How does the Financial set up work in your home?

[Englishlady]

Many years ago when I was working as an RN, I found out during the course of a general conversation, that some of my work mates had unusual(to me!) ways of orgainising their finances.

Whilst not discussing specific amounts, it seemed that it was only myself and my dh who were financial equals!

Some of of the Nurses (most were married with children) said their salary paid for the Mortgage & food and their Dh took care of Holidays and the car expenses etc.

There were variations on a theme, but in each case it seemed that each partner took responsibility for certain aspects of the household budget, in effect "His & hers" financial responsibilities.

These were in the main, middle aged women who had been married to the same guy for years.

One young woman, had been married for about 12-18 months and was desperate to start a family, one day she plucked up courage to ask me how much money I made each month ( after deductions) at the time she was working full time and I was part-time, she said she wanted to know what my "take home pay" was because when she had a baby, she wanted to know if she could afford to work part-time and COVER HER HALF OF THE MORTGAGE AND VISA BILLS?


I was gobsmacked! here is a young woman who was going to have a child by the man she loved, but was worried that she might not afford to be able to pay her half of the household bills!!

Is it me or is it a bit strange that this couple had married yet seemed to be organising their finances like a couple of Room Mates?!!!

Throughout our marriage, DH and I have always "pooled" all our money(even though he has always earned more than me) and had the same amount of personal spending money( we call it our "pocket money"

Ten years ago I had a Car accident and have not been able to work since, I don't qualify for any state benefits as I am married.

I have always been the family "accountant"( and continue to this day) and I am pretty good at it (if I say so myself!)

I have catagories for EVERYTHING!

Like most people we are saving up for Dh's Retirement ( he is 6 years YOUNGER than me, so I want him to Retire as soon as possible!)
We don't have ANY debt , I use a CC only as a tool and pay off in full each month.

We save for a car almost continuously, even though the one we have is just months old.

Why? because we worked out that it will take 6 years to save enough cash for a basic new car,BUT if the new car we have lasts longer than that, we will be in a position to choose what to do with the extra money ( more for the retirement fund or a holiday perhaps?)

We have found that our cars seem to last about 6 years before things start to go expensively wrong and start costing money...... the way we do it, we get used to a certain amount of money being allocated for a car, BUT it is paid to our Car savings fund and not a Car dealer on a Credit Basis, with of course added interest!
This system is also very helpful if someone crashes in to you and the insurnace isn't enough to get you "back where you were" in your own little car scheme.

Having had big problems with my Washing machine, I have decided that a similar principle can be applied to my Washer, I now "charge my self" 50 pence per wash load! (I take it from my Housekeeping Money!) When the washer goes ( again ususally 5 or 6 years) I will have more than enough to replace the waher and dryer and any left over can be put to another use!

Maybe I am a little mad, but I would rather do it this way than find myself without a car or a washing machine!

So how do you organise the family's Finance$ ?
Karen

[jlxian]

Karen, we are not as organized as you and your DH, but our finances are similar to yours in that we pool our money and pay everything from that account. I am the basic money manager (and not always a good one, I must admit), and my DH really doesn't have a clue how much money is in the bank. He relies on me to make it work.

Here's a good example of the state of our current finances. We just got our income tax refund. Wow, now I have the money to re-vamp our bathroom this summer!! Wrong. Yesterday DH found out he has $500 worth of work that needs to be done to his truck, so there goes the bathroom money. But thank goodness that income tax money was there and we hadn't blown it on a stereo or dinners out or something.

Like you, we put money away each month for retirement -- I wish it was more!

I've been struggling to get our credit cards out of the way and start the PUSH method of paying off 3 other loans (auto, a new furnace, and mortage), AND start to save a little bit of money for those unforeseen expenses like automotive repairs. Recently, we have been using the credit cards to buy gasoline .. at least now I'm to the point that I can pay the entire balance off each month -- IF IF IF I don't go crazy and splurge on something.

You and your DH are so smart to be saving already for those not-so-unforeseen expenses! You are being very proactive, and I'm still in the reactive mode, but trying really hard to get proactive. Great example for us, too! Thanks for sharing this information.

Does this answer any of your questions?

[Emerald_Mommy]

My husband is the "bread-winner" in our family. I usually stay home with our two daughters. Early in our marriage I worked to supplement his income. We have never, ever had his/hers money. All money is ours and he has never made me feel guilty about that. We are partners.

We use the envelope system for our expenses. Each month we take out all the cash we need for the month and seperate that into envelopes. Once the envelope is empty that's it for the month (i.e. eating out, groceries, etc.) We have enough in the bank to cover an unexpected good deal or emergency.

My dh usually balances the check book and we pay the bills together. I manage the money in the envelopes, usually. We make our budget together every month, even though we've done this for 6 years we still sit down together and crunch the numbers. Some months are more crunchy than others We spend quite a bit of money through the year on gifts so we figured out how much we would need and divided it by twelve and we did the same with our Christmas budget so December is not quite so difficult.

We have a health savings account so most of our medical expenses are paid by us, for which we save some every month.
We also set aside a fixed amount every month for retirement. It's not very much but maybe some day we can do more.

In our marriage I tend to be the saver but he is not a crazy spender. We get a very small allowance each month and any gift money we receive is ours alone, although we have been known to buy things for each other from that, too. I just can't imagine a marriage where the husband and wife are not partners. We may not always agree but that's where you learn the art of compromise, right?

[thrifty gal]

Good question! I love to read how everyone else does their finances.

I am a sahm, so my dh works. I am basically the manager of our finances, but dh knows everything, and we never make a financial decision without asking the other first. We've never had his or her money either, except for allowances.

Dh gets paid weekly-on Fridays. Every Friday, we deposit a set amount of money for bills in our checkings, we only use our checkings account for bills-nothing else. We also deposit money into savings, while we are at the bank. The company dh works for has a great 401k plan in addition to another retirement plan, and we contribute to that.

[PrairieRose]

For most of our coming up on 29 yrs. of marriage I have been staying at home. The money goes into a general household fund and I am the chief cook/bottle washer/accountant . I pay the bills but Gripey and I discuss money quite often. I have never felt like we needed "his/her" money b/c we are on the same page nowadays where our money is concerned. There have been times in the past when one or the other of us was in the spend/splurge mode without the company of the other but now we are on parallel tracks. I'm happy with our system and it seems to be working fairly well for us.

[britbunny]

I don't go out to work anymore so obviously DH brings home all the money, but we both know what happens with all the money we have.

We have a list of fixed costs - mortgage, utilities etc and so we deduct that straight away from the wage packet (all our bills and student loans come out via direct debit).

DH pays the grocery and tv licence money into my account (I need to have at least one bill in my name for ID purposes). the reason I have the grocery money is that it is the one variable amount of money that is used at different times in the month, so it's easier to keep track of and it doesn't get lost with all the other transactions.

We pay ourselves first into an ISA each month, at the moment we are building up our emergency fund, then after that the money will go towards a new car.

As far as other purchases go we have a list of wants and needs and have them in order of priority. From the money left over after fixed costs we look at the list and choose one or more things a month to spend the money on.

For example, this month we have bought some badly needed new clothes for DH and had the car serviced. We budget for these things and then try to get them cheaper. If there is any money left over we will either put it into savings or carry it over to the next month.

I do know a few couples who do things in the way you described i.e like roomates and I also thought it was a little bit odd, always like they were not quite working together on things and as though they were proving something by having everything ordered that way... still if it works for them, it just would make me feel weird.

[pita1213]

dh and i have a joint account that all the bills and such get paid from. i have a savings and checking account from before we got married, but there is less than 20.00 in either of them. just never got over tot eh credit union to do anything with them.
both of our checks go direct deposit into checking. we don't get paid on the same weeks though. some things get paid out of dh's paycheck and others get paid out of my paycheck. we don't have his/her bills, it just works out the way it does because of how paydays fall. all of our bills are considered household bills, not mine or his but both. all money coming in goes to the joint account except chirstmas and birthday money. that is splurge money to do what you wish and the other doesn't get to complain about what you do with it.

[nayjean]

I personally do not get married people who have to split stuff that is just too odd ...When I do work (in the future still) all or 90% or so will go directlly into a savings of some sort. My husband is in the Army so we don't pay normal bills. SO for now he pays what bills we have and puts stuff in savings. We will never split stuff since we have never had "seperate" bills way seperate later.

[SewCrafty]

As my hubby and I have both said many a time. Neither one of us got married to be a 'single' or have separate anything. We got married and are a couple!

[seadream]

We have our money, not his or hers. We both have direct deposit, my checks go into the checking and dh goes into the savings...

[josephine]

DH and I have one account and all bills are paid from it. I do not work outside the home but if/when I do we will still pool our money. All of DH siblings keep their finances separate and pay various bills separately. His brother does not have phone service right now because there is a dispute over who has to pay the bill. I could not live that way!

[rllgreen]

Since our marriage in 1990, we have shared everything. It was always my DH's goal to have his wife at home while he provided for his family. Lucky for us it has worked out that way! I have been a SAHM for 12 of our 15 years of marriage. His income is enough to support all of us comfortably.
I manage the money in our home using Microsoft Money. It is a WONDERFUL program!! About quarterly, DH asks about money and where it has been going, so we pull up specific reports from the software and can track spending in categories.
When we bought our first house in 1991, we did not want to have to pay into an escrow account so we figured bills that come at irregular times (auto/homeowners insurance, vehicle registrations, water bills, property taxes, etc.) and divided that estimated total by 12 and saved that much each month. We use a Christmas club account for saving for Christmas gifts. We have a savings account for emergencies, but also rely on credit sometimes.
DH's employer has a 401K plan we have paid into since our marriage. They also have a pension plan and we have tried to take advantage of stock purchasing options over the years.
A couple of years ago we had to open a savings account in my name that was not jointly held. I can't even remember why. We have put money into it each month and that pays for our family vacations.
The only thing that has ever felt odd to me is purchasing gifts for my DH from his own income. He has never made me feel odd about it, that comes from inside me!
I cannot imagine handling our finances any other way, but my mom and step-dad split the bills and have separate financial responsibilities. My sister and her live-in significant other do as well. We are considered the odd ones in my extended family, but since I am not employed it would be tricky to do any other way!

[AmyMCGS]

Originally posted by Englishlady
she wanted to know what my "take home pay" was because when she had a baby, she wanted to know if she could afford to work part-time and COVER HER HALF OF THE MORTGAGE AND VISA BILLS?
Is it me or is it a bit strange that this couple had married yet seemed to be organising their finances like a couple of Room Mates?!!! 

  Wow~ that one shocked me.  I've never heard of such a thing when it comes to children!

DH and I pool our money, even though now I make far less than he does.  We go to the bank once a month to deposit paychecks and we keep out a certain amount of cash.  That cash is what we use for fast food, quick errands, etc. for the rest of the month.  We keep it in a safe place at home and both of us take out a little bit at a time as needed.   Everything else goes on a credit card which is paid in full at the end of each month-- we have no debt other than our mortgage.

DH is an awesome financial planner... thanks to him we paid off our student loans early, paid for most of our own wedding, and were able to build our new house.    I used Microsoft money for my personal finances before we were married, but DH prefers to do it on paper, and I'm not going to interfere since he does such a great job.   He invests some of our money and saves the rest.  We don't have a particular system, but, if you ask him I'm sure he could give you a mental list of exactly how much we have where and what it will be used for. 

 

[Telephus44]

Ok, I'm the oddball - I'm married and we still have a "his and hers" system.

We each have our own checking accounts, and one joint account. Our paychecks go into our own separate accounts. Each pay period, we each transfer over a certain amount of money into the joint account, which covers rent, utilities, groceries, phone, etc.

Part of the reason we do this is that coming into the marraige we each have our own debts - my husband had about $15K in credit card debt, and I had about $15K in student loan debt. We each had our own car payments. Our money management strategies were different. This also allows me to buy a pair of shoes and him to buy a new computer part without the other one asking, Why? Was that necessary?

As far as the "we are a couple" idea - we are a couple. Our joint finances are an open book, and we constantly discuss our plans - which debts we're tackling first and why, how much do we have saved towards a down payment on a house, etc. And the idea is to merge our finances gradually. We have both paid off our cars, and the next new vehicle that is purchased will be through our joint account. Eventually, we would like to have me stay home with our child (we don't have one yet) and obviously the system would have to be adjusted. I think that one income families have the hardest time trying to get this "his and hers" idea because it seems quite foreign to them. And we do cover for each other. Right now my DH is unemployed, and I now put in a much larger contribution per month to our joint account to cover all the expenses, and this isn't anything DH "owes" or has to pay back. He has done the same thing for me when the situation was reversed.

And to the poor lady who couldn't pay "her half of the mortgage" - we make our contributions proportionately. When I made 30K and DH made 65K, he put in twice and much as I did. So if I had gone to part-time work, I would not have had to put in the same dollar amount.