Frugal attitudes

[peanut]

By and large I've found frugality to be an attitude. Rather than come from it in terms of specifics, I needed to start with an overall view of it.

I used to view frugality as doing without, being parsimonious (I love that word!) or cheap. It took me some time to realize it also meant showing respect for God's creation, using the talents God gave me, and developing skills that would enhance not only my lifestyle, but those around me.

While some people in my family view me as a bit extreme ("You mean you wear dead people's clothes?!"), in fact the complainers seem to be in awe of us too. We are told how well off we are. We chuckle. We earn a fraction of what these people do, but we know how to make it stretch.

So I thought I'd post a series of threads on ideas and tips I've picked up over the years. In fact, you are getting the key pickings from the Frugal Homemaking Journal I'm writing for dd#2 when she leaves home.

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Attitudes...The key attitude is to don't let anyone do for you what you can do for yourself. Not only does this build character, it builds self-esteem. Hopefully you will be constantly learning new skills and ideas. New skills are good. You can transfer them to other areas of your life to save time, effort and money.

In some cases they can be transferred directly to the workplace. Dh hires SAHM's because they know how to plan, organize and execute their plans. They are efficient time managers. In fact, businesses love experienced SAHM's because they make wonderful office managers! So give yourself some credit. While you're learning all this frugal stuff and household management stuff, you are garnering transferrable skills for the workplace. Your efforts are not only worth something at home, but have value in the work world.

That was important for me to understand. Once I understood it, I no longer saw being a SAHM as wasting my time and talent. I was raised that women should work outside the home AND be a supermom at home. I was relieved to be free from that burden.

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The next attitude is creativity. Being creative can make the difference between success in frugality and failure. Books can take you so far, but you have to look at your own situation and determine the best solution for your family. That involves learning problem solving techniques.

Problem solving happens in steps. First you define the problem. Discuss it. Is the problem really what it appears to be? Next ask yourself why it's a problem. Sometimes the answer can point you to potential solutions. Then you brainstorm possible solutions. Talk to others too. Especially your family. If they're on board then frugality has a much better chance of succeeding. Decide jointly on a solution that best suits the whole family. Try it on a trial basis. If it doesn't work, then go back to the drawing board. Simple stuff.

For example...we used to spend a lot of money dining out...we're doing it again now. I sat down and determined why we were dining out. It was for company, entertainment, because I was bored or tired. I ended up devising a solution for each of those situations. Including dh and dd's helping with cooking, baking cheesecake and freezing it pre-sliced for snacks, making my own coffee mixes, planning ethnic cooking at times for a change, and picnics. I also took up megacooking (oamc) for the days I was really tired.

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Another attitude to cultivate is one of plenty. You are not doing without. You are making your dollar give you as much life as it can.

What this means for us is, instead of going out for dinner, we get to go out to coffee innumerable times for the same price. Or even breakfast is cheaper than dinner. So take your kids for breakfast instead of dinner.

Instead of the symphony, we go to local chamber concerts in churches and other public institutions. Instead of the professional live theatre, we go to amateur live theatre, where the tickets are 1/2 the price. And, to be really cheap, we go to the university theatre or the annual $5 night at the local amateur theatre group. Or we go to the library for free movie nights. Or we take library DVDs home for a movie and popcorn night. We go to the provincial art gallery for relatively cheap tours and a chance to play in their studio.

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A person needs to come to frugality with a positive mindset. Instead of focusing on what you can't do, focus on what your ideal life would consist of. Then get creative and figure out the best way to get there...using frugality as a tool. It is not the "be all and end all" of life. It is a means to get from one place in life to the next.

If you think this is leading to goal setting, you're right. Setting short term, mid term and long term goals is crucial to your happiness. The trick is to break them down into doable steps and to have your SO on-line about them. Mine is not, so a lot of my goals from 20 years ago are unfilled. I highly recommend you spend time with your SO daydreaming about the future and putting price tags on the things you want to do. The big difference will be accomplishing those steps in as frugal a way as possible.

It is much easier to get family on-line if you can give them a positive reason for doing something. Telling them you want to cut back treats so you can afford a trip to Disneyland works wonders with kids.

The reality is there are trade offs for everything in life. No matter how rich you are. Don't imagine those movie stars have it good because they're rolling in the dough. No...their tradeoff is they lose their privacy and their personal life suffers. So what tradeoffs do you want to make in life? What's important to you? Create a lifestyle that exemplifies what is important to you.

Lifestyles don't just happen. They are the result of human action or inaction. So plan your action and get moving! We started by writing out a family mission statement. I believe Steven Covey has a book on how to do this. I'm sure there are other books on how to do this.

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God has a lot to say about our attitudes towards money and how we should interact with it. Check out: 1 Tim. 6:6-10, Heb. 13:5, Prov. 16:8 and Matt. 6:19-21, 33. The Bible also gives us clues on how we might achieve success, and it does not view financial success as the goal (Deut. 29:9, Ps 1:1-3, Prov. 21:20, Prov. 24:30-34, Heb. 6:11-12, Prov. 3:9-10).

We are told not to worry about money (Phil 4:19, Ps 37:25). And by and large, I've found that to be true. People who worry about money never have enough. You do have to use it wisely and plan your spending, but worrying is not constructive. Once you've made your plan...just do it! Ultimately the important things in life are your relationships with other people and with God.

End of the first epistle of Jean! Okay, you can all wake up now!LOL The lecture is over. From here on in it's a bunch of posts on ideas that you are more than welcome to add to!

Jean

[alabamagirl]

I enjoyed Jean! I sure have a long way to go on conquering the dining out. I've been doing better for lunches and breakfast but still eat out too much at night.

[thrifty gal]

Great post. Thanks.

[Mamaw]

Keep writing and adding threads like this. It is wonderful and inspiring...good points and oh so true!

[PrairieRose]

WTG Jean, I really enjoyed that. Looking forward to the rest of the thread

[bee9984]

Originally posted by Mamaw
Keep writing and adding threads like this. It is wonderful and inspiring...good points and oh so true!

I agree totally! I so enjoy your threads

Thank-you so much

[ironmaiden]

Whenever I made a budget, I felt deprived and then blew money to counteract that feeling. Obviously, this didn't work.

Then I read "Your Money or Your Life" and realized that it was an attitude. If you looked toward positive goals, not thinking of your life as "poor me", it was a whole different outlook. I tell people to read the book, not as HOW to save money, but to be motivated to do so. Now I think I'm SMART about money, not deprived. STUFF just doesn't do it for me the way it used to

p.s. some of the many reasons I'm fighting this mall thing is to preserve my 4.5% mortgage and not have the expenses of moving, and not to have my kids in walking distance of a mall!!!

[peanut]

WTg Ironmaiden! In fact, "Your Money or Your Life" was the first book I recommended to dd#1 to read about finances when she moved out of home and asked. I think it's a great eye opener. Really changes the "poor me" attitude so many of us seem to have.

Jean