Managing money alone is tough, but as a couple it can be tougher because you may have two very different sets of assumptions about how you should handle your money, says Deborah Knuckey, author of Conscious Spending for Couples. “Learning to talk about this tough topic can help keep things harmonious in your household.”

Share how you feel. For example, you might say, “I’m worried we’ll miss out on our goals when I see you making unplanned purchases.” Just avoid starting a discussion with an accusation.

Listen well. Focus on your partner and help him feel heard.

Acknowledge each other. Reiterate what he said to make sure you understand him correctly before you reply.

Watch your body language. Closed-off body language, such as rolling eyes, can quickly push an issue into conflict.

Pick your time. Don’t discuss money issues late at night or in public. Pick a time that’s good for both of you.

Go for the goals. Take one evening a week or month to check your progress, see what’s working, what’s not and clear the air.

Take a time-out. If you get frustrated, take a break. Move past the past and focus on the matter at hand.

– Deborah Knuckey, www.deborahknuckey.com