Does your extended family understand why you are frugal?

**guest2** · 12-29-2003, 03:57 PM

I was just sitting here ponderering ways to cut costs even more and thought about our extended families' reactions to us being so frugal. We have a few who support us and others who really feel sorry for us or don't understand our choices for keeping me home with our children. It always amazes me that some family members who just don't understand us have filed for bankruptcy 3 times now because they can't imagine having to forgo their daily lattes.

How about you?

**slowtypinwoman** · 12-29-2003, 04:11 PM

No, my family as well as Dh's thinks we are poor or just plain cheap. We have a lot of "things" and need no more. I am trying my hardest to get us out of the hole we crawled into this summer. It was hard yesterday too when we went to J.C. Penny's and they had jewelry on SALE!! Dh just kind of wandered over there and started looking I looked too. Thankfully there was that frugal little me sitting onmy shoulder saying RUN MARCIA!!!! LOL

**Mom23boys** · 12-29-2003, 04:19 PM

I think they think we are just cheap, but when they need something they always call us first. I was talking to my mom on the phone today and she was telling me that she is finally starting to figure out how to stockpile. She was telling me that my step-dad was telling her that I was really smart about the way I purchased our groceries and neccessities. My MIL has tried, but just can't catch on. I hope my mom can jump on board this year.

I love my frugal way of life.

**AmyBoz** · 12-29-2003, 04:28 PM

I don't really know what they think. I know that my brother in law, (married to dh's sister) thinks it's great. He's also a money saver. As for the rest of them, I think they think it is my little hobby. They don't realize that because of the way I spend and save that we have the things we have and are able to do the things we do. Dh pays to play in a hockey league twice a week. He loves it. They seem to think, "Amy is crazy...obviously they have enough money...Rob plays hockey twice a week which costs money." But, what they don't realize is that he is able to play BECAUSE I'm so frugal.

As for my parents, I don't really think they get it either. My mother seems annoyed by my grocery savings because it is hard for her to justify telling my Dad that she needs $220 a week for groceries for the two of them and their fridge is ALWAYS empty, when I'm spending $150 a month for the 3 of us and our fridge and pantry are always full.

**PrairieRose** · 12-29-2003, 06:16 PM

Um, well they didn't really used to but now more and more they do. I think circumstances have opened their own eyes and now they see what being frugal can do for you.

**Jerseygirl** · 12-29-2003, 07:48 PM

They understand more now. My sister does our taxes and when she saw what we have now as opposed to 5 years ago it was a huge eye opener--will they try it-no-but they get the picture. MIL is thrifty to a point, my mother doesn't even bother to check a price tag. Funny though, all of my great aunts and uncles (depression era) are extremely frugal--on Christmas eve my uncle and I compared coffee deals!----Kellie

**Darlene** · 12-29-2003, 08:05 PM

Hi Kellie, miss hearing from you.
My sister especially likes to tell me about some of the deals I've made & MIL is singing my praises too.

My kids still like to tease...opening presents wondering if they should save every single scrap of wrapping paper, ribbons, bags. Well duh...ya save the good stuff, I can use it again!!They sure do like it when they are looking for a certain something and it's there cause good ol Mom "saved "it. They are starting to get the gist of saving here can give you money for something else. They tease but I know they are learning.

**homesteadmamma** · 12-29-2003, 08:09 PM

No they don't understand our being frugal, but then again they can't figure out how our home is paid and we have no cc debt. They never have understood us though, not just in frugality but in our lifestyle. But thats okay, I don't get their style of living either so were both even.

**guest2** · 12-29-2003, 08:40 PM

This is one of the nicest things about belonging to the Village! People understand and support you in your quest to live a full and frugal life!!!!

**Guest1** · 12-29-2003, 08:48 PM

Originally posted by homesteadmamma
But thats okay, I don't get their style of living either so were both even.

Ain't that the truth!!

Not only does our family (well, GW's family - I have no family...) not understand my lists, coupon usage, shopping loss leaders, menus, etc...they also cannot grasp why I'd want to teach my kiddos at home...they chose to ignore my explanations of why I wanted dishtowels for Christmas!

On a positive note though - While the Bush's were here over the holidays, they ***really*** listened to my wish list.....my Christmas presents were:
a new breadmaker (my old one was 10 years old!!)
a new sewing machine (my old one is 40 years old! GW's DGrandma's!)
walking shoes
dishtowels
potholders
underthings
socks *&*
photo paper for our printer

This was very hard on them because the whole family is "want driven" and all of them can support that habit - 'cept us!

But I was quite proud of them this Christmas - when they asked, I answered, & they stuck to what I said I wanted!! This was the first time ever!!

It was a happy holiday!!

**Jerseygirl** · 12-29-2003, 08:50 PM

Don't laugh-ok, laugh-I left my mom's on Christmas eve with a stack of empty gift bags and boxes--not all were Christmas either. My sister was going to toss them and looked at me with that "I guess you want these" Of course. Mom had saved a bunch from her birthday too!

**doodlebug** · 12-29-2003, 09:42 PM

I think dh's family wonders how we manage to do so well on just his income but they never ask, money is just one of those things not discussed in our families. MIL has noticed that I use coupons and I even pass a few her way on things that I know they use regularly. Dd has been in Walmart with MIL before and told her "hey, you can buy the off-brand cheaper and it's just as good" or "Kroger doubles coupons why don't you shop there?" So I think MIL is getting some hints on my "hobby" and maybe seeing why we make it on dh's salary alone.
My brothers know that I do decoy mail and think I'm nuts, but they have shown interest in using coupons.

**Lori Biever-Launder** · 12-29-2003, 11:34 PM

Dana, what is decoy mail?

Both of our families are frugal, more or less. My parents raised my sister and me on about %50 of the poverty level for the time (BELOW the poverty level). They are comfortable now, ut still cut some corners here and there.

DH's parents cut corners too. They live in a very nice (Street of Dreams) home and have lovely things, but are NOT up to their eyeballs in debt. We all reuse boxes and bows, much to the chargrin of my SIL's DH. We also occasionally regift things as well.

DH's sister and her family aren't as frugal as the rest of us, but they try.

My sister and I call each other up and brag on the great deals we get at the stores! People think we're weird when we are squealing over the cheap lunch meat we got!

**sunshine** · 12-30-2003, 08:52 AM

My parents and brother get it - my brother (6 years older than me) calls me every once in a while for hints. My sister on the other hand has no clue. She laughs when I save the potato peels for fried potato skins, then wonders how I can feed my crew of 5 + friends on less than she feeds just herself (hasn't a clue that eating out for 2-3 meals a day, EVERY day might make a difference!) She's filed for banruptcy once, and refinanced her house at least 4 times to stay solvent.

Dh's family- they think I'm weird. His parents are filing for bankruptcy for the 2nd time. His older sister gets mad at me for not letting her little brother do everything he wants, his brother thinks we are just "tight". Only his one sister "gets" it. She's single and gardens, saves scraps and so forth too. I like to compare notes with her.