I am so behind on my bills, and I am so depressed
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  1. #1
    Registered User justjenn's Avatar
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    Unhappy I am so behind on my bills, and I am so depressed

    I give up! I am so disorganized, and since dh got laid off, I just can't get a grip on our spending. We are one month behind on 4 major bills (4 out of our whopping 19 ). 7 of our bills are credit cards, but I can't pay more on those until I get caught up on the rest. How do I do this?? It is hard to get caught up on them when I have bills to pay right now. I am trying so hard to be frugal, but it doesn't help. Dh is a spender, especially when we go grocer shopping, and he will not hear of not going with me. He used to not go, but now since he has more time on his hands he goes. I hate it! We have nothing in savings. Pease I need some advice. Has anyone ever went through this? What did you do?

  2. #2
    Registered User Lori Biever-Launder's Avatar
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    First, call the credit cards and explain your situation. Let them know that you want to make payments and are hoping to make tiny ones until you get back on your feet. Hopefully they will work for you.

    Second, since DH insists on going grocery shopping with you (we all know it is SOOO exciting! ) take only a certain amount of CASH with you. Leave all the credit cards at home as well as the check book. Hey, if you've only got twenty bucks to spend, then it really has to be used on essentials!

    You might want to look into credit counseling. It might help and won't cost you like letting the bills go and pile up, possible ruining your credit for YEARS.

    Hang in there, kiddo. We have all been in tough situations and we've gotten through them. we are rooting for you!

  3. #3
    Registered User snowangel's Avatar
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    Maybe to give hubby an idea of what is going on you could suggest he help you out by taking over the budget/bill payment. Since he has so much extra time now he should be happy to help out, do it the day before you go to the store. That may help him understand how you are feeling. Good luck!

  4. #4
    simplemom's Avatar
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    (((hugs))) I hope your situation gets better soon...

    Have you had the time to sit and talk about these financial problems? What does your DH say? Are you the only one concerned by your depts?

    If you can, cut up your credit cards now. Don`t use them anymore. You have to stop the viscious cycle of adding more dept on your credit cards.

    I understand that you must be so down with all this...
    Try to keep a positive outlook at the futur. Try to make your life special with your DH with activities that cost no money. There`s so much we can do! Sometimes we just don`t see it.

    I have a good book to recomend if you can borrow it from the library or buy it. It will help solve your depts problems. It`s called

    How to Get What You Want in Life with the Money You Already Have
    by Carol Keeffe printed by Little, Brown and Comapny.

    What it explains is how to get out of dept by paying the minimum on your credit cards. Sounds crazy, but she has lots of great ideas and it works.

    Well, good luck dear justjenn. Keep your courage.

  5. #5
    Registered User MANDERS's Avatar
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    I agree with all of the above.CUT UP THOSE CARD RIGHT NOW!!If you don't it will be further temptation to use them on things that you won't even remember using them for,like groceries.Try to use cash for everything,and if you don't need it don't buy it.Also I would sit down with dh and talk to him about it.Try writing down what you spend everyday,even if you have to take 2 pages for your groceries.Write down what the item(bill,candy,milk clothes etc)is and what you spent then at the end of the month go threw the whole thing and add up everything that is not essential(candy bar at the checkout,extra charges on you phone bill,that new pair of jeans you just have to have)It will add up pretty quick,you'd be surprised on what you spend your money on.I used to buy a coke everytime I went to the grocery store,not anymore.They put those there as temptation,you have to fight it.Make a list when you go shopping and stick to it.Tell dh this is the only way you can stick to your budget.Make one for you and one for him,send him off with the list and tell him only things on the list.If he comes back with something not on the list then secretly put it back,I know this sounds sneaky but if he won't help then this is what you have to do 2.00 of unneeded things can add up to a lot esp if you go shopping often.It can quickly add up to 20.00 which could be a payment to a bill.

    Here are some sites to some consumer credit counceling services.

    www.non-profit-credit-counseling.org
    www.consumercredit.com
    www.cccamerica.com
    www.debtfree.org
    www.cccsn.org
    www.byebyedebt.org

    I would check into these instead of consolidating any loans.There is a big diference,consolidating is actualy one loan but for a period of 5-15 yrs or more.And the credit counceling aggencies call the company's themselves to negotiate lower payments and intrest rates.Hope this helped

  6. #6
    Registered User milach's Avatar
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    I agree with what everyone else has said, especially about making a list for the grocery store and sticking to it. I'm sure you already shop according to what's on sale and using coupons. The biggest money pit on my gorcery bill used to be beer and junk food. I can't stand "yellow beers", like Bud, Miller- all of which cost next to nothing. I'd spend $6.99 on a 6 pack of Sam Adams, Pete's, Killian's or whatever. Now I don't buy any beer, unless they're darn there giving it away, including the already cheap stuff. If DH absolutely has to have beer, he can buy it with his weekly spending cash and not have any money for the rest of the week. As for munchies, we all need those. So instead of spending $3.29 for a bag of Doritoes, I spend $1.29 on a lb of grapes, 89 cents a lb for apples. It's alot cheaper and better for you. Sit down with your dh, tell him we only have X amount to spend for groceries this week- so what can we live without? If he says nothing, leave him home. Get up at 1 in the AM while he's sleeping and hit the super Wal Mart. I know men are worse than kids at the grocery store. At least my ds usually only wants one thing (like animal crackers) out of the whole trip, DH wants something out of every aisle. Yes, I'd rather bring my 2 year old shopping with me than my own husband- LOL! Or you can send DH by himself to the store with the $20.00 cash you have to spend and see what he comes back with. When he fails miserably, maybe he'll keep his mouth shut next time he insists on going along.

    I know all couples disagree about money, since one is usually a spender, and the other a saver. I hope you do call a credit counseling service and get some sort of relief during this hard time for you. If you do it now, when he finds work again- you'll have money left over at the end of each month to lower those bills even more. Big hugs to you!!!

    Laura

  7. #7
    Registered User CAGmomof2's Avatar
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    Post I will be lifting you up in my prayers!!

    I will be lifting you up in my prayers!!
    I am going through a simlar situation in the fact the bills are pilling up but we don't have the money to pay them at this time!!
    We never have enough money left over for Groceries or We Don't Have Money at all for Groceries at DH's Job he is at now!!
    We Barely Make enough to pay our Mortgage let alone pay our other household bills like water,power,phone, and other bills!!
    But God Has Been Faithfull and He is Continuing to Be Faithfull to My Family and I!!
    We have never done without God has always sent a way for us to get food it may not be alot of food but it has gotten us by!!

  8. #8
    Registered User justjenn's Avatar
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    Thanks everyone. I stopped using my credit cards months ago. Actually, it has probably been a year now since I last used one. My balances are really not that bad. All 7 of them come to about $2,000 total. I know many people with more.

    We have just fallen behind on our mortgage, truck, etc bills and it is hard to make a budget when you are trying to catch up.

  9. #9
    CorneliaBob
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    I agree with all of the above...and I know from experience. I lost my job in january when my company decided to close the regional office here in town. Me and my dh are lucky in the fact that we don't have alot of credit card debt and we did have some savings when I got laid off....I agree that something needs to be done with your credit card debt...but I am not a big fan of the debt counceling agencies.....for one you have to forfiet your card and close all accounts, also there is a monthy fee charged for this service....and it usually takes them two or three months to work out a deal with the credit card companies so the late charges and interest is still adding up....this may be the option for you in your situation, but alot of people don't know that you can call the credit card companies yourself and work out interest deals and payment arrangements, espcially if you were a good payer in the past....call and ask to speak to a supervisor, explain your situation and that you want to see what kind of arrangement you can make...be firm...they will work with you if you work with them...this cuts out the middle man and gets you on track....

    As for your dh, tell him you want to go to the store yourself, but for him to make a list of the stuff he wants...that way you will have control over what and how much you spend...explain to him that you all will have to cut out some spending until things get better.... for us eating out was a big thing for us...we decided to have more meals at home and that saved us a bundle...and we are eating better...

    Something else that we did was that we sat down and wrote out all our bills and how much they were....we then decided where we could make cuts....we looked at EVERYTHING....we changed our cable plan, got rid of all those little extras on our phone plan, looked at our car insurance...its amazing how much difference a higher ded will cut the cost of your insurance....anyway we saved ALOT of money by making a few cuts here and there.... you will also find by doing this that there are alot of things that you can live without...

    Look for ways to add income..things you could sell or trade for things that you do need.....being off work has given me the time to go through everything we own and I am having a yard sale this weekend and putting all that money on our loan payment.
    Also, could your dh take on a "under the table job" like mowing yards or handyman jobs...you usually don't have to pay taxes on these jobs and you don't have to report them with your unemployment.....I have done a few odd jobs for our neighbors and have used that money for extras...

    We have done really well since I have been off, my dh is really proud of how I have saved money...sorry this was sooo long, but I hope it helps you some.....
    The best advice that I can give to you and your dh is that you have to know that bad things will happen but that you have to take them as they are and change a few things to help make it through....things will get better and your dh will find another job...until then TALK, TALK, TALK to each other about what you two are going through and how to make it better for your both...

    Good luck to you!!!!

  10. #10
    FV Buddy aka Kellie Bob Jerseygirl's Avatar
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    Amen! What all these ladies are saying is it-you have to take control and keep it, I hate having to deny myself and dh something we want, but you have to look at the big picture. Everytime dh says "it's only $3" I remind him that it was cutting so many of those $3 that got us the 15 year mortgage while most of our friends are doing 30 years on smaller places. Reminding him of the success we have had keeps us both going. I also treat him-he doesn't really miss the $5 gallon of icecream if I have a pint of something I had a coupon and sale on. If there is a big bag of $.99 pretzels sitting on the table he doesn't look for the $3 Doritos. Good luck!

  11. #11
    Registered User Sarah's Avatar
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    Sarah
    Hello everyone. I am in a similar situation as justjenn is but worse. I am unable to pay on anything because of a one income family living on 900 dollars per month. I have called the credit card companies and they call me every 5 days to see if my situation as changed. It hasn't and I have been taking medicine for the depression and anxiety the companies are causing me. I have been looking for a full time job plus a full time baby sitter for my 7 yr old daughter for the school year. I have prayed daily for guideance and strenght. I know there are answers out there I just have to keep searching and not give up. But some times this is a burden and I truly want to give up.
    justjenn You are in my prayers also. Keep your chin up. We both will find some kind of answers if we keep looking.

    Sarah

  12. #12
    Registered User CAGmomof2's Avatar
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    Default Sarah I am praying for you and for your situation!!

    Sarah I am praying for you and for your situation!!

  13. #13
    Registered User mustang80's Avatar
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    Sarah, have you considered selling on eBay for extra income? Surely you have outgrown clothes, knick knacks, books that no one uses anymore. I am able to make 2 car payments (total of $250.00) per month just by selling on eBay. It is allowing me to stay home with our kids for the time being. Good luck!
    Danielle


    Mom to 3 girls

    Ashlee 23
    Raechel 20
    Courtney 10

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