How did you all convince DH to join you

**Mamaw** · 06-13-2005, 12:44 PM

How did you all convince your DH to join you in the quest for frugal living and debt reduction? My DH can be very frugal but only if the $$ he is saving will go toward buying sporting or fishing items! Now he wants to buy a new fishing boat to the tune of 20,000. NO WAY !!! My goal is to pay off debt and increase retirement savings! AUGHHH!!! Anyone have any good stories to share about how to convince your partner to join in the frugal lifestyle?

**homesteadmamma** · 06-13-2005, 01:01 PM

Instead of talking to him, show him. Continue to get rid of debt and put money into savings. Show him what your doing and tell him how important this is to you. You won't ever convince someone to do something when they don't want to do it. They have to see the end results first.

Set up an allowance system for him and tell him he can spend his allowance anyway he wants.

It was easy for me because dh is even more frugal than I am. We set goals and both worked towards them.

**Jayne** · 06-13-2005, 01:53 PM

My dh has no real problem with us being frugal, I'm the one who spends money we don't have

**thrifty gal** · 06-13-2005, 04:58 PM

My dh is not the most frugal, but he used to be a lot worse. Used to we argued a lot about his being unfrugal. Finally, I got tired of arguing with him about it. I started getting him involved, by asking him questions when I did the budget. I would get him to write out a check for a bill, etc. IOW, without aruging, and playing the blame game, I got him to be more involved with our finances. He really started to see where our money was going, and realized that by being frugal we could accomplish our goals.

**Telephus44** · 06-13-2005, 06:58 PM

Mine came on board when we got married and started talking about buying a house. For a 10% down payment we need about $20,000. I also tried to be open with my finances, told him what my student loan balances were, etc. Of course, now with him being unemployed its REALLY sinking in!

**PoorRichardsGirl** · 06-14-2005, 08:31 AM

Nothing has gotten through to him as much as seeing his co-workers suffering because of bad financial decisions. One guy just had his car repossessed, for example. He sees that these guys always seem to be struggling, yet they have every cable channel imaginable and high-speed internet connections. They get free apartments as part of their jobs, and still can't save. He sees apartment residents, in addition to coworkers, who have $50,000 vehicles and will never manage to get out and buy a house because of it. I've also told him about our cc balance and I guess he can now see where it could lead. Rather than it just being a number.

I know it's all sinking in, because of his recent willingness to cut out the cable channels and give up one of his two Tasty-Kake boxes a week. (When they are full price now, one box is $3!) He actually told ME the other day that "you have to live within your means."

**PrairieRose** · 06-14-2005, 10:10 AM

For me it was just going ahead and doing the frugal things without his participation. When I started the debt snowball plan I just started and after I paid off the first debt I showed him how fast it went. Still not much enthusiasm. After I paid off the 2nd one, his eyebrows raised a bit when I showed him. After I paid the 3rd one off and I told him how long we would have been paying on them all the "other" way, he said "Now HOW are you doing this again?!" Like I was doing something illegal or immoral...

Shortly thereafter he began to listen to Dave Ramsey. He was totally onboard after that.

**Mamaw** · 06-14-2005, 03:34 PM

I think I just have to go for it and do it myself until I can prove the savings to him. But I wish I could get him on board now since I know he could spend less himself and it would be more toward debt. Oh well....I am still working at this ladies! Using the envelope system and cash for groceries. Really kept me thinking on last shopping trip and limited my impulse buys! Every cent counts right??

**Jerseygirl** · 06-18-2005, 10:36 PM

Consider giving him an allowance-even if it is just for the month-it would really open his eyes to what things actually cost and what can be cut out, with as little pain as possible.

**rebecca** · 07-03-2005, 06:36 AM

Pennies for the month of June: $1.10

**favesis37** · 07-03-2005, 08:02 PM

DH is alot more frugal then i am, he is always watching every penny

**Mojjo** · 07-03-2005, 08:39 PM

I showed him the numbers on paper and then showed him what we could do if we were frugal. It's been a huge change for both of us.

**beckanoah** · 07-03-2005, 08:47 PM

Well, I have no husband, lol...

but I finally convinced myself, that since I'm the only one making the money, I need to be wiser with it. We'll see how that goes.

**frugalfarmwife** · 07-04-2005, 01:45 AM

My hubby had no choice, the 36 acres in front of us was being lost by the owner to bankruptcy and I chased it down, hubby was informed that it would cost him ALL spending money, hobby money and more if he wanted to add it to the farm.

We now live out of the freezer, from the garden and from Aldis but he's busting with pride to have an 82 acre farm.

Kriss

**patches** · 07-04-2005, 02:16 AM

My DH has had a hard row to hoe in learning just to manage money. Control issues! He almost lost our house and that scared the livin daylights out of him.

He was real good with learning to buy stuff on sale and stuff but he couldnt' balance a checkbook to save his life.

Now, he finally gave up and handed the checkbook to me. I'm hoping to get us back on track.

Also, I think he realises just how insane it is to keep messing up financially the way he has.

He also, gave up his pride and swallowed the fact that it just isn't one of those areas he is good at. It's only taken 10 yrs.

Be patient, if you can, and keep doing the next right thing. Oh, and prayer goes a long way in helping too. I had to do a lot of praying to keep from 'nagging him' about his financial irresponsability. I'm someone who will confront when it comes to my safety or my boundaries. I wouldnt' use to do this but I've learned to. With this thing, confronting him and letting him know that it affected our marriage didn't do any good. It actually made it worse.

I finally surrendered it to God.