I've fallen of the frugal wagon..yikes

**MelinaG** · 08-24-2005, 12:15 PM

Hello,

I hold my head in shame.... I've fallen off the frugal wagon. We are not in debt mind you however we are not saving as aggressively as we could be. I think the main difference because we moved a super liberal place where we have the option to buy fairly traded coffee and environmentally friendly everything. There are even locally grown organic veggie farms by us and I of course spend with my morals because we can...I will continue too. I'm here to keep me from overly spending on other issues. Like, walking instead of driving and not running out to buy Sophia the newest educational toy....basically I backto keep focus on the goal of home buying and in Boston those homes in good school districts do not come cheap!!!

Also, just to keep everyone updated I'm am part of a homeschool co-op. for sophia until we can afford to purhase in a good solid school district or go private for high school....10 yrs away but it is always good to plan.

Melina

 

**cheapgeek** · 08-24-2005, 12:23 PM

Hey - I consider it charitable, not unfrugal, to spend your money in a way that you believe betters the lives of others. I buy fair trade coffee off and on, when I can afford it. I applaud you.

**PrairieRose** · 08-24-2005, 12:35 PM

You know, frugality is not a sentence imposed upon us. We save in areas so that we can spend a little more in others (or not, depending on how frugal any one person is ofcourse), or that's how it is at our house. We pinch where it doesn't hurt so much so if we should splurge for whatever reason we don't feel ashamed of ourselves. It's great to plan ahead and the need to save is real, but hey this is your life....don't waste it fretting over the past. If you know you can do better than do it.

Onward and upward.

**Michele Annette** · 08-24-2005, 01:22 PM

You know, frugality is not a sentence imposed upon us. We save in areas so that we can spend a little more in others (or not, depending on how frugal any one person is ofcourse), or that's how it is at our house. We pinch where it doesn't hurt so much so if we should splurge for whatever reason we don't feel ashamed of ourselves. It's great to plan ahead and the need to save is real, but hey this is your life....don't waste it fretting over the past. If you know you can do better than do it. Onward and upward.

**dina** · 08-25-2005, 07:13 AM

There is no one size fits all plan for frugal living. We all have different priorities, preferences and lifestyles. We live a similar lifestyle and some things just cost more but you can still find ways to save money on those things that are non-negotiable for you. Joining a co-op, bartering, seeing if inidividual farmers will make deals on quantity purchaces are just a few that come to mind right away. And I still look for sales and coupons.

One word of caution. I know how easy it is to fall into the "bandwagon effect." When everyone around you is doing/buying something and it makes so much sense, or is such a good cause it can be hard to resist. Many people in the kind of lifestyle you describe also get caught up in externals -- the "trappings" of a particular cause or lifestyle. These are usually things that when you get right down to it don't really matter. So, be careful that you don't find yourself just "following the crowd."

Take a look at your values -- what is most important to you. If your current lifestyle and buying a house are equal in importance then you need to find ways to make both possible. This might mean cutting down on some of the new things available to you -- I didn't say cut out, just downscale a little bit. Buy your fairly traded coffee, but buy less of it, less often. See if instead of buying every environmentally friendly cleaner available you can make one or two of your own. Also look for other areas to save money or cut back in.

With the kind of crowd we hang with where I really have to stand my ground is with the spiritual stuff. If we took every class, bought every book and went to every teacher/practitioner our friends tried to get us into we would probably be homeless. And I know all about the guilt of feeling like your not doing enough for the cause. But you have to remember true enlightenment is not about "stuff." Caring for your fellow human beings and the environment is not about "stuff."

There are still ways to live your lifestyle and save money. But you just can't compare yourself to people with other priorities.

**thrifty gal** · 08-25-2005, 12:49 PM

Big hugs. I agree with what has been said. But, I have to admit I have not been all that frugal either. Let's just pick ourselves up and keep on going.

**psjkmom** · 08-25-2005, 02:00 PM

Well-said Dina!

**dina** · 08-25-2005, 02:31 PM

Thank you.

**MelinaG** · 08-25-2005, 03:10 PM

Dina,

I couldn't agree with you more. We are a very environmental family which cost us more on somethings like: food ect... but saves us money in others like we have a washer dryer hook-up but only bought a washer because clothes dry by themselves. So we save on the appliance costs and the electrical bill.

Our goal is to buy and extremily small property in or around boston in a great school district that we can walk to and give up our family car which is our only car and it is a toyota echo. Our main values are education and the environment...third in line would be simple living. Okay, well family first of course. DD and DH are my life.

I belive in owning a home or condo for equity purposes but beside that I truely belive you become a slave to what you own. So, basically we are lucky that a lot of our values are frugal. Thanks for making me not feel guilty about fairly traded coffee!

**dina** · 08-26-2005, 06:54 AM

Originally posted by MelinaG
Thanks for making me not feel guilty about fairly traded coffee!

I won't say anything about your coffee, if you don't say anything about my yearly "spa day."  

Seriously, I hope nothing I said was offensive to you. I guess I did come on pretty strong. But it took me a long time to find the path I'm on and I believe in it so much sometimes I get a little carried away.