5 ·
Thanks :) Short term disability should be processed by this coming Wednesday, which will bring us a little in, then the others will follow in a week. It's not long term, and it seems it's not too many hoops to go through, as it's the Dr. that is insisting, not dh, that he take time off due to the accident.

thanks Nomad. Dh and computers aren't much of a mix..lol. a VOLATILE mix maybe..lol. It frustrates him greatly. Best not to do it. We should be back to normal income within the next 3 or 4 weeks, providing there are no snags.

I did just get the paypal deposit, so I transferred that into savings. I should be fine for gas for the next 5 days too, so other than some basics from the grocery store on the weekend and paying for a medical form to be filled out on Monday, we don't have any planned expenses for a few days.

I need to call satellite company, I got notice they returned my payment. Which I've never had in the 15 years of dealing with them. I thought it might be phishing, so I logged in on the website, and they did return it, so now, I have a couple days to resubmit payment, but it's not back in my chequing, they said it's the bank that pulled the payment. So now I have to call the bank.
 
#6 ·
Technological glitch. They are hoping to find out what happened by Monday. So I call back then to see what is going on. No one knows who's end it was on. bank or the satellite company. At least they are trying to figure out and no one will get a late fee for this error, as NO one has the money at the moment..lol
 
#7 ·
I finally did get a book with the gift card. I got a book on eating for specific issues. I've been having issues with wheat... is it grain or gluten? I did go wheat and gluten-free for about 10 days and felt pretty good. But I don't know how to maintain that. It's hard with the family. I have found a couple nice pastas that i could use. We aren't big pasta people, so the extra cost of it is pretty minimal. I have experimented with some alternate flours, and really didn't care for it. So i decided on a Paleo basics book. Amazon and several great reviews on it. Dh isn't bit on grains other than sandwiches for his lunch, doesn't care for pasta or rice, so it wouldn't be a huge transition for us to eat more that way. If I can feel better, it would be a wonderful. I really can't afford to get sick and not be running the home daycare right now. I am getting exhausted.

So I did use it, I had been thinking what if dd10 needs something. Really, most I can get from the library, so it's not a big deal. It was a gift card..lol. Momma needs to take a little time for herself sometimes, and this is a journey for health right now. With all the stress with the car accident and all right now, I could really use a boost to my immune system.

So now I'm stalking the post man for my book..lol... which our library didn't have btw.
 
#8 ·
Dh and I discussed, and we decided to put the snowball on the LOC despite it being a really tight month. He technically *should* get a short term disability cheque this coming week and that covers mortgage, but he still has 2/3 of his last cheque in the bank. While not ideal, if we really needed it, we could take out of the LOC. But I still have enough after groceries to cover 2 weeks mortgage in my EF, and he has some in the other savings too, without touching that snowball on the LOC and then I get paid again, so I think it's a good decision.
 
#9 ·
After a stressful week on the accident recovery front, this weekend provided a little hope. Ends up that on dd10's hockey team, one of the dad's is a specialist in rehab medicine, including concussion. I knew he was a dr, but not that he was specialized. I had asked to talk with him to see if he could recommend some one that could assess dh injuries. He asked a couple questions and then said he'd email me his information and to have dh get a referral to him! He did say there is a wait, but to let him know when the letter goes up and he will try to expedite the process on his end. I am soooo grateful. I almost cried :) He said he is shocked that people come to see him a year post injury and their doctors haven't physically examined him, just xrays and meds. Then are puzzled why their patients are frustrated. Dh just hit that point quickly.

Dh sees his doctor tomorrow and is insisting on the referral. YAY
 
#11 ·
The GP was happy to write the referral. He did say that we can expect a 1-2 year wait. When I was talking to the specialist he said he'd do what he can to make it as soon as possible. Since dh is off work until January now, he is available short notice for cancellations. So with any luck the next blizzard will get him an appointment.

dh will be off for another 6 weeks at least. Now to find out how to modify the dates already sent in.

we are at least falling into a rhythm at home now. Getting used to the extra person during the day. Makes homeschooling a little easier. I might get dh to help with some things I think dd would enjoy that.
 
#12 ·
How is the daycare business going? I am now running into holiday vacation time coming up. I always tweak the budget but I swear my parents take more and more time off every December. I have to re do my budget every quarter it seems. I do like to reflect back to my notes in my household binder. That helps me the most. Keep your head up and good job!
 
#13 ·
Daycare is doing well. Newest pt child is going to ft next week. Meaning a little more income for us. I have been getting dh to do some daytime stuff to let me breathe a little. He is bring dd to an improv class tomorrow. Gives him something to do and I appreciate the break from it.
 
#14 ·
While looking forward to the pt going ft, I'm not at the same time. Looks like a 6:30 am start for me. But we do what we gotta do.

In another post, there was the question what do you spend for groceries. Typically I have $160 per week($690 per month). I cut the budget this month. I allotted $450(112 per week). I have come in under budget so far, even with the Timmies stops(only a few).

I have forgotten how my family eats. I rediscover it every now and then...lol. They are simple. Basic foods, nothing fancy. Last night was shepards pie. DD10 doesn't like her baked, so i made her a mini one is a teeny french white dish. She was thrilled. Served with raw veggies, it's a complete meal. Everyone left the table satisfied :)

Night before was chicken pieces, tossed in a dressing mix(thyme, brown sugar and italien dressing), and sweet potatoes tossed inthe same mix. Baked for an hour. Another hit. Salad on the side.

Home made pizza is a hit, I am trying to find a substitute for me, as i have a wheat issue, get intestinal distress, so much happier without it.

I keep cooked pasta in the fridge, makes for a quick lunch... boil water and soak a couple minutes, and it's like fresh. Great for soup add broth, leftover veggies, or with marinara or meat sauce(dd10 just discovered that she likes meat sauce!), or tossed with a little italian dressing as a quick side of pasta salad. I have gluten free pasta for me.

I keep rice cooked and ready too(when I make it for supper I double it). DD14 love it heated up with a little butter, cinnamon and sugar. A dutch dish, I guess, friends introduced her to it. I like it heated with a little coconut milk and cinnamon, as an alternative to porridge, add almonds, frozen berries, it's heaven. Mmmmm. I use it at lunch, add left over meat, veggies, 'fry' it up then crack an egg or 2 into it, and a nice healthy fried rice dish. Dh enjoys quinoa the same way.

Quinoa is a good one, I don't make it for the fridge, but use up any leftovers. It's also good as a hot cereal too, or add sprig of mint, some cut up mandarins and some slivers of raw carrots and it's a hearty salad, tossed with a little orange juice and honey.

Despite how the above sounds, we don't actually have grains every day..lol. Just plans to use it when we do. usually 2-3x a week we have it at supper, and use the left overs.

Speaking of which, I should put a chicken in the fridge for Thursday and take out something for tonight.

Meals during the day are getting challenging. One child has a banana/egg/milk allergy, and I have wheat..lol. Needless to say, I am getting creative. I feed him typically very separate from the others as even touching milk has hives show up. Fresh cloths for the table final wipe. That cloth then does the initial wipe at the next meal, and a fresh cloth for final wipe. He reacts easily, but not necessarily severely, but I don't want to take the chance. So lots of dishcloths here... 5-6 a day...lol. What do you do. I need to spend some time and do a new meal plan for the littles, I like to do like an assembly dinner place, where it's all prepped, and you need to do is cook it. But my old menus no long work, due to his allergies, and my new issues.

I need to go get tests done. Celiac came back negative, which means it's an allergy/intolerance, and might mean I can add gluten to my diet if I really want to have breads again.... I will experiment next time I get to the health food store, and get a small packet of gluten. I did talk to a lady who was sickly for years, but was told she didn't have celiac disease, her blood work said so. But eventually when they did a scope, she did have it...

I know going gluten free, I feel so much better. No more stomach issues, not more emergency stops for the bathroom, I'm coughing way less, don't need to puffer. So it's either the gluten or the wheat... without testing I don't know what it is. I don't look like I have celiac, they general would be under weight, but again, others aren't. But changing eat habits eases up the symptoms, and there is no harm in eating this way, so it's all good, I guess.
 
#15 ·
wow, I just got a whole bunch of new meal ideas from you, thanks! :) You're really good at menu planning it looks like!

Good to hear you know what makes you feel better. A friend's hubby spent years and years feeling ill before discovering he has celiac. still a bit of trouble, but much better for him now.
 
#16 ·
Thanks, Cares. I don't find I plan meals other than for the daycare kiddos. And I haven't been doing that lately either. Brain is on overload most days. A plan takes brain power..lol. mind you once it's done, there isn't much brain power involved..lol. I need to sleep more. I am SO tired, yet I was in bed by 9:30... so so tired.
 
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#17 ·
Sooooo sooooo tired! Me too. Daycare is exhausting in general. My dear sweet little girl thought it would be a great idea to be awake from 4am to 6am this morning. I just fell asleep and dear sweet little boy decided to wake up earlier than normal.

I'm great at planning my family's dinner meals. I do a menu for the month (except this month so far. I slacked. About 2 weeks in advance), and its' so easy peasy. Once it's done I mean. I usually look at past menus and take from there. I'm not good at planning daycare lunches. I fly by the seat of my pants. Usually dinner left overs, grilled cheese, veggies, eggs. Easy stuff. My kids aren't wanting to eat Anything right now anyways. sigh.
 
#18 ·
yes, my newest guy is a super fussy eater....immensely so. Plus food allergies..lol. Makes it challenging.

NO, menu planning isn't great in general. I go with what's on sale or in the fridge. last night was perogies and sausage for the family, gf pasta for me with marinara and cheddar. Mmmm. I have left over in the fridge for lunch. Can't use the perogies for allergy boy, but the other kiddos can have them, and dd has left over sheppards pie. So easy today. Allergy boy has his baby food, and will have toast and pieces of cooked sweet potato.

But it's on the fly! LOL.

Dh was in better spirits today, he slept better, and we had an impromptu visitor last night at 10 pm..lol. It was supposed to be a drop off, but he stayed 45 minutes, and it really boosted his spirits. I think I need to make sure we have some visitors a couple times a week and keep his spirits up. now to decide who..lol. Not all people are positive to have around.

I have a chicken in the fridge, need to see if it's thawing enough or if I need to put it in a bowl of water. We have an extra for supper tonight, so needs it to be ready. Will toss potatoes and carrots in the roaster and have steamed broccoli and cawliflower. If there's drippings gravy too. Hit or miss on that.

Looked at bank accounts, really hoping disability comes in soon. His is getting low now. enough for the next week and a bit, before I need to dip into my account, that said I get paid again on the 30th, so we'll be ok. But I don't like it being so tight.

insurance still hasn't called with an offer on the vehicle. We called our insurance, and they said typically, offer comes 3-5 days after they take it to a storage yard... tomorrow it's been in storage for 2 weeks. Now sure what to do on it. Technically it was my vehicle that got wrecked. Dh has been looking around and there are some good deals out there, but without money, what do we do?? It's frustrating. I am paying insurance on a vehicle that's not drivable. And I can't take it off because it's a claim, so until we get that cheque, we can't cancel it. Arghhhh.

Oh well. We are holding off. My sweet heard ds19, offered to loan us money if we need to, interest free <3 <3 what a sweetie. We shouldn't need to, but it's nice to know we have a caring son, that is willing to help us out if needed. And for those wondering, this kid earns more than dh does..lol. He is motivated, works as much as he can. He is saving for a house, so i don't want to do it..lol. He is about 1/4 of the way to a 25% down payment on a house, then he's creating a contingency fund so that he isn't house poor either. We've done something right with him. I am just proud he offered, feel like we did somethign right.
 
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#19 ·
Still waiting on disability.. ughhh. Brought dd10 to the optometrist today. She has 3 issues. One, she has scales on her lashes, which produces a staph bacteria and irritates the eyes, her older sister has the same thing. Means her eyes sting, but soaking with warm compresses daily will help her. He says it's something that stays present for a lifetime. I am going to do some research to see if that is accurate or if it could possibly be a reaction to some kind of food or environmental agent. Two, her eyelids are too small for her huge eyeballs..lol. No one notices, but night she sleeps with her eyes partially open, which dries her eyes out, paired with the condition one, is not a great thing at all. We have artificial tears to use now which will help. She is not happy. And three, she has a slight tendency to be cross-eyed up close. She is slightly far sighted. He said the far sighted at this age is pretty normal, but her eye muscles are fighting to stay uncrossed which is why she tires. He said he's putting her in reading glasses for a month, and see how she's doing. He said the theory is that this will correct and then she won't need glasses, but he doubts her eyes have read the theory, so we'll go empirically and see if she responds well. If so, at that point we'll buy glasses, right now they are using some 'loaners' in the right prescription. They aren't the right shape, but it's only for school work, and she's homeschooled, so not a big deal. I had her try mine one, and she liked how they looked, so we know she needs rectangular glasses. He said some kids don't gain anything from it, so he'd rather we use the loaners for.If it's a positive Then we'll get her a nice pair that is the right size and shape for her.

She is calmed down about it now. Plus she doesn't have any group activities where she'd need them until January, so we're good. She'll have some funky trendy ones(for cheap..lol) in December if they are needed.

Dh is gone to his appt now too. He will need new ones, but the point of the appt is to get a referral to ophthalmologist. And dd16 goes next week, she will likely need glasses as she can't read the board. Going to be a pricey month. Thankful for clearly contacts!! She can get a free pair, paying only for coatings. WOOHOO.

That leaves dd14. She's goign to be a tough cookie if she needs glasses.
 
#20 ·
Today is eventful :) Got the letter disability was approved! Yes.

Got a phone call, dh is scheduled for MRI in January. I called had them put him on list for cancellations. And they called an hour later, and he's there getting the MRI.

He asked his doctor to give him a referral to a specialist, he was told there was a 1 to 2 year waiting list. We got a letter in the mail today, he has a consultation in 3 weeks :)

NOW, that the MRI is almost done, we will be able to schedule surgery for his knee, and get all the big stuff done now :) before it causes further damage!

We also got his EI stuff, so we did a report on that, they haven't approved it yet, but that will come. Things are starting to come together. He is supposed to get a call today or Monday with the initial offer on my vehicle that got wrecked in the crash, yay!

I told him we need to set up a clipboard for me, and once a week I do all the calls, as it took 2 hours, and things kept coming up, and adding to it. It would have taken less time, if I'd had a list. He can't deal with the calls, short term memory issues.

I'm feeling much relieved! All the pieces are fitting now. Can't imagine if he'd been hospitalized long term, it would be so hard.
 
#21 ·
We got the phone call today. Dh needs to go in to get his results from the MRI. This is not entirely good. That means something was found. Not good. Something was found so now we can develop a treatment plan, so that's good..lol.

I got a reimbursement today, so I added another $550 to my savings :) I ran the numbers, i should be able to do my snowball next month and a nice deposit to savings again :) Dh will get paid this Thursday, so that is good!

We survived the month, no credit used. YAY
 
#23 ·
Thank you Rose, I keep reminding myself to be positive, he is well enough to be home. That accident could have be fatal. That it wasn't was miraculous, so we can deal with anything. Sometimes I get anxious, it's stressful, but I am so happy he's home with me. We can deal with anything together. He made me a promise to talk when things are going funky to not try and deal with it alone as that causes tension. And so far it's been good. When he is feeling bad he lets me know he needs to go lay down. To take some time as he is feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, angry or sick. It's the injuries. Not us.
 
#24 ·
We finally got an offer on our vehicle and it was a fair offer, we talked them up a little bit. We should have money in hand Thursday. Dh will be getting his short term on Thursday, and the insurance top up was mailed this week as well. Still waiting on EI...ughhhh

now we have a whole new round of forms to get filled out. But we're ok. LOC is on target to be paid off as planned in Feb, then only Mortgage left for debts. Time to start saving big time.

Dh got his MRI results on his knee back, goodnews/bad news scenario. Still waiting on the other. I will be so relieved to know what's going on. Regardless the results, not knowing is the worst.
 
#25 ·
Good to hear that things are coming along you and your family.

If you can, buy some ground corn to make polenta. As long as it states being gluten free it should be ok to use. I have been making it with just chicken stock. Any leftovers get spread out in a pan and cut up to put in chicken stock or soup. It reminds me alot of matzo ball soup and gives me more options with being gluten and dairy free. The children may also like it since it is pretty basic. Also a little ground corn can make a lot of polenta.
 
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