material items vs. experiences

**Sara Noel** · 06-09-2005, 09:54 AM

I've always believed (for me) that experiences offer greater happiness than material items.

But when I consider the goals Gabe and I have, some are material and none are experiences like a vacation.

Do you think experiences are more fulfilling or give you greater happiness than material things?

I guess when given the option of improving our home or going on a nice vacation...I still choose improving our home and think many people opt for the vacation instead.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about our goals over here and this is one area I'm a bit "stuck" on.

**Kimberlina** · 06-09-2005, 10:16 AM

It is such a coincidence that you bring this up today, Sara- I was just contemplating this yesterday while hanging clothes in my semi-defunct (brand new!) clothes line. (While thinking to myself that I don't need to buy anything on vacation this year- just take a lot of pics like usual.)

For me, although I do have some material goals, memories of experiences are more important. I've known this was true of me ever since I was about 16, because I remember this book that was just filled with questions to make you think or to ask others as converation starters. One of the questions was something like this: If you could have an experience, but no memory of it after it was over, or have the memoy w/o actually having had the experience, which would you choose?

That question really got me thinking about memories and how important they are, and how experienceing something and remembering it is more important than collecting up things. Me- I'd rather go on the vacation and put off the house. (As evidenced by the fact that my dining room is still only half re-decorated!

) And unfortunately, I think that says some bad things about me (as well as good, depending on your perspective.) Do I want instant gratification?

That said, I also hav material goals. There are lots of areas of our house that need refinishing. All of our hardwood needs to be refinished. If we just stayed away from Cape May one year, we'd be able to get a lot of that done. But I need to have that experience in my life more than I need my floors sanded right now. The vacation and the memories will make me happy whenever I think of them. Sure, the floor will make me happy, but someday it won't matter anymore- the time spent with my family always will. And that is why experiences are more important to me personally.

**homesteadmamma** · 06-09-2005, 10:20 AM

For me I think experiences offer far great happiness. We love taking vacations and seeing other parts of Canada, enjoying time together as family w/o anything taking away from our family time.

We've opted at times to improve our home over a vacation. However, I'd far rather take a vacation than renovate our home.

A few years ago we spent $7,000 on a family vacation. We could have spent that on work that needs to be done around here. It was a vacation of a lifetime and we still talk about the fun we had.

I think it all comes down to finding balance between the two. Some material items are important (new windows, a vehicle, etc.) while vacations and fun time are important too. Sometimes that is hard to do.

**britbunny** · 06-09-2005, 10:49 AM

I don't necessarily see a vacation as an experience and home improvements as material things. a vacation is something that is bought and paid for, as are the materials required for home improvements.

Vacations are something out of the ordinary, they're infrequent events so I think it's natural that you would look forward to them more than doing up the house. But I don't think it's an either/or situation.

Neither house repairs or a holiday provide in themselves the unforgetable experience, the context of them brings that, you create the experience. I don't like doing house repairs necessarily, but Scott and I work together and get the enjoyment of working together, having a laugh, singing along with the radio and getting the job done - knowing that we did it.

I don't think that just because something is functional it shouldn't be seen as an experience, it's like not looking out of the window of the car because you're not at the destination yet...

**Kimberlina** · 06-09-2005, 11:13 AM

Oh- you bring to mind a point I thought of and meant to mention in my first post but forgot:

As much as I would rather have the experince of something, I think some material things HELP you have experiences. If my house is run down and in a shambles, I won't be happy, so some material things are important in daily life, too.

**Mom23boys** · 06-09-2005, 12:12 PM

Originally posted by Kimberlina
Sure, the floor will make me happy, but someday it won't matter anymore- the time spent with my family always will. And that is why experiences are more important to me personally.

I agree Kimberly. I have lots of things I want to do to the house, but the memories we make as a family are more important to me. I believe that now more than ever since Richard is a senior this year and will be moving on with his own life in another year. I just hope that we gave him great memories for him to carry on with him for the rest of his life. I know he has given us alot.

**Telephus44** · 06-09-2005, 09:55 PM

Originally posted by Kimberlina
Oh- you bring to mind a point I thought of and meant to mention in my first post but forgot:

As much as I would rather have the experince of something, I think some material things HELP you have experiences. If my house is run down and in a shambles, I won't be happy, so some material things are important in daily life, too.

This is exactly my point! For me, its not so much an experience or a memory about a specific place or event, but a general feeling. I remember as a kid that I had a great time playing in the pond in my backyard, so consquently I want a house with a backyard with a pond for my kid. Its all about creating the setting to experience feelings - and that's also where family time comes in. Like BritBunny was saying about spending time with Scott while working on improvements - that's also a memory/experience. In the end, that's what counts - being with friends and family and having that nice feeling of contentment/happiness/joy/whatever you will call it, not necessarily a special place or time.

Just MHO.

**Mamaw** · 06-09-2005, 10:06 PM

I think it is all about balance. We all need certain material things in our lives in order to be content but we also need memories and experiences to add to our joy. I know I am not content if everything in the house seems to be falling apart so I need to keep things in good working order and to occasionally add something different like new shower curtains or pillows. But I also need to have fun experiences with my family. I know I remember the experiences more than any possession I have ever had. So I would say the experiences and memories are most important unless there is a critical emergency in the household!