Has being frugal ever cost you a relationship?

**milach** · 04-10-2003, 02:40 PM

I was just reading an interesting article about how some poeple will go so far as to take advantage of others and cause hurt feelings in their attempt to save a nickle.

The author tells about her "proud to be frugal" sister in law who insisted on everyone pitching in to get a ham for a family holiday potluck dinner. Although no one really wanted a ham, they went ahead and ordered one. We'll when it came time to pay up, the SIL never contributed to it. To make matters worse, there was alot of ham left over, and she took it upon herself without asking anyone else to wrap up the ham and bring it home with her. Sure she got cheap meals for her household with the loftovers while being inconsiderate to the rest of her family.

So I got to thinking about myself- I haven't been hurt by anyone else's frugality, nor do I think I've hurt anyone, but it definitely does give me something to think about for the future- don't use frugality as an excuse to be rude.

Laura

**captclearance** · 04-10-2003, 03:19 PM

There is a big difference between being frugal and selfish .........
I have been hurt by selfish behavior but not ever by someone's attempts to honestly to make the best of their resources..........
I know the difference ................

**simplemom** · 04-10-2003, 04:45 PM

I am frugal, but very generous with friends and family.

I think we can be generous and still be frugal. I believe in people before things.

Lucie

**aylasmommy** · 04-10-2003, 05:02 PM

nah, that lady was just a cheapskate, i wouldn't give her the honor of being called 'frugal'

Now if she'd used a coupon to get that ham for half price, paid for it with money she got doing surveys, THEN fed them and saved the leftovers for herself....then I would call that frugal

**pita1213** · 04-10-2003, 07:27 PM

like captclearance said, there is a difference between being frugal and being selfish. if someone is hurt by your actions (ie having to pay for something they did want in teh first place and you not chipping in like in this example) you are not being frugal, you are being rude. but had she chipped in for the ham, and had she asked if anyone else wanted some of the leftovers before taking them, THEN i would call her frugal.

**CAGmomof2** · 04-11-2003, 06:56 AM

I would neve want to do what this woman did to her family.....
I agree with Heather that if she had a coupon and paid for the ham with Survey Money then she had the right to take the leftovers so her family could use them .
I truely think she was selfish in the way she went about getting the ham for her family's consumption.

**blueknitter** · 04-13-2003, 05:02 PM

I agree, this woman wasn't at all frugal. She was just cheap and mean. I can't imagine doing this to anyone, much less family. We're very fortunate that we're offered leftovers by family whenever we go to eat with them. We accept when they're offered, but would never insist on a main dish, refuse to chip in, and then cut and run with the remnants. That's just rude.